Haha! I'm keeping on writing these forever! Or perhaps not forever... But for a while more. Live with it. Someone named his cat after his favourite wizard...
Today, too, was supposed to be simply splendid. Of course; every day with me in should be; I'm simply magnificent, non? Of course I am; no doubt about that.
I went to visit chér Albus today. Oui, I know very well how much he hates it when I drop in without warning, but it is so much more fun than to tell him I'm coming over. His face when I do is trés amusing. Of course, his human is always quite surprised too…
Usually Albus' human calls my human to collect me, but not today. My human was already busy terrorising his friends; so I could stay. Since I come from the land of l'amour, I decided to try to make dear Albus a little more… agreeable.
But non. He was being bitchy as always. So, instead, I decided to release my frustration at his human. Although my plans didn't really work, the plans were still pretty amazing. I'll tell them to you~
Plan un:
I shall attempt to kill the bitchy Britt by pushing him into the well. If I apply the proper amount of force to jumping quite violently on his back, he should fall inside the well.
Somehow, I misjudged my leap, and ended up falling into the well myself. Not very pleasant at all…
Plan deux:
By spending some time to catch un rat and then place it in the Britt's sock drawer, I will freak him out to a degree where he faints out of fear.
Turns out the drawer was locked. I am now wondering what kind of person would put a lock on his sock drawer. Then again; Albus' human is a little strange, always talking to a lot of strange magical things. Just because you can see them, you shouldn't talk to them. I should probably inform Albus about that, too…
Plan trois:
At this point; there was really only one thing to do. I had to go get mon homme. He knows how to distract Albus' human. But there's one problem… There is an obstacle I am not very willing to pass. Namely; water. Ugh. Just the thought makes me shiver with cold.
So that won't work, either. Water is far past what I'll do to get Albus to be less of a bitch. Whatever. I'll just go bother that handsome Austrian cat instead~
Next chapter will be chér Iggy-cat. *cheering*