My Doctor

Choi Young was injured. The battle was coming to an end and his army advanced over the enemy lines. He was at the commanding post, orchestrating a final maneuver, when a stray arrow hit him from the side. He was especially careful not to get hit ever since his personal doctor was no longer there to patch him up. But this time around he was too busy and although reacted, was a second too late. The arrow pierced him just below the clavicle bone, angling toward his heart, tearing through some of the muscles. At first, the sharp sting brought about a quick shock reaction, numbing the pain, so he was able to continue giving the commands.

"General, you are bleeding."

"I know." A painful grin masked with an angry tone.

"Let me call a doctor to tend to the wound."

"Not necessary. I will be fine. Continue with your mission. Make sure to watch out for our flanks; they seem desperate, and might try the last measure attack."

The view of valley beneath him started spinning, and he began to lose consciousness. Fighting, he tried to hold himself up, but with no luck. He was carried out away from the battlefield and left at the make-shift medical tent, where a few doctors were busy patching up injured soldiers.

He blacked out from loss of blood and nagging pain, while the arrow was carefully taken out and the wound disinfected. He felt someone's gentle touch, woman's fingers, lifting him up to put a bandage.

"Imja" an inaudible whisper from his lips. He extended his hand, trying to grip the hand of a person tending to him. "Imja" a bit louder, desperation in his voice.

A thin hand tried to slip out of his grip, barely pulling the sleeve away. He struggled to open heavy lids, drugged and groggy. He could not make out the face, but it was not his Imja, he was mistaken. He forcefully pushed the hand that continued to try to bandage him away, and lifted up slightly, groaning and woozy. "Do not touch me! Only High Doctor can touch me!"

Scared black eyes stared at him. He could see the face now, a young girl, barely seventeen or so of age, petite and dark skinned, was standing right next to him, facing him directly due to her small height.

"I'm sorry, I do not understand. I was asked to take care of your injury, please forgive me, General," deep bow, full of fear and respect, she did not lift her head.

"Where is High Doctor?" Frantically looking around, he appeared to be confused, "Where am I? Who are you?"

"My name is Go Jin Ah, General. I am a trainee from the royal medical clinic. I specialize in battle wounds. I do not know of anyone called High Doctor. You were injured, lost a lot of blood and were unconscious for a while. You are at the field clinic. You were brought here by a young soldier. If I did something wrong, please, let me fix it. I do not want to get in trouble."

He remembered instances when wounded soldiers acted as if they were from a different reality, calling out for loved ones, seeing a face that was not there. Usually it was the result of physical and emotional exhaustion as well as the shock from the injury. Apparently, his body still remembered the times when Eun Soo was treating him… Ever since nobody ever touched him again, Deo Gi not counting (she was like a little sister to him) and sometimes Dae Man (the rascal never left him alone). He steered away from the medical clinic and did not know any new people who worked there. He felt embarrassed to show weakness and confusion in front of this child, but also bad for being harsh on her.

"You did well, good job. You may go."

She backed out, still bowing respectfully, only to stick her head in through the opening in the tent, watching him.

"Go, go," he waved at her in annoyance.

"I was instructed to watch over you. I will be out here, if you need anything, please call."

How can he mistake Eun Soo's touch for this woman's, not even a woman, this child's! Did he forget her? Does it mean that despite his earnest effort to hold onto every memory, some are failing?

Lying on the cot, in desperation, he was searching for reassurance that it did not mean anything. At last, a comforting logical thought. I just miss her. She was the one to take care of me, whenever I was hurt, she appeared like magic, ready to 'doctor' me. I did not forget, I remember, that's why. Sigh of relief left his lungs and he was able to close his eyes for a much needed rest.

A cup of water and some medicine were next to him on a small table; he looked around once he woke up and did not see anyone. He sat up, drinking bitter medicine, washing it down with water. He heard whispers outside. Choi Young saw two shades on the side of the tent, one of a girl and another familiar shape, Dae Man.

"Dae Man."

"Yes, General," the boy as swift as ever appeared in front of him.

"What are you doing here?"

"Delivering a report. We took over the valley. The enemy retreated and the commanders are setting up posts to maintain the territory." He swallowed and stuttered at the next few simple words, "Ar-rre yyy - you all rrr-ight?"

"Of course, I'm alive, aren't I? Just a scratch."

"I was talking to the girl who is your" the boy giggled, "caretaker."

"What's so funny?"

"It's just funny, that's all," he blushed, glancing at the shadow still patiently waiting outside. "She told me about your injury, according to the doctor, you have to rest for at least two more days. She will be back to check if it's infected. I will go, if you do not need me anymore." Turning away hesitantly, the boy was not in a rush; he wanted to be of help and stay by the General's side. He rarely had a chance to be so useful to him lately.

"Wait… I want you to stay and assist the girl. In fact, I want you to get instructions from her about what to do…"

The boy flashed a happy smile, with eager readiness he stepped out to discuss this arrangement with the young caretaker.

Choi Young could not tell anyone that he loathed the idea of somebody else touching him. He wished he could confide in someone about the heavy burden he carried. Dae Man was loyal, like family, but he wished he had a friend of his own age or maturity level to talk to. He thought of the King. The King would understand, but their friendship although more intimate, than others could have noticed, did not allow much for heart to heart talks, not for a while.

The first time they spoke about High Doctor's absence was when he returned alone from the Heaven's gate. The King offered Choi Young, who looked sorrowful with his shoulders hunched and darkness behind his eyes, a drink. Gongmin was openly showing his emotions, talking in a warm and concerned tone. The King said that he understood what High Doctor meant to the General and that he was sorry for all the times when he was not more supportive when the General asked to save her.

Young was still reeling from the loss, trying to find his bearings. He was sitting with his head down, still trying to hold respectful posture and show appropriate decorum. The King got up from his seat, came up to the General and put a hand on his shoulder, "My friend, I'm truly sorry. If I could take back… If I were a better friend to you, instead of a king… I owe my personal happiness to you and to High Doctor. If not for both of you, I would not have my Queen by my side. I'm forever indebted to you."

Choi Young looked at the King with eyes full of gratitude, "Cho-na, I will hold your words close to my heart."

"Can I call you by your name, just once?"

"Yes, Cho-na."

"Young, if you ever need a friend to talk to about High Doctor, day or night, I'd like you to come to me."

The King would understand, the Queen would understand, hell, others who have ever seen him with Eun Soo, would understand. Still he was completely alone in this.

Choi Young took out a calendar he created to track time, marking off today four hundred and three days since Eun Soo's disappearance.

Dae Man came in with the girl. She shyly got up on her toes to reach the young man's ear, giving him instructions. Choi Young could not help, but smile, looking at Dae Man's expression, he obviously felt embarrassed, but enjoyed it, yet he did not know how to react. The boy tried to move away, but the girl persisted.

"Dae Man, make sure to learn, she seems like a good teacher," the General smirked in his direction.

After Dae Man had completed the procedure, the girl quickly left, glancing back just before she exited the tent. Dae Man stayed behind looking up with puppy eyes at his commander.

"What is it?"

Stuttering and uncomfortably twisting in his spot, young Woodalchi asked, "What should I do?"

"Ha?"

"The girl. What should I do? I mean, the General wants me to learn from her. For how long? Should I follow her? Should I wait till she comes back?" His eyes were pleading for advice.

Looking at Dae Man, Choi Young saw himself in this young soldier when he first started to fall in love with Imja. Knowingly smiling, without beating around the bush he confirmed, "Do you like this girl? Do you want me to tell you what to do?"

"No, no…" he was stuttering more than usual. "I – I – I ju-ss—ttt…"

"Slow down, breathe. Look, I'm not an expert. There are plenty of guys you can ask."

"General, but you and High Doctor, you looked like you both liked each other very much. You looked happy together. And she waited for you all the time to come home…" he realized he spoke before thinking, the boy was crossing the line, which he knew he should not have. To his surprise, he did not get hit, screamed at, thrown out or even worse, banished from the General's side forever.

"Thank you." Choi Young's response surprised the boy.

"I have not heard anyone to actually say it like that. There was us, not just me or just her, but us. Everybody is tiptoeing around me, as if I can break easily; it is irritating. You are the only one who has the guts or… maybe, you are just too young to know… Do you want me to tell you something? Sit."

Dae Man did not believe his ears, he was invited to have a conversation with the General as an equal, or kind of like an equal.

Choi Young made himself comfortable and began his story. He told Dae Man about the first time he saw Eun Soo and how after kidnapping her, he made a promise to return her home. Dae Man was nodding, getting excited about the story, as he witnessed many of the moments between High Doctor and the General. The way General spoke, the warmth and the cadence in his voice, when he described his journey with that woman was very different from the commander everyone observed. He was soft and pensive, a smile would lighten his face as a loving feeling would shine through his eyes. The story was honest and direct, like the General himself.

"Dae Man, you are right, I really liked High Doctor and she really liked me, we liked each other so much that she was willing to stay with me instead of returning to the Heaven's world."

He paused, gathering his thoughts before speaking next, "Look, I am not sure how to help you with this girl. She seems nice, by the way. High Doctor was not a usual woman, she came from a different world, but I can tell you she liked it when I bought her pretty things or went on walks with her. She also liked when I complimented her and listened attentively to what she had to say. If you can find out what this girl likes, then use it. Don't go around her smelling of blood. Clean yourself first, and…" he remembered something important, "you have to treat her with respect and share with her about things you do or what you think about." He sighed, "I wish she would be here, she could tell you all about women." Sadness moved across his face, as if he returned to his current reality after this brief excursion to the past.

"Dae Man, it took me a while to understand it, but if you meet someone you like, do not waste your time wondering why, just follow your heart. If she is the one for you, then don't make yourself regret not trying your best later. Just be yourself. You are a good man. I know very little about women, but I know this much, if she likes you because of who you are, then you cannot ask for anything more. Be grateful. Good luck."

Silence ensued. The wiser man who knew about love had finished, and the young man who just started to learn about it was taking it all in.

The boy responded after a long pause, "Daejang… I miss her, too. High Doctor. I know you are waiting for her. I know the truth about you waiting for her by the tree. I promise I will not tell the others! I believe she will come back. Yes, that's what I think. And you will be happy again."