Things got a little bit better for the Hudson family after that. Finn still hadn't talked to anyone professionally about what he'd been going through for the past month and he refused to let his parents comment on anything but he did manage to tell Puck these tiny slips of thoughts and memories and emotions from time to time. It was a long shot from a healthy approach to healing, but Puck was willing to take whatever improvement he could get. It was easier with Puck for Finn; he never judged Finn for how he was choosing to handle it. Instead, he was patient with his kids and him in equal turns, and that was exactly what the taller man needed at that point in time.

The one part that was starting to bother everyone, however, was the fact that Finn still hadn't made any real progress about going back to New York. With his leave approved by the school and Jack's teacher sending weekly lessons by email, Finn didn't see any real rush to get back to their normal lives in Westchester. Instead, he opted to take the kids on creative field trips that gave them learning outside the traditional classroom setting so that he could spend virtually every waking moment around them. Puck accompanied them most days, but even he was a little worried about how little interaction Jack and Gracie were getting with other kids. He wanted to give it another few weeks before he brought it up with Finn again, but he knew that he was going to have to eventually broach the subject. Finn just wasn't listening to Burt or Carole or Kurt or even Mr. Schuester on the subject.

But tonight, there wouldn't be any worrying about school lessons or house sitters or the unsigned contract that was still stashed at the bottom of Puck's camouflage backpack. Instead, Puck had arranged for Burt and Carole to keep the kids for the night so that he could get Finn out of the house. He needed to relax, to have a few hours where it wasn't about Jack and Gracie but about Finn actually having fun. He hadn't seen his friend at peace the entire time they had been in Lima, even in those rare and fleeting moments where Finn got eerily quiet and seemed to let his mind shutdown. Puck usually opted for other methods to relax himself but knew that Finn was nowhere ready for that. A few bars at the sports bar downtown seemed like a much more viable option.

"Alright, guys, you need to be good for Grandma Carole and Grandpa Burt tonight," Puck told them as they drove home from the science museum late Thursday night. "I am going to surprise Daddy with a night out, but I know he'll have a really fun time if he knows that you are going to have fun at home with them."

"Why can't we go?"

"Because the place we're going to go is for grownups," Puck answered Jack. "Besides, I think Grandpa Burt said something about taking you guys to the Pizza Ranch for supper. I have a roll of quarters for each of you to use in the arcade if you promise me that you're going to behave like the perfect little prince and princess that I know you are."

"I want to play the animal crane," Gracie clapped. She hadn't quite managed the game but Puck knew Burt would figure out a way to get her one of the brightly colored plush animals from the machine. "And I want to get chocolate pizza. Do you think Grandma Carole will let me? Mommy never would. She said it would rot my teeth!"

The kids never really talked about Rachel much other than in passing, but it always caught Puck off-guard. In fact, no one really talked about her much anymore. Finn didn't seem to want to hear even her name, so no one brought her up unless he said something about her first. Puck could only think of once or twice that he'd said anything about her since that day in the backyard. All the stuff he had read on the Internet indicated that it wasn't normal or particularly good. Acting like she didn't exist, that her death had never happened, wasn't what seemed to be suggested. It was just another thing he had added to his list.

"I'll see if she will let you have a piece if you eat your dinner first," Puck negotiated as he pulled the rental car to the edge of the Hummels' driveway. "And that includes salad too, not just pizza. Your mommy was always really big on people eating their vegetables."

The kids disappeared into the house in search of their grandparents while Puck headed down to the basement where he figured he'd find Finn watching television. The big lug was stretched out on the sofa while some daytime judge show played on Burt's coveted big screen. His soft snores were barely audible beneath the boom voice of the judge. Puck grabbed the remote from the endtable and flicked the set off. Finn's eyes opened immediately but he didn't sit up.

"I was watching that."

"No, you weren't," Puck argued. "You were sleeping and even if you were watching it, you shouldn't. That shit will rot your brain, dude. It's the middle of the afternoon on an unseasonably warm day in December. You should go for a run or something, get some fresh air."

Finn ignored his friend as Puck sat on the other end of the couch opposite his foot. Finn threw his legs over Puck's lap defiantly. "The kids upstairs?"

"Yeah, Gracie is trying to get your mom to let her have chocolate pizza tonight," he chuckled. "By the way, your mom and Burt are taking the kids for the evening. We're going out."

"No thanks, I'm not in the mood."

"It's not negotiable," Puck argued back automatically. "I didn't organize some big get together. It's a Thursday night and the Browns aren't playing. There shouldn't be a big crowd out. So we're going to go down to that dive bar we used to get into back in high school with our fakes and we're going to have a few beers legally. It's only a few hours, Finn, but you need to get out of here."

"Can't I just go for the run?"

"Not a chance, dude," Puck smirked. "I'll even pay if you take a shower. Gotta dress you up a little so you look pretty for me."

Finn kicked his foot against Puck's arm. "Just us? No surprises?"

"I swear, man," he promised, crossing his hands over his heart.

Puck and Finn found themselves sitting in a corner booth a few hours later, just a couple of other patrons sitting at the bar in quiet conversation. It was an especially slow night for the place, which seemed to make Finn even happier. There was some weird game on one of the television sets that Puck thought might be jai alai that had kept Finn somewhat entertained for the better part of an hour. They didn't talk in more than nods and grunts between mugs of cold beer. They weren't anywhere near drunk but a nice little happy alcohol buzz had started to set in. Watching Finn actually look free for a few moments gave Puck a certain warmth in his chest that he was blaming on the beer. There was no other way to explain that loosened feeling that had been happening in his heart.

Finn ordered another beer when the game was over. He took a long drink when the waitress brought it over, a cute little blonde that Puck was certain he could take home at the end of the night if he really tried. Instead, he ignored the way she smiled at him and focused only on Finn. He seemed contemplative as he stared out the window, watching the late rush hour traffic filtering by on the street. There was a small but seemingly content smile on his face as an elderly couple passed by hand-in-hand.

"Rachel and I always talked about how that would be us someday."

Puck didn't know what to say to that so he didn't respond.

"I don't know what's supposed to come next," Finn said softly. "I keep thinking that I'll see a sign and I'll know what I am supposed to do. I know that everyone thinks I should be back in New York. They're not the ones that have to figure out how to live in that big house without her. I still need to go by the theater to pick up the stuff from her dressing room. I have to go through the clothes in our closet and write a million thank-you cards and update all the kids emergency information. There are all these things that I need to take care of and when I start on them, I know that this part will be over. Until I start doing those things, I can still pretend that this isn't real. But when I do, I'll essentially be erasing her from my life. How do I do that to the kids? How do I do that to Rachel?"

Puck lifted his right shoulder in a shrug. "I don't have the answer for that, Finn, but I will say that delaying the inevitable won't change anything. Just because you don't want it to be real doesn't mean that it isn't. Eventually the kids will need to go back to school and you'll have to donate the clothes and you'll have to move on. That doesn't mean that you're going to forget Rachel. The kids certainly won't; I know that you won't let them."

"I miss her every day, all the time, and I know it seems stupid...but missing her helps. It keeps her alive in here," Finn said as he pressed his left hand to his heart. Puck looked at his wedding ring and felt sad. "I just want to hold onto that feeling for a little while longer."

"Dude, it's only been a month. There's no timetable for how this is supposed to go," Puck assured. "You just need to think about what you should be doing and prioritize. I know the grief is overwhelming and apparently comforting, but you can't let that take over. You still have to think about what the kids need. They need stability, and I am not sure that staying here in Lima is giving them that."

"I know," Finn relented, "but like I said, I don't known what's supposed to come next."

Puck thought about that contract again and nodded. "I can understand," he admitted. Finn had told Puck a number of things he hadn't told anyone else in his four weeks in Ohio, so Puck thought it was about time that he repay the favor. "I'm technically not in the Army right now. No one else knows but I haven't signed my reenlistment papers. I was supposed to do it before I cam here but I just couldn't do it. The contract is right there, just waiting for my signature, basically giving me everything I've been working for since high school. I could even become a general in a few years. It's exactly what I've been planning since I decided to re-up six years ago. There shouldn't even be a question. This is the logical career path."

"And yet?"

"And yet, I don't know if I can see myself doing this in four years," Puck admitted. "I don't know what I would be doing if I wasn't doing this, but I'm just not sure that it's the right career path anymore. It would mean more time overseas, probably in pretty dangerous areas, and my ma isn't getting any younger. Do I really want to put her through that stress? Do I want to miss out on seeing Sarah's kids grow up and being a good uncle? There are all these other things that I pretended weren't important for so long, but being back here again, it's sort of impossible to pretend."

Finn paused for a long moment. "Did you ever miss it?" he asked, but what Puck heard was, Did you ever miss me?

"All the time," Puck pledged, holding his friend's gaze so that Finn knew he meant it. "I didn't let myself think about it, but my heart knew. It knew that life was moving on without me and that I was missing out on all the things that I should have been there for. I shouldn't have stayed away for so long, man, from my family and from you all. I've missed my friends, man, you most of all. I'm sorry that I wasn't around after the wedding. I should have been there when your kids were born."

"You're here now, that's all that matters," Finn decided. "For me and for my kids, you've been here when we've needed you the most."

"I don't know what I am going to do if I don't stay in the Army," Puck retorted. "I have all these special skills that aren't really applicable to the real world. I can't see myself in college or sitting behind some desk. I thought about going into law enforcement or something, but it's just as risky as the military. I don't want Ma to have new stress."

Finn tilted his head to the side in contemplation. "You could become a security consultant," he suggested. "You'd be able to set your own hours, take on your own clients. I'm sure the government would love to work with someone with all of your expertise, not to mention big companies and security firms. I know Rachel worked with one when she got to where she needed a bodyguard at certain events. You could help them with major events and stuff. I think you'd be really good at it."

It actually wasn't that bad of an idea. "I do know a lot of people in California since I've been there awhile," he thought aloud. "Maybe I'll look into it. I don't think I am going to stay down south though. There's too much going on down there. I want my life to be a little bit slower."

"Yeah," Finn nodded, thinking about going back to New York. "Rach always loved the bustle of the city, but after being here this past month, it's hard to think about going back to that. Everything is about the city, even in the suburbs; I'm not sure that's what would be best for the kids right now."

"So maybe we could both use a fresh start," Puck pointed out. "I mean, I know you don't want to go back to the house or even New York apparently. I definitely don't want to go back to my place on the base. Maybe we could take the kids up to Northern California. Even if it's just for a year, it'd give you some time to get a new perspective and the kids a place to recharge. It'd be safe and quiet."

"You'd really do that for me?"

"It'd be just as much for me, man," Puck told him. "I'd be able to figure out what I wanted to do next and help you out with Jack and Gracie for awhile. I think they'd like a little continuity so having me around would probably be helpful. I have some pretty decent savings so I could take the time off."

"I'd have to sell the house in Westchester," Finn said. "I'm sure that Blaine and Kurt would be glad to help me out with the details in New York. I could look for a job and get Jack enrolled in classes for the spring semester. It's actually not a bad idea."

"I've been telling you for years that I'm full of good ideas."

Finn laughed loudly and shook his head. "Dude, I grew up with you, remember? I seem to recall a broken bone when you thought you jumped off the Changs' roof in fourth grade. I was there when you caught the confession stand on fire when you were trying to make s'mores using a bunsen burner from the chem lab. You tried to steal an ATM with your mom's car. Need I say more?"

"Ah, the good old days," Puck mused before waving his hand dismissively. "Whatever, that's semantics. This one is pure Puckerman genius. How man times do you get a fresh start, Hudson? This is a second chance I think we could both use."

It could be a total disaster but as Puck grinned at him across the table, Finn couldn't see a single flaw in his friend's plan. He only saw a future that he was slowly starting to think that maybe he was supposed to have.