So here it is, enjoy.

A sick thought can devour the body's flesh more than fever or consumption- Gut de Maupassant

I feel sick- sick to have these thoughts, these feelings. I'm no saint, not by a long shot but this is too much, she's too innocent. She's not just some other girl that I flirt with, she's more than that, she means more than that.

I am Eve and she is the forbidden fruit I should not eat, but just like Eve I so want to and I fear that I will commit that unforgivable sin.

Forbidden.

She is forbidden and I shall not break this unforgivable rule.

Still here,

-Scotty

She walks in front of me chattering mindlessly as she drags me on my board behind her. By the time we pass through the school gates, my foot hadn't touched the ground once since I stopped by Miley's house this morning.

I wave to Charlie as we pass and he seems so much more cheery these past few weeks.

Probably because I haven't been me since Miley showed up.

My stomach twists painfully. I have changed a lot since she came into my life, and I don't know if I like it.

For so long I have been living, no not living, surviving a certain way and every thing I did is what defined me as me. If I don't do any of the things I used to, or act the way I always have, does Miley really know me? Do I even know myself? Who am I?

I have become very dependent on her, like everything I do suddenly revolves around her.

I look around me and realize that no one is flinching away when they see me looking; they just smile and continue on with whatever they were doing.

I release Miley's hand and roll on my own, finally realizing how drastically me behavior really changed.

Miley doesn't know the real me, the me from before.

When she looks back at me in confusion, I wave her on.

Then I slowly skate forward like I used to, giving a flirtatious smile at anyone who would meet my eyes.

As I pass one girl, I hook onto the front of her shirt and pull her close to me, close enough to whisper suggestive words into her ear and then glide away smirking at her red face.

Time Skip to After 3rd Period

I'm brooding next to the lockers while Oliver and Miley chat animatedly together. I try hard not to stare at her shiny and so very kissable lips; I try hard not to pull her into my body and-

I glare harder at the girl who has changed almost everything about me in only a few weeks. In only a few weeks, I had told her everything about me and more than anyone else has ever known, including Oliver. It's like the walls I had worked so hard to build up, were nothing but paper to her.

And not even regular paper; that super ultra thin paper that you use to stuff in present bags!

A gentle hand being set on my shoulder stops my stream of mental curses short.

A cocky smirk immediately replaces my scowl as I turn to face the girl who I had suggestively whispered to before the first bell.

I lean forward to brace myself against the locker, placing my elbow above her head. Looking her up and down, I bring our faces to just two inches apart.

She's not a bad looking girl, not at all, but I had come to like a girl who wears jeans and well-fitted T's.

"Hello there." I whisper bringing our lips closer, still. I watch is satisfaction as a blush rises past her collar and to her face. "What can I do for you, or rather, will you let me do to you?"

Her swallow is both loud, and noticeable.

"I-I don't do that kind of stuff if I'm not in a relationship."

A smile curves my lips. She just makes this too easy. "Well of course I would take you to dinner first, who would be so rude as to treat a lady like that? Now after, that's a different story."

"W-what about your g-girlfriend?" She glances over to Miley and I follow her gaze involuntarily. She looks on at us with shock, confusion, and... disgust?

There, there it is. My smile turns from cocky, to cruel. Well this is the real me, let's see how well she likes this true version. I turn back to the girl caged between my arms and lockers.

"Miley? She was just a toy to play with, an experiment. She's too innocent to taint." The last sentence was unintended.

"Okay. Tonight at eight? At Freddy's?" She squeaks.

"Perfect. So why did you come over?" I ask.

"Oh, um... I-I forgot." I grin as her cheeks darken.

Bringing my lips closer, just brushing her earlobe, I say, "I'll see you tonight Becca, and I promise I'll make it worth your while." Then I pull away.

I give a mental victory when I get her name right.

"Alright." She again squeaks and hurries away to her giggling friends. It's weird; sometimes I think this a gay school, though people will settle for anyone in a relationship. Well, I guess that's California for you.

I turn my grin to Oliver and Miley, both who are staring at me in disbelief.

"What was that?" Oliver demands.

"I got a date."

"I heard. Why?" I look at him in confusion.

"Because I can."

"But that's not you anymore! That hasn't been you in over a month!"

My eyes harden and my guards come up. "This is me Oliver, you know that. I'm no different than I was a year ago."

"But you are!" He continues to insist. "You have changed; for the better!"

"Lilly, what's goin' on with you, you know you can tell us anything right?" Miley asks in a concerned voice.

"Nothing is going on." I snap at her and she recoils. "You haven't seen the real me yet, and this is it. I'm a freak who flirts, gets in trouble all the time, gets in fights, ditches, goes out with a new person whenever she wants, who smokes all alone on her back porch every night, and lets other people tare her down but doesn't give a fuck because there is nothing left to tare down. I'm not some charity case for you to take pity on and try to fix. I don't need to be fixed, I don't need yours or anyone's pity, and I sure as hell don't need to be changed."

I know my words are harsh but I can't seem to stop them. "Just forget everything I told you, it was a mistake, and I was high, and I wasn't thinking straight. You don't need to be brought into my mess of a life and if I were you, I would get out as quick as I can. Someone like you shouldn't have to handle or deal with people like me, you might become just as fucked up."

I turn to Oliver. "I'm sorry for ruining your chances of a friend." Then I turn on my heel and march into the lunchroom, leaving the two dumbstruck people behind me.

I find Becca in the cafeteria and pull her into my lap, too upset to eat anything myself, which is a first I might add.

Surprisingly, Miley and Oliver come in behind me and take a seat at our usual table, hunched over and talking urgently. I know they're talking about me because they keep shooting worried glances my way.

I guess I hadn't scared her off yet.

I turn back around to Becca's friends and set my head on her shoulder, letting my fingers trail up and down her thigh.

Maybe things do need to change, it just wont be for the better. I let my hand travel higher than it normally would and dip it to squeeze the inside of her leg.

I catch Oliver staring at my hand before flicking his eyes to meet mine. Understanding shadows his face. He knows what I'm going to do tonight.

I feel the girl above me shudder and I grin. Putting my lips to her neck and sucking a little, I hear a gasp escape her. I whisper in her ear, " Can't wait for tonight, you have no idea what I'm going to do to ya."

I slip out from under her and make my way out the lunchroom doors as the bell rings.

My mind races with thoughts, revolving completely around a certain burnet. I can feel her eyes on me sitting class, staring, staring, staring.

A story whirls inside my brain, itching to be caught on paper and my hands franticly grope for one and a pen.

The sheet I finally clout in front of me is used, littered with familiar eyes that make my skin itch and they're staring, staring, staring, as well. Staring, staring, staring, as I write over them in hast to capture my agony and sickness on something solid.

And I'm sick. So, so, so, sick because of what I feel. It's suck a sick thought to want someone so innocent.

Sick, I feel sick.

Maybe if I go all the way tonight, I will really be so dirty it isn't even a possibility for me to get near her.

My heart races as I scribble words onto the paper, hardly realizing what passes through my mind, much less the paper. I don't notice the bell's shrill ringing or when the classroom clears or even when the teacher watches me curiously. I do, however, notice her hesitating at my desk, and I'm sure that she catches the sight of her staring, staring, staring, eyes right back at her.

Twenty minutes into the next class, I sign Scotty with a flourish and shove the multitudes of paper back into my bag and launch myself from my chair.

I push my way past my silent teacher and shove a white slip into Oliver's locker and, after a long hesitant moment, one into Miley's as well.

Then I run out the school doors, desperate to cool my flustered skin. Ignoring Charlie's schedule, I jog to the weak point in the fence and slip through, disregarding his calls for me to come back.

I take off running and find myself at the abandoned beaches and I drop my bag into the white powdered sand, surging forward, plunging into the frigid waves.

The water wraps and pounds against me, plastering my clothes to my goose bumped skin and I revel at the numbness taking hold.

The salty ocean whitecaps crash into my body while icicle-like water sprays my face.

The currents tug me, pull me, beg me to follow them into its depths...

But my skin is no longer aflame, quenched by the ocean's merciful freeze.

I stumble out of the sea on numb legs and snag my forgotten backpack into my arms and make my way home.

When I get into the house, I'm greeted with the sound of clanging and banging from the kitchen. A woman appears in the doorway, eyes bloodshot and swaying, clearly drunk.

"Mom?" I gasp. She always comes home when I'm asleep, and leaves before I get up; I hadn't actually seen her in months.

"You bitch." She slurs taking a step forward with a bottle clenched tightly in her hand.

When she gets close enough, she swings it with all her drunken strength. It hits me hard in the cheek with enough force to knock me to the ground. My eyes burn with involuntary tears from the blow, but I quickly blink them away.

"It's your fault!" She screams, making me flinch. I drag myself to my feet and this time, catch her wrist when she takes another swing at me.

Am I just running is circles?

I pull her into me as she screams profanities into my shirt and lead her to the couch. I stroke her hair gently as she tries to continue hitting me, which I take with ease.

"It's your fault he's dead!"

"I know mom, shh, I know it is." I sooth her and eventually she passes out.

My body is numb more than ever, hardly feeling the bruises that are staring to form.

I go up to my bathroom and turn the shower all the way hot, then step into the scorching stream without bothering to shed any clothes.

The immense contrast of temperature burns my skin to where it almost feels like ice.

I gasp and brace myself against the wall as my skin twitches and begs for me to jump out of the water. Finally, when the tingling stops, I take off my sodden clothes, turn the knob all the way right, and step out of the shower.

The condensation is so thick in the air it makes if hard to such in a deep breath. Even after I rub myself dry, steam still wisps off my heated skin.

I drag my hand across the fogged mirror and curse at what I see.

"Shit." I touch my black and blue cheek and wince at the needle like pin-prickles of 's going to be a bitch to cover up.

I shrug, deciding to just play it off as something I got in a fight.

Sighing, I walk out of my bathroom with nothing but my towel, freezing at the sight of a girl sitting on my bed.

A blush rises to Miley's cheeks when she sees me, but her expression is immediately replaced by concern.

"What happened?" She launches herself off my bed to hover at my side, eyes raking over my body. Even though I know that she is just studying the discoloration on my arms, I shudder.

When her fingers brush my skin, I cringe away from her.

"I got into a fight." I say and push past her to shuffle through my drawers in search of clean clothes.

"And they actually got a hit on you?" She follows after me until I shut the bathroom door back in her face.

"I can't win every fight." I reason, tugging on a long sleeved shirt. I walk back out the door pulling a brush through my hair.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting ready for my date." I reply in the same sassy tone.

"You're hurt, you should stay in bed." She argues.

"If I stay in bed every time I got beat, I would have never left this house until two years ago." I snap and almost regret it when she visibly recoils at my tone. "Where are my damn shoes?" I growl in frustration.

I sigh, giving up for the moment and turn to her.

"Why are you here Miley?"

I watch in hidden amusement, as her cheeks grow darker in color.

"Um.." She shifts uncomfortably. "Oliver told me that you were planning to, uh..."

I interrupt so she doesn't have to say the repulsive word.

"Have sex tonight? Lose my virginity? Give myself away; sell my soul? Well, for the first time, Oliver is right about something. Congratulations to him.

"But, why?"

"Is Oliver right? I don't know, it's surprising to me too-"

"No, why would you give yourself to someone who you don't even know?"

I grab her wrist and pull her so close our faces are inches apart. My heart pounds but I put on a cocky smirk.

"And I suppose you think that you know me? Because I hate to break it to you Miley, but you don't." I bring out faces even closer. "But you are more than welcome to take me instead; just be gentle."

"Stop it!" She shoves me away from her hard and I smile something cruel. She's angry, just like I hoped. "What's wrong with you, this isn't you!"

I laugh and continue searching for my shoes that I find kicked under my bed.

"Why isn't it? Does what you see disgust you? Does it crawl under your pretty little skin and make you want to vomit?" I stand and walk towards her. I brush my fingers along her cheek and down her neck, speaking softly now, but with no less cruelty. My chest aches a little when she cringes away.

"Do I make you sick yet? Do you hate me as much as I hate myself? Does the disgust eat at you from the inside out and you can't wait to get away? Do you see me yet?"

I step away from her horrified silence and turn to my bedroom door. "You might want to let yourself out before my mom wakes up, she wont take kindly to a strange girl in the house. But who knows, maybe she'll like you more than me."

I exit the room and go down the stairs, past my snoring mother, and out the front door.

The sun was just beginning to set, but I still have several hours before my date.

My blood was once again pounding through my veins in both despair and victory. Maybe now she'll stay away; see how tainted I really am. She is the one sin I must not commit.

Eight o'clock finds me meeting Becca at Freddy's, a small local diner, with a grin set in place. We are soon shown to our seats.

My stomach squirms uncomfortably at the prospect of what I'm going to be doing later, mainly because she thinks I'm this experienced person in bed when, in reality, I have never even pleasured myself, let alone anyone else.

Ignoring this, I run my hand up her leg and lean towards her ear.

"Why don't we get out of here? I'm board." I fake pout, when really; I can't wait to just get this over-with.

She blushes and stands, pulling me along by my hand.

We walk past a few shops and turn a corner when I suddenly find my back pressed into and alley wall and a pair of soft lips fiercely pressed into mine.

I kiss back immediately when I feel a tongue push past my lips and tangle with mine. I pull her closer and feel the first signs of arousal as she rubs a knee between my legs non-too gently.

"Your flirting is so hot." She whispers against my mouth, a completely different person that only minutes before.

Removing my lips from hers, I attach them to her neck, sucking and running my tongue over the soft skin there.

About right now is when I usually pull back with an excuse readily on my tongue, but I promised myself I would go all the way tonight.

So instead, I pull her closer, grinding my hips into her but my arousal stops cold when a muffled scream catches my attention.

I pull back, panting slightly, and look toward the lights of the stores.

Becca, oblivious, starts sucking on my neck, hard.

"Stop." I push her away. "What's that?"

"I don't hear anything." She mumbles returning to my neck.

Again, I hear that muffled shriek. I step away from my date, not even hearing her complaints.

"If you leave now, I'm going home." She tells me.

"Lilly!" I hear, almost like a reflexive shout, and I break into a run, out of the dark alley and into the light of the street lamps.

"Miley?" I ask and follow the scuffling noises to a neighboring side road.

What I see makes anger sear through my veins and I run forward, slamming my fist into a boy's face.

Three boys had cornered a familiar figure, covering her mouth with her hands pinned above her head and tugging at her clothes. The middle one, the one holding her and the one who had just gotten a fist full of my knuckles, falls in surprise.

As he gets up, I place myself between my Miley, and him and his two buddies, who had backed away wearily.

I recognize them from school, one of them being the one I sent to the nurse's office the first week.

I glower at them as they form a semi circle around us. Miley clutches the back of my shirt and my fists clench even tighter when I notice her shaking. The bastards.

I speak lowly, the threat presented clearly in my voice. "I thought I made myself clear that you don't talk to her, you don't touch her, you don't even look at her. She's mine." I growl.

The one, who had taken my blow, laughs.

"And what are you going to do about it? There are three of us and you're just a little whore. You were probably too busy in some other dark alley groping your other slut. Why can't you give us a turn with this skank, you've probably fucked her enough."

My back goes ridged in anger. "Miley is pure and too innocent to be touched by filth like me, and I sure as hell aren't going to let you, who is as much trash as me, taint her."

"That just makes me want her even more, thinking of all the things I can do to her and be the first to ever experience being inside of her." He says stepping forward and I snap a high kick to his nose.

He once again falls to the trash ridden concrete. "Bet erb!" He says through a river of blood flowing from his nose.

The two boys who have been silent until now, rush at me. I break away from Miley, shoving her backward and launching myself at the nearest boy, slamming my fist into his face and kneeing him hard in his soft spot. He collapses to the ground in an instant and I knee him again in the face to make sure he doesn't get back up for at least a few hours.

I turn to see the other guy reaching for Miley, who had fallen to the ground from my shove.

Grabbing a fist full of his longish blond hair, I slam him forward, knocking his head into the brick wall with a resounding crack, hard enough to put him in a coma. Miley screams when he lands at her feet with a heavy thud.

I turn a murderous glare to the broken nosed boy and stare at him with so much hate that he scrambles away.

"You have no idea what I can do to you, all the torturous ways I have learned to hurt someone and make them scream. I think first though, I'm going to have to make sure that you will never be able to even touch any girl again." I step closer. "I ought ta kill you right now." I growl as he cowers against the wall.

And I might have killed him right then, I was so mad, but I don't know because a soft hand tugs on my sleeve, making me turn my glare to her.

Miley doesn't even flinch but she doesn't need to fear me, my eyes instantly soften and turn to concern. Her eyes are that terrible soupy-green color.

I kneel in front of her and reach out to take her face in my hands, but instead they just hover, then drop.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

She reaches her arms out and I hesitate, not wanting my bloody hands to tough her.

"Please?" She asks, her eyes watering. I take her into my arms, hugging her hard before scooping her legs up and standing with her head tucked into my neck.

Deciding it best not to take her to my house, I carry her home. When I walk through her door, Mr. Stewart is immediately at my side to take her into his arms, but she wont release her hold on my neck so he allows me to carry her up the stairs.

"Lilly, what happened?" He asks for the third time, and even Jackson has come from his room to see what has happened to his baby sister.

I just look him fiercely in the eye and say, "They didn't touch her. They're never goanna touch another girl ever again, I'm sure they got the message this time."

Then I walk up the stairs and gently place Miley on her bed. Still, she doesn't let go so I turn to Mr. Stewart who hovers worriedly by the door.

"I'm going to spend the night tonight if that's okay with you."

"Of course, you're more than welcome to stay whenever you want, you know that." I nod my thanks and crawl under the covers as her dad shuts the door quietly.

Miley finally loosens her grip, only to adjust herself and wrap her thin arms around my waist, pulling me closer. I can feel her hot tears against my neck, though she makes no noise.

Geez, this was the lo chapter yet!

Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think. More drama soon to come.

-Fantasy