Can't Feel My Face

Chapter 4: The worst is yet to come

Sunday was rather unpleasant. Emma and Regina texted a bit throughout the day. Regina approved of Emma's Hunger Games ship to her surprise, mentioning that she also ships Everlark which Emma does, too. Their little conversations were sweet and full of utter interest for the other girl. Zelena had been out and about the whole day. First she had an early shift at the bar, then she met up with a few friends from home and then she visited the library for some paper research.

B: Your sister is here. Should've joined her :( - Belle

E: Oh, I didn't know she'd go to the library, sorry. How are you?

B: Oh okay, hehe. No problem, Ems… was just joking with you. I'm good… got a lot to do for my German class, learning this language has me at my edge, seriously. And how are you? :)

E: Who even learns a language like German? But yeah, fits you ;) I'm very good actually. Do we see each other tomorrow? Any class together? 3

B: Well, me. It's difficult and that makes it so much fun. You should try it, too. You'd totally manage. I think we have p.e. together :'(

E: haha oh, I don't think so. But maybe I'll take a look. Oh, you're right… cool!

B: Totally… well, I need to get back to work. See you tomorrow :))

Belle was such a sweet friend. She's always there for you even if she has to study for what feels like thousand classes. What makes it even more perfect is that you always know where to find her. She is in the library 24/7 and you can always visit her. She's even there when she's not working, always discovering new fiction and literature.

Emma was sure Belle would soon, after finishing high school, be a high rated, high valued writer. She always says that she's 'not the writer type' and she's 'just not good at it' but Emma has read texts from her and was always blown away. Who is Emma to judge, of course but she likes reading too and is quite informed about the art of writing so she's not the biggest noob out there. Belle has always been insecure, ever since kindergarten but she feels like she will soon overcome these insecurities and get far in life. She is very proud of her shy friend already. It may sound stupid putting it like that but it's true. She's always loved her dear friend the way she was but in the last year she's changed. She starting is become more outgoing, baby steps, but they're there.

For example last year she would've never dared that Belle would ever send a flirty text to anyone. Not to her, not to her other friends and especially not to strangers but she's done it and still does it from time to time and it only makes her more lovable but not in the 'I'm in love with my best friend way' more in a 'Can this person I love and need in my life become any cuter?' and it's wonderful.

Then again it scares her. Not the boohoo Halloween scary type. Real anxiety. Because the people around her change, not big time but they do. Better said they grow, they evolve. They digitate… (Suddenly she's sitting on her bed on a Sunday afternoon aware of everything and nothing, thinking about Digimon… out of all the things she had to think about, she choose thinking about her childhood and about a series with fantasy monsters who get bigger and bigger with the strength of their partners.) So much about development and growing up, good job. Emma's falling… she's annoyed with herself and can't quite catch why exactly. Things are fine right now, they really are. So what is really bothering her?

And yes it's true she is scared that all her close friends are already way more mature than she will ever be and she doesn't know how to catch up or how to ask for help but that's not all. There is something else… she can't really phrase it, can't really get a glimpse of it.

So she does what she does best, she runs. She didn't feel like running this morning, already too captured in thoughts.

However, now seems like it's the only thing she's able to do, so she does it. Putting on her running clothes like always, tying her shoes, plugging her headphones in and finally she picks up her black beanie to cover up the blonde mess on her head.

The cold autumn breeze hits Emma delicately and she loves every second of it. It's the first time she actually makes it through the forest and doesn't even notice it until she ends up right in front of city sign "Castlecloud – population: 87…", the rest she's not able to read properly. Then it hits her like a brick right in the face: hard, fast and out of nowhere.

This is where Regina is living… how crazy is that? How did I even get here…Well, never mind. When I'm finally here, I might also take a look at the city, right?

She jogs down main road and soon enters the little town's center where all the shops and cafés are. The town is much similar to her own home town. There's a library, surprise, surprise. There is supermarket, a small cinema which, it seems, only shows classics, a hair salon, several other small shops and a diner of course. As she walks through town, she doesn't feel so strange after all. Troubles seem far away for a second as she explores the new grounds. She stops in front of another small café, it looks sweet and warm. Immediately Emma's thoughts run wild. How would it be to go on a date with Regina and meet here in this café? What would she order? Was she here before? How often? Will she like it? Will she like the company? Could they hold hands under the table? Steal glances from each other? Her body becomes stiffer with every thought. Faster than she can realize she craves. She desperately wants this to happen, as soon as possible.

Then she's scared again, staring through the front window of the little café, eyes wide. Her brain tells her to run, to delete the image of this gorgeous place, to stop thinking about Regina so often, top stop thinking about any kind of future because it's so dangerous, to stop thinking about anything at all… ever.

She unable to take her surroundings in, frozen at the spot, somewhere she's never been before and now she's really scared.

I don't think I can make it back. How will I get home? Who can help me? Who WILL help me?

"Help me…" she whispers.

Her knees start to shake violently and she gets weaker and weaker. Her bodyweight seems unbearable within seconds and she's not weighing that much. She's shaking her head rapidly while searching for something to hold onto. Everything's spinning. Suddenly nothing makes sense anymore. Why's she here again? How did she get her? Where is her sister?

Absently she lets out more shaky breaths, chanting "help me," over and over again. It's barely audible.

A soft grip on her shoulder frightened her. "Can I help you? Are you okay?"

The person sounds female but the voice is unfamiliar and so distant, like her arms would be 20 meters long and she's standing much further away.

"Can you hear me? Look at me, I'm right here," Emma isn't feeling it but she's shaking violently and the woman tries to hold her together.

Only after minutes, when Emma realized that the woman won't go away and is really there to help her, she slowly calms down and faces her. The woman's hands are still gripping her arms.

"Hi… it's okay… you're good," the smaller, black haired woman assures Emma.

"Hi," Emma simply breaths. She's sobbing now and still shaking, a horrified face displayed.

"Breath in and out… slowly… good," the woman orders.

"Can you tell me who you are?"

"Em- ma… Emma S-swan," the blonde manages chokingly.

"Okay, good. I'm Mary Margaret, you can just call me Mary. Do you need to sit down?"

"Y-yes, please."

Mary slowly guides the blonde stranger towards the entrance of the café, placing her on the clod stone stairs.

"Okay, you seem physically okay, what is it that's hurting you? I was inside and I saw your terrified face and you didn't move at all but then you began to shake and I was … worried. I know I don't know you but well if I can help you … somehow? Just tell me."

"Uh, th-thank you. Really, I dunno what came over me… I guess it's some sort of anxiety attack," Emma huffs in defeat, finally realizing what just really happened to her. The doctor told her several times that the anxiety won't ever really go away but it'll always be in waves. There was no sign what so ever in the last 4 months and Emma was so happy that she almost forgot that those attacks were still part of her life. She couldn't understand why it came back just now when she was running. Running was always her escape from everything…

"Oh, okay. I get it. But you're able to breathe steadily again?" this Mary's voice sounded so calming.

"Yes, yes… now I am. Thank you," Emma was suddenly starting to get up but Mary Margaret held her down.

"Don't you dare get up now… you can't just walk home after an intense attack like this. Where are you from anyways?"

"No, it's fine really. I just walk home… it's not so far but thanks for your concern."

"Hey, come on. I'm here with my car… let me do this for you. Where do you live? Even if it's just the next road down the block, it's no problem. Honestly you're saving mw from an awkward situation…" Mary chuckles nervously, looking behind Emma through the glass door towards the table she just sat minutes ago.

"Uh, I'm actually from Storybrooke… the next town in case you didn't-"

"What? And you ran all the way from here? Are you insane? Come on let's go," just as Mary speaks the words and gets up with her hand on Emma's shoulder, a guy exists the café.

"Hey there, what's taking you so on? I'm waiting …" he sounds annoyed.

"Well, this girl here had an attack and I was helping her and-"

"I don't think this is one of the tasks you're supposed to accomplish while on a date. So why don't you get back inside and stop this," he places his hand on Mary's shoulder with force and Emma jumps on her feet, getting between him and the friendly stranger and roughly pushing him away from her.

"You little brat, who do you think you are? How dare you?"

"Oh, that doesn't matter. But I know just who you are. Back off, piece of shit," Emma clenches her fists.

"Hey, it's okay… ignore him," Mary softly grips the blonde at her shoulders, holding her back.

"Well you're not even pretty so it's no problem," he says in a cool tone.

Emma rids herself of Mary's grip and her fist swings up, hitting right in the dudes face.

"Are you crazy? Stupid bitch!" He's too fast and his flat palm hits her right cheek, hard. Then he turns and leaves, blood dripping from his nose down on the pavement.

"Oh god I'm so sorry. I didn't want you to get involved in this at all…" Mary is crying now. Here Emma thought she'd be the emotional train wreck who needed help now but things change rapidly.

"It's alright, hey…" Emma says wrapping an arm around the smaller girl.

"I'm sorry… he was just such an asshole and I had no idea how to get away, I was scared," Mary finally admits.

"It's all good now. He's gone, he can't hurt you. I'm here," Emma assures.

"Thank you, Emma," Mary still sobs but she is starting to breathe again.

"Don't thank me. I have to thank you," Emma comments. She is shivering, it's getting dark and autumn is still cold.

"Oh my, you're shivering… let's get you home, okay?"

"You really don't have to, Mary."

"No, but I want to … especially after you saved me," Mary smiled.

"Let's go then."

On the drive home, Mary and Emma chatted animatedly. They exchanged phone numbers and promised to meet again soon to get to know each other better. Emma feels like Mary could really use a friend. And so does Emma.

When Emma finally arrived home it's already late evening. Zelena is standing in the grand foyer and is furious. "Emma fucking Swan! Where the hell have you been? I came home from work and you were nowhere near not did you tell me where you went. Also I tried calling you a thousand times but then I found out you left your phone here so I figured you were out running but … you can't run for hours? So where the hell were you?"

Zelena walks up to her, standing directly in front of her, shaking her at the shoulders.

"Zel, slow down. I'm right here, it's all good," Emma looks her sister in the eye.

"Yeah obviously, that's why your right cheek is bright red and your eye is swollen and you look like you've just seen a ghost and also… who was that person in the car that brought you home?"

Her sister raises a brow, she's suspicious.

"Uh well okay, let me explain…"

"Yeah go ahead and try, Emmy," Zelena says in a dry tone. Yeah she is very much pissed.

Emma tells her story, changing the part where she had an anxiety attack because her sister is already furious enough and it terrifies her when she acts like that. Also it was just a small attack, nothing to worry about. No need to make her sister overly protective. She can't let her sister do that because right now she needs her more than the other way around. Then she explains that she met Mary outside the café where she was taking a break before wanting to run back but the whole accident with her date happened and Emma just had to help.

"Kid, I swear… first off… don't ever run this far again, I'm being serious. I know you're a splendid runner but just no. Also … control your temper… you can't just hit random people, are you insane? I mean I know you are but hell, Gemmy. Please don't do that even if that dude was a huge jackass. Promise me, okay?" Emma nods in agreement, there is no need to argue that with her sis right now. She knows she understands but she would never care to admit that to her little sister. Zelena has a strict no violence policy.

"Also, it is very dangerous to just get into some strangers car…"

"Hey but she helped me… even if I didn't need help and I felt like she's not a mass murder," Emma reasoned.

"I know, I just need to get this off my chest so that you don't ever do any of this again… please," Zelena sighs and her eyes get watery in an instant.

"Hey, Zel… what's wrong?" Emma instantly reaches out and pulls her sister in a tight hug,

"You big idiot, I was so scared that something happened to you, I was ready to call the police…," Zelena sobs into her little sisters shoulder.

"I'm sorry… I won't do it again," Emma draws small circles with her hand on Zelena's back to calm her down.

"Promise me, th-that you'll always take your phone with you when you're running, o-okay?"

"Yes, sister, I will do that, I promise… I'm so sorry," she gives her sister a small kiss on the forehead. Her heart hurts and she is close to crying now, too. Her sister is one of the most important people in her life and she never thought that her sister loved her this much. She knows that her sister does, it's not like that. It's just that she never imagined someone being so worried about her, her parents just aren't like that at all, they never were.

"Let's have a family night? Watch a movie and eat pizza?" the elder of them offers after a short silence.

"Yes, sounds wonderful… but I really need a hot shower, I'll only be 10 minutes, okay?"

"Oh, yeah, of course. I set up everything here and put the pizza in the oven. So it'll be ready when you're down again," Zelena finally smiles again.

After Emma took a quick, she went to her room and changed into her PJ's. Almost out the door she remembered to grab her phone. Maybe Regina wrote her, who knows. She settled down onto the couch next to her sister, eyeing the pizza greedily.

"Yeah, you can already take a slice, kid," Zelena laughs as she gets up, walking towards the kitchen again.

"Coke or Sprite?"

"Coke," Emma calls back.

Emma finally finds time to check her phone. 5 million missed calls from her sister which made her feel terrible once again and as soon as her sister sat down next to her again she placed her arms around her once again and hugged her, quietly whispering, "sorry," once again.

"It's all good, girl."

Emma found a message from Regina and smiled. It didn't matter what it would say just as long as she wrote her.

"Hey, hello… earth to Emma! What movie?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry. Uhm, you choose," Emma answers absently, opening up the message on her phone.

R: Hi Emma! How was your Sunday? When does school start tomorrow? Xx

E: Hi Regina! Sorry that I'm only answering now, it's been quite a busy day, especially for Sunday. Had a strange encounter … when you're thinking about that I only went for a run… what about you? :) School starts at 8 and when do you have the first class?

"Well, I have this one assignment where I should watch Disney's Alice's adventures in wonderland, would you be up for that?" Zelena barks besides here, pulling Emma out of her thoughts.

"You know I love Alice," Emma grins, already turning her attention back to her phone.

She started checking Tumblr.

R: Oh sounds adventurous, what happened if I may ask? I didn't do much, stuff for classes and a lot of reading. My first class is only at 10. I need to get back to Boston in the morning so that's good. :D

E: Uh, omg story to be honest. I will tell you all about it when we see each other, okay? Just a lot to type, sorry. Oh so you're still at your brothers? How long does it take you to get back to Boston by car? :)

R: Oh, damn now I'm so curios. But I know what you mean – guess we just have to meet before next week's Thursday :) Yeah I wasn't in the mood to see my roommate today so I said I stay here tonight. Depends on the traffic, hopefully 40 minutes to an hour and a half. :/ And you, walk to school? X

E: Oh, I'm sorry. Hehe that sounds good… but you have a lot of college stuff to do, right? :/ I don't wanna get on your nerves! What about your roommate if it's okay for me to ask? But that is okay, not that long. My sis always needs around 2 hours. Yeah, I can walk to school… could also take the bus, but I love walking, in case you didn't notice yet. ;)

R: Yeah, I got a lot of stuff to do for classes and even when I'm not in classes, I never thought I'd be this intense already but all of our prof's say we also need a healthy social life so… I mean would you even wanna meet? For a coffee maybe? :) And no, didn't even know you like moving at all xx

Is she asking what she thinks Regina is asking? A date? No not really but… a meeting? Between friends? What the hell? It didn't matter as long as they'd meet at all! But then she was scared again… what if she didn't like her at all… only sees another high school kid slash creep in her.

"Hey, sis… everything already? You always sing along to that song? What's go you so captured on this stupid little screen?" When Emma looks up at her sister, Zelena already knows it.

"Oh, Regina texting you?" he smirks forming on her face.

What would it hurt to ask her sister? It's awkward enough already since she got to know the girl thanks to her sister.

"Well… she asked if I wanted to meet this week…"

Zelena is already opening her mouth when the blonde interrupts, "you must know we already set up a meeting the Thursday after this one to watch Mockingjay together," Emma smiles absently.

"Uh… well that escalated quickly, huh? Well, do you wanna meet her this week? You can't set her up… she is seriously a busy girl," Zelena deadpans.

"I do!" Emma answers way too fast, "No, I mean… I want to but I just… do you think she'll like me?"

"Oh, baby… so that's what this is about? Of course she will like you… she wouldn't wanna meet if she wouldn't be interested in you, believe me," Zelena explains.

"Why are you so sure about that?" Emma almost whines.

"Uh… there was this one incident with this dude who tried to flirt with her and she just basically killed him with her look only, it was hilarious," Zelena laughs madly.

"Well, so much for courage. Sounds wonderful," Emma says dryly.

"No, all I'm trying to say is that she can be very obvious about her likes and dislikes and she wouldn't even have given you her number if she wasn't interested, okay?"

"Really? Okay… here goes nothing," Emma sighs, focusing on her phone.

E: Honestly, I would really like to see you this week. You tell me when and I'll be free. Coffee sounds lovely! :)

R: Wonderful! I'll text you tomorrow after my classes which day would suit best. But if you don't have time then, it's fine! Don't worry. But I'm looking forward to it anyway xx

A/N: Hi ppl, I'm back. Sorry, it took me two weeks. Acting school isn't chill, haha but it's fun.

So this chapter is a bit less Regina and more others so to say but it is important for the characters, especially Emma…. So bear with me, please. I hope you liked it anyway. I try to update soon next weekend. Also this is the longest chapter yet, yay.

Thanks for all the fav's/follow's/review's, you guys are awesome! So don't forget to leave a review, you help me so much with that. 3

So long,

Viv xx