A/N: I just wanted to say thank you for the reviews I've been getting, it gives me more confidence when I write! They've all been positive so far which is great, it really makes me smile! If you don't like the way I do something please tell me, I am happy to write in the girls' POV if you want that or if you're happy with the way it's written just now, that's fine.
Chapter 4 will be posted within the next 2 days since I don't really have a busy week this week. Again, sorry if there are any mistakes, I always correct them a while after I've written a chapter, I seem to spot them better that way. Anyway I hope you like this chapter, I spent like half of my day on this and it's my longest chapter yet! So, onto the story :)
Emily and Hanna spent the day together watching movies as they did most Sunday's when Emily wasn't working. The loved Spencer and Aria but they loved each others company the most, they never felt the need to always talk, sometimes they would just lay and enjoy the peaceful quietness between them. Hanna would always let Emily have her own way, Emily had that power of Hanna. She knew she could get her to do almost anything with enough persuasion and begging.
"I wish we could do this everyday" Hanna sighed.
"Me too, Han. Can you imagine how great it would be? Although it wouldn't be healthy at all sitting on our asses all day doing nothing but eating" Emily laughed.
"It's not fair" Hanna moaned.
"Life isn't fair" Emily groaned.
Hanna looked directly at Emily while she watched TV, taking in everything about her appearance. The way her hair flawlessly sat on her shoulders, the way she could pull any outfit off, even sweat pants, Emily looked amazing in them. Hanna adored Emily more than anything. Emily turned her head to meet Hanna's eyes and Hanna's cheeks slightly blushed as she got caught.
"What are you looking at?" Emily chuckled.
Hanna sat for a few seconds longer before speaking.
"Nothing. You're just so beautiful, Emily" Hanna smiled as did Emily.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" Emily laughed.
"What? Well my bad for just complimenting my best friend" Hanna smirked, holding her hands up in surrender.
"Idiot" Emily chuckled. "But for the record, you're beautiful too. You always have been to me" Emily told her, smiling sheepishly.
Hanna didn't say anything, again she sat staring at Emily in a non-creepy way. They both just smiled at each other before Emily heard her phone buzz, taking her attention away from Hanna. As Emily read the text, Hanna saw her smile like an idiot at her screen. Curious, Hanna asked who it was from.
"It's from Samara.. you know, from last night at the party" Emily said, not taking her eyes away from the screen.
"Oh yeah, I remember" Hanna replied unenthusiastically but with a smile.
Emily shot Hanna a confused look and quickly focused on her phone again and began texting back.
"She asked me out on a date" Emily squealed, sounding like an excited 12 year old girl.
Hanna's heart sank.
"That's great, Em! Are you going to say yes?" Hanna asked, knowing Emily would probably say yes.
"Yeah, she seems like a really nice girl" Emily smiled and sat her phone back down.
"She really does, Emily. I'm happy for you" Hanna said as the smile faded from her face.
Hanna died inside but covered what she was really feeling by giving Emily a smile when she looked at her, which was obviously convincing as Emily never thought anything of it.
"Anyway.. It's getting late, I better get going" Emily sighed.
"Yeah.." Hanna whispered.
"What?"
"Oh, nothing. Okay, i'll see you at school tomorrow, Em"
Hanna stood up and walked over to Emily and hugged her goodbye, maybe just a little too long. She reluctantly let go and they said their goodbyes.
Emily, Spencer and Aria were all talking about the weekend they just had until Spencer brought up Samara.
"So, are you going to be seeing this Samara girl soon?" Spencer asked.
"Yes, actually. She text me last night and asked me out on a date, we're going out on Wednesday after she finishes work, I can't wait but I'm kinda nervous"
"Nervous? What's there to be nervous about?" Spencer asked.
"Well I dated Paige for a while so it's been a while since I've been with anyone else.. what if she doesn't like me? Plus, have you seen how beautiful she is? I wouldn't have known she was a lesbian if we never talked"
"Emily. You're being paranoid, you're probably the easiest person to get on with, I'm positive she'll like you and I will admit, she is seriously pretty"
"You're right.. Thanks Spence" Emily smiled.
Hanna approached the girls from behind and caught the end of their convseration.
"When is Spencer never right?" Hanna asked.
The girls laughed, Emily took a step to the side to let Hanna in the circle. "What are you guys talking about anyway?"
"Emily and Samara" Aria smiled.
"Oh right, still up for the date, Em?" Hanna asked, pretending to be interested.
"Yep. I was actually just telling Spencer and Aria I can't wait for it" Emily smiled.
"That's good news. Well anyway, I have to get to class, I'll see you guys later" Hanna said, turned and walked away.
"Me too. See you at lunch" Emily said goodbye to Spencer and Aria before heading off to class.
Once Emily and Hanna were both out of their sights, Spencer turned to Aria.
"Did you see that?" Spencer asked, almost whispering.
"See what, Spence?"
"Hanna's face when she heard Samara's name.. the smile was wiped off it straight away"
"So what are you implying..? she hates the girl?"
"I'm not sure, I just know Hanna isn't happy about Emily's date. I'll show you next time, I'll bring up the subject and just watch Hanna, you'll see what I mean"
"You don't think she's jealous, do you?" Aria asked.
"Why would she be jealous?" Spencer raised, raising her eyebrow.
"I don't know, just a possibility. You wanna go to The Grille?"
"Sure, let me just put these books away in my locker" Spencer smiled.
Emily and Hanna walked to English together and took their seats, Spencer and Aria were already in their seats discussing something leaning over their desks. Hanna was completely zoned out for the entire lesson, every now and then, she would glance over at Emily, her heart breaking each time she remembered she couldn't have her. Hanna suddenly felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and she pulled it out under the table, noticing she received a text from Emily.
"Is there a reason you keep looking at me?"
Hanna looked up at Emily, who was now looking at her with a confused look on her face. Hanna slightly panicked, with this now being her second time being caught staring at Emily and didn't have an excuse this time. Hanna shook her head at Emily and focused on Mr. Fitz. Emily also went back to focusing on the lesson. Hanna was worried by this time, she was sure Emily was starting to get suspicious of her actions.
The class had finally finished and Hanna let out a sigh of relief. She hurried out the door, wanting to avoid Emily, Spencer and Aria. The three girls shot each other a confused expression and walked together to the cafeteria.
"What's up with Hanna?" Aria asked.
"Who knows.. She's been acting strange the whole day" Spencer said.
"She's hiding something" Emily said matter-of-factly.
"How do you know?" Aria asked.
"I think she's right, Ar. Remember what we talked about earlier?" Spencer whispered the last part, quiet enough so only Aria could hear. Aria nodded.
"I wonder where she even went.. I'm going to text her"
Emily pulled her phone out from her pocket and began texting Hanna.
"Where did you go? Are you okay? xx"
"I felt sick, I went home. Don't worry about me xx"
"Aww babe, I'll come by after school to check in on you. Feel better soon xx"
Hanna smiled at Emily's text and thought maybe she didn't have any suspicions about her behaviour, immediately lightening her mood.
"Best friend ever :) xx"
"Got that right ;) xxx"
Since school still had over an hour left, Hanna decided to tidy her room and polish it, she was sure her mother would have a heart attack at the fact she done something productive. Hanna wasn't one to tidy, usually it would be her mom or Emily doing it for her when she was over, Hanna would always thank Emily. As she tidied her room, she heard a knock on the door and knew it would be Emily and ran downstairs to answer it. As she opened the door, it was indeed Emily.
"I told you, you don't need to knock" Hanna smiled and walked through to the kitchen.
"Well I just think it's rude to just walk into other people's homes without knocking" Emily laughed, following behind.
"I do it all the time at yours" Hanna smirked.
"But you're you, Hanna.." Emily laughed again.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Hanna asked, pretending to be hurt.
"Nothing. So, are you feeling better?"
"Yep. All better" Hanna smiled and sat on the island counter.
"Good. I dont like it when my little Han is ill"
"Hey, I'm not little" Hanna pouted.
"Well, you're still my little Han" Emily winked.
"That's totally fine with me" Hanna smiled. "So.."
Emily walked over to Hanna and stood in front of her, stepping in the space between her legs and wrapped her arms around her, pulling in for a hug.
"Em? Are you okay? What are you doing?" Hanna asked as she lay her chin on Emily's head, her heart racing from the contact.
"I just wanted a hug, that's all" Emily said as she backed her body away from Hanna but kept her feet in the same place. "So, what do you want to do? Stay in..? Go out..?" She asked as she rested her hands on thighs.
Hanna's heart was now racing and she felt herself go weak all over.
"I can't really be bothered going out, lets just go watch TV" Hanna stated and jumped off the counter, taking Emily by the hand to the living room. They both sat down and Emily swung her legs up and rested them over Hanna's lap.
"Here" Hanna passed Emily the remote. "You can choose what we watch"
"Oh, good. The things you watch are rubbish" Emily joked.
"Well for that I'll just make you suffer" Hanna said as she grabbed the remote from Emily.
"I was joking you idiot, give me it"
"You want it? Come get it" Hanna teased.
Emily pounced on Hanna, taking her by surprise. Hanna quickly reacted and put her arm behind her head, making the remote out of Emily's reach and laughed.
"You do realize I can get that, right?" Emily smirked.
"What are you waiting for, then?" Hanna winked.
Emily jumped further up Hanna and was now straddling her stomach. Feeling Emily's crotch area pressed against her stomach turned Hanna on instantly, the longer she sat there, the crazier it made her. Emily quickly grabbed the remote from Hanna's hand and pulled it behind her, now out of Hanna's reach. Hanna shoved Emily off her, pretending to be annoyed.
"Got it" Emily playfully stuck her tongue out.
"Got it" Hanna mocked.
"You are such an idiot" Emily laughed.
Both girls suddenly heard the front door open and in walked Mrs. Marin.
"Oh, hello Emily" Mrs. Marin said.
"Hey Mrs. Marin" Emily smiled sweetly.
"I'm just about to start dinner, you're welcome to stay if you'd like some and please, call me Ashley"
Emily looked over at Hanna as if she was somewhat asking for permission from her. Hanna just smiled.
"Sure, that would be great Mrs- Ashley" Emily said.
"Okay, I'll let you two know when it's ready" Mrs. Marin said as she walked through to the kitchen.
"My mom totally loves you, you're like another daughter to her" Hanna said once Mrs. Marin was out of sight.
"I know, we're basically sisters" Emily smiled.
"Sisters.." Hanna thought. The smile faded from Hanna's face as she thought that's all her and Emily would ever be.
Emily noticed the smile from Hanna's face fade, making her worried.
"Hanna, what's wrong?" Emily asked worriedly.
"Hm?"
"I asked what's wrong.." Emily said quietly.
"Oh, nothing Em. It's fine" Hanna forced a smile.
"Hanna it's not fine.. You've been acting strange all day. What's up?"
"Em, really, it's fine. I told you, I was just feeling sick earlier"
"It isn't. Stop giving me that "I was sick" shit because I don't believe it. There's something both-"
"EMILY, I SAID IT'S FINE!" Hanna shouted.
Emily was slightly taken aback by Hanna's tone and had a hurt expression on her face. She sat for a moment, thinking of why Hanna wouldn't tell her until she finally snapped back.
"Fine. If you don't want to tell me and keep things from me then be like that. I know for a fact something is bothering you and it hurts me to think you don't even trust me enough to tell me. I know you and you know me, Hanna. I just thought we trusted each other more than this but obviously not" Emily said coldly and stood up.
Hanna sat in silence, not sure what to say. Her heart broke at Emily's words. Emily walked through to the kitchen to find Mrs. Marin and there she was, leaning over the stove.
"Mrs. Marin, I'm sorry but I forgot I had work at six, I gotta head" Emily apologized.
"Oh, don't worry about it sweetie, you can always join us some other time" Mrs. Marin said in a kind tone, not aware of Emily and Hanna's little argument.
"Sure, some other time. Have a nice night, goodbye" Emily smiled and picked up her bag from the stool.
"You too sweetie"
Emily walked out of the kitchen and glanced in the living room and Hanna was no where in sight, a second later she heard a door slam shut upstairs. Emily breathed out heavily in frustration and left the house.
Hanna crashed down onto her bed, her eyes watering from trying to hold back tears. She finally let them fall as she turned around and buried her face into the pillow, soaking it with each tear. Hanna didn't want to be happy, so with that she walked over to her drawers and grabbed her iPod. She flung herself back down on her bed and listened to the most depressing songs she could think of, the first one being Dido - White Flag, followed by U2 - With Or Without You. She lay there for a while, letting the tears stream down her face, she couldn't face feeling this way about Emily, she was sick of bottling her feelings up.
Due to her music, Hanna hadn't heard her mother calling on her for dinner. Mrs. Marin slowly opened Hanna's door to find her laying there crying her eyes out. Ashley quickly walked over to her and sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her earphones out. Hanna made no eye contact with her mother. Her eyes were now swollen, red and puffy. It broke her mothers heart to see her like this.
"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Mrs. Marin said, her voice full of worry.
Hanna didn't speak, instead she picked up a pillow and buried her face in it.
"Talk to me, honey" Mrs. Marin pleaded.
Hanna still didn't reply and Marin slowly pulled the pillow away from Hanna's face. She looked broken. She had never seen Hanna in this state before, not even when Caleb left her.
"Is it Caleb?"
Hanna shook her head.
"Are you stressing out about something? School?" Mrs. Marin asked.
Hanna shook her head again.
"Is it your friends?"
Hanna contemplated on whether she should tell her mother or not, she was scared yet felt as if she needed to tell someone about her situation, she was sick of facing it alone.
"Have you ever liked someone you can't have?" Hanna asked quietly, tears still flowing.
"Oh, Hanna. I think everyone has at some point in their life" Mrs. Marin said sympathetically. "Why can't you have him?"
"They like someone else" Hanna said between her sobs, ignoring the 'him' in her mothers question.
"Well, he's missing out on something amazing if he likes someone else, honey. Trust me" Mrs. Marin stated as she moved and sat up beside Hanna wrapping her arms around her.
"Mom.. it's not a he.. it's a she. It's Emily. I'm in love with Emily" Hanna whispered to her mother, also finally realizing she was in love with Emily admitting it to herself.
Mrs. Marin backed her head away to look at Hanna's face, when her eyes met Hanna's, all she was pain.
"Y-you're into girls? Mrs. Marin asked, surprised.
"I'm into Emily" Hanna cried. "I can't have her mom and it kills me knowing that"
"Oh, honey. Who is this other girl?"
"Some chick she met at a party, her name's Samara and she's so beautiful mom, I can't stand it. They're going on their first date on Wednesday"
"Emily might not even like this girl and I highly doubt she'd reject anyone else at the moment. You should tell her how you feel, sweetheart"
"Mom, she's so excited about going on this date. Plus, Emily would never want me. She loves me like a sister" It pained Hanna to admit.
"People are different when they're sober. I'm assuming this Samara girl was probably drunk since she was at a party. The date might not even go well" Mrs. Marin said, trying to comfort Hanna. "Tell her, honey. Emily might surprise you"
"We had an argument just earlier because she kept asking what was wrong, she noticed I've been acting strange around her but how do you just randomly tell your best friend that you're in love with them? You don't do that, mom. I love her so much, I'm seriously head over heels in love with her and I have been for a while now. I thought my feelings would have disappeared by now but they haven't, they just grow stronger for her each day and it's getting harder to ignore them" Hanna said as more tears streamed down her face.
"Hanna, if you don't tell her, you will spend the rest of your life wondering 'what if?,' Do you really want to do that?"
"No" Hanna whispered.
"I'm not saying do it straight away, think about it for some time, sweetie" Mrs. Marin said as she stood up and kissed Hanna's forehead. "Are you in the mood to eat?"
"Okay.. And no, I'm not hungry, I'll eat later" Hanna sniffed.
"Okay, come down whenever you're ready. And I couldn't help but notice.. but did you tidy? Mrs. Marin gasped.
"Haha. Yeah, I got bored and had nothing to do" Hanna laughed.
"Wow. I'm surprised" Mrs. Marin laughed and left the room.
Hanna lay in bed for the rest of the night, thinking of how she would tell Emily or if she even wanted to. Hanna had never felt this way about anyone before and the fact that she felt this way towards her best friend was what scared her the most. What if Emily took it horribly? What if she never spoke to Hanna ever again and their friendship was ruined? What if she lost Emily completely? The thought of losing Emily killed her. Hanna would never hurt Emily but what if Emily ever hurt Hanna? Emily was the only person that could hurt her. How would her family react, along with Spencer and Aria? She knew Spencer and Aria wouldn't hate her as they were okay with Emily being into girls, but what if her and Emily got together and broke up? The group would be divided and the girls would have to choose sides. Hanna didn't want that to happen, she loved her friends more than anything. Along with the negative thoughts, Hanna thought of the positive ones. What if Emily did feel the same way and was just as scared to tell Hanna how she felt? She'd be able to hold her and kiss her whenever she wanted and tell her how much she loved her just for no reason. She felt like if she was with Emily, life would be perfect. Hanna drifted off into a sleep as her mind clouded with thoughts of Emily. Hanna was head over heels in love with this girl. This beautiful, perfect girl.
Emily got home and started on her homework, trying to avoid thinking about Hanna. It was hopeless, she couldn't concentrate on her homework as Hanna was all she thought about. Emily had no idea what has gotten over Hanna, she regretted what she said earlier, feeling guilly. Her words obviously hurt her as she never argued back. Emily picked up her phone and decided to invite Spencer and Aria over, saving her homework for later.
"Hello?" Spencer answered.
"Hey, Spence. Are you busy?"
"Oh hey, Em" Spencer smiled as she recognized her voice. "No I'm not busy, why, what's up?"
"Can you and Aria come over? I need to talk to you guys about something"
"Sure, Em. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah.. no. I'll tell when you two get here"
"Okay, we'll be there in about 10 minutes"
"Thanks, bye Spence"
"Bye"
Emily sat her phone down and put her barely started homework to the side. "Should I call Hanna?" She thought to herself. She then decided it would be better to talk to Spencer and Aria first. Emily was completely confused by Hanna's actions, she didn't know how to approach Hanna about them.
As Emily was lost in her thoughts, she finally heard a loud knock at the door, knowing it would be Spencer who knocked it. She hurried to the door and invited Spencer and Aria in and headed up to her room.
"So, Em, what's up?" Spencer asked as she sat on the window seat.
Emily sat on her bed beside Aria and got comfortable.
"It's Hanna.. don't you think she's been acting weird? Emily asked.
"Yes!" Spencer said as if she had been waiting for someone to finally notice.
"Well we just got into an argument at her house earlier.. I asked her a few times what was wrong and she lost her temper with me and shouted at me"
"What did she say?" Aria asked, raising her eyebrows.
"Something like 'I said it's fine, now stop asking..' I can't remember exactly. She just shouted right in my face"
"What did you say?" Aria asked again.
"I just said things like how it hurts me that she doesn't trust me enough to tell me what's wrong.. I think I was maybe too harsh on her" Emily said quietly. "What's wrong with her guys? I'm worried"
"Aria and I actually talked about her earlier. We both think it's something to do with Samara.." Spencer said.
"Samara?" Emily asked confused. "Why Samara?"
"Well don't you remember at the party, Hanna totally snapped at her for no reason?"
"Oh yeah.." Emily whispered.
"Remember when she kissed that girl as well, Ar?" Aria nodded. "That was really weird. She was all over her. I'm surprised you didn't see her, Em. She was close to you and Samara"
Emily's mouth gaped open.
"Hanna kissed a girl?" Emily asked shocked.
"Well.. not exactly kiss. She was kissing her most places except her lips" Spencer said awkwardly.
"Wow, how did I miss that? Why would Hanna even want to kiss a girl in the first place? What else did you guys pick up on?"
"At school today when us three were talking about Samara, Hanna asked what we were talking about and when Aria said you and Samara, Hanna didn't look too pleased. I think that's it, Em. Has she ever asked you about her?"
"Wow.. Um, she's never asked me but I haven't really brought it up but when I did tell her Samara asked me out on a date she may as well have said she couldn't care less.. it was written all over her face but I never said anything about it. She said she was happy for me though.."
"But didn't you notice in school today when she asked about your date, she asked if you were still up for it? That's an unusual question" Aria stated.
Spencer thought as Emily and Aria spoke, putting together the pieces. The lightbulb in Spencer's head finally lit up and she stared at Emily.
"Oh my god. Emily, I think Hanna likes you" Spencer said, almost whispering.
Aria's eyes widened and her mouth hung slightly open. "Of course" She thought to herself.
"What? Hanna l-likes me? She's straight and in love with Caleb, Spencer" Emily said as she glanced at Aria and shifted her sight back to Spencer, frowning.
"Emily" Spencer said as she walked over to towards her. "Think about what we just talked about.. "
Emily stood silent for a moment with a million thoughts running through her mind, she put together everything that they had just talked about. It finally made sense to Emily. She was stunned. She felt stupid for not picking up on these signs before.
"Oh my fucking god.." Emily whispered, with her eyes widened.