Summary: He knew that if he decided on what felt right rather than what was necessary then he would destroy and shatter both his and Naruto's worlds. What he was about to do would be for Naruto's happiness.

Warnings: Yaoi, Underage, messed up timeline.

Pairings: KakaNaru

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, all rights belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

As it so happened, he didn't see Naruto the next day, instead he'd been handed an urgent S-rank mission to the land of Lightning. He had been there for a total of 32 days and was he glad that that was over. It was a relief to finally be back in his own territory after spending so long around ANBU; he had completely forgotten how emotionally reserved they were. He could say that he was exceptionally happy (in Kakashi terms) to have his own bed back again but it was who was sleeping next to him that he wasn't so delighted about.

The next time he saw Naruto was while he was off duty. Kakashi was grocery shopping for Aya, who was currently sick in bed with the flu. As harsh as it seemed, Kakashi tried his best to keep away from his wife as much as possible, mainly due to not wanting to be stuck indoors for the next week and also because it inevitably lead to the discussion of children and when they would be trying exactly. It seemed Aya, her entire clan, the village elders and Tsunade were laying the pressure on thick, knowing how well Kakashi could avoid something if he so wished.

As it happened, he bumped straight into the blond while he was lost in thought, his heart lurching when he came face to face with the smiley, outgoing boy.

"Hi Kakashi-sensei!"

"Uh, Naruto," he'd only just managed to find his voice after such an unexpected meeting. 'How pathetic Kakashi, you're a man not a fucking five year old.'

The blond looked at him oddly, apparently he'd never seen Kakashi so off guard; or at least he could no longer remember.

"What ya doing sensei?" He beamed.

The jounin looked down at the basket of food he was carrying and then back up to Naruto. It seemed pretty obvious to him, also taking into account their surroundings. But this was Naruto and maybe he was just trying to make conversation with his sensei who he hadn't seen in over a month. That was good...wasn't it?

He cleared his throat and lifted the basket of groceries to emphasis his point. "Just shopping."

Naruto frowned. "Is that for your wife?"

What was with the frown? Kakashi missed the smile from before.

"Yea I guess," he knew he should say more but what could he really say without sounding 'out of character' or inadvertently bring forth a memory that Naruto had been forced to forget. That was partially why he limited his contact with his student. That and because he knew he wouldn't be able to keep away if the two of them got too close again.

"Oh-"

"She's got the flu so..." He shrugged, not knowing what else to say.

"Right," Naruto turned to the side, averting his gaze from the older man. He strolled a little way down the isle behind Kakashi. For a moment the jounin thought that that was the conversation over and done with until the boy made his way back and chucked something into Kakashi's basket.

"Here sensei, it's for your wife, it should help, I know it helps me when i'm ill," He gave Kakashi a sad smile. Why was he so melancholy while he was around Kakashi? One minute he was happy the next he was sad, he was sure Nauto was never like this before. Before he could reply, Naruto had left Kakashi behind and jogged out of the store to meet with his other two team mates. It was strange but he thought he had actually seen Sasuke smile at the blond. Maybe it was a trick of the eye. Or maybe not but Kakashi didn't like thinking about it.

Looking down at the packet of cold and flu tablets that Naruto had chucked into his basket, brought back a memory of when he'd brought these over for Naruto when the kid had been too ill to do anything else. He tried not to think about how he'd also cooked soup and they'd spent the day together snuggled up on the sofa watching a movie, covered in Naruto's duvet. He cringed, he certainly wasn't about to do that with Aya, making her soup and looking out for her general well-being when he was around would be as much as he'd do. He limited physical contact with her as much as he could. When it came to sex he saw it as more of a chore than a pleasure, purely for reproduction with no emotion attached to it whatsoever. Once the deed was done, there would be no cuddling in bed, not even any prolonged conversation. Usually he'd feel too guilty and head out after having a shower.

He was cruel, Aya deserved someone to treasure her for the lovely person that she was, she didn't deserve to be stuck with someone who could never love her the way she wanted to be loved. He could hear her crying silently next to him at night when she thought he was asleep. He felt like the absolute prick he knew he was.

It made him sick to his stomach when he knew he could roll over and comfort her but why should she accept his comfort when he made no other movement to help her feel anymore loved day to day. No; it was wrong to give her false hope that maybe with enough time he'd come to love her. Kakashi knows that no such day will come.

Before he knew it he'd payed for the food and had arrived back home. The day dragged on slowly after that, having made his wife soup and then gone out to meet with Gai for a few hours. soon after he decided on finding a quiet tree somewhere to relax and read. As much as he disliked to admit it to others, he hated having days off, he never knew what to do with himself anymore, it seemed he didn't fit in anywhere other than at work.

Once the sun had gone down and he made his way back home yet again. Peeking into his shared bedroom, he saw that his wife was fast asleep, not wanting to wake her, he headed to the sofa and tried to get as comfy as he could get on a hard leather, not particularly cushioned surface.