I could have laughed at their expressions but I kept my eyes on Levi. He obviously didn't approve, though he knew I wouldn't relent. After everything they'd done to Eren, no matter how much they justified it, it didn't sit right with me. One night of normalcy wouldn't hurt anyone. The silence continued, everyone around us looking extremely uncomfortable.

"I'll keep an eye on him," Levi spoke, conceding.

I smiled, overjoyed that, for at least one night, I'd get to take care of Eren and his friends. The carriage arrived to take us home. Levi and I sat on one side and Eren, Armin, and Mikasa squeezed into other side. I pretty much carried the conversation, answering their questions about the capital. The only way I knew Levi was listening was when he set his hand on my knee, rubbing a circle with his thumb.

In the house, Levi left us to go fix up the spare bedrooms. The large one in the basement would be for Armin and Eren, and Mikasa could use the one on the main floor. They seemed uncomfortable, not sure what to do. How long had been since they'd been in a real home? Of course, I made them wash up before I asked them, "Could you boys set the table?"

Mikasa joined me in the kitchen, still acting like she was holding her tongue. Finally, as she chopped the carrots for the roast, she spoke, keeping her voice low. "Why are you doing this?"

Her question caught me off guard. "I…" My mind couldn't get a coherent answer before she spoke again.

"Eren doesn't need you. Whatever pity you feel for him and us is wasted energy. We don't want your charity," Mikasa said, giving me a hateful look. She wanted to protect Eren, which was understandable. From what I'd gathered, she and Eren were as close as siblings, but her feelings went beyond that. I could see all that. But it didn't make it hurt any less.

I only faltered for a moment. Straightening up, I nodded. "It's only for one night." The roast would take a while to cook so I ordered them to go clean up and get into clean clothes. "If Levi asks, I had to check on some work at the lab."

Outside my house, I pressed the heels of hands into my eyes. Sinclair's don't cry. We deal with heads held high. I shouldn't let this bother me. Eren isn't my child… I shouldn't become so… invested… But I wanted to. In my lab, the bottle of gin in the cabinet appealed to me more and more the longer I stared at it. My mother had taught me to hold my liquor but none of that mattered to me. One drink after another, the reason I'd been so upset began to fade away.

"Doctor's shouldn't drink so much," Charlie said, running around his cage happily. His little feet were so small. Pit pat. Pit pat.

I sat up on my knees, setting the bottle on the ground. "You're so smart, Charlie. I'm glad your leg healed." Watching him run around his cage, I hummed.

"Kerstin," Levi's voice came from the doorway. He wore a concerned expression. "What are you doing?" His eyes fell on the bottle, causing him to frown. He never gets drunk. Sucks for him.

"Charlie says I drank too much, but he's a rat so what does he know." I shrugged from my spot on the floor.

"It's dead."

Slowly, I turned my head back to the cage. "Oh…" Charlie's body laid sideways on the bottom, but decomposing quickly. Steam rose from all around. "You're right." My chest heaved and I covered my face with my hands. "Charlie's dead." My little Charlie. He greeted me every morning. He was so intelligent. "He made me happy."

"I know, Kerstin. It'll be okay." Levi knelt in front of me. "Let's go home."

I threw my arms around his neck and cried. "You make me happy too."

"Well you are marrying me."

"I'm scared you'll die too. I don't want that. Don't leave me." I cried just thinking about it. What if he never came home?

He rubbed my back, holding me tightly. "I'm not going anywhere, Kerstin. Let me take you home." When I agree, Levi picked me up with little effort. We were practically the same height. Neither of us spoke on the way back to the house.

My eye lids became so heavy that I couldn't keep them open. The reason I'd drank so much still alluded me. In the morning, I would remember. Maybe by then, the reason wouldn't be so bad and I could move on. Only being half awake, the conversation between Levi and Eren didn't register in my brain.

An eternity later, I woke up in bed, still in the dress I'd put on for the trial. Levi hated the dull task of changing clothes for bed because he never stayed long. Two to three hours of sleep was all he usually got. But when my eyes fluttered open, Levi had his arm around my waist and his chin rested on my shoulder. I thought he might be awake, but his breathing was slow and even.

Tracing my fingers around on his arm, I sighed softly. My one wish was that we could stay this way. It wasn't possible. Levi wouldn't give up his job until the titans were eradicated and even then, I had a nagging feeling he wouldn't quit the scouts. My work kept me just as busy, but I'd give it all up for a normal life. Though, I knew it wouldn't become a reality. Neither of us were normal people. Our jobs were too important to abandon for our own wants.

A girl can dream, can't she?

As quietly as I could, I untangled myself from Levi. No reason to wake him up. The house was silent and cold. Shivering, I gathered my papers from the study and took them down to the living room. The fire still crackled, but the flames were gone. Thankfully, Levi had brought in more firewood.

Two logs gave enough light and warmth for me to sit down and spread my papers out on the floor. Charlie's leg had regenerated so something had gone right. Then, he died, which was not good. These reports had been given to me by a colleague who had been watching Charlie for me during the trial. Why had it taken so long for him to die? Almost a full day. There was also the issue of titan-like steam coming from his body.

I took my notepad and pencil for my own notes and began to write down my questions and reasoning out a plausible guess for the answer. Obviously, the serum equation was wrong. I'd need more blood. Maybe Hange would have some helpful experience through her research with the titans.

Taking a break, I went downstairs to check on Eren and Armin. They were both sound asleep but the blanket Eren had was laying on the floor. I covered him up, smiling a little. "From now on, life is going to get very complicated, but I'll be here for you, even though the world is against you," I whispered, brushing my hand through his hair. The longing for a child of my own tugged at my heart, though I knew that it wouldn't be anytime soon.

Returning to my spot on the floor by the fireplace, I poured myself into my work. Nothing had felt this important me in a long time. Translating another page of notes, a hand fell on my head.

"Take a break," Levi said.

My legs ached from being on the hard floor for so long. Stretching my arms over my head, I looked back at him. "When did you get up?" The coffee table had three small piles of reports and two cups of steaming tea. How did I not notice that he'd come in.

"A while ago. You were concentrating so hard that I didn't want to disturb you, but it's been over an hour. A break will do you good," Levi said, sinking into the couch.

Sitting next to him, I blew on the hot tea. It still escaped me how to make a cup of tea the right way, but Levi never complained about it. If I'd made some, he'd drink it. Sipping on the brew in my hands, my attempts were subpar. Tea couldn't taste anymore perfect. Levi's silence said a lot. "I'm not going to change my mind."

"Kerstin."

"Levi."

Levi took the cup out of my hands and set it back on the table. "You're too stubborn for you own good," he said, giving me a disapproving look.

I laughed, even though I knew he was serious. Tension rose the room. "Levi, I'm going." If I had to repeat it for the rest of the night, I would. There was no chance of me deciding to stay behind while he and Eren leave. My place in society might be among the elites of the capital, but my heart and passion laid in the field.

Levi sighed heavily. "I figured you'd say that." Before I could blink, he was on top of me, looking down at me with a ghost of a smile. "What am I going to do with you?" Without waiting for me to answer, he lowered his head to kiss me. He worried about me whenever he left and that could only mean that this excursion, taking me outside the wall, only heightened his worry.

His kisses moved down to my neck, giving me air and the chance to reply. "This isn't my first time outside of the walls," I said, laughing a little.

"Yes, I remember a very stupid girl masquerading as a scout to get a flower from beyond the walls. You almost died." He lifted his head to look at me. Though it wasn't the first time we'd met, it was the first time we'd ever had to learn more about each other. So, I considered it the first time we truly met.

"Do you know what I remember from that?" I asked, reaching my hand up into his messy hair. When he didn't answer, I continued. "I remember a very stubborn man who left the mission to accompany me to find the flower that saved a little boy's life. I remember the late nights that were spent in silence because neither of us would give in. And I remember for the first time in my life, meeting someone who didn't care that I was a Sinclair and didn't treat me like it. It might have been stupid to leave the walls, but I don't regret it, not for a second. I wouldn't trade those nights with you for anything in the world."

"Nothing is a guarantee outside of the walls. Promise me you won't do anything as reckless as you did back then." Levi said, capturing my lips again. His hands roamed down my sides, tickling me a little. The lower he went, the harder it was to contain my moans. "You're going to wake those brats up." Levi slipped a hand between my legs.

I bit back a moan. "Then maybe we shouldn't be doing this on the couch."

"This'll be the last time we're in this house for a while. Let's not waste it on work." Levi replied and continued his exploration of my body.

Levi had never been one to talk about how much loved me. It was in his actions that it showed. Tomorrow would bring a whole new world of uncertainty and trials. It all seemed so distant in this moment. Right now, it was just Levi and me. Not Captain Levi Ackerman. Not Doctor Kerstin Sinclair. Simply two people who loved each other. Again, the longing for things to stay this way swept over me. I pushed it aside. Focus on the now. Living in this hellish world became easier when I allowed myself to let Levi take control and keep me safe. Together, we were a force to be reckoned with. Outside the walls, there would be little time to ourselves, so I savored the moments of tonight.