Biotics II
2167 – Arcturus Stream/Euler/Benning/Camp Dolzer
A week later I began my training, and with this new phase of my life came a price. I made the decision to forsake the naïve girl named Eris, and transform into becoming the woman known as Shepard—which to this day seems more natural than my given name.
Zephyra instructed me to address her as Erasansi, a title granted to her by the High Order of Asari Commandos and only utilized in a biotics training setting. Erasansi roughly translates to 'master instructor of technique' or Drill Instructor by military standards.
I trained with my Erasansi every evening after school, and all day on weekends. Needless to say, playing with friends was not an option, but I didn't mind, I grew to be very comfortable with the structured environment the Erasansi provided, and she kept my mind occupied with concentration activities, obstacle courses, endurance training, and occasionally she would engage me with an asari's melding deep-mind game that strengthened my mental fortitude.
Focusing my mind on training my body was probably the most difficult thing to learn, and it was very exhausting, both physically and mentally. As a result of this biotic use, I discovered that my caloric intake increased as well to compensate for the spent energy. My Erasansi provided for this reality with her fortified-nutrition bars, a ration she was specifically provided from the Alliance, since asari spend more energy than humans in their homeostasis.
I was far better at telekinesis and spatial distortion than envelopment, and so my barriers did not last very long, much to my Erasansi's disappointment. She insisted that the barrier was the most important skill for a biotic, claiming that it would save my life whether I was running from danger or fighting back, or in some circumstances providing protection for others, and therefore necessitated its perfection.
She taught me the asari's art of meditation, which was not much unlike human meditation. The purpose of it was to train my mind on focusing biotics that enhance a higher level of connection with physics simultaneously disconnecting from the physical existence I knew—like everything else it was not an easy task. She even went so far as to research Far East human religious practices to assist me—apparently meditation was something that the asari teach their children from infancy, in order team them control over their emotions, thoughts, and biotics. I believe she had some difficulty separating her expectations from that of an asari child to me, a human child. Perhaps this was due to some of our physical similarities, at any rate, she maintained great patience with me, and if she was ever frustrated she never showed it. Through a logical lens of analysis, she would simply review our progress with me, and move to another technique if one did not seem to improve my performance sufficiently. She indicated more than once that she lamented that she did not meet me when I was younger, because of my age she had to teach me to break bad habits and replace them with biotic temperance.
I was a quick learn though—when she said jump I asked how high, and with great enthusiasm. I guess my military upbringing made it natural for me act out orders.
It was all very messy in the beginning, learning how to control my biotics with the physical mnemonics was a lot like figuring out how to control the very essence of life itself—a difficult task for an adolescent, mind you. Gradually though, I was able to gain enough mastery to do all sorts of little biotic tricks right in front of my mother without notice, things like pulling her coffee a couple inches from where she sat it down while she was reading a datapad.
Fine tuning of the biotics was a matter of practice after the basics were learned, for example, to throw a singularity first I had to imagine it, then arouse the biotics by drawing the energy from quadrants of my body and bringing it together by forcing it to one point. The technique I first learned to do this was by making a triangle with my hands at center mass, and when I felt the pressure build to the point the spinning was making me dizzy, I pushed it through my arms with my fingers drawn and directed it at a target. As I grew stronger, we had made a disaster of the warehouse my mother had arranged for us to train in.
We had been working together for about 4 years when my mother received orders that the Alliance was assigning the 4th Engineering Flotilla in the Attican Traverse, to provide a military presence in the systems while colonies and other human interests were being established. It was time for ship duty again, and honestly I was surprised that we were stationed at a post as long as we were.
I figured my Erasansi would likely be transferring with us, since she was an attachment to my mother's unit. In response to the receipt of these orders, she decided to take my training up a notch, and with our departure rapidly approaching, she prepared a 'field operation' to test my abilities.
One day after school, we jogged roughly 4 kilometers until we reached a clearing deep within a rocky ravine. "Shepard, you have come a long way from the nervous little biotic child that I met only a short time ago. Don't mistake my observation for an indication that you've become adept, but you are growing stronger each day." She stepped ahead of me to an area where several stones were piled neatly according to size, "I want to test your skills, and in order to do that we needed a little more freedom from the confines of the Alliance base. You will probably be injured if you do not use all of the skills that you have been practicing, so don't hold back. Our jog should have gotten your body warmed up. Take a moment to prepare yourself, then we will begin."
My heart jumped in my chest, she was multitudes more powerful with her biotics, and she wanted to test me…with the risk of injury. I couldn't believe it, I gasped a little, and having grown acutely aware of my body language over the years she noticed, and her eyes gave a smile that she hid behind her war face. I nodded to her in realizing that this was the real thing, and I closed my eyes to briefly meditate, mentally reviewing my biotic skills and what was required of them.
After several minutes had passed, the asari Erasansi must have realized that I was intentionally stalling the exercise, because she threw a stone in my direction to get my attention. When I opened my eyes, I saw her standing atop a large boulder, enveloped in the glow of biotics swirling and dancing around her.
I stood to my feet and released a short biotic flare of my own in return, letting her know that I was ready. In response, she released some of her energy to raise a stone, and waved her hand to cast it in my direction. 'What does she want? Am I supposed to catch it and throw it back?' I wasn't sure, so I just went with it, I released a micro singularity to catch the stone to launch it back in her direction with a throw. We volleyed back and forth like that with several small stones, and when I got comfortable with that exercise she introduced another challenge, with her biotics she picked up larger stone and launched it at me from the flank. My reflexes told me that I needed to duck, but she wanted to see my biotics, so I quickly went with my first thought and cast another throw from my right hand while throwing back the small stones with the left. My throw did not have enough energy behind it to stop the stone from coming at me, so I tried again, this time with both hands and I hurled a throw, casting the stone aside. Having focused on the large stone, I had lost concentration on the barrage of small stones that were being volleyed, and three of them hit me in the stomach before I put up my barrier to prevent the others from inflicting further damage.
I grunted at the impact of the small stones, knowing they would probably leave a bruise. My Erasansi shouted "You forgot your basics, Shepard, always keep up your barriers, especially when there's a chance you could get injured! Get yourself together and we will continue."
Through gritted teeth, embarrassed and disappointed in myself that I had forgotten the first rule, I snarled and flared to my Erasansi that I was ready. She gave a sinister smile before beginning the next barrage of testing.
She started with the volley of small stones at first, and I threw them back, just as with the first exercise, then when she prepared to flank with the larger stone, I knew my barriers were already up so I wouldn't be hurt by focusing my throw into the larger one, but if I let the small stones hit my barrier I the volley would be disrupted, so I set a 3 second singularity in the direction of the small stones to keep them airborne while I threw the larger stone back to the side, then turned back to my singularity and one at a time threw the small stones back to the Erasansi. We did that a couple times before she introduced something unexpected, I heard a rumble and noticed a large boulder rolling in my direction, shrouded by blue biotics.
"Shit!" I muttered to myself and I renewed my barrier, preemptively I began charging my singularity to protect myself from the barrage of small stones, and to give myself the opportunity to figure out how to manage this obstacle. Should I try to warp it, to break it into smaller, more manageable pieces? It was hard enough throwing a large stone, so I knew I couldn't lift it away. I was getting frustrated, this was above my skill level and she knew it. The boulder was rapidly approaching and so were the smaller stones. Without a plan I began to run, still throwing the stones back to the Erasansi, I was evading the rolling boulder.
I found a protruding rock and saw it as an opportunity to climb out of the way, but the boulder picked up the pace, my Erasansi discovering my plan and clearly wanting me to address the boulder. Despite her wishes, I knew my skills were too low to manage the boulder, so I ignored the pummeling small stones and directed my biotics to running as fast as I could, allowing the small ones to bounce off my barrier. I dropped a singularity behind me in hopes of slowing the boulder down so that I could get out of the way, but it did little if anything. My lungs began to burn, and I couldn't figure out how she me to stop this boulder, I was beginning to accept that it was definitely going to roll me down.
I was about 100 meters away from the protruding rock in the canyon wall, when I saw some loosely scattered large stones my Erasansi had gathered for this exercise. I knew I only had one shot to get this right, and I had let my barrier fall, so I had to put it back up and position myself in order to pull off this combo. I sprinted across to the other side of the canyon running between two ore protrusions, which the Erasansi would have to direct her boulder around to catch up to me, giving me enough time to recharge my barrier and get a clear shot of the large stones. With full concentration of my biotics I lifted them and threw them one at a time back at the boulder. Each impact slowed the pace of the boulder and forced the Erasansi to roll around the fallen stone. I was nearly out of stones when I finally reached the protrusion and leaped to grab ahold of it, pulling myself up and securing my position out of the reach of the boulder.
Panting, and feeling quite proud of my clever escape I looked to my Erasansi Her face was expressionless, but I heard beneath me that the boulder was still rolling, meaning I had still not completed the task. I felt my stomach tighten, and my nostrils flared "What does she want from me!?" I said to myself, but not loud enough for her to hear me.
I looked around to see what I could use against the obstacle, knowing that my biotics alone would not be sufficient to damage the boulder, and the large stones did very little to even slow it down. While I was regrouping I noticed that she had restarted the small stone volley, and so I threw them back with great frustration, because now I was distracted from finding a solution. We did that for a few moments when it occurred to me that in order to even get down from this position I would have to deal with the boulder. Suddenly, I had an idea, I had learned about biotic explosions resulting from combos, but I was forbidden from practicing them due to the secrecy of our training.
I figured I'm either going to fail this test or I'm going to kick its ass, I may as well give it all I've got. I took a deep breath, reinforced my barrier, put up a singularity to catch the small stones, then as I charged up a warp I also focused my biotics into my legs prepared to jump away from the explosion. When I felt that my warp was as strong as I could make it, I gritted my teeth and leaped out, turning back to hurl my warp into the singularity. It was like slow motion watching the blue energy charges implode, releasing a biotic shockwave in a radius that shook the protruding rock loose, crashing on top of my MI's boulder encasing it in rubble.
I didn't think to flare up my biotics to ease my fall, too preoccupied in watching the explosion that I had created, and so my ass slammed into the ground behind me. I immediately looked up to see if my Erasansi had begun to launch another volley of small stones to me, and when I realized she was walking toward me I let out a sigh of relief and my head fell back.
"Good job Shepard. You handled that quite well, though, if it were an actual fire fight, you'd be dead. I'm impressed that you thought back to your training with that detonation. You had me worried that my boulder had gotten the better of you." The Erasansi said, hovering over my exhausted body. She extended her hand to pull me to my feet, and I reached out in acceptance.
"Thank you, Erasansi. I'm pretty sure I will have a bruise or two from when you caught me with my barrier down." I told her, feeling my abs tighten just thinking about it.
"Yes, well next time you will remember." The asari wryly smiled.
My Erasansi took a seat on a boulder behind us, and glanced down to the spot beside her, indicating that I join her, so I did.
"Shepard, as you know, with the transfer orders from the 9Fourth, it is likely that you will be stationed aboard a space vehicle, and there you will no longer be able to train as we have over these years. This is unfortunate because there is still much that you have yet to learn. You have such potential to harness in refining your biotics into a force the galaxy would tremble at." She said with some melancholy.
"I'm sure we can figure out something, Erasansi?" I asked, assuming that because she was attached to the same unit that she would go with us.
"No Shepard, regrettably, my short tour of duty with the Alliance is also coming to an end. It is time for me to complete my reports and return to my people for another assignment." She paused for a moment and looked me squarely in the eyes, "Shepard, you must remain mindful that you are still vulnerable to the Alliance becoming aware of your biotics and unleashing horrors upon you. You have a strength within you, I recognize this spirit because it is the warrior's essence, I walk this path myself, and it will drive you to meet challenges and triumph over great odds. Over these next few years until you come of age, be careful with your biotics and your meditations, save these years of training for when you can make a life of your own choosing. I believe that is year 18 among humans."
I nodded, feeling a heaviness smothering my heart. If the fact that I couldn't practice my biotics any longer wasn't bad enough, I was having to say goodbye to my mentor, my trainer, and the most stable and constant person I'd had in my life besides my mother. I felt my face growing flushed, tears welling in my eyes, but I held them back, my Erasansi always harshly reprimanded me when I let my feelings get the better of me, it was contradictory to being an adept biotic—if I couldn't even govern my emotions, I could never hope to control my biotics.
"Don't fret Shepard, it has brought me great joy supervising your growth and development, and you are destined for great things, I'm certain of it. Bide your time, and enjoy these maiden years with your peers." The asari said consolingly, taking my hand she hesitated before continuing, "Shepard, if you're interested, I would like to give you something. As you're aware, when I join my mind with yours, we share a level of consciousness that enables me to guide you in training your mind to focus on your biotics."
I nodded, knowing that often times her guidance was the only thing that helped any of this make sense to me.
"The eva-visria is a sharing of memories, and traditionally asari practice this as a farewell gesture to those they care about. Shepard, instead of focusing on your mind and body for the biotics, I will open my own mind to show you an experience from my memory. I want you to see my home world and feel the warmth of her beauty that marks my heart." She paused for a moment, "Will you accept?"
The asari mind meld never made much sense to me, as it was a completely foreign concept to humans, and I didn't really know the depth of it except for the condensed summary my Erasansi had told me in order to help me understand the means through which she was giving me guidance. Through the melds, she was very directive, and never transmitted anything personal from her mind aside from exemplary instruction. I wasn't scared of the process, I had grown used to the weirdness of having my nervous system invaded by the gentle presence of the otherwise stern Commando, and it would have been greatly insulting to decline her gesture.
"Yes, Erasansi. I would be honored." I said, softly.
She smiled and sat down on the ground in her meditation posture, and I joined her, as I had done hundreds of times. "Shepard, this will be vastly different, but try to focus. Embrace eternity." she said, as her consciousness connected with mine.
I felt her familiar presence joining with my own and the confidence that she emitted while navigating my mind. Even though she told me to prepare for something unfamiliar, I was only used to allowing her to access my own mind and my biotics, so I didn't know how to be ready for anything else. My mind went forward into the opening that she created for me, and I felt her sensations, sitting there in front of me, and her feelings for the me as her protégé while she prepared to disclose her intention. It was more than a memory, it was a full-body experience, like stepping into someone else's mind, body, and soul, to relive the past and share the present in a reciprocal folding of time itself. I smelled the memory of the fragrant Thessian breeze and felt how it filled her lungs. I could see the crimson sky of an evening sunset and feel the rays of the sun cast upon her skin. I even felt the emotions that spread from her heart of being in her home. Suddenly, I found something that I recognized in her feelings and memories, that she was also raised in space, just as I was, and I am sharing her memory of her first experience on her home world. Then I felt a longing to see Earth, my own home world that I had never seen. She sensed this through the meld and offered feelings of empathy and compassion Your day will come, young one, and it will be just as incredible for you as it was for me. It has been a privilege to have spent this time with you, and I will think of you. You are my mea're, a sister of my tribe. May the Goddess guide you, and grant you wisdom. She broadcast telepathically through the strangest sensation I can best describe, I could feel the words before she even spoke them and I felt a pang in my heart, because I was already missing her.
With that she slowly disconnected the meld and stood up. I was still sitting there, completely overwhelmed by the experience and still reeling myself in from the intensity, when she reached her hand down to me once again to help me up. I looked up to her, knowing for sure this would be the last time I would ever see her, tears welled in my eyes and I took a deep breath, placing my hand in hers and allowing her to help me back to my feet.
"Come along Shepard. I am certain your mother anxiously awaits to hear about your biotics test." My Erasansi said with a smile, as she began to take off in a jog back to the base. I followed behind watching her move with powerful grace, admiring the essence of her battle prowess and strength of character. I was thankful that she saw the potential in me.