Chapter 4 Whatever it takes

Kelly and Donna pulled up to Brenda's house. "Come on Don, she hasn't answered her phone in a week. I am worried about her, with this stuff with Dylan and the doctor I have never seen her like this." Kelly said concerned.

"Oh come on Kel, Brenda isn't one to mope around, I am sure she is fine, she probably hasn't answered her phone because she is busy, or maybe she just doesn't want to talk to you." Donna smiled at Kelly.

"Shut it, come on." Kelly raised her hand and knocked loudly on her front door.

"Brenda? Its me, open up." Kelly called out

"Come in." She heard Brenda call out from inside.

Kelly opened up the door and looked around Brenda's living room to find Brenda laying on the couch. Donna and Kelly both looked sadly down at their friend.

"Who died?" Donna said as she looked around the room. "Where did all these flowers come from?"

"Guess." Brenda replied.

Donna shook her head, "He does this kind of stuff, remember he did this when Gina.." Donna stopped.

Brenda sat up and looked at Donna, "Uh Gina." Brenda gave them a disgusted look.

"Tell me about it." Kelly said as she sat next to her. "How are you feeling?"

Brenda shrugged, "I was feeling good then this shit started." Brenda looked around at the flowers and down at all the cards that came with them laying across her coffee table. Donna kneeled down on the floor and picked a couple up. She began to read them aloud.

Bren, I miss you, I love you, call me.

Bren, I am sorry

Bren, please let me explain

Bren, I am sorry about everything, I know I cant take it back.

Brenda, I love you, I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, I just wanted to say I am sorry.

"Oh God, I am sorry." Donna felt uncomfortable reading the last one. "What's this?" she picked up what looked like a poem.

With you the earth was a bed of grass, we slept in it like two seeds, With you I was more than I am, your mouth, the sun, made everything possible. I burn with the love that I lost when I lost you.

"It's a poem by Jack Grapes, Dylan read it to me once during a poetry reading when we were in our romantic poetry class, he read it and said it reminded him of me when I almost married Stuart." Brenda said running her fingers through her hair.

Kelly smiled uncomfortably, she was always worried about Dylan and Brenda in that class. And now after all these years it was confirmed something was going on with the two of them. "Its pretty." She lied

"Hi Donna by the way." Brenda gave her a half smile and hugged her. "How's David and the baby?"

Donna nodded, "Good…good they are both good. You ok?"

"Yeah" Brenda sighed, "Kel, tell Dylan to stop sending me this stuff."

"I would but I haven't seen him. He stayed at my house the first couple of nights but he did what he does best, he left. It only took about 10 minutes of him staying there for us to start fighting. He went to Baja, said he hadn't been there in years and wanted to go surfing."

Brenda slightly smiled at the thought of Baja, "Ah good old Baja, the beginning of the end."

Kelly and Donna looked at each other, "Come on, get up"

"No, I don't want to go anywhere."

"Brenda, you are going to get your ass in the shower, throw on some clothes and come have lunch with us." Kelly said in a stern voice.

"yep, we aren't taking no for an answer." Donna smiled.

"Sammy is at Donna's with David and we are kid less and there is a mega burger with your name on it….AND you don't have to worry about running into him because he isn't in town." Kelly got up lending her hand to help Brenda off the couch.

"Ok…ok I'll go, just cause it will make you guys shut up." Brenda smiled as she made her way to the bathroom.

"See I told you." Kelly said as she started cleaning up the notes off the table, reading through some of them as she picked them up.

"Yeah you were right, she is bad."

"Did you read some of these, god he has it bad." Kelly said thumbing through them.

Donna nodded, "I know, we shouldn't read them, they seem pretty private."

"I mean listen to this…..

I cant get through the days without you. Please forgive me.

Its never too late to make it right

I'll do whatever it takes, to turn this around, I know what's at stake, I know I let you down. But if give me a change, I'll keep us together, whatever it takes.

"I think that's a song." Donna said thinking.

I was just thinking about that time on the pier when we went fishing our freshman year, I wanted you back so badly but you turned me down. The wind blowing in your hair, I missed you so much when you went to Minnesota. That night in the car when we were on our way home from Palm Springs, I didn't tell you the truth, that I was still in love with you. You told me you never had gotten over me, and that you couldn't fall in love with someone else cause you were still in love with me. I was in love with you, I always was. I know you still love me Brenda.

Kelly looked up at Donna, "we were together when he went fishing with Brenda and when he picked her up in Palm Springs."

"Kelly…..stop reading them, they are private." Donna said taking them out of Kelly's hands.

"I know but when we were together?" Kelly was getting mad.

"Kel, not now, its not about you."

"Ok ok I know." Kelly cleared some thrown tissues from the floor and Brenda came out, showered and ready to go.

"Ready?" Donna said smiling.

"Yeah" Brenda nodded as they left for the peach pit.

"Want to sit inside or outside?" Donna said as they came to the entrance.

"Inside, it looks more crowded outside." Kelly said

They walked in and found an empty table. "Hey Nat." Kelly called out as all three girls waved.

"I still cant get used to this place." Brenda said as she hung her jacket on the back of her chair before sitting down.

"I know right" Donna agreed, "But it looks like business is good."

They all nodded in agreement. Kelly looked up and made eye contact with Dylan.

"Shit" Kelly whispered

"What?" Brenda said looking at her.

"I am sorry Brenda." as she looked over in the direction of the front door.

Brenda looked over and saw him, looking away from his stare quickly but noticed him start to walk over .

"Great." Brenda said under her breath.

"We can go, if you want Brenda." Donna said

"No its fine. I am a big girl." Brenda said as she noticed him standing by their table.

"Hey girls." Dylan said.

"I thought you were in Baja." Kelly said looking up at him.

"I got back last night. Bren, can I talk to you?"

Donna cut in, "Dylan it isn't a good time, maybe later."

"Bren?" Dylan ignored Donna butting in.

Brenda swallowed hard and looked up at him, "Sure. I will be back."

Kelly and Donna shrugged looking at each other. As Brenda got up and followed Dylan outside.

"What?" Brenda stopped and crossed her arms.

"Did you get my flowers, the notes?" Dylan said looking deep into her eyes.

"Yeah, I got them. It didn't change anything but thank you."

"Look Brenda, I know I cant change the past, but cant we start over, cant you let me prove it to you." Brenda looked at Dylan, he looked like he hadn't slept in days. She had flashbacks of the first time they had broken up and how heart broken he was.

Brenda looked down, "I don't think so."

"Walk with me Bren, please."

"Walk where?" Brenda said confused.

"Somewhere…I don't want to do this here."

"Ok…ok" Brenda shrugged.

The two began walking down the busy street lined with shops and tourists.

"I love you Bren."

"I know." Brenda put her hands in her pockets and looked straight ahead.

"I need you, I want you."

Brenda closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"You cant just cut me out of your life, I am sorry about London and about lying to you. I don't know why I went and more importantly why I lied about it.

"I do, because you were still in love with Kelly."

"That wasn't it, I didn't even tell them I was there. I came back to you in London thinking they got married, I guess after all that time I just needed to see it to get closure and know that it was over and she was marrying Brandon."

Brenda stopped walking and looked at him, listening intently, "I could see that, but you still left and moved back here and lied about it to her."

"You weren't even talking to me, you were always working. I thought you wanted to end it but didn't have the guts to do it."

Brenda shook her head, "No I wanted you to prove you loved me and I wasn't a rebound or a safe house because of Toni."

Dylan shook his head, "You weren't Bren, after Toni died I was drowning, I knew you were the only person who could pull me out."

"I know." Brenda felt bad even bringing Toni up, she knew it was a sore subject and Dylan did truly did love his late wife. And Brenda couldn't be jealous about it because she moved away and left him. She was actually thrilled, thankful and touched he came to her.

"Please Brenda, lets start over."

"Do you hear us talk? We have so much history and its so complicated, we cant just forget and start a new, it doesn't work like that Dylan, if it did I would do it in a second."

"It could be like that if we just wiped the slate clean." Dylan pushed her hair behind her ear.

"What about Sammy? Brenda said nonchalantly

"What about Sammy? Dylan said confused.

"Don't you think it sucks for me you are permanently connected to Kelly for the rest of your lives. And to top it off I cant even give you any of our own. How am I suppose to deal with that?" Brenda said as her eyes began to tear.

"We can adopt, plus Brenda there are things we can try, fertility meds, Invitro there are tons of things now a days." Dylan said setting his hands on the top of her arms.

"Are you serious? You would do that for me?" Brenda said shocked at the thought.

"Of course I would. I love you." Dylan pulled Brenda into his embrace.

Brenda closed her eyes as she felt him close to her, for a second she almost gave in.

"I can't Dylan." She whispered as she pulled away from him. "We can be good friends. I don't want to cut you out of my life, I could never do that."

"Bren, we are good as friends, but we are better as lovers." Dylan said as he leaned in and gently kissed her lips.

"We should get back." Brenda said as she looked at him as she pulled away.

Dylan sadly nodded, "ok but say we can do something tonight, can I come over? I'll bring dinner, a movie?" Dylan said sincerely.

Brenda thought about it taking a deep breath, "Ok, let me finish lunch with the girls and come by later. Bring your stuff, you can stay with me."

Dylan eyes got wide, "Really?"

"I have two extra rooms, yes separate rooms, plus….I know you don't want to stay with Kelly." Brenda smiled

Dylan shook his head, "Uh ah, I couldn't do it, I had to escape down to Baja. Something's never change." Both looked at each other and laughed.

"I want to go to Baja." Brenda said smiling.

Dylan raised his eyebrows, "That could be arranged." Brenda playfully hit Dylan in the chest. Dylan wrapped his arm around her pulling her close, Brenda rested her head on his chest as they walked back to the Peach Pit.

No Brenda isn't taking him back already, but they had some things to work out and deep down you know she cant stay mad at him or write him off like that. Especially with the revelations he made about the past in his notes and bringing up past stuff, also I think Brenda was a sucker for the baby talk too, not hacving children is going to be something we will go in furthur. What Dylan was trying to accomplish worked so to speak.