IV
"Dinner was great." I told the chef with one hand on the galley door. He beamed. "Thank you so much."
I almost left when—
"Wait. Don't you have anywhere to go? A party or to meet friends? You never go out." He asked.
"I don't really enjoy going out. I'm very anti-social." I explained.
He thought about it, and nodded his head in agreement. I laughed.
"Good Night" I said loudly, trudging up the stairs. I made my way down the hallway to my room and left a daily message on my mom's phone. After changing out of my decent clothes, I yanked off the heavy earrings and rubbed my eyes till the black eyeliner came off. Oddly, it felt kind of nice to dress up. Not every day, as most girls in my class tended to do, but once in a while. I dressed decently enough everyday, exempting the make up and freshly straightened, or as I like to call it "egg fried" hair. I don't what the girls got out of dressing like poodles anyway. Drooling, staring guys wasn't what I'd call a worthy award.
I went in my bathroom and pushed on the window, which opened smoothly with a snickkk- like sound. The house was only 2 years old, but I liked the old-fashioned touches they gave to it. The window in my bathroom swung open and was as large as a glass door, almost taking a complete wall of the bathroom for itself. I took a deep breath of fresh air and climbed out onto the sloping roof. I shivered slightly, feeling the cool air travel over my arms and legs. I sat down on the stone-cold roof, savoring the fresh breeze, my eyes overseeing the landscape.
The garden was on the other side of the house, thankfully out of my scope of vision. I imagined the symmetrical touches it contained, too perfect and beautiful, glimmering in the moonlight. The forest caught my eye. I guess it was the wild beauty of it. The mystifying feeling it gave off reminded me of an abandoned fairy haven, frozen in time. The full moon lit the tops of the trees, so that they shone with pure splendor. I actually appreciated the forest for its looks for the first time; usually I admired its usefulness and ability to get me brainstorming. I sighed at the beauty, thanking whatever god there was for the tangled woodland. I then got up and went to bed without a frown or worry.
Sunday went without anything eventful occurring, although I felt as though something was watching my every move. It felt like I had a feather light veil over my head, though I wasn't wearing anything of the sort. On Monday, there was no school, because of a superfluous Teacher's Work Day. I did my yoga, martial arts and guitar without any disapproval from the teachers. I was working hard to focus today. My eyes, however, roved toward the forest.
When it came time to do a Jane Austen book analysis for class and a historical fiction paper, my feet happened to drift off toward the window in my bathroom. As I sat on the marble stone of the huge windowsill, I worked on my papers, comforted, even by afar, that the forest was still there. After I was done with homework, I took out my notebook and pencil. I did a little game of mine. I would close my eyes, and sketch without thinking. Then I would open them, and identify what I did.
I took a deep breath, and drew with the carefree feeling of nothingness. I could feel the direction my pencil moved in, but I had to draw it taller. Also, the top should be not short and not long, but that was difficult. I skipped that, and moved on to the middle of the drawing. The lines have to be soft, but straight and hard at the same time, I kept reminding myself. As these thoughts race through my head, I could feel that I was almost done. A smile touched my lips as I could feel that everything was working out fine. Taking another deep breath, and I left my thoughtless dimension. Eyes now open; I looked astonished at what I had drawn.
A white-shirted figure stood tall on the paper. The eyes were intense, even in black and white but not with aggravation. There was a sort of curiosity to them. The smile that traced his white lips ever so slightly was clear evidence of what I had surmised moments before. The figure looked beyond perfect, in a good way. It looked tragic and devastated as well. The curious combination of these traits made it very ethereal and unreal, as though the figure would disappear if I closed the notebook or tore my gaze away. Thinking hard, I started to think about which color to use for the eyes. Then I had a brainwave, more like a senseless, long lost memory that rang with the word. Gold. I stopped working right then and shut the notebook breathing hard. Sweat had covered my cheeks, and the bright sun, like a splatter of mushroom-colored paint, made its way around the clouds to mock me.
I blocked his image from my mind; trying to forget the beautiful, sunset-colored eyes, their intensity…NO. I shut my eyes, shaking. I had to stop thinking about him. After the weekend of thinking, albeit thoughts about Edward, I thought I had gotten over my infatuation. That is what usually happened. I felt disappointed; I had had the notion I was finally immune to him. It sounded extremely stupid in my head, and I was slowly feeling that way too. Rage overcame the feelings, and I hot-headedly thought about why did he have such a unbreakable hold on me? Maybe I was just a superficial being, only fond of his physical features. However, I was enjoying these feelings of shallowness just as much as he seemed enjoyed my presence. I calmed down considerably, thinking I wasn't doing anything illegal, anyways, so why should I worry? I opened the sketchbook, to look at my drawing.
It wasn't great, but it depicted the basic sketch of Edward, now looking like a normal drawing, with no intense feelings in the eyes. I defiantly thought that he would never know me, so I could color and draw as many damn pictures as I wanted. I picked a gold pencil and traced the eyes, slowly coloring them in. The colored pencil was more yellow than gold, but close enough. I fixed his hair, which had been the most troubling part, shading it with a dark bronze. His skin was also hard to mimic. I left it as it was the color of sketch paper. The shirt took an ivory, and I shaded the rest of the drawing. I sat back, satisfied. Looking up, I realized that the sun had set; the golden yellow dyeing the paper a lazy flaxen color. The figure's skin seemed to glow under the sun's caring fingers. I looked at the sketch for a long period, then stowed my art pencils in a pouch. I got up, and exited the bathroom. I glanced at the enlarged silver watch on the wall. It read 4:00. I thought about cleaning my room.
That was about when the phone rang. "This is Alex Durraine."
That stopped me for a minute. And a half. I never got phone calls. Especially not from the most popular and superficial boy in the sophomore year. Oh joy. I thought sourly as I picked up the phone.
"Hello." I said uncertainly.
"Hey. You remember me, right?"
Uh. Huh. Like all the fawning girls in class would let me forget. I had talked to him a couple times, the last being in freshman year when I had literally outlined the story of A Midsummer's Night to him for a project on Shakespearean themes
"Yep. However, I don't remember giving you my number." I answered lightly.
"Surprised?" he asked.
"Actually, I'm curious. How did you?" I said, now walking slowly around my room, probably looking like a chick flirting on the phone.
"Yeah well…" he trailed off, as though I knew exactly what he was saying.
"Go on."
"Alee told me. Is there a problem?" he questioned not, not sounding as sure as he did before.
Yeah, well, you see, you just called me when there's a better chance of Bush calling me.
"No, of course not." I said, hoping he didn't interpret my off-topic tone as welcoming. I hadn't been surprised as to Alee giving my number. I hadn't given it to many people. Only Alee could have given it. Though she hated most boys, thinking they were not trustworthy, she fell headfirst for the most corrupt of them all.
"Oh good. Some of the sophomores from our class are meeting at the soccer field on Sea Crest. We're going to play some sports and goof around. At the end, we were planning on going somewhere to eat with who ever are left. You wanna come?" his asked.
I grimaced, and then thought about it. Even though this guy couldn't spell, that was no reason not to go.
"Sure, why not?" I said sounding happier than I felt.
He sounded relieved. "Great." Then he paused. "Do you want me to pick you up?" he asked.
"No." I said a little too urgently, as though he were parked in my drive way already. "I can get there myself." I stopped myself, holding my breath.
"Oh. Okay, bye."
"Good Bye." I replied; glad to get off the phone. I didn't think at all to what I had agreed, for then I would have not gone. Picking up an Anne Rice novel, I immersed myself. An hour later, while I went to change into something other than pajamas, I thought about how he had gotten my number.
I gritted my teeth, hoping she would be there so I could happily strangle her to death. When I finally got out of my closet I was wearing a v-neck long sleeve tunic top, with black ribbon holding the loose material together every couple inches on the sleeves. Below that I wore khaki pants and navy converse. My hair I let down, and I left the room without a second glance at the mirror.
When I reached the soccer field it was worse than what I had expected. There was Alex's usual crew, and these girls that were trying to be friends with me at the end of last year, when my mom got married to Daniel. The worst part was they weren't even in the field playing soccer! They just stood there next to one of the guys' car. I decided to get back in the limo, but one person was actually paying attention to their surroundings, unfortunately for me.
"Hey Samara!" I turned unwillingly to find myself looking up at a boy with black eyes. Midnight, I automatically corrected myself, if you looked closely.
"Rem!" I exclaimed in happiness and surprise, quickly hugging him.
Jeremy was practically the only person I talked to besides Alee. He had black-blue hair, a trait from his grandfather. I loved the color; it was so different. He was six inches taller than me, which I resented because I had been taller two years ago.
"This is the last place I'd think to see you." He said seriously.
I laughed. "I could say I used to think better of your own personal judgment."
Before he could answer, high pitched giggling emerged from the small crowd, slow male laughter following.
"So, the Barbies meet the Kens…" I said in an undertone.
Jeremy said dryly, "Not what I was expecting."
"What were you expecting? I felt I had imparted some sanity into you, knowing you were safe somewhere else as long as you had my wisdom." Jeremy smiled widely at that.
Seriously," I said, going on, "How could you come to an Alex Durraine sponsored make-out session?"
"Well, to tell you the truth, I was too bored to care. One of the guys there called me for soccer, and this is what happens." He answered shrugging towards the group. Looking back at me, he added slightly smiling, "Though going mad with boredom does seem to have its merits."
"What about you?" he suddenly said, in mock disgust. "My guru, my wise, knowledge imparting sage?"
I sighed, playing along. "Well, honestly, madness compelled me to do so as well. It's entirely your fault anyways." I complained
"How is that, exactly?"
"Hmm, well, I had divulged in you all of my sensible nature and sacred skills to stay alive in this slowly eroding planet, which is being drained of the interest of being one of the learned. Whatever was left, common sense, which I must say, I now reckon I never did have, seemed to have left me, or madness, that seemed to grow ten fold everyday. It's finally won me over and enveloped me in its unbreakable hold."
He looked more amused with every sentence.
"That bit about common sense, I could argue that point. The Mara I knew had common sense."
"That was all genius," I said, pointing to my head. "If I had common sense, I wouldn't hang around you."
"Quite the opposite, I'd think."
"Of course you would."
He suddenly looked slightly sad. "I missed these intelligent sounding conversations which actually had no meaning.
I nodded somberly.
Jeremy had moved to another district, and had to go to another school, though the district was ten minutes from my house. We had barely talked since then.
"I missed you." I said simply.
Jeremy looked sad as well, and answered "As I missed you, Mars."
I smiled slightly, at his use of my childhood nickname hat he had given me. I realized how much of me was gone since 7th grade, when he had left. I had known him for 8 years, and that was hard to forget.
A bit more cheerfully, I said, "I feel my muddled mind clear up; as contradictory as it might sound, I think being close to you makes the ghost of my lost intelligence call to me."
"Well, I believe you did impart something like wisdom. Only now, we are stuck here."
We walked across the field, and I could see in Jeremy's wary expression that he had been just as disgusted with the way things had turned out, like me.
We walked toward the group hesitantly, as though it were a bomb. Closer, I saw with faint disgust that some of the superficial squad had gotten to know each other well enough. Alex was flirting with some golden-haired girl, and two other couples were kissing vigorously. I felt sickened.
"Hey, Samara." Alex said, what seemed to be an awkward tone. I felt confused. He pushed the girl away and walked toward me. That's sweet…I walked away, almost. I dearly wished a couple seconds later I did. He slid his arm around me in a hug as a welcome to the shallow crew.
Then held on for a whole five seconds until I said, "Can I breathe again?" Some laughed, though it didn't seem funny to me. Alex looked hurt, but still confident. I wanted to run away. I exchanged greetings with fellow classmates that spent more time in the bathroom than the classroom.
"You look… different." Alex said, unsure of what to call my look. Oh, yes. This is the current look for fashionistas that go out to play soccer, or at least thought they were going to. The girl around me looked my clothes with distaste.
"Aren't we going to play soccer or something?" Jeremy finally spoke up.
"Okay, sure, why not?" Alex said.
At what should have happened next, I should have laughed. Or would have, except, I was too bewildered to see that movies actually got some things right.
The couples that had been snogging had finally stopped. The girls all widened their eyes.
"We aren't at all dressed to play anything" a black-haired girl with ridiculous blond highlights said.
For once the prissy girl had said something right. The six-inch heels and too short skirts were definitely restricting. They gave a patronizing look to my outfit and pouted. Though I considered myself an expert at the behavior of the snobby, this was one thing I would probably never understand. As all the girls pouted and the boys looked sympathetic and decided to give then another five minute kiss, Jeremy and I looked stupefied. His dark eyes were open wide in disgust, as were my blue-green ones. Alex was still standing behind the snogging couples, eyeing me. I quickly gave an alarmed look to Jeremy. We picked up the soccer ball and football, running for the field, deciding to not take anymore of the reality.
"What do you want to play?" I asked.
"How about just scoring goals, one-on-one?" He said, looking back, seeing the couples still kissing. I tied my hair back quickly.
"Fine by me." I said shouting across the field.
I kicked the ball, starting the match. Jeremy ran quickly, tangling his legs with mine, expertly maneuvering ways to get the ball, but I kept it within my grasp. With a complicated turn, I kicked the ball hard toward the goal. I was eight feet away, and it was hard for the ball to make it. It almost got there, but Jeremy managed to stop it. He turned it in the opposite direction. I sped toward him and the ball, attempting to get it. He deftly got around me, chuckling slightly. I grinned, taking the opportunity and quickly kicked the ball away, toward my goal. He smiled, playing harder. Sweating raining down my sides, I ran with the ball toward my net, kicking the ball in. Jeremy appraised me with his eyes, though his mouth was open in surprise.
"Got you." I couldn't help say.
He panted and so did I. "That was a great goal." He said between breaths.
"Thanks." I said.
Then, I quickly got the ball and played another round. It was just as hard, but I soon discovered Jeremy's weak points. The score ended at 7-6, in my favor.
"Ha!" I said, a little too full of myself. Jeremy raised an eyebrow, and tackled me, as we had done two years ago.
"You sure about that?" he said, pinning me down.
I breathed hard, concentrating, and didn't answer.
"Oof!" he let out in astonishment.
With a quick shift, I had put my weight on his arms, and turned him over, so that I was the one on top. I smiled at him in triumph. I could see his eyes flash with a determined gleam. Uh oh. I quickly jumped up, and ran, laughing all the while.
"Oh you're not getting away!" he called.
I could feel him gaining speed behind me. I looked ahead of me, aware of Jeremy's footsteps getting closer. I saw Alex, coming across the field, in surprise and all suave, toward me. I paused and almost retched. I felt Jeremy slam into me and then get a hold of me. I let out a note of surprise and relief.
Jeremy hadn't obviously noticed Alex come, so he picked me up and whispered, "Got you!" I made a face he didn't see, and then smiled. Laughing, he placed me on the ground moments later, and we both faced a surprised Alex.
"Oh, hey." I said, feeling awkward for a moment, then relaxed. It wasn't like we were the ones making out for 30 minutes.
"Hi. You want to play soccer?" Alex asked me, oblivious to the fact that copious amounts of sweat had been pouring off my sides. Jeremy exchanged looks with me and we almost laughed. I would have, but Jeremy's manners got the best of him.
"Well, I'm sorry. We are quite exhausted." Jeremy quickly looked at me. "At least, I am. Samara is a worthy opponent." He added with a smile. Alex frowned, and looked at me, as though he had been waiting for me to give an answer.
"So am I." I said before Alex got his hopes up.
Looking disappointed, yet not conquered, Alex said, "Let's go somewhere to eat, then."
We ate at a fast food place, where everyone had a burger, fries and soda. All except me and Jeremy, since we disliked the plastic-tasting food that was comprised mainly of fat. Even the brittle-looking girls in the group ate the oily delicacies. Of course, after complaining about how fat they were getting, and how they should cut back. But I guess the comments from the guys that would have made me disgusted made them happy and ready to dig right in.
I was squished next to Alex, and another girl. Jeremy was sitting directly opposite me at the round table that seated twelve. Some of the buys talked with their mouth full, and I kept my eyes down, quietly sipping my frosty without a word. I looked up once, when someone made a joke that I didn't catch, but it seemed hilarious, seeing as one guy choked on his soda, while another spit his food out, laughing. Jeremy was smiling too, though I felt it was because of how uninteresting this meal had started as.
When we got back in the car, I volunteered to drive, just so I could get in the front seat. Though I was fifteen, sixteen this December, I had been driving since I was thirteen. Unfortunately, Jeremy sat in the back, giving an elated-looking Alex a seat next to me. As I drove according to the directions he gave me in a low voice, I wondered why he liked me. Was it my money? I had known him since 4th grade, and he never talked to me. I could have cared less. Why now, though? I could never picture myself with him. Shuddering, I thought something else.
"Are you cold?" Alex suddenly asked. His hand moving toward his jacket, I flashed a hasty smile, and said, "Nah, it was just the ice cream."
"Oh, Ok." He said, talking the moment to stare into my eyes with his dark green ones.
I quickly looked away, having the sensation to throw up my frosty. He murmured my name softly, and I swerved the car, flattening everyone to the right side of the car, including Alex. The girls screeched. Luckily there were no other cars on the road at the moment. "Sorry guys." I stuttered quickly, driving even faster. I hoped that would serve as a warning to Alex. It seemed to, since he looked at my face cautiously, as though I looked like a driving maniac. I tried to make it so.
After, getting home, I went to my room, and told Alee, all about it. After my slightly irritable questioning, she told me that she hadn't given my number to Alex, which was strange, since she was the only one who knew it. After a dance and quick photography lesson, I was tumbling into bed.