Chapter 4 - Thoughts and Nightmares

After Rose brushed her teeth, she slid under her bedcovers and curled up onto her side. The way the Doctor had touched just moments earlier made her feel dizzy and in love in a way that nobody had ever done before, not even Mickey. She thought long and hard about the one and a half years that she'd been travelling with him. She'd always liked him as a best friend, but there was a feeling that she had been aware of for a long time, that she kept suppressed deep inside of her because she was afraid to let it out. A feeling that she wanted more than just friendship with the Doctor. These days, it was getting harder to ignore that feeling. But a relationship with the Doctor could never work. For starters, he wasn't even human. And anyway, he wasn't the type to fall in love with a common Earth girl like herself. But, sometimes, Rose couldn't help thinking, the look in his eye when she caught him staring at her, suggested something different.

As she was falling asleep, her mind shifted to her mum who was trapped in a parallel universe. She had barely had any time to think of her today. Drowning herself in sorrowful thoughts, she drifted to sleep.

The Doctor leaned back on the sofa and stretched out. He didn't like it when Rose went to bed as he always felt a bit lonely. He wracked his brains for some way out of the mess they were in, some way to summon the TARDIS back. But, try as he might, he was completely stuck for ideas. It was hopeless. His thoughts switched to Rose and he felt a surge of guilt. Yesterday, she has lost her mum for good. Today, they had gotten stuck in 1987. Human lifespans were very short compared to Time Lord lifespans. They were going to be spending valuable time stuck on the slow path, instead of Rose living life to the full and having adventures while she was young. But, maybe being stuck on the slow path for a while wasn't such a bad thing. If he was by himself, yes, it would have driven him crazy, but he was with Rose. There was something about Rose that he found so beautiful, so alluring. Her smile played on his mind in ways not even he could understand. Yet, he could never give himself to her.

He sighed and tapped a spontaneous rhythm on the edge of the sofa. He wasn't tired. In fact, he wasn't quite sure what to do with himself. There was no TARDIS console to tinker with, no TARDIS library to read books in, and no TARDIS pool to go swimming in. That blue box was his life when Rose wasn't around.

He got up onto his feet and paced around the room. The main room was very small and plain. Sitting around in there all night would propel him into a sense of madness for sure. He glanced at the clock. Quarter to twelve. Just as he was contemplating going for a midnight walk around the hotel, he remembered that they'd bought a brand new set of ties for him when they went shopping. Maybe he could try them all on to kill some time. There was a problem, however, which was the fact that Rose was sleeping and he didn't want to disturb her. He toyed around with the idea of creeping in her room for a bit, before hearing a soft whimpering sound. He stood still. It almost sounded like crying, coming from the direction of...Rose. He went over to the bedroom door and knocked on it, in the little rhythm that he always used on her bedroom door back in the TARDIS.

"Doctor?" Rose said, her voice quiet and muffled.

"Rose? Are you alright?" His brow knitted into a worried frown.

"I-, um-," she said.

The Doctor opened the door to see Rose lying on her front, cuddling her pillow. Her head was turned to one side and she lifted it when she heard Doctor enter.

He perched on the side of the bed, by the pillow, and silently tucked strands of her hair behind her ear. Her face was streaked with tears, and her breathing was erratic. The Doctor put a hand on her side and stroked her until her sobs faded.

"Was it a nightmare?" he whispered.

"Yeah. It was my mum." She wiped her eyes. "Look at me, cryin' like an idiot."

"Hey, hey, don't say that! You're far from being an idiot, Rose, believe me. In nine hundred years of time and space, I can't think of many people who have been as compassionate and as clever as you," he said. Seeing Rose Tyler in distress was like watching a puppy die. He was sure he almost felt as awful as she did. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Rose thought for a second, and then shook her head.

"I understand," he said. He paused for a moment. "I'll stay with you tonight."

"Thank you, Doctor," she whispered, clearly grateful.

The Doctor went around to the other side of the bed and sat in the bed next to her. Rose turned over and rested her head on his chest as he cradled her body. He couldn't deny that he loved being so close to Rose. Trying to push a few stray inappropriate thoughts out of his head, he absently started to caress her thigh. She snuggled in further. He swallowed. He was suddenly very aware that Rose was practically sat on his lap and that his hand was close to an area where friends did not touch. He snatched it away and instead put it on her knee. Much safer there. He just hoped he could control himself. In the end, they dozed off to sleep - even the Doctor.