It's been a long time since the last update, but I wanted to tell you that I'll finish this story. So, if you are still there reading this, please, your reviews really inspire me to keep writing :) This chapter wasn't corrected by my beta, so every mistakes are totaly mine! Sorryyyyy

I saw Santana blink several times as if she wanted to have a better vision by improving focus to realize that it was really me who was in front of her at that moment. I swallowed several times trying to formulate coherent words and so say something, but my voice betrayed me and remained silent. Although it's been two years, I could still read that look and notice how millions of emotions struggled to gain the attention of the brunette, but I had to admit that I've never seen in my life those chocolates eyes that I had loved and I still have –turned too hard, dark and sharp ones. Something very like ... hate mixture of pain and resentment. I felt my chest cringe when I realized that never in my life I had been the protagonist or the cause of that look. Not even when we competed to be the best of Mckinley. It was ironic because in any case, I should be the one who had to look at her in that way. I was the one who always suffered for being the second in everything. So, it was not fair that Santana was looking at me that way, being that she was the least person to do it. I should hate her and should have the courage to scream at her all that I was hiding inside, shout it out loud what it cost me to start over my life again, to heal those wounds she left me and let her know that she just made me know how good was to be on heaven for just two seconds during a fucking hell that it'd always been my life. But all these things would not happen because I was paralyzed, my heart was beating a thousand revolutions per hour and it was absurd to admit that Santana was always going to be my Achilles heel. Whatever it was ... she was always going to be my weak point, which I would never be able to overcome or cope. Some people once they enter deep into your soul, and it doesn't matter what you'll do, they'll never going to leave and it's out of your own control to close that irreversible vulnerability. Santana was one of those.

"Okey–You are not here, this must be a joke" Santana started to shake her head nervously, her hands trembling like an old woman with Parkinson trying to find some papers I assumed they were mine, the contract I had signed. The brunette began to dislodge her hair nervously with her right hand to verify that it was my name that appeared there and gave a laugh that obviously was not joy or anything.

"Santana –" I took two steps to get closer but she quickly hit the table so hard that startled me and I thought that she had parted it in the middle.

"Out", those chocolate eyes refocused on me again with that anger I've never seen on her. They were burning me, but I dared to walk again.

"I didn't know you were going to be–" I keep talking trying to make her rationalize a little but I knew it was too much to ask for someone like Santana. We should talk like civilized people and face the situation that we were going to start an 'employee-boss relationship' first and then, if we could and wanted to, talk about our past but we had to differentiate things. Well, it was another difficult thing to ask.

"I said, Get. The. Fuck. Out!" Santana hit the table again and shout me to retire from there but, being a Fabray, I was not going to tolerate someone treat like that. Even if it was the latina.

"I'm not going anywhere, Santana … so it will be better for you to calm down and make things easier for both of us", I returned to collect courage and to get firm. I had to show that I was not afraid of her. "I just signed that contract, so I'm your new secretary and–"

"I don't see anything, do you?" The brunette again chose to make things difficult and broke the agreement into thousands of pieces. It was the perfect place to let the old Quinn come out and give her the classic slap moment, but I didn't let that happen. If I hit her, I would never have this job and Santana would have more than justifications for sending me away and I was not going to please her. Just as I was going to yell at her for being an incredible bitch, the redhead who had interviewed me entered.

"San–but, what are you doing?" She asked once their eyes met with torn papers and an hysterical Santana. She looked at me several times to try to understand what was happening and then saw the boss who approached her.

"Get her outta here, right now. You're the one who hired her without telling me and I want you to get rid of it–"

"What!? I don't understand why, Santana. She is–"

"Nothing! She is nothing and I don't want to know anything about her being here", Santana shouted pointing at me and for a couple of seconds while her angry eyes nailed me again.

"For being a boss, you're really still the usual whimsical baby" I said and for a moment I thought I was going to have her hands on my neck strangling me but the redhead caught the brunette, whispering to her to calm down. "I really need this job, Santana. Believe me, I don't want to see or be near to you either, but we could quietly work on different schedules or– "

"No. Like you said, I am the boss, therefore, whimsical or not, I have absolute right to decide what strikes me and I want you to go before I do it with my own hands", Santana said again and making me hard to swallow saliva. I didn't let her gaze to intimidate me but I had to admit that she did. I couldn't get used to this form of treatment from her. We used to be ... so different.

"Santana, and I've already performed the procedures of employment and her data is loaded into our system. The contract is done and must be met by at least one year–Santana? Are you okay honey?", while Annabelle tried to explain the reasons why we could not go back, I've already signed the agreements and the contract must meet no matter what, the brunette started having problems with her breathing and her irritated eyes became suddenly confused and incredible lost. I had to restrain my impulses that took me to get close to her to make sure she was okay. "Breathe with me, ok? Slowly, look at me, focus on my eyes. Can you do that? okay? Relax–", the redhead took the hand of the latin girl and placed it on her chest so that it would follow the rhythm of her breathing. I was still stunned by what I was watching. Santana was having panic attacks. I really didn't know what to do. "Quinn, will you leave us alone, please?" Annabelle turned her head in my direction as she tried to relax Santana. I nodded with very little desire and slowly began to leave. My heart was pounding ecstatically at everything that had happened in those minutes. My hands were shaking with nerves and as much as my heart and mind needed to re-enter and verify that the brunette, which was the reason I had moved in here, was fine. I needed to know since when she started having those panic attacks. I had so many questions creating in thousandths of seconds, I felt as if my mind would collapse if they could not stop any moment.

"Miss, Annabelle asked me to take you for coffee. In a few minutes she'll come for us. I'm Biff, by the way", a tall and skinny man with short dark brown hair, approached to me and kissed my hand like a gentleman. Then, I followed Biff' steps who took me to a small bar that was in the building. It spent easily an hour since we ordered coffee, although I hadn't even drunk mine. The man tried to talk to me about more than a few topics but unfortunately didn't get my attention. My mind was busy worrying about Santana and I needed to have news of her about what happened and what was going to happen with me.

"Intimidating the interview with Ms. Lopez, huh?" The man made me come back to reality and I smiled sadly as I played again with the spoon of my coffee. "Don't worry, besides she knows how to admire women's intelligence she also knows how to appreciate their beauty too", he decided to joke as he looked behind me smilingly. My eyes went to where his brown ones where looking and I saw Annabelle walking toward us. Could it be that he said that because something happened between Santana and that girl? Although the subject wasn't none of my business, I was going to find out soon. If they didn't fired me now.

"Would you leave us alone for a moment, Biff?" The redhead asked him politely and he nodded, waved and left me without any protest. "Quinn, I'm so sorry about the scene that happened before, I can assure you that if you decide to stay here, that won't happen again"

"Santana agrees with me to stay?"

"Yet, once she cools her impulses she does know to admit that you perfect for the job and that no one could do better than you", she said smiling and I smiled back at her but still kept my nervous look, not knowing if it was right to ask how she was.

"It's okay, you can ask how she is", Annabelle smiled at me making her gaze to focus on her hands that where on the table. "She's fine, It's been long since the last time she had those panic attacks, since–" She was going to say when was the last time she had suffered them, but stopped when she realized it was intimate information. Which I was dying to know. "I don't understand why. Maybe it's all the work we have lately, that's why you come to us, to rescue us ", she smiled again "and help her a bit. You need to ease the tasks that poor woman", This time I was who smiled at her. "So, I'll see you tomorrow then?" Her warm smile made me nodded slightly. If it was true that something happened between her and Santana, it was understandable. The charisma that radiated the woman was very similar to Brittany but a little more normal and mature. I had to admit that she was a very beautiful woman indeed. "Perfect. Have a good day, Quinn", we shook hands and she left. Well, at last I could go now to my apartment and change my clothes for other large and comfortable, hug my pillow and eat my dose of ice cream trying not to mourn.

There are times when you want to escape from problems, though you travel miles and miles to start from scratch, makes no sense. You do realize then that the world is a small place and life has millions of laps. Life is about affronts that we can overcome without fear and then be able to feel free from them proudly.

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Once I got to the apartment, I opened the fridge and grabbed the first thing I found. Whipped cream. Perfect. Before the madness or depression take over me and start to cry while listening to the most depressing songs of the century, I decided to put myself gloves and perform a deep cleaning the apartment, which was very necessary. I needed to distract myself doing some activity to keep me busy and not thinking or collapse when I realized that Santana Lopez was my new boss. She hated me and I had to learn to live with it for the rest of my days.

"Quinn?", I heard the unmistakable voice of Rachel who had just arrived. I shouted that I was in the bathroom and then heard the sound of her heels closer towards me. "Tell me! how did it go! Ok, I already know that– Quinn? What are you doing? Oh –oohh 'all right, Quinn ... it's normal, everyone has ever happened to us at least once, that we weren't hired or–"

"I've got the job!", I shouted angrily shaking the toilet brush I had in my hands and then continued to clean the toilet, avoiding eye contact with my friend.

"Yay! I'm so happy for you! I knew it– Ehm, wait, then, what happened that you're almost going to remove the toilet's paint by scrubbing so much with the brush?", at any other time it would have been comical to see the different facial features Rachel did trying to process the information I had given to her and the tension my body was transmitting that didn't match with the 'happy new'.

"Guess who is my fuckin' boss, Santana Lopez!" I said smiling not in the best way and continued scrubbing the toilet after placing more whipped cream in my mouth.

"I'll get the vodka," I heard Rachel say before leaving the bathroom.

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Luckily, if it can be called that way, I haven't run into Santana for weeks. Although I didn't want to see her for the welfare of my mind and heart, I couldn't deny that I needed to know how she was. It urged me the need to know how she was, even having heard the halls that 'the boss was not coming to work because she was having panic attacks again'. Beyond all that, I could rescue that the atmosphere was very comfortable and Biff helped me to keep me distracted most of my workday. I knew deep down that he had other intentions, if I had never met Santana, I could give him the opportunity to start something with him. But it would be unfair to give someone illusions, knowing I would never be able to give all that I am. I have already experienced this situation enough to cause it to another.

It was at a party that had organized the company, which I agreed to go with Biff, where I saw the brunette. At some point, I had managed to separate me from Biff and had led to a balcony to get some air and admire the lights of the city for a while. I needed to be a bit alone and quiet. Once I had decided to leave the party after a few minutes if my co-worker didn't returned to find me, I was shocked to hear someone approaching and by the noise it seemed he was trying to light a cigarette. When I turned my face to see who it was, my body tensed. There, three steps away from me it was standing the person who I hadn't seen since the day of my interview. As much as tried and forced to divert my eyes, I could not make my body respond to the orders of my brain. My eyes waited for her to finish lighting the cigarette, until those brown eyes met mines. Her gaze froze for a moment and I thought she would immediately go back to the room, but I was surprised to see how she blew smoke and headed towards the balcony railing for support avoiding me.

"You hated cigarettes", I commented without taking my eyes of her. Santana was still giving me her back.

"People change, tubbers" she simply said without looking at me and we were silent. The fact that she was using nicknames with me again, made me feel like as if we went back to the days of high school. She could tell me that people change over time, but the essence of each one always remains.

"You didn't come to work for weeks" I decided not to respond aggressively to the insult, which managed to Santana turn to face me.

"No fuckin' shit, Sherlock", she replied sarcastically and I suddenly got the urge to slap her like old times. That was how we roll.

I'll never know what was it that prompted me to get close to her to take her cigar and smoking it. Maybe I just wanted to know what would be her reaction. Before my fingers made contact with the cigarette, her frown was dropped and immediately moved her hand not giving me the cigarette.

"Nuh-huh, you have forbidden smoking, teen mom. I am not going to let your suicide attempt hurt my image and to lose my company for your fult", Santana answered me seriously and without hesitation, threw the cigarette. I felt my heart speed up a bit to see that even she remembered things that had banned me after my accident. Although immediately everything faded when the Latin girl took marijuana from her purse that she holding on her hand.

"You are not going to get high in front of me, Santana", I demanded her while trying to remove what she had on her hand.

"What the–get off me Fabray!" The brunette tried to get rid of my hands but we started shoving and fighting with our hands that I ended up cornering her against the wall. For a few seconds, her eyes were merged with mine and feeling her breath so close to my face, my body turned numb. It's been so long since I had her this close to me… it's been two fuckin' years and…I think I didn't really realize how much I missed her body against mine like I'm doing right now that much.

"Stay the fuck away from me", I couldn't even enjoy the moment of getting back so close to her that I immediately felt a push force me to reality against the balcony railing. I blinked several times until I could return to react and see that the brunette was going to smoke the marijuana. I sighed.

"I will not conceal my boss getting high, Santana. You've never done these things– "

"Who the fuck do you think you are to tell me what can I do and what not? What the fuck do you care? If it bothers you that much, you can safely submit your resignation, which I would accept immediately", Santana said, raising her voice to me which made me swallow hard and I had to contain my desire to beat her for the second time.

"You know that whatever you do, I won't present my resignation. You'll have to learn to deal with my presence, Santana. We are adults now", I said and she just laughed as she lit her marijuana. I just sighed and went to lean on the wall, watching as she continue smoking. After a few minutes in silence, I noticed that she wasn't wearing any ring in her finger.

"Recently married and no longer use the alliance, huh," I laughed sarcastically but immediately regretted having done that in a matter of milliseconds, Santana walked toward me, her eyes were so bloodshot that I didn't know if it was for the same effect of marijuana or the anger she was feeling at that moment. When I had the feeling that the latina would scream at me or we were going to begin a fight to the high school style, the presence of Annabelle saved me.

"Santana, you're here", said the redhead looking at our faces until she then realized that the brunette was out of herself. "I think it's time to go, San ... I'll call a cab" she said before she left us alone again.

"Just as many things happened in two years, some didn't", was the first time I heard the voice of Santana so fragile. Once she said those words, she withdrew from there leaving me dazed by my thoughts trying to process what she had just said.

"Quinn! At last I found you, do you want to–", Biff's voice startled me and made me stop processing in my mind.

"I want to go home, Biff", I ask him and then I started walking out of there. He simply nodded confused and immediately we headed to his car. Biff was a smart boy and he knew that something had happened to me during the party that made me so silent. While my mind was still drawing by their own conclusions, I swallowed a lump in my throat and tried to hold my composure. I didn't want to cry in front of him.

'Just as many things happened in two years, some didn't'

That sentence was repeated over and over in my head.

'Some didn't'

Could it be? It could be that Brittany and Santana's wedding had never happened? Why–

"You know you can tell me anything, Quinn, right? I know we don't know each other much, but you can trust me", my co-worker told me and for some strange reason made me burst into tears, which provoked him to open his eyes without understanding what had he done to cause my tears and then stopped the car to calm me down.

"Hey Quinn Shhh, relax", his arms wrapped around my shoulders and I feel him pushed me against his chest. Once I manage my breathing to calm a little, I separated from his body and smiled as I felt Biff dried my tears and tried to correct my makeup with a tissue.

"I know how often women go crazy when they see her ruined makeup", he tried to joke which managed to bring a smile to my face. He waited a few minutes so I could achieve my composure and then he looked at me so I could start talking. I knew he was going to ask.

"Ms. Lopez and you have already met, haven't you?", Biff asked slowly and I sighed before nodding my head. "And, I can assume that something else happened between the two of you, but, what happened?"

"It's ... complicated and a long story" I replied pleading him with my eyes to stop asking and luckily he realized that I didn't want to talk about it. I had that damn question tormenting my head and I didn't know how long I would continue supporting the intrigue. I didn't really know if I wanted to know or if it was better to leave things as they were. It was no longer my concern, right? "By the way, how did you know–"

"Annabelle is in love with Miss Lopez, but they never managed to formalize 'the relationship'", he explained what I had already deduced quite some time. It was very obvious that something was happening between them to see how Annabelle knew everything that happened to Santana, or how she did anything for being next to her. "While you were on the balcony with Santana, Annabelle's was watching you from the bar and by the way she looked at you sadly, I knew you had something to do with it", he said and I opened my eyes alarmed at what I had heard. Right away I could imagine the situation where the redhead got me fired and– "Don't worry, she's not one of those demented bitches who want to exterminate their competences" Biff tried to make me relax. But upon hearing that the redhead wanted to formalize the relationship that she had with the brunette, my mind kept exploding with conclusions that she had not married, or maybe she had already divorced? I needed clarity of once for all.

"Do you know if Santana is married–"

"I never knew that Miss Lopez was married, at least until now ..." the boy answered me somewhat confused. "Why do you ask me that?"

Santana was not married.

Brittany and Santana never married. So ... why have I never known about this? Why did Rachel and Kurt tell me–why hide that information? Why? Why did they allow me to suffer all this time picturing the two of them living together happily being that never happened that wedding? Maybe if I'd known, I would have never moved and–

"I need you to take me to my house, now!" I urgently demanded to Biff who was startled to see how my mood had turned into the opposite I was feeling seconds behind.

As I watched Biff passing cars, I could not wait any longer to arrive and meet my two friends and make them answer my questions before I go crazy completely. And what if they had hidden me something else? What if I was missing something else? And what if Santana did try to contact me? Or if Santana wanted to return to be with me and I was not there to–

What if? What if. Whatif–Whatif…

The health of my heart and my mind needed to know all those things. I needed more air to breathe. Because sometimes that 'those things that never go out' as much as the things that happen, can change everything in your life. Within seconds, certain facts can change the course of life. And although I have tried to start all over, that information would transport me back to two years ago, even though I wouldn't like it to and it was already late to do so.

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