This is the first chapter in the alternative happy ending, so yeah... If you want the more depressing ending, don't read this...Or read it anyway. It doesn't really matter. Tamaki is a pervert.

Crossroads of Self-Destruction IV-With You in the Bath

After dinner, Kyouya suggested that I wash up before we retired for the night. With my heart feeling much lighter now, I nodded and headed off just as he told me to. Stepping into his Japanese style bathroom, I began to discard my clothes. It was a nice change from my cold marble walls back home. I will no longer need to scorch my delicate skin with that hell water anymore. The air in here smells just like Kyouya, and it made me smile.

It is nice to think about how he comes in here everyday. The image of him discarding his clothes while he walks into the bathroom is overwhelming my head as I run the water and step into the bathtub. Sitting in this green tea scented steam alone, my mind cannot help but wonder what kinds of things Kyouya does in here. Does he wash his hair first or does he scrub his body first? Why is it that the image of his naked body gets my body to respond this way? It's throbbing so painfully…

Have I ever thought this way about him before? No…maybe…sometimes…yes. But that does not justify me fantasizing! He loves me too, now I know, so I should be happy already, right? My heart does not hurt as much anymore. There is still the fear of losing him, but at least now I am requited. Oh, but he doesn't know that I love him! It had just occurred to me that earlier, I was too dumbstruck to say anything in reply. All I did was stand there stupidly.

Poor Kyouya must have felt very awkward and guilty… I have felt that way since I first left the school with him this afternoon. I want to tell him so badly, but every time I look at him, my heart starts to race, and I feel like I might just die! The truth is I did not want the Ouran crest to be the only thing uniting us. I have dreamt about it before, however horrible that might sound, of us becoming connected. Perhaps I am just as naïve as he told me, but I somehow have the bizarre notion that if we physically get connected we will become somehow unbreakable. That is how Kaoru and Hikaru made it seem. Though they are blood related in the first place, they defy the laws of morality and connected… Perhaps it is just a thing between twins, but they never break apart. Sometimes I get the suspicion that Hunny and Mori-sempai had connected, too… They are unbreakable, still.

Closing my eyes, I let the steam and the warm water overcome me, letting my body float slightly. I was starting to lose myself in the serenity when I heard a soft rustling sound before I opened my eyes to find Kyouya dropping his bathrobe in front of the tub.

"Ky-Kyouya! Wh-what are you doing in here?" I stuttered like the idiot that I am. It is not that I do not like it…I mean… It is just sudden! I was not expecting this at all! Looking at him just standing there before me… What if he sees that I am already aroused? No… I must act casual! Maybe if I confess to him my side of the story, he might… No! Tamaki, do not be a pervert! But it is so hard to help myself… he is so beautiful and perfect…and I only fear that I might not be good enough for him.

Taking off his wire framed glasses, he carefully cradled them in his elegant porcelain coloured hand before setting it on the wooden railings of the bathtub with the utmost caution. Without a word, he gracefully stepped into the bathtub and slid over so that he was sitting adjacent to me. He gazed over at me with his piercing black eyes as if he could see into my soul, and I feared that he would see all the dirty things I am thinking right now. Immediately, I brought my legs up as close to my chest as possible, hoping to hide my excitement.

"Tamaki… I wanted to apologize for making things so awkward for you earlier. I should have known better than to say whatever I want. I suppose instinct got the best of me… What I mean to say is that I am sorry, and hope that you could still think of me as your friend."

"No." I started to say without being given time to think. I looked up at him to find his cool black eyes looking distressfully back at me. "I mean…" I took a deep breath before continuing. "What I meant to say is that I can't think of you as a friend."

"What?" Kyouya asked, exasperated.

"You didn't let me finish!" I snapped instinctively. "I can't think of you as a friend because I am in love with you, Kyouya! I thought you would realize this by now with your all seeing eyes! Why did you have to make me spell it out for you?" I confessed then buried my face with my hands. I am so embarrassed right now. I could die blushing.

A crooked smile crept across his lips and soon he began to laugh wholeheartedly. "I was so scared," he chuckled, "For a moment there, I thought you were going to reject me completely. If you did that, I would not know what to do with myself." He said, laughing until tears formed in his eyes and he began to cry. It was the first time I have ever seen him like this, so true to himself, so full of life. I cannot help but smile at his honest display of feelings.

When I get the chance to see Kyouya laugh or cry, it reminds me of how very honoured I am to be given that privilege. Whether he laughs or cries, it does not matter. The important thing was that he was comfortable enough around me to let his guard down that much. To know that he was willing to show his human side to me was more than enough to make me, fake, inadequate me feel special.