Chapter 4: It burns us! It burns usss!
Disclaimer: I don't own lord of the rings, or the characters (sigh). I also don't own the fish song.
We changed shifts at five a.m. In case anyone was wondering, five a.m is a horrible hour. It was cold and dark and cold and… anyway, nothing seemed to be on fire and there were no major wars going on, just Legolas playing with our cats, Pippin and Merry. I settled down to re-read The Two Towers. I'd just finished reading the Helm's Deep bit (Where Haldir DOESN'T die) when I heard a weird singing coming from the bathroom. "The rocks and pool, is nice and cool, so juicy sweet. Our only wish, to catch a fish…"
"Hey, Legolas?"
"Yes?" The elf looked up from playing with Pippin (The cat, not the hobbit).
"Did you see Gollum arrive?"
"That scoundrel? I last saw him fleeing Mirkwood."
"Hmmm." I poked my head round the bathroom door and sure enough, there was Gollum, eating a fish. I didn't want to know where he'd got it. "Sméagol," I said softly, not wanting to scare him. As soon as I said his name, Sméagol/Gollum looked up, hissed and ran out into the hall.
Without really thinking, I grabbed a towel and threw it over him, and he immediately fell to the floor, writhing and shrieking, "It burns us! It burnss usss!"
"It's a towel, you eejit. Legolas, guard Gollum, will you?"
I ran into Erin's room and tried to wake her up.
"Erin, wake up!"
"…Yes, Boromir, I'll marry you…"
"I'm not Boromir! Quick, Gollum's showed up. I left Legolas to guard him -"
"Wait. You let a MIRKWOOD ELF guard GOLLUM?" Erin was awake now. "Did you pay any attention at all to what happened at the Council of Elrond?"
"I was distracted by Elrond's eyebrows."
Erin sighed and stalked out into the hall. The towel was still on the floor, shrieking and writhing. Legolas was ignoring it and still playing with Pippin and Merry (Again, the cats, not the hobbits).
Erin yanked the towel off Gollum, who immediately went into groveling-Sméagol-mode. "Thanks you, Mistress, kind mistress, not like nassty girl…"
"Shut up. How did you get here?"
"We were in the pool, yesss, with nice fish, lots of fissh, and then there was light, yesss, bright light, and then we were here, yesss, with nasty girl and nasty elf…gollum! gollum!"
Well, to cut a long story short, we managed to rig up a towel prison for Gollum until we figured out if Frodo still had the One Ring. No one knew why Gollum hated towels so much; maybe they were made of the same material as elf-rope?
Nothing much happened for the rest of the night, except that it stopped raining. Then it started again. Then Merry (cat, not hobbit) fell asleep on Legolas' head. I took pictures.
A/N: Yeah, the last two chapters weren't so good. I think the plot bunnies are angry with me 'cos I didn't buy their favourite type of carrots…