THE WOES OF INTER-GENDER TENNIS

CHAPTER IV

DING-DING-DING! WE HAVE A WINNER!

Two weeks after the outing to the (amazingly gory) horror film with Keigo, Ryoma awoke with one of the worst stomach-aches she had experienced in her short life.

This was an irritation given it was a day before the district tournaments started, and a stomach ache could have a disastrous affect on her performance should it last that long.

Emerging from her shower with a unnaturally gloomy morning attitude (unnatural in comparison to her usual one) and one hand covering her lower abdomen, earned her a strange horrified look from her father

Her mother gave her a pitying look. She then proceeded to hand her two of their larger Aspirin tablets, a glass of water, before throwing out the pancakes and replacing them with Japanese food. Not one to tempt good fortune or question maternal psychic abilities, Ryoma eagerly downed all three.

Upon leaving the house Momoshiro, who had taken to picking her up on his bike in the mornings, took one look at her face and decided it would be best to keep the verbal vomit to a minimum this morning.

To Ryoma's eternal gratitude, he simply gave her a cheery greeting as she climbed onto the back of his bike, before heading towards the school in silence.

"OLD HAG! DO NOT LET RYOMA GO TO PRACTICE TODAY! SHE'LL KILL EVERYONE IF SHES ANYTHING LIKE RINKO IS WHEN SHE-"

"Ryuzaki-Sensei, can I go over one of these formulas with you before registration? I don't really understand the negatives in it…"

Sumire looked up from the unintelligible phone call almost eagerly;one of her students asked, holding up the questions from the previous day.

"Call you back later Nanjiro, young minds to nurture and all that jazz" Sumire informed the crazed man, lowering the phone onto its holder.
"NO! OLD HAG DON'T YOU DARE HANG UP ON ME! RYOM-"

"Um… I can come back later Ryuzaki-sensei. He sounded kind of worried…" her student informed her tentatively, still giving the phone a wary look.
"Ignore him; he's just a crazy old monk. Now what seems to be the problem?"

"If you miss one of the cones, then this is what will be waiting for you" Inui grinned, holding up a pitcher of red… Was that moving?

Ryoma's already churning guts began to curdle at the sight of the red… substance.
'Holy crap on a cracker! What the hell is that shit?'

"What the hell is that Inui?" Kikumaru yelled, moving away from the third year to hide behind his doubles partner. Said doubles partner was giving the red liquid (the word was for reference purposes only) a similarly horrified look.

"It's a health juice I made; I call it Penal-Tea!" Inui replied with horrifying enthusiasm.

If the penalty itself had been so horrifying, Ryoma might have cracked a smile at the pun.

"I don't want to drink that…" Momoshiro whimpered,
"Really? I think it looks quite tasty…" Fuji smiled.

Ryoma shuddered; there was no way in hell she was going to drink that, her stomach was feeling bad enough as it was. She was certain that the horrifying concoction would only serve to make matters worse.

With this thought in mind, she put her all into distinguishing the different coloured lines on the balls being swerved towards her.

"Red, blue, blu-"
"Miss!"

There was a howl of horror as Oishi near flew past her own court and towards the sinks. Ryoma squashed her panic as best she could and concentrated on her own balls.

"Blue, yellow, blu-"
"Miss!"
"YEEEEAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHKKKKKK! DISGUSTING!"

Kawamura followed Oishi out of the practice court and towards the sinks with equal speed.

As she increased her concentration on her own hitting, Ryoma found herself wondering if her father and brother had suffered similar experiences when they attended the school. It would explain some of the 'don't-want-to-talk-about-it' looks she had received when asking why the found her grandmother's training methods to be so scary.

"Yellow, red, re-"

The next to go was Kaidoh. At first, he seemed to have some resistance to the vile liquid, but eventually even he was forced to dash off the courts. The remaining regulars paled - particularly Ryoma.

"Yellow, red yellow blu-"
"Miss! You did that on purpose didn't you Fuji?"

Several heads stared at Fuji in horror as he nodded in agreement, taking the glass of red horror from Inui and swallowing it with ease.

"This is really good Inui, I'd definitely recommend it! He said smiling.

This finally settled the growing belief that it was unfit for human consumption since Ryoma had, having once seen the contents of Fuji's lunch box, quickly realized the third year either had malfunctioning taste buds or was simply not human.

New resolve was in her swings as she hit blue, red, and yellow outlined balls back to Inui. This seemed to have gathered a crowd of amazement, but Ryoma did not really concern herself with the crowd, her focus was on avoiding the vile drink.

Unfortunately the weights that had been added as a handicap had been draining her of her stamina and accuracy (which was really the point of the exercise), and one mistake was all it took her to follow Oishi Kawamura and Kaidoh to the sinks.

After some time they recovered but Ryoma's assumption that the gruesome concoction would worsen her already-painful-despite-the-800ml-aspirin-dose stomach-ache was very much correct.

It was for an agonizing twenty minuets that she stumbled around the courts barley managing what should have been easy shots (well, for her). Fuji was the first to notice and thus the first to worry.

"Echizen, are you alright? That should have been an easy shot for you" he frowned, coming over to her side of the court where she sat panting from the forced effort.

Ryoma knew better than to lie to Fuji - one of the other third years had done that and the results had included public humiliation via Fuji's camera and the school newspaper.

"Not really, my stomachs been killing me all day and that juice of Inui's turned my insides into some sort of civil war…" she grumbled reluctantly.

Fuji's eyes opened into a displeased look.
"Why didn't you say something earlier then? The district tournament begins tomorrow…" he reprimanded.

Ryoma glared at him in a manner that told him that any kind of babying would be most unwelcome.

"Fine, I'll stop, but you're going home," he instructed, taking on the sempai voice Ryoma had only seen used by Kaidoh when Horio grated on his nerves.

Ryoma could easily have ignored him but having never heard Fuji use that voice before, she did not want to tempt some sort of horrendous fate (like alien invasion). Glaring at anyone who had been watching her interaction with Fuji, she headed for the clubroom as Fuji informed Tezuka of the matter.

Fuji meanwhile was watching on in amusement as Tezuka reprimanded Inui for his hazardous mixing of non-complimentary ingredients. Even he had found the drink to have a somewhat exceedingly spicy taste, but the refreshing feeling after had countered the taste. Not to mention he had always had a strong stomach.

"Inui, while your juices are a good motivation for the regulars to finish their exercises, they are no longer useful if they render the team useless," Tezuka reprimanded blankly.
"Ryoma's symptoms were evident before consumption occurred though..."
"All the more reason you shouldn't have given her the stuff" Fuji added, smiling at Tezuka slight narrowing of the eyes.

"In any case, she can barley stand up now. If this happens again, I will ban those juices Inui. What would have happened if this was an actual tournament?" Tezuka frowned, clearly not surprised Fuji and Inui were aware of their new rookie was a girl.

"That makes no sense… even if it interacted with other symptoms there shouldn't have been such and adverse side effect. If anything it should have aided in-"
"GET OUT MOMO-SEMPAI!"

Fuji's eyes snapped open, Inui scribbled furiously in his ever-present notebook, and Tezuka rubbed his temples in frustration.

Ryoma had removed her tennis shirt and shorts (she was to pick up her uniform later that day) when the door was opened by her concerned friend.

"Echizen are you alright? I heard Fuji-sempai saying you were going home early so I…" his jaw dropped at the sight of the vest and cycling shorts she wore under her normal tennis gear.

Once again, Ryoma grudgingly thanked her father's seemingly useless ingenuity for saving her from total embarrassment.

Unfortunately, for Momoshiro, Ryoma was in a very bad mood. Her stomach was killing her twice as much as it had been five minuets ago for some reason, and while her modesty had been somewhat saved, she was a little underdressed to be giving explanations.

"GET OUT MOMO-SEMPAI!" She yelled with as much force as her agonizingly painful stomach would allow her diaphragm to exude.

The poor boy turned on his heel and slammed the door with pure terror inscribed onto his face. Sighing in frustration, Ryoma realised she had probably exploded a bit more than was necessary.

She resolved to make it up to Momo by treating him to burgers for once. Her pay check had finally gone in, so money was no problem as might have been otherwise.

She took a bit longer than usual in pulling her uniform on - she was relishing the last day she had in it. Her deal with the old bat had been to adorn the green thing when her regular uniform was completed, and she would be wearing it tomorrow.

Opening the door, she found Momo under the scrutiny of two angry third years, and one scribbling one.

"Momo, it isn't nice to peek on people when theyre changing" Fuji said in an eerily calm manner that could not possibly be good.

Tezuka said nothing but his stonier-than-normal face informed Momo of his displeasure without words.

"It was an accident, I swear! I heard Fuji saying Inui-sempai's creepy juice-
"My juices are not creepy! They are healthy and nutritious!"
"-made Echizen sick so I just went to check up on him… her… him… oh god I'm so confused!" he wailed pulling on his hair with both hands.

"It's fine, I was just freaked out and kind of pissed off, and so I vented on Momo-sempai when he popped up out of no-where" Ryoma interjected, noting the look of unwavering gratitude he sent her with one eye.

Fuji's smile instantly returned to normal, and he walked back to the courts whistling, closely followed a still scribbling Inui.

"I'm sure you want an explanation Momo so I'll give you the job of making sure Echizen gets home without collapsing halfway" Tezuka stated before turning back to the courts himself, leaving his juniors to a stunned silence.

Momo stared at Ryoma for a while, trying to start his question but filed miserably. Giving instructions to wait for him, he headed into the clubroom to change his own clothes.

Deciding sitting down was far more comfortable than standing, Ryoma made herself comfy on the concrete to wait.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me you were a girl?" Momo raged in a friendly tone around a mouth-full of burger.

The sit down seemed to have done her good - Ryoma's stomach was no longer causing an internal blitzkrieg, allowing her to finally consume something for the first time that day since breakfast. She would probably regret choosing a burger for her meal later on, but she was starving now.

Momo had been placated by decidedly larger burger peace offering, and finally seemed to have regained his tongue in the process. Pity really, Ryoma had been enjoying the silence. However, her wallet had gone on something of a diet. She was glad to have her job at Mitsumaru's now

"You never asked. It's not like I was hiding it on purpose…" she replied, biting her own burger oozing with gooey cheese. For some reason it was calming her previously irate mood tremendously.

"You're wearing the boys' uniform!" here piled through several chips, pointing at the black jacket for emphasis.

"The old-bat said I could until my regular uniform was made, it's a lot comfier and warmer than the girls' is, and I hate that green thing they call a uniform here," Ryoma informed him with a pointed slurp of her grape fanta.

"Well, I guess that explains why you never changed in front of us… or used the showers." Momo grunted, biting into his third burger of the day.
"Actually the changing doesn't bother me so much; I have an older brother and the number of times he's ended up running around the house naked beggars belief" she corrected.

Momo stared at her in horror.

"Underwear is hardly going to scare me after that is it? But I draw a line at the showers."
"Thank god… "
"Aw, is Momo-sempai embarrassed that I've seen his undies?"
"You aren't cute at all! Girls shouldn't say that stuff so casually either!" he shook his head in disapproval, horrified by he blasé attitude.

Explanation or not, girls were not supposed to be so relaxed changing with boys around! They just were not! He could not believe her grandmother had even let her get away with it. Then again, their coach was somewhat whack-a-doodle at times.

"I'm not trying to be cute."
"See! Right there!"

"The design's a bit different from mine…" Momo noted, examining her regular jersey through the packaging.

While it had the same basic colour scheme, the design and the jersey itself had their differences to those worn by the current regulars. For one thing, it was not a zip-up, but a hooded pullover.

"That's because it's the girl's uniform you dolt. It's different to yours" Ryoma grunted, thanking god he had only taken interest in the jersey. The skirt was well hidden in her racket carrier.

They were looking for street courts to decide who would be giving up on their chance at the single's three spot, and Ryoma had taken the opportunity to pick up her uniform from Mitsumaru sports (Her boss had been positively gleeful when he realised it was hers).

"What? How come you aren't wearing our one?" he asked in confusion.
"Because the officials are chauvinistic tradionalists and they made a rule saying that I couldn't. Something about awareness, buts that's just a cover-up for sexism…" Ryoma grumbled.

Momo aptly decided it would be in his best interest to drop the subject, lest he somehow become the wrath-ventilation-system once again

They were passing by one of the local parks when Ryoma's ears caught the sound of tennis balls hitting a court up a flight of stone steps. Exchanging identical glances, they immediately mounted the steps and headed towards the sounds floating towards their ears.

At the top of the steps, they found the only court to be occupied, but that did not mean they could exercise patience. As Momo inquired over the price of a game (free), Ryoma noticed a girl with short reddish-brown hair, perhaps a year her senior, sitting on the benches.

At first, she passed the girl off as a run-of-the-mill player - only interested as a side hobby - but then she caught sight of her racket bag.

It lay slumped on the ground, so she clearly did not intend to play for the moment, but it was a big as her own. She instantly changed her opinion of the girl - you did not carry three rackets around for the fun of it.

The girl gave her a curious glance before grinning, seemingly noticing the presence of another female, and waving cheerily. Ryoma was considering responding when she was jerked back to the matter she had originally come for.

"Sorry, this court is for doubles games only!" a spiky haired boy informed them. Ryoma instantly disliked his tone of voice; he was demeaning her somehow and she knew it!
"Well, no point in standing around in our shorts is there?" Momo reasoned in a resigned tone.

Ryoma nodded.

As she did, her ears caught the words 'elementary schooler' from someone's lips.

Screw it; she was going to pummel these obnoxious idiots into the dirt! She would do it right-handed! Then ask Momo toe help her work out the stiffness in her play-hand just to spite them!

Then they would see who was an elementary schooler!

"Ready?" Momo asked. There was a grim look painted on his face. Ryoma gave an equally grim nod.

Both clenched their fists, and cried out simultaneously.

"Three! Two! One! Jan-Ken-Pon!"

Ryoma held her fist in the air as Momo's spread into a flat palm. She did not bother to suppress her growl of irritation when he smirked in victory. Grumbling, she entered the bookshop and headed towards the sports section trying to arouse as little attention as possible.

After several minuets searching (and one moment debating whether the embarrassment would be worth it), she finally picked a childishly bright book with large pictures and horribly simple diagrams titled 'doubles for beginners'.

Ignoring the giggles from two high shoolers, she dashed out of the shop as soon as the blasted book was officially paid for. It was harder to ignore Momo's snickers as she clambered onto the back of his bike, but she somehow managed it.

"Now we just need somewhere to practice" Momo frowned, kicking of from the pavement.

Ryoma was busy moving through her contact list, looking for one name in particular, but an inbuilt ability to multi-task (to some extent at any rate) allowed her to give him a legible solution.

"We can use the one at my house; I'll have to get the old man to turn the lights on at the shrine but I'm sure I can convince him…" Ryoma replied, still looking through her contacts menu.

"You can stay over in my brother's room if you want; that way we can practice later and get some early practice in tomorrow," she added.
"You have your own court? Why didn't you say that in the first place?" Momo raved, only remembering to hold onto the handlebars of the bike because of Ryoma's reminder.

"Because the lighting isn't all that great; I only mentioned it because we have one night to become experts in doubles and I hadn't played a doubles match before tonight…" Ryoma replied absently, having finally located the number she was looking for.

"You were serious? I thought you were joking! I can't believe- hey, who are you calling at a time like this? God damn it, what is it with you girls and your phones?" he objected, glancing over his shoulder to catch sight of the device being pressed to her ear.

"Shut up and keep your eyes on the damn road! I'm phoning someone who can save our asses from total humiliation tomorrow!" Ryoma growled, just as the call was picked up.

Detention bored Bunta Marui to the extent he was reduced to reading his accursed Latin textbook (which was really an actual book with no hints on how to translate the gibberish on the page).

He probably would have enjoyed it if it had not been in Latin - it had plenty of gory stuff in it. His love of gore was something only understood by his cousin, no one else understood what he found so interesting about it.

He had already completed the essay on misuse of his phone (though really, it was Ryoma's fault. He would not have been caught if she did not insist on madness), but he was dreading practice the next morning.

Sanada had yet to emerge from his pissy mood, and he had missed three afternoon practices because of that tight ass Latin teacher; he was going to die a horrible painful death and Yanagi would make it certain his body was never found.

So of course, when the source of all his problems called, he was less than pleased. Luckily the old bat had gone home favour the night. Bunta was not stupid enough to leave early; if she found out, he would die a death far worse than what his irritable vice-captain could dish out.

"You'd better have a damn good reason for calling Ryoma! So help me I'll bribe Aunt Rinko into making straight western food for a month!" he growled, irritations from the past few weeks voicing themselves in his pick-up.

Momoshiro wondered if the caller was usually this irritated when his passenger called; Ryoma held the phone away from her ear (preventing deafness) with practiced ease.

"So you did get detention… you have to stop swearing at your Latin teacher so much. Anyway, that's beside the point. I need some of your expertise"

There was a static reply that Momoshiro could not make out.

"Think of it this way; you can be as sadistic as you want since you think I'm at fault for your detentions, and I'll buy you that bubblegum, the apple stuff-"
"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?" the boy (as he was now identif

ied) yelled, his excitement evident. Ryoma, for her part, was massaging the ear that she had previously been using.

"Whatever, can you just hurry up and get to my house?"
"IAM?"

"Bunta, stop yelling, and stop yelling in Latin. That is why you keep getting detention! I don't understand a word you're saying," Ryoma grumbled, once again switching her ears.

There another quieter reply, before the mood that had been surrounding his female team-mate for the day suddenly returned with a vengeance.

"Because I will not be humiliated by two tennis wannabes and I am not a damn elementary schooler!"

Yet more muffled replies.

"I told you to stop speaking in Latin Bunta," Ryoma growled through dangerously gritted teeth.

There was more distorted conversation, but thanks to the receiver's general loudness, Momo could notice the slightly more hurried reply, even if he could not make out the words.

"Tomorrow"
"QUIS?"

"Will you give up with the Latin already?"

Keigo Atobe was feeling peckish. This was very unusual as Keigo kept to a very strict three meals a day programmed with designated snack-breaks. Thus, he could only believe Ryoma had gone and caused some sort of chaos again.

His suspicions were confirmed when he received a text from the afore mentioned chaos-causer's cousin.

From: .:Candy_Pop:.
To: .:Awesome-Prowess:.
Subject: Mutual Interest Gone Insane.

Ryoma just ordered me to teach her and one of her team-mates how to play doubles in one night (you are a bad influence Ape Lord).
I do not think I have to explain this any further.

Keigo was usually well behaved, always never taking up his grandfathers offers of whisky when he routinely asked at 8pm. His mother, after all, hated alcohol with a fiery passion and his ear would never be the same if he accepted.

When the old man asked, he swiftly took the offered glass and downed the burning liquid in one quick gulp.

Double update! Le Gasp!

Handy Latin Translator!
"IAM?"
"NOW?"

"QUIS?"
"WHAT?