A/N: I sort of love this chapter.
Chapter 4:
"Sam, guess who epically saved me from another horrible slushie attack?" Kurt said dramatically, the moment he and Rachel reached Sam where he was sitting on the bleachers.
"Spiderman?" Sam asked, pretending to look hopeful.
Kurt rolled his eyes. "No, not spiderman. Although while we're on the topic, did you know there's actually spiderman comic book porn?"
Sam pursed his lips and looked at the ground. "...No..."
Kurt shook his head. "You have a serious problem, you know that, right?" he said, smiling.
Sam hung his head. "Yeah, I know..."
"Anyways," Kurt continued. "Rachel was the one doing the epic saving. She stuck her foot out and tripped the would-be slushier. He fell and got it got all over him."
Rachel blushed. "Well, it wasn't that epic..."
Sam smiled at her. "It sounds pretty epic. What would we do without you, Rachel?"
"Well, I imagine the Glee club would be lost, and Kurt would be sticky."
Kurt decided not to say anything. She had saved him after all.
"So, we going to Chant tonight?" Sam asked, taking a bite of his sandwich. He smiled a little as Kurt and Rachel pulled out identical looking salads.
Kurt chewed on a lettuce leaf. "Maybe. What are Quinn and Kate doing?"
"Whose Kate?" Rachel asked, putting salad dressing on her salad. Sam noticed that each container she had was carefully labeled with it's contents. He wondered how much free time Rachel had.
Kurt darted his eyes around, and was about to answer when Sam cut in. "She's a friend of ours, and Quinn's."
Rachel nodded. "Oh."
Kurt remembered what Rachel had said about Finn eating with Quinn. He wished he could tell her about Kate, but he had witnessed the wrath of Quinn first hand and did not want to bring it on himself.
"Chant is a karaoke bar." Sam said already regretting mentioning it. The whole fun of Chant was being able to sing with no one judging you. Rachel wore judgment on her sleeve like a badge of honor.
"Oh." Rachel said again. Kurt looked like he was about to invite her to go with them and Sam shot him a look.
Kurt made a pouting face back and pointed to Rachel, then mimed crying.
Sam shook his head. Kurt continued to stare at him with a pouting expression. Sam was not going to let it affect him. It didn't bother him at all. He could watch Kurt's lower lip tremble forever and it would never even get to him…
Sam sighed. "Hey Rachel, want to come with us tonight, to the uh, karaoke bar?"
Curse his lack of resolve.
Rachel looked like she'd been told christmas was coming early. Or, Chanukah.
"Oh, well I guess my Dads won't mind if I miss Shabbat dinner this once. And it's not like we're even religious, its really just Friday night dinner, they only call it that so my Bubby won't think we're turning into goyim.*"
"Ok, uh cool." Sam said, wondering if Rachel was speaking english.
"So, we can pick you around 6, if thats all right?" Kurt said, beaming.
Rachel nodded. "What kind of music do people usually sing there?"
Sam shrugged. "I dunno, anything, everything. Classic rock, hip hop, show tunes...theres a guy who always sings Katy Perry."
Kurt snorted. "I think 'sings' is a pretty loose term for describing what he does to Katy Perry."
Rachel frowned. "Do people ever get booed?"
"If anyone was getting booed, it would be that guy but no." Sam said, shaking his head. "Everyone cheers for him. It's not about being good, its about having fun."
Rachel thought about that for a little while, quietly munching on her salad. Sam guessed that the idea of singing for no reason but fun was a difficult concept for her to grasp.
"For the record, I predict this evening goes badly." Sam said, and they pulled into Rachel's driveway.
"Noted. For the record, I think you are wrong." Kurt said, smoothing down his white wool-cashmere sweater.*
"You just wanted to invite her because you're grateful that she saved your outfit."
"Um, no. I invited her for a plethora of reasons." Kurt said indignantly. "She and I have the potential to potentially be good friends, and she seems to have none. Not to mention, I don't have many girlfriends anymore either. Mercedes and I have grown apart and I'd like someone to talk about girl things with."
"What about Kate?"
Kurt raised his eyebrow. "Kate might as well be a boy. She has the fashion sense of one."
"Yes and Rachel is just a fashion icon."
"So it's not perfect, but why don't you just give her a chance?" Kurt pleaded.
Sam sighed. "I will. I am. I just, if she makes one comment critiquing anyone's singing. That's it."
Kurt crossed his arm. "Fine. If that happens, we won't be friends. Whatever."
Sam stared at him. "What? No. That is not what I'm saying. If you want to be her friend, fine. Great even, I want you to have as many friends as you want. I meant I don't want to invite her back to Chant if she can't turn off her Rachel Berryness for a few hours. I would never tell you who to be friends with. And I agree, Rachel and you seem to have a lot in common, that's why I went to her when I didn't know what was up with you."
"...Oh." Kurt said quietly. "Oops?"
"HI GUYS!" A shrill voice outside the car said suddenly. Sam jumped and clutched his chest, and Kurt's eyes went wide.
"Sweet Judy, Marilynn and Barbra, Rachel you scared the living daylight out of me." Kurt exclaimed, trying to catch his breath.
"Sorry!" Rachel said, climbing into the car. "I'm just excited. I'm so looking forward to singing just for the fun of it. No pressure, no one trying to prove their better than me, just song for song's sake!"
"Oh, really?" Kurt said, looking at Sam, who hung his head. "Well, that is dandy."
"Ok, ok. Let's go..." Sam mumbled, backing the car up.
"So...umm...is Quinn coming?" Rachel asked, much more quietly now.
Kurt shrugged. "I don't know. I figured if she's there, she's there. If not, it'll just be us."
Rachel nodded. "Ok. Is it wrong if I hope she's not there?"
"Yes. You're a terrible person." Sam deadpanned. Kurt smacked him and Sam swerved the car. "Watch it!" He exclaimed. "I have your life in my hands, don't forget."
"You're not terrible Rachel, it's completely understandable. Quinn and you have a history of badness. She was never very nice to you, and she's beautiful-" Kurt began.
"In a traditional, vanilla kind of way." Sam interjected.
"Exactly. And now she's talking to your boyfriend, who she also used to date. I completely understand any negative feelings you have towards her. But let me reassure you; nothing is going on with her and Finn."
"You don't know that." Sam and Rachel said at the same time.
"Sam!" Rachel and Kurt said at the same time.
"What?" Sam said. By himself.
"Yes I do know that. Because Finn wouldn't do that." Kurt said, narrowing his eyes on Sam.
"But what if Quinn like, seduces him or something? It wouldn't be that hard. I practically did it."
Kurt very much doubted Rachel had ever seduced anyone in her whole life. "I'm sure Quinn wouldn't do that."
"But you don't know that." She cried.
"Rachel, calm down." Sam said. "You're right, we don't know anything for sure, but in our personal opinions, we do not believe Finn would do that to you. He loves you."
"And besides, Quinn has debitchified a lot lately. I think having her boyfriend dump her for another guy was the best thing that could have happened to her." Kurt said cheerfully.
Sam smirked. "Yeah, she owes me a lot."
Rachel didn't say anything, so Kurt continued. "Now, we are going to go to Chant, we are going to sing songs and eat nachos and everything will be wonderful. Understood?"
"Ok." Rachel said.
"Nachos? We're eating nachos?" Sam asked excitedly. Kurt shrugged.
"Why not?"
"Yay!" Sam said excitedly. "Rachel can order them. She and Bruce will get a long famously."
When they arrived at the club, they sent Rachel over to the bar and took a table near by so they could watch.
Sam felt like cackling. "That'll teach that bartending douche bag to hit on my boyfriend."
Kurt looked startled. "When did he hit on me?"
"When we first came here. He was practically drooling over you. He called you dollface twice." Sam grumbled. He watched Rachel take her time staring at the menu, while Bruce the bartender impatiently tapped his fingers on the bar.
"He was hitting on me?" Kurt mused. He looked flattered.
"Yes, and I have plotted his demise ever since. Today, I exact revenge." Sam said, gesturing to Rachel. She was now pointing to the menu and speaking very rapidly. Bruce did not look happy. Sam was thrilled.
"I'm moving closer, I want to be able to hear." Sam said, standing up.
"You're like a child, you know that right?" Kurt said, rolling his eyes but sounding amused.
Sam snuck over and crouched behind a table near the bar.
"I'm a vegan, so when you make the nachos can you not put any cheese or meat products on half of the nachos? And they can't come in any container that has ever come into contact with meat. And where do you make the nachos?" Rachel was saying, staring at Bruce with extreme intensity.
If looks could kill, Rachel Berry would very, very dead. Bruce looked like he wanted to throttle her.
"I make the nachos in a nachos maker." He said, grinding his teeth.
"A nacho maker? Not a deep fryer, or oven or some other appliance with multiple uses?" She questioned, raising her eyebrow.
"Nope." He said, his lips pressed tightly together. "Just nachos. I'll go get them for you."
"Wait, I'm not done. You're absolutely sure that no meat has ever been in the appliance you make the nachos in, right? And make sure that no cheese seeps into vegan half of the nachos, because then they will all be contaminated. Perhaps you can place some sort of divider between them-"
"Will do." Bruce said, disappearing behind the kitchen door before Rachel could continue speaking.
Once he was gone, Sam popped up from his hiding spot, laughing hysterically. He went and stood next to Rachel.
"Well he's not very friendly now, is he?" Rachel said.
Sam smiled. "Oh no, he is. You just need to get him to open up. When he comes back, ask more questions. About the the club and stuff. Anything. Ask him about his love life. Ask him if he think dolphins should have equal rights to humans." Sam said, a glint in his eye.
Rachel looked at him skeptically. "Did he offend you in some way?"
"He hit on Kurt in front of me. He needs to pay."
Rachel nodded. "Got it. He's coming back, go back to your hiding spot."
"That'll be $8.45" Bruce said, slamming the nachos on the counter. Rachel took out the money Sam had given her and paid him.
"Thank you. Have you been working here long?" Rachel asked, trying to look innocent. Sam tried to hold back a chuckle.
"Since it opened." Bruce said, his eyes willing Rachel to die.
"Oh, well this is my first time here. I was wondering if I could ask you some questions?"
"that's not really my jo-"
"Good." Rachel said, a million watt smile on her face. "So, how does the karaoke work? Who do I tell what song I'll be singing? What variety of song is available? Is it all current music, or classic songs? Who owns this place? Do you know them? Are they nice? I bet they're nice. I can't imagine someone mean would want to work in a karaoke bar." She paused here, giving Bruce a pointed look.
"You seem angry." Rachel obsered. Angry was an understatement. "Do you have a girlfriend? Maybe you should consider getting one, that way you would have someone to share you're anger with. Companionship is extremely important. Don't you think? Speaking of companionship, what's your stance on legalizing marriage between dolphins, because I-"
"ENOUGH!" Bruce screamed, slamming his hand down on the table. "I will not listen to this anymore. Here." Bruce said, shoving the money she had just given him back into her hands. "Here's your money back. I don't want your business, I don't want you here. Leave, just go."
"So you're not a fan of dolphins?" Rachel asked, tilting her head to the side.
Sam couldn't help it anymore. He was laughing hysterically, and he stood up. Bruce's face was redder than Sam had thought a human face could get. He looked like at any minute, steam was going to pour from ears with a loud kettle sound.
"Come on Rachel, before he breaks something." Sam said, putting his arm around Rachel and leading her away from the bartender, who was sputting angrily, trying to figure out Sam's involvement in what happened.
When they got back to the table, Kurt was not alone. He had been joined by Cameron and Kate.
"Hey, Rachel annoyed Bruce into giving her free nachos." Sam said, placing the nachos on the table.
"Nice one." Kate said, holding up her hand to Rachel for a high five.
"Ummm," Rachel said, looking at Kurt.
"Right, Rachel these are our friends Kate and Cameron." Kurt said.
"Oh, Kate. Nice to meet you." Rachel said. She took a seat next to Cameron, and he smiled at her widely.
"Are you Rachel Berry?" Kate asked, looking very interested. "I have heard so much about you from Qu-" She began, but stopped when she saw Kurt shaking his head. "Kurt. Kurt's told me a lot about you. Love the sweater." She said honestly.
"Thanks." Rachel said. "Isn't that Quinn's shirt?"
Kate was wearing the low-cut leather vest she had leant to Quinn for an assignment for Glee they had done a while ago. "Uhh…"
"Um, I asked Kate if Quinn could borrow it for Glee." Kurt said quickly, wearing his "trying not to panic" face.
"Oh, ok." Rachel said. "So, how does this work?" Rachel asked, gesturing around her.
"I'll show you." Kurt said, taking Rachel over to the sign up sheet.
"Sign me up too!" Sam called after them. He turned to Kate. "No Quinn tonight?"
Kate shook her head. "She had a family thing."
"What about Matt?"
"Hot date with Johnny." Kate said with a grin.
"Nice." Sam said. He'd met Johnny once, and thought he seemed nice enough. Quiet though.
"So, it's just me and Katie here." Cameron said, slinging his arm around Kate. She blew a kiss to him.
"Nice. What are you going to sing?"
"'Lola' by the Kinks." Kate said happily.
"'Atlantic City', Springsteen. You?"
Sam grinned. He'd decided to sing this song on Thursday. "The Smiths."
"Nice." Kate asked.
Before he could tell them which song, Kurt was back, and Sam wanted to surprise him with his song. "Where's Rachel?" Sam asked.
Kurt pointed to the stage, answering Sam's question.
Rachel stood in the middle of the stage with a huge smile on her face, and Sam heard the opening notes of "Girls just want to have fun" begin to play. Rachel bopped and shook her hips to the music.
I come home in the morning light,
My mother says "When you gonna live your life right?"
Oh,mother,dear,
We're not the fortunate ones,
And girls,
They wanna have fu-un.
Oh,girls,
Just wanna have fuuuuuun.**
Kurt moved along to the music and Kate cheered. Sam noticed a lot of people singing a long. Rachel was very entertaining. At the parts with no lyrics, she jittered around and did some very Tiffany-esque dance moves with her arms. Sam couldn't help from smiling. She certainly looked like she was having fun.
When the song ended, a few people stood up and cheered and Sam heard someone whistle. Rachel bowed and left the stage. When she came back to the table, her face was flushed with excitement. Kurt hugged her, and Kate offered her hand for another high five. This time, Rachel didn't leave her hanging.
"Rachel you were stupendous!" Kurt exclained. Rachel smiled.
"Thank you. I know." She added. "It's your turn now." She said to Kurt.
Kurt gave Sam a quick kiss on the lips and sauntered towards the stage.
"I love watching him sing..." Sam said dreamily. He watched the stage and smiled when Kurt appeared on it. He loved how natural Kurt looked up there, like he was born on a stage.
When the music started, Sam didn't recognize the song, but it was immediately obvious why Kurt had chosen to sing it. Kate and Cameron got funny looks on their faces.
Oooh, oh man, oooh
Telegram Sam, Telegram Sam, you are my main man
Golden Nose Slim, Golden Nose Slim
I know's where you been oh
Purple Pie Pete, Purple Pie Pete
You're lips are like lightning girls melt in the heat, yeah
Telegram Sam you're my main man
Telegram Sam you're my main man
Oh, ooh
"Is he singing 'T-Rex'" Kate said, laughing.
Cameron nodded. "I can't believe Dan has T-Rex on karaoke."
"I think my Mom has one of their CD's..." Sam said, staring at Kurt.
Bobby's alright, Bobby's alright
He's a natural born poet, he's just outta sight
Jungle faced Jake, jungle faced Jake
I say make no mistake about jungle faced Jake, Jake
Telegram Sam you're my main man
Telegram Sam you're my main man
Oooh, Samson and Christoph, what a pair!
"Is it weird that I am incredibly turned on by my boyfriends cover of a mediocre british folk rock group from the 60's?" Sam asked, mesmerized by Kurt's awesomeness.
"Shut your mouth." Cameron said. "'Jeepster' is amazing."
"'Children of the Revolution' is an anthem." Kate added.
"'Get it on' is an excellent song to work out to." Rachel concurred.
Sam barely heard them. He wasn't really hearing anything, actually. He didn't even notice that Kurt had stopped singing was making his way back to the table. He was much too busy all the terrible things he planned on doing to Kurt the second he got him alone.
"You ok?" Kurt asked, waving a hand in front of Sam's blank face. Sam snapped out of it at the sound of Kurt's voice. He grinned and threw his arms around Kurt, and pulled him onto his lap.
"You are the world's most incredible singer and performer, you know that right?" He said, closing his mouth securely around Kurt's. Kurt sighed happily in response.
"I love them." Kate said, watching them happily. "They're walkin' talkin' yaoi."
Cameron rolled his eyes, trying not to stare at the two boys unabashedly sticking their tongue's down each other's throats in front of him. "Why is it you only thing guys are hot when they're making out with each other?"
Kate shrugged. "Cuz it's the only time they are?"
Kurt pulled his mouth away from Sam's for a moment and turned to Kate. "Don't objectify me." he said, before turning back to Sam and resuming their necking. A moment later, Rachel tapped them on the shoulder.
"Um, I think it's Sam's turn." Rachel said, pointing to the empty stage.
"Oh right." Sam said, standing up. Kurt whined as he dropped off his lap. Sam kissed him on the cheek and smiled before walking to the stage.
He went backstage where Dan the manager was sitting at his computer, typing at light speed. "Hey Dan."
"Hello Sam. What song will you be singing?" He asked, not ever slowing his typing speed.
Sam told him and Dan entered in into his computer. "Can you wait until I give you a thumbs up before starting, it I sort of wanted to say something before."
Dan nodded. "Sure. But we have a rule." Dan said, pointing to a sign on the wall. It read "All professions of love must be kept under 5 minutes." Sam laughed.
"You laugh now, but its a real problem around Valentine's Day."
Sam went out onto the stage. "Um, this song is dedicated to someone very special to me, who probably know who they are. If not, we have a problem." He said. A few people laughed. "Um, we've been having a tough time with some stuff recently, and I wanted to let him know that no matter what, I'm there for him."
A few people cheered and whooped, and he thought he heard someone yell "Yaoi!"
He gave Dan a thumbs up. And the song started.
Take me out tonight
where there's music and there's people
who are young and alive
driving in your car
I never never want to go home
because I haven't got one anymore
Take me out tonight
because I want to see people
and I want to see life
driving in your car
oh please don't drop me home
because it's not my home, it's their home
and I'm welcome no more
And if a double-decker bus
crashes in to us
to die by your side
is such a heavenly way to die
and if a ten ton truck
kills the both of us
to die by your side
well the pleasure, the privilege is mine
Sam looked intently at Kurt as he sung, and even though Kurt was at the back of the club, he thought he looked like he was about to cry.
Take me out tonight
take me anywhere, I don't care
I don't care, I don't care
and in the darkened underpass
I thought Oh God, my chance has come at last
but then a strange fear gripped me
and I just couldn't ask
Take me out tonight
oh take me anywhere, I don't care
I don't care, I don't care
driving in your car
I never never want to go home
because I haven't got one
no, I haven't got one
At this point, Kurt began making his way to the stage.
And if a double-decker bus
crashes in to us
to die by your side
is such a heavenly way to die
and if a ten ton truck
kills the both of us
to die by your side
well the pleasure, the privilege is mine
There is a light that never goes out
There is a light that never goes out
There is a light that never goes out
There is a light that never goes out
Sam finished the song and turned around, only to have Kurt throw his arms around him and kiss him in front of the entire club.
Sam kissed him back, not caring that an entire club full of people now knew he was gay (though they may have figured that out beforehand). All he cared about was the person in his arms, and never letting him go.
*Shabbat Dinner: It's a long story, but basically Shabbat lasts from sundown Friday night to sundown Saturday night and its a time for celebration and prayer. Most non religious jews just light a candle and have dinner. I think thats what Rachel does.
Bubby: A jewish grandmother.
Goyim: non jewish folk.
I crammed a ton of judaism into that one paragraph, huh? Record!
**Can anyone else not believe that Glee hans't done this song already?Kurt's white sweater can be seen on my profile now.
Sam's song is "There is a light that never goes out" by the Smiths and its beautiful. If you don't know it, listen to it now!