The sun can never be too bright. That was the first thought to cross her mind as she opened the door to the shed, tiptoed out, and shut it as quietly as she could. Mum will probably be wondering where I am. Freddie's backyard was really quite beautiful in the daylight- sun streaming down, life everywhere. It made her want to lay out in the sunshine and lap it up like fresh milk.

If only Freddie were here.

Then maybe Effy wouldn't be so sad.

She walked. Down the street, past the rows of identical houses, through the park, she walked. It all looked a little different- was it because she knew she was leaving it behind, or because she had only begun to see it for all its possibility and magic, or because there was still something missing from it? She didn't know, but that was okay.

She kept walking. This time, it was different- she wanted to go wherever her errant feet happened to take her. Almost at the precise moment when she turned onto a particular street, a shadow passed over the sun and everything went oddly dark… that was when she saw him. He came out of a house she had never seen. Stopped. Looked around. Failed to see her. Started to walk away.

As always, her mouth preceded her brain. She chirped, "Cook!"

He whirled around on the spot, a little more jerkily than usual. Unlike his usual lolling stride, he walked toward her purposefully, clasped her hand in his own, and whispered, "C'mon." She had always followed without question- this time was no different.

He pulled her into the gap between two hedges. "Panda? What the hell are you doing out here?"

"I dunno- I was just walking-"

"You've got to get out of here, Panda."

His brusqueness annoyed her- the indignation rose in her until it began to billow out of her throat. "The hell I do! Cook, I'm sick of being left out of the loop. You left the party last night without a word to anyone, not even Eff, and you just up and say I've got to…"

She paused; Cook had hung his head low and begun to cry, for no reason whatsoever. "… Cook? What's the matter?" He shook his head silently. In the enclosure of the hedges, she felt protected- it was the least she could do to make him, her friend and once-upon-a-time lover, feel protected too. She knelt, putting her hands on his shoulders and slowly lowering him down too. His whole body was trembling with suppressed cries, but not cries that had any ordinary aspect to them- no, these were like the abject sobs of a child who could not find his mother in a winter storm. Pandora offered her arms to him, and it was almost like he fell into her body- it was strange to be holding a Cook who was not showering her with frenetic kisses and caresses, but a Cook who desperately needed her in a different way. He buried his head in the crook of her neck, and his cries gently subsided. He sniffled.

"He killed Freddie, Panda… he killed Freddie."

Her head snapped up. "What?" There was nothing to believe in those words. She seized his torso, bringing his eyes up to meet hers. "Who?"

"Foster. Effy's shrink. John Foster. I was reading Freddie's diary, and he said that he didn't trust Foster… and Freddie couldn't have just up and left like that, not with Effy as fucked up as she is, I know him… so I went to Foster's, and I- I found…"

"What, Cook?" She touched his cheek- the desperation was written on her face, plain as day. "What did you find?"

"His- his clothes… they were in a bag, and they-" his breath hitched- "they were covered in blood…"

Pandora knew that she couldn't cry, not here of all places. She bowed her head, and her face stretched into a silent scream- any stranger who would have seen might have called it grotesque, any but for those who are well acquainted with grief. Her world was crashing down 'round her ears. What would the others say? And Effy… oh, Effy…

Cook rose. "Panda, I've got to get out of here."

She looked up at him. "Why? What'd you do?" He shook his head. "Cook…"

His hand reached out to hers, and he wove his fingers in between her own. "I can't tell you, Panda. If the police ask you where I've been or what I've done-"

She nodded. "I understand. But thanks for telling me. Nobody's ever told me anything that mattered before." He smiled, as much as a person grieving his best friend could. "About Freddie… how are the others going to find out?"

Cook sighed. "Karen should probably tell the others… she'll know what to say better than either of us could. I'm going now to tell her… and then I'm getting out of the country."

"Where will you go?"

"I dunno."

The tears began to drip from her face. "So is this goodbye?"

He stared into her face, long and hard. "I think so."

She reached into her pocket, rummaged around a bit, withdrew something. "My mum gave me three hundred quid for doing so well on exams… I reckon you should have it."

"Panda…"

"No." She pressed the notes into his hand. This was no flight of fancy, no fleeting impulse, and she needed him to know that. "I want you to have it."

He embraced her again, with the ferocity of honestly not knowing whether he would see her again. "Pandora… I don't think I ever really appreciated you."

She smiled. " 'S alright. Everybody knows I'm dead useless anyway."

"You're not useless. A bit daffy, maybe, but never useless." He began to walk away. "Panda?"

"Yes, Cookie?"

His gaze turned serious. "Sit down, close your eyes, and count to one hundred."

She knew what he was doing. Dutifully, she sat, wryly noticing that there she went again, following orders like a little girl. That was something that needed to change. As she caught a last glimpse of him, he was ascending, flight-like, onto a brick wall nearby. He was between her and the sun now- perhaps it was better to think of him that way, as if James Cook had been here for a time, destroyed nearly everything in his wake, made love to her with the ferocity of a thousand men, woke up and decided to walk into the sunrise one day, and let it swallow him up.

She wrenched her eyes shut. "One… two… three…"