Chapter Four:

Kenshin

I wish we weren't rushing to see Katsura. I wish we were planning this out... or at least requesting an audience first. Why does Ushiro have to rush everything?

I sighed, carefully shaving, trying very hard not to injure Ushiro's face. I'd already nicked him once. Only a small cut, so I was pretty sure he'd get over it. I frowned. Although he might lash out anyway. His temper was very near the surface right now, and he'd acknowledged that he could still feel the alcohol in his system. A good reason we should be waiting. I didn't like this. He needed to cool off before we spoke with our leader. I didn't want him to get himself into trouble.

I winced, cutting myself again. Why was it so difficult to shave hair off of his face? I could do just about anything else with a blade. Why couldn't I do this? Though I suspected it had less to do with my control of a blade and more to do with the fact that I was shaving an unfamiliar face with unfamiliar hands. Tense one muscle, move twice as far, half as quickly. It was confusing. And frustrating. I expected that the only reason I hadn't noticed this change while walking to and from my bedroom had been because I was trying to be so careful with his knee. Trying not to cause myself further pain and him further injury.

Ushiro-san, why didn't you just tell me that your knee hadn't healed yet? I could have spoken to Katsura about it. You could have been put on guard duty longer until you were actually ready for assignments. I sighed. I hoped that was the only problem. That he wasn't fully healed. I was worried that all of the walking he'd done the night I'd injured him had caused permanent damage. I clearly remembered the doctor warning of that possibility when I'd asked. Repeatedly.

Why couldn't you just listen to someone else for a change instead of being so stubborn?

I sighed, finally finished with the agonizing job of smoothing his face. Then again, if you weren't so stubborn, you wouldn't be yourself, would you?

And that brought our current problem back into sharp focus. How were we going to explain to Katsura that we were somehow, literally, no longer ourselves?

God, life would be so much easier if my Ushiro's strongest character traits weren't stubbornness and impatience. I paused, correcting myself. And courage. He certainly wasn't lacking in that, either. But that got him—no, us—into as much trouble as anything else. As did his concern for everyone but himself. That's what got us into this mess. The fact that he was fussing over me enough to force me go out drinking with him against my better judgment. It really was a wonder the man was still alive.

I stood carefully, using the wall for support as I eased myself up with my good leg. I'd have to figure out how he managed to do it without anyone knowing. I felt ridiculous having to use a support every time. Slowly, I made my way to the tray near the futon I'd rolled in the corner for him and found his comb, carefully pulling out tangles, and tying his hair up into a topknot. I picked up his katana, slipping the sword in its place at the himo of his hakama.

Ready.

I hoped he was. He was the one who was in such a rush to get this over with, after all.

I walked to the door, sliding it open and slipping into the hall; then walked the short distance between our rooms.

I paused uncomfortably a moment at the door, feeling how strange it was to be requesting entrance into my own room. Softly, I knocked, not risking saying his name. Hoping I wouldn't have to. A few men were in the halls now, and I didn't want to risk saying Ushiro's name while in his body. We didn't need people to think he was talking to himself.

It turned out that I needn't have worried. The door slid open immediately, and he stepped out, sliding the door shut quietly behind him. I stared a moment, surprised. He had dressed exactly like I usually did. Pulling out the correct gi that I typically wore on days I didn't work. His hair up in the same way I wore it. Only my katana at his side. How had he noticed all of those details? It wasn't as though he'd have had any reason to note them.

He even had managed to cover his ever present grin with a darker, more serious expression, although after a moment's observation, I got the eerie feeling that the look on his face was a true expression of his own feelings. And it unnerved me. Ushiro was not in general a serious man known for dark moods. It didn't feel right to see his expression so tense. I hadn't seen that look since we'd both been facing death at Satsuma's hands. Yes, this was a tricky situation we were currently in, but was it really worth that degree of worry?

He looked me over quickly, his only quiet response being, "Good." He sounded tired. "You should have left the katana, though." He pointed to the blade at my side. "Katsura will notice that. I only carry a wakizashi inside. I can't control a katana in here." He rested his hand on my own blade. "I'm hoping I won't have to attempt yours while we're stuck like this."

I nodded. "Yes, Ushiro-san." I doubted the katana would make that much difference to our leader. Occasionally men carried it inside, when they were planning on leaving soon. But, I didn't point that out to him. I was distracted by his tone of voice. "Is something wrong, Ushiro-san?"

He stared at me a moment, managing a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm in your body, Battousai-san," he responded softly. "I don't think we can get more 'wrong' than that." He motioned briefly down the hall. "Let's go get this over with."

I followed him to Katsura's meeting room in silence, wondering at this change that had come over the man. I didn't like any of this. At all. His ki was steady but tense. Intense enough to be bleeding into my own mood. It was stifling. This was different than with Satsuma, after all. This wasn't a fear, only a tired concern and a dark mood. Something I'd expect from anyone now and then. We all had those moods.

But I'd never before noticed it in Ushiro. Not once.

I stepped forward, lifting my hand to knock, when he shook his head and raised his own to stop me. "No. If he hears your voice, he's more likely to let us in. Even if he's busy."

Really? Did he think I had some special pull with our leader? That didn't even make sense.

He reached to the door and knocked with one sharp rap. "Katsura-san?"

A brief pause, and a response. "Himura-san." Silence for a moment. "Now isn't the best time. I trust this is important."

"Yes."

More silence. Followed by Katsura's mild, but abrupt response, "Come in then."

Ushiro slid the door open and entered, bowing deeply to our commander. I followed suit, sliding the door shut behind us. We both knelt before him.

Katsura sat at his table, his tea bowl and a large map set before him. His eyes traveled first to Ushiro, then to myself where they remained a moment. "Both of you?" He asked mildly, taking a sip of his tea. His eyes remained on me a moment longer. Setting the bowl down, he added. "And more heavily armed than usual," he motioned to the katana at my hip. "Is there a reason for that?"

I glanced at Ushiro. Damn. I hate it when he's right. A faint smile twitched at his lips, making him almost appear like his usual self. It faded quickly.

"Katsura-san," I replied softly, "we have a problem. We were hoping you could help." Why does he keep staring at me like this?

He nodded, carefully rolling the map, removing it from the table and setting it to the side. "A problem."

"Yes, Katsura-san." I replied.

Ushiro simply nodded, his eyes roving uncomfortably around the room.

Katsura studied us, taking another sip from the tea bowl, and finally setting it aside as well. "And can I assume that this problem has something to do with Ushiro-san's sword? Or the fact that Himura-san will not make eye contact with me, while Ushiro-san responds so politely?"

Ushiro's head snapped in our commander's direction. "Katsura-san? How—?"

The older man's sharp eyes were serious. "Or the fact that Himura-san has taken a Tosan accent?"

Ushiro fell silent, exchanging a glance with me. "You know?"

Our commander shook his head. "I only know what's in front of my face. What I'd like to know is how."

Ushiro broke eye contact once more, forcing me to respond. I'll have to return the favor later, I thought sourly. Taking a deep breath, I replied, "We aren't exactly sure. But..." I hesitated. "Somehow, when we woke up..." How to explain this realistically? "When I woke up I wasn't in the right room. We drank a little last night..." I paused, embarrassed. "Well, a lot... And, It's difficult to explain, Katsura-san, but—"

"We woke up in each other's bodies," Ushiro broke in, still staring intently at the window behind Katsura. "We somehow switched bodies. It doesn't make sense, but that's what happened. We were hoping you could help. Somehow."

I shot a glare at him. At least he had explained succinctly. But had it been necessary for him to be so abrupt. In my body?

Katsura said nothing, reaching for his tea and sipping at it again.

"Katsura-san?" I asked quietly, hoping for a response. Even a simple acknowledgement that we'd spoken.

Apparently Ushiro had finally snapped out of his quiet mood, because he didn't even bother waiting. "Katsura-san, did you hear any of that?"

Our commander set his teacup down with a sharp clink, his eyebrow twitching briefly. "Of course I heard it."

Ushiro's eyebrows raised. "And?"

"And..." His voice was the sort of calm that always made me uncomfortable. Like the calm before a storm. "And do you honestly expect me to believe that you two got drunk and switched bodies?"

I winced at how ridiculous it sounded when put so bluntly.

Ushiro, however, didn't seem to care. "With all due respect, Katsura-san, you're having trouble believing this, but Kenshin traveling through time was no problem?"

I just stared at my partner. Had he lost his mind? What on earth was he talking about? "Traveling through—"

I wasn't given a chance to finish. Both Ushiro and Katsura snapped, "Forget it," leaving an almost tangible tension in the air.

Ushiro still more drunk than I'd thought. That was the only explanation. And Katsura really didn't need to know that. Already, he was earning an uncomfortably sharp look from our commander.

I broke in before Ushiro could say anything to get himself into worse trouble. "Katsura-san, please. You have to help us."

He raised an eyebrow. "And what exactly do you expect me to do about it?"

I looked down at my folded hands. "I was hoping you'd be able to answer that, Katsura-san."

He sighed deeply, and I glanced back up at him. He was rubbing his temples, eyes closed. "I'm getting tired of the horrible things that happen when you two are around," he muttered under his breath.

I blinked, startled at the comment, "Katsura-san?"

"So you started drinking and 'switched bodies'?"

We nodded.

Katsura sent us both an assessing look. His eyes fell on Ushiro and remained there as he sent my partner a penetrating look. "And whose idea was that?" It was obvious that he already knew.

Ushiro was staring straight ahead, not appearing to be looking at anything. Just staring. "It was mine, Katsura-san."

That strange twitch of the eyebrow again, though our commander didn't appear surprised. I wouldn't have been either, in his place. Ushiro acted before thinking. Not always a bad thing, but certainly not always good either.

I didn't, however,expect Katsura's immediate reaction. His voice was sharp and cold. His expression hard. "You are not to start drinking again, Ushiro-san. I have been clear on this before. You know what the consequences are. I am not tolerating a recurrence of past behavior. Is this understood?"

Past behavior? Again? I turned to look at Ushiro who was kneeling stoically, still making eye contact with no one. "Of course, Katsura-san. I gave you my word, and I meant it. This was a lapse in judgment."

I stared, puzzled, the current exchange lost on me. Many of the men drank. Several, on their off days drank a lot. Though Katsura disapproved, I had never heard of him repremanding any of them so harshly. And now, even though I had drunk as much as Ushiro, only he got the lecture...

"Again," Katsura had said... Had this happened before?

Ushiro's stiff response, seemed to be enough for Katsura-san for the moment. His expression was still dark, and his eyes lingered on Ushiro-san a moment longer before he responded, "What did you two do last night? Besides drink?"

Ushiro shook his head. "Neither of us remembers, Katsura-san. We've tried working it out already. We couldn't, and that's why we came to you."

Katsura sighed. "Did you at least have enough sense to stay here? Can you remember that much?"

I shook my head, wincing, feeling my stress over this whole situation hitting a peak. Ushiro responded, "Yes" at the exact same time I replied tensely, "No. We left."

He turned to stare at me, eyes widening, eyebrows raised in surprise. "Wait... no? You didn't tell me that! Why the hell did we leave the inn?"

And his outburst was my breaking point. I hadn't even realized I was so close or else I would have controlled myself better, but it was too late now. "I don't know! I just remember leaving. I got drunk after that, remember? Why do you think I've been so upset over this?"

"I thought it might be because we switched bodies!"

"Enough!" Katsura's voice silenced us, and we both turned to him, appearing, I'm sure, like two children being caught bickering by our father. His hands were palms down on the table, there was an irritated flash in Katsura's eye that I'd never seen before. "Arguing isn't going to solve anything. If you even want a chance to fix this problem, you're going to need to work it out together, because right now I can only think of one solution."

I leaned forward eagerly, uncertain as to why Ushiro just covered his face with his hand.

"You can both go back to your rooms and get drunk again."

"Katsura-san!" I burst out, losing it completely. This was too much. "Are you serious?"

Ushiro unexpectedly whapped me upside the head. "Of course he isn't," he snapped. But at Katsura's lack of agreement, he shot our commander a suspicious look. "You aren't, are you? Not with me, at least?"

I glared at Ushiro, not even waiting for the answer. "You hit me," I snapped.

"You should be grateful that it was you smacking you rather than me smacking you. I'm bigger than you... usually," was his only response.

I shot him a vicious glare, rubbing the back of my head. "I could make you smack you." The man was impossible sometimes.

Katsura cleared his throat, reminding us of his presence, and causing us both to fall silent. "You have approximately one week to figure something out. Otherwise you're going out together on a mission in whatever shape you find yourselves in at that time, and you can figure out how to fight between the two of you... I need my best to run someone out of Kyoto. Soon."

I'd have sworn I heard him mutter under his breath, "Unfortunately this is my best." But I was too stunned to respond. By the sound of it, we had less than a week to get this worked out. And not even Katsura knew how to do it...

Author's Note: Gasp! Shock! Yes, I updated something that isn't from "Sorcerer's Apprentice". I'm still alive in the Kenshin fandom! I promise I didn't desert, but after watching "Sorcerer's Apprentice" twice (and falling in love with Balthazar Blake), my muse has been a bit split. So bear with me. I'll be swinging back and forth for awhile.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. A big thanks to lolo popoki, sueb262, and Shirou Shinjin for their beta work. And a big thanks to all of you for reading (and maybe reviewing) ^ _ ^;

Dewa mata.

Sirius

P.S. Almost forgot. For those of who are fans of "Charlie the Unicorn" on youtube... I have a little tribute to the Charlie saga in here. Katsura's comment about the horrible things that happen when when those two are around was actually a quote from Charlie when referring to the blue and pink unicorns. Sueb262 pointed out how appropriate it would be, and I was amused with the idea enough to add it.

Enjoy. Or at least, don't hit me with anything!