A/N: After updating my other story last night, I wanted to hurry and get this done. Luckily I didn't have much more to write!

I hope you enjoy the chapter.

Unwanted Turn

Chapter Four - Mistakes

Such a positive attitude was hard for Dean to maintain as the days went by. Seth not showing any signs of remembering his life was even harder, making it near-impossible to think positively. But Dean, as well as Roman and Kaitlyn, did their best to stay positive, or at least, not act negatively in front of Seth. The doctors and nurses told them that this will only worsen Seth's mental state, for he was both depressed and anxious about his inability to recall his memories. So smiles are what they wore, even if those smiles were difficult to make.

There was one small thing that did make the situation easier to cope with, however, and that was Seth's injuries beginning to heal. Dean still winced when he looked at the bruises and cuts inflicted on Seth's body, but at least they were fainter than they had been previously. According to the doctors, he'd only need to stay in the hospital for another two weeks, maybe less if he healed quickly. This knowledge made this event that little bit less upsetting, though of course, it still felt like going through torture for Dean.

'If it's torture for me, God knows what it's like for him,' he had thought to himself. 'What I'm going through can't be even half as bad. Knowing that he lived a life with us, one that was so happy but not being able to remember any of it… How does someone deal with that?'

It seemed like a miracle that he was dealing with it well. But, if the doctors said that he was depressed, maybe he did the same as Dean, Roman and Kaitlyn; put on a smile so they didn't become upset. That thought alone was enough to wipe the smile away from Dean's face.

And then, one week after the accident, there was much more than merely a thought wiping away that smile.

He had been trying his absolute best to control his anger, going as far as even focusing on his sadness so that the much more destructive emotion got in the way. But, it was hard for him to suppress said emotion.

"I'm sorry, but we haven't had any luck finding these guys," Renee had informed Dean that day. "We'll keep trying, but at the moment, I'm afraid we've been unsuccessful."

"Unsuccessful? What's so hard about finding some huge fucking thugs?"

Inside, he was already yelling, yelling at himself to stop as soon as he started because he knew as well as anyone that rage didn't solve anything at all. But it blinded him; something which rage did best.

Renee was glaring, but was obviously doing a much better job of controlling herself.

"Like I said, we'll keep trying. No one has had a good look at their faces so it's fairly difficult."

"What if they've already left by now? What if you weren't quick enough?"

"We have police in surrounding areas keeping an eye out. We'll get them, Dean, it just can't happen overnight."

"Well, let's hope that they're better at their jobs than you are," Dean snapped before he could stop himself. This was when Renee stopped holding herself back as much as she was.

"Listen, don't you dare criticise our work," she hissed. "We're good at what we do, but having someone as impatient as you shouting at us to do our job is only going to distract us. Stop being so harsh with us and get your head out of your ass, because guess what? This isn't your job, it's mine. Your job is to get in there and be the supportive partner you're supposed to be."

Dean nodded, knowing that she was right. Of course she was right; he knew he was wrong as soon as he opened his mouth to talk. He had to get his emotions under control, he knew that. It was just so difficult for him to.

"You're right, I'm sorry," he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm just so stressed about this and everything, so I guess anger is getting the better of me. That's no excuse though, I know. So I apologise."

"I'll let you off this one last time, but I won't take anything more off you, understand?"

"I do," Dean said. She nodded her head, before walking over to one of the doctors nearby. Another sigh escaped Dean's lips before he walked back into the hospital room, where Seth, Roman, and Kaitlyn were looking at him. Dean frowned when he saw the look of disappointment on Roman and Kaitlyn's faces.

"What's the matter? Did something happen?" he questioned.

"How can you be the same person?" Seth asked, catching Dean off guard.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, how can you be the same person in those photos? The same happy, fun person? Because I'm only getting the impression that you're someone who can't control their anger. It scares me, actually."

"I'm the same person, Seth," Dean said almost hopelessly, his heart sinking when Seth avoided eye contact.

"It doesn't seem like it. I'm sorry, Dean, but I don't understand how I ever loved you."

"Dean, wait!" Roman shouted after his best friend, who was briskly walking through the hallway of the hospital. Suddenly, the walls didn't seem so far apart. He needed air, and he needed it quickly. He thought he was going to faint otherwise. "DEAN!"

Roman had to jog to catch up to the surprising pace of Dean, and had no choice but to grip his arm tightly to get him to stop. He didn't let go when Dean had no choice but to stop, and turned the man around, not loosening his grip all the while.

"Dean, please, take a deep breath and calm down..."

"How can I be calm when my boyfriend just told me he doesn't know how he loved me?" Dean demanded, cursing at himself silently when he felt tears sting in his eyes. Never had he been so close to crying this amount of times. It only made him disappointed in himself. Tears showed weakness. He didn't want to be weak.

"You just need to show him why he loved you. You'll both get there."

"Yeah, maybe if a miracle happened. But I'm screwing this up, like I've done with everything else in my life, just like my mother said."

"You're not-"

"I am Roman, you know it, I know it, everyone knows it. I'm not running away from this, I just need some time alone and think this through, alright? Calm myself down and all that shit."

Roman nodded as he let go of Dean's arm. "Okay, I understand. Call me if you need me though, okay? I'm here for you man, like I always have been."

"I know," Dean said, curling his lips into what he hoped was a smile before he turned away and continued his walk out of the building. A couple of minutes later, he was in a taxi, his eyes staring out of the window. He had been so distracted by the overwhelming amount of thoughts in his head that he hadn't noticed when they arrived at his house. Startled out of his thoughts by the driver's voice, he mumbled an apology and gave the man his money before stepping out of the vehicle and into his apartment… No, his and Seth's apartment. Or at least, that was what it was supposed to be.

"Why did I even bother coming here?" Dean muttered to himself, the few happy memories he had of them spending their first few weeks in the apartment only bringing him sadness. Perhaps staying with Roman would have been a better idea after all. Unfortunately, he had already made the wrong choice.

He found himself walking over to the kitchen as he immediately started searching through the cupboards, cursing when all he could find was a tiny bit of vodka. He poured the remaining spirit into a glass, downing it in one gulp. His hands gripped onto both the glass and the bottle tightly. Everything had been going so well in life. He'd finally moved on from a traumatic childhood, met the person he knew was the one, got into an amazing college… And now the best thing in his life was taken away from him thanks to three pathetic, low-life thugs. They had took away his happiness for just a few belongings. They had ruined everything.

Before he even had a chance to stop himself, he threw the empty bottle against a wall. The loud shattering of the shards barely satisfied him. He needed more, something to distract him more than just a few drops of vodka and its broken bottle.

After checking that his wallet was in his pocket, he exited the apartment, locked the door and began walking back down the street. It was a good job that the pub was barely five minutes away.

It wasn't very busy, understandable on a Sunday. The woman behind the bar smiled when she looked up from the glass she was cleaning to see who was coming over.

"Your shift isn't until tomorrow, Dean."

"Yeah, I know, I've come for a whiskey."

She wanted to say something, but kept quiet. He thanked her when she poured a shot of whiskey for him, ignoring the raised eyebrow when he downed it far quicker than he should have, but she didn't comment, not even when he asked for another.

"Thanks, Paige," he said, once again downing the alcohol. The pale girl bit her lip, tapping the surface in front of her with her black fingernails.

"I'm guessing everything is pretty tough at the moment, huh?" she questioned, not wanting to stay quiet for any longer. Of course, she knew about what happened with Seth and had already given Dean her condolences. This was the first time, however, that she had seen Dean this way.

"I'd say," Dean laughed humourlessly. "There's him, who seems to be actually making an effort to stay positive. But then there's me, not even being able to control my anger and breaking down every five minutes."

"It's understandable though, I'd say. I mean, you are going through a lot."

"Yeah, but so is he. Him more than any of us. And yet, I still keep getting furious at the police even though they're not doing anything wrong. It's that which made him not see why he loved me."

"Bloody hell, I'm sorry," the woman said. "I'm sure he'll see in time though. I mean, from what I heard, you guys were pretty tight. That can't just disappear."

"Apparently, it can. Get me another one, will ya?"

The girl hesitated for a short moment before she poured the troubled man another drink. She had a dreaded feeling about where this was about to lead, and it turns out that her suspicions were right. It wasn't long before continuous shots left him very clearly drunk.

"I'm going to fucking kill those bastards who decided to touch my Seth," he slurred, slamming the glass down onto the bar. "I mean it. I'd do it. That's what they get for fucking ruining my life."

"Dean, maybe you should go home," Paige suggested, holding in a sigh.

"Home? It's not a home anymore, not when we got it together."

He turned to his side when he noticed a petite girl walking up to the bar, her eyes on Paige.

"Hey, maybe you could replace him," he said, obviously not meaning anything he said. The girl turned to look at him with a frown on her face. "You know, because he doesn't love or remember me anyway. Might as well have someone as pretty as you. What's your name, sweetheart?"

"Her name is AJ, and she's my girlfriend, so back off."

"Oh, I didn't realise you're a lesbian. My bad."

"I've just texted Roman, he's on his way to get you."

"How did you get his number?"

"Through Kaitlyn. He's not far; he was already on his way to your place."

"I don't want to go though, I'm having the time of my life! Pour me another one, eh?"

"I think you've had enough, Dean," Paige said, lowering her voice as she leant over the bar. "You're being a nuisance Dean. We're going to have to throw you out before Roman even gets here if you carry on."

"Where would I go then? Back to our apartment, being left worrying about everything again? Jesus, I haven't had a chance to forget about all of this until now, don't take that way from me."

"It's not even helping you forget, Dean! Alcohol isn't going to solve your problems, being a supportive boyfriend is the only thing you can do."

"I can't deal with myself either, it's why I came here in the first place."

"Dean, what the fuck are you doing?" an annoyed voice said from behind him.

"Ah, there you are," Dean said, looking at Roman and putting his arm around him. "You've missed the fun."

"Fun? You call this fun? You told me you needed time alone, not time to go the pub to try and drown your sorrows."

"This is working much better."

"Clearly," Roman said through gritted teeth as he grabbed onto Dean's arm. "Come on, I'm taking you home."

"It's not my fucking home! How the hell is it my home when it's supposed to be our home?"

"Dean, just come on."

"I'm not going back there, it's fucking driving me insane. I can't deal with any of this."

"You can't deal with this?" Roman demanded. "What about Seth? He's struggling too, you know. All he wants is to remember his life but he can't do that. And rather than think about how you can help him and be supportive, you're wasting time here instead. Hell, you're probably throwing away your job as well. It's pathetic Dean, it really is, that you would lie to your best friend and end up coming here. Stop acting like your father and-"

Roman didn't have the chance to finish his sentence due to a fist flying into his cheek. He held it, stunned, though his shock quickly grew to anger.

"Don't fucking bring up my father!"

"I'm sorry for bringing him up, but Dean, you need to stop this," Roman said, trying to keep his anger under control as he wiped away a few drops of blood from his mouth. "You're not helping anyone by acting this way."

"Fine, I'll go back, if that's what you want."

Roman nodded, not losing his grip on Dean's arm as he guided him through the gawking crowd. Dean shrugged the hand off his arm once they were walking down the street, but Roman knew that he had calmed down. When they arrived at Dean's apartment, Roman unlocked the door for him.

"I don't want to see you like this again," he said before he left. "I mean it, Dean. I don't know how you're going to keep your emotions under control and whether or not you should see a therapist. But what I do know is that you need to try. Seth isn't going to see the good side of you and realise why he loves you if you keep acting this way. So do whatever it takes to stop yourself from being this way, because otherwise, you truly are going to start losing people in your life."

Roman then slammed the door shut after him, not bothering to wait for a reply. Dean sighed deeply, running his hand through his hair.

'God, when am I going to stop fucking things up?'

A/N: I wasn't going to bother with an author's note, but then I remembered that I want to mention that I've started writing my novel again. Obviously as I have that and two fanfictions to write, updates may be fairly slow. Hopefully you bear with me!

Thanks for reading, and any reviews would be lovely.