- Depression is not a sign of weakness, but of strength -
He knows it's nearly time.
So he cleans his room and makes an inventory of all his stuff. It's almost therapeutic, if it weren't for the fact that he's constantly sweeping off his own dust every time he touches something.
Papyrus thinks long and hard about who to give what to. He knows Undyne would enjoy his cool race car bed and Alphys adores his many action figures. He can give most of his Mettaton merchandise to Frisk, who has become quite the avid fan over time. His books should probably go to the king or queen.
But he doesn't know what to give Sans.
Except maybe an apology.
Undyne invites him over for one, final cooking lesson.
They haven't been together with just the two of them for a long while without there being either angry yelling or awkward silence, and Papyrus almost doesn't want to go.
But after everything that he has done to her, he knows he can't deny her this.
So he goes and they sit and drink tea that Papyrus thinks is too sweet, but he doesn't complain.
Then they cook, exactly like they did countless times before, but nothing explodes for once, and he's unsure whether he should be relieved or disappointed.
Melancholy is strange like that.
The spaghetti tastes horrible anyway and they dump it out the window, steam rising up to fog over the glass as Undyne sits behind her piano and plays for him.
Papyrus brought his violin, but his hands are too far gone for him to decently play it anymore.
"Then why did you bring it?" Undyne asks, playing something she's never played before. He wants to ask her if she composed it for him but is too scared to know the answer.
"Because I always do." He answers.
She laughs and tells him how silly that is while her voice cracks with grief. She'll miss that, she says, his silliness, picking up that same tune again and Papyrus can tell she made it for him.
He hopes it will bring her comfort once he is gone.
He's marking his calendar again, but this time he's counting down instead of up. He's not nearly as nervous as he thought he would be.
He's not nearly as excited either.
He's just empty.
Sans asks him to go to town with him, and he can't say no. Even if it has become almost unbearable to walk and talk and smile.
They meander past polished windows, looking at model cars and little plastic rockets while Sans makes jokes and Papyrus tries not to fall down.
They get ice-cream because it reminds them of Snowdin, of home, and sit on a bench to eat, laughing at the weird stares of humans still unaccustomed to their existence.
"When have we stopped doing these kind of things together?" Sans wants to know, and Papyrus doesn't have an answer.
He simply can't remember.
The wind blows strongly as they walk home, so Papyrus makes sure to remember Sans to zip up his hoodie.
He wonders who will take care of Sans like this after he's gone.
With a bit of effort, he can almost forget what loneliness felt like.
He has been trying for so long, who knew that all he needed to do to get some damn attention, was die properly.
Apparently there is a list of movies everyone should see before they die. Alphys shows him, and then they sit down to marathon them. She assures him she narrowed them down to 'only the really good ones' and Papyrus doesn't ask why they're all animated.
She asks him if it hurts a lot and he tells her the truth.
Then Undyne joins and Frisk happens to come and visit and Sans arrives home early and they all just keep watching.
It's probably the longest movie night they will ever have, and Papyrus is glad he was still around to join it.
He writes a note, he writes several notes, but the words are lacking so he throws them out. Frisk offers to lend him a camera, but Papyrus says it wouldn't feel right.
Silence almost seems a preferable option, but he knows that would be beyond cruel.
There has been enough left unsaid between the two of them.
This can't be yet another thing they take to their graves.
It's Asgore who actually comes up with the idea. Summer is fading fast, probably faster than Papyrus is at this point. It makes sense to take advantage of the last few days of warmth and sunshine.
Toriel bakes a pie and Undyne brings the blankets and Papyrus gets to drive them all.
It's a beautiful day outside, birds are singing and flowers are blooming. On days like these, it almost makes sense to die.
They sit in the shade of trees barely starting to change color and count butterflies. Frisk shows them all how they can skip a rock on the lake up to three times, impressing everyone.
Sans asks Papyrus what he wants for his birthday, since that will be coming up in just a few more weeks.
"This." He says. "I want this to last forever."
His brother laughs, as if it was a joke, so he laughs too.
Frisk has brought a camera and asks if they should take a picture. It's one of those fancy ones that can take photos all on its own, without anyone pressing the button. Papyrus got it for them at the beginning of summer.
They huddle together, Frisk wants to sit on his lap and Papyrus lets them. Sans lays one hand on his shoulder, like when he was little. Despite the sun, he feels colder than ever before.
But he smiles, calling on years of faking happiness to come across as genuine now. The Great Papyrus wouldn't want any less for his final photograph.
At least a little piece of them together like this will last forever.