Friends and Lovers

"Look what I made, Kenny," Yachiru said, holding up a wreath of flowers. Kenpachi was sitting against a tree, enjoying the warm afternoon air, trying to doze.

"Uh yeah, they're nice," he commented.

"It's for you!" she said. "It's a necklace!"

He stared at her for a second. "Well, it's not going to fit over my hair, but thanks anyways," he closed his eyes and tried to sleep again.

"I left it open on one side so it will fit," Yachiru explained.

Kenpachi sighed and let her put it on him. Whatever, he thought, if it makes her happy and keeps her quiet then I'm all for it. It seemed to be a good decision because immediately after circling his neck with the flowers she curled up on his chest and went to sleep.

"I'm pretty sure it's bad to chew those," Ikkaku said.

"What?" Yumichika said. "Oh." He pulled the end of the pen out of his mouth. He'd been staring out the window at Kenpachi and Yachiru distractedly. The two psychopaths were almost being cute together. He shook his head to wake himself up a little. He'd been feeling antsy, he needed to get out and do something.

"I heard that Renji was back from the world of the living for a couple of days," Yumichika said. They'd all mocked him when he'd been assigned to Karakura town, but honestly he was probably having a lot of fun. Yumichika was wondering what he'd have to do to get assigned there. It would solve a lot of his problems.

"Yeah," Ikkaku confirmed.

"Let's go out tonight," Yumichika said.

"I don't really feel like getting dressed up and…" Ikkaku began.

"Not like that, I meant out drinking. We can invite Renji," it was something Yumichika hardly ever suggested so Ikkaku's confusion was understandable.

"That sounds like a great idea. We can invite Rangiku too. She'll probably want to bring along Kira and Shuuhei, we can get a whole group together," Ikkaku was starting to look forward to the night.

Later that night the gang of them made their way to a bar of medium repute. It was a place that wouldn't get mad if you got completely wasted and vomited on their floor, but wouldn't appreciate an all out brawl between patrons. As expected Renji, Rangiku, Kira and Shuuhei had come. Iba had tagged along, and shockingly, Nanao.

Yumichika wondered how she had gotten dragged into this. She turned to Kira and said something. Kira smiled and gave a sad laugh. Huh, Yumichika thought. He tried to imagine them as couple. How dull they would be, he imagined. No drama or excitement at all. What was the point if your partner didn't at least keep you on your toes some of the time? Perhaps he asked too much of relationships. He always got bored of them so easily and they wound up ending shortly after they started. Yumichika enjoyed the flirting, the chase, the seduction, and he very much liked sex. After that though, what? There had to be something exciting or there was just a lot of empty time doing nothing. Then again, it's not like he wanted to date a total drama queen. He wanted a little spark, but he still had friends and a life, he wasn't going to give up all of that to spend every moment with someone. He had an important job; he was just going to be late to dates and meet ups sometimes. Being nagged and cried to was annoying and such a turn off.

It's not like there was a wide array of available fish though. Squad 11 was…well, Squad 11. He supposed that statistically there were gay men in his squad just like any other, but the idea made his stomach turn if he ever actually looked around and actually looked at them. They were all drunk, hairy, battle-scarred, coarse in every way, and usually with ugly hair. With most of them there seem to be a moratorium on bathing as well. No matter what else Ikkaku and his captain might be, at least they cleaned themselves at the end of the day. Ikkaku might smell of sake, and his captain might smell of blood, but at least they didn't smell of body odor and unwashed clothing.

Yumichika had actually originally had some luck, surprisingly, with Squad 12. Despite some of the members being uniquely grotesque, there were also a high number of cute geeky boys in glasses who blushed when you smiled at them. Yumichika used to think that he liked sensitive guys, but either he was picking them wrong or else he really didn't like them after all. He had to admit he had what he'd classify as a "strong personality" and they'd just let him walk all over them. He wanted to scream at them and tell them to grow a backbone and man up. Of course, if he did scream at them they probably would just apologize for upsetting him. Or worse, cower in a corner.

Squad 8 was practically built for playboys, no matter how much Captain Kyoraku would love for it to be exclusively made up of beautiful lonely women. Yumichika would describe Squad 11 and Squad 8 as two types of drunk. Squad 11 was the type of drunk that became belligerent and violent with a couple of drinks under its belt, while Squad 8 was the type that would become slightly melancholy and maybe take a nap in the garden while thinking about lost loves. In either case, they were both known for their relatively lax standards and similarly minded shinigami joined them accordingly. However, it was fairly common to run into men who thought rather highly of themselves in Squad 8. Oddly enough, although Yumichika was very vain himself, he hated other people who were vain, at least other people who acted vain. If someone spent more time getting ready than he did, or was constantly checking themselves out, or fishing for compliments, Yumichika automatically wrote them off. Yet, Yumichika knew that all he'd have to do would be walk through Squad 8 once or twice to get a date. It wasn't likely to last beyond a night or a weekend, but that shouldn't matter, right? He wasn't looking for anything serious, he supposed.

Yumichika looked over at Rangiku, was sitting between Shuuhei and Ikkaku, greatly enjoying the fact that the two men were openly glowering at each other between attempts to get her to laugh. If he had Ikkaku's standards he'd never be alone. Ikkaku's check list seemed to only consist of: female parts? Likes to drink/doesn't care if I'm drunk? Can I touch her?

Yumichika laughed to himself about that. He knew he was definitely selling his friend short. For Ikkaku to find a woman who would actually stick…well, she'd definitely have to be something special. Actually, looking around at his friends, Yumichika realized that none of them really had anyone special. Out of all of them, only Renji had someone he loved.

Yumichika looked next to him, at Renji. It's not like being in love was helping him out at all in any case. It would be better to not love anyone than to not be able to have the one you want to be with. "Any luck with your campaign?" he asked Renji.

"If you're talking about my love life, the answer is no," Renji said bitterly, taking another swig of sake.

Yumichika began to get a very bad idea. It was so bad that he considered it almost a full minute before deciding it was a good idea instead. He couldn't help it if he was desperate. Yumichika reached out and poured himself some sake.

Both Renji and Ikkaku watched with surprise. Yumichika hardly ever drank. He hated being hung over and he disliked how he got slightly sweaty and flushed when tipsy. He liked being in control of his mind and body at all times, and claimed that sake was bad for one's looks. Besides, being drunk it made ugly people seem more attractive, and he really hated to find out that he'd been making out (or more) with someone way below his standards the day after.

The group of friends continued talking. Renji talked about the land of the living and Nanao told some entertaining stories about her captain. Renji was wondering why it was that Yumichika's knee was touching his, but tried to put it out of his mind, as distracting as it was. Later in the evening he stopped cold when he felt Yumichika's foot wind itself under his calf and rest along the inside of his bare leg under his hakama. Yumichika's foot was bare as well and the feeling of skin on skin was…tantalizing. Renji felt his breath hitch a little. He began to think to himself that Yumichika probably shouldn't have drunk anything after all.

That was of course the reason that Yumichika had some sake in the first place. He wasn't drunk by any means, but he knew that having Renji think that it was possible he was would give him a little more leeway, and a little more time to enact his plan. First thing was to wait until Ikkaku left. The others would be a little slower to do anything, but Ikkaku wasn't shy about calling Yumichika out for doing something stupid. In the meantime he gently massaged at Renji's leg, enjoying the slightly strained expression on Renji's face as he tried to pretend nothing was happening.

"Hey Renji," Yumichika said.

"Yeah," Renji said quietly.

"Do you remember that lake next to the training grounds that you and Ikkaku used to practice on when you were still on our squad? I always loved swimming there. I remember you used to like going there as well," Yumichika said with a smile.

Shit, Renji thought. Is he saying that he knows? Of course he is, why else would he bring it up right now, while he's…touching me.

It had been after an exhausting training session with Ikkaku. Captain Zaraki had called for his 3rd seat, and Ikkaku had told Renji to let Yumichika know that they were heading in. The sun had been setting, and Renji sat down for a moment to gather his breath. He had fallen asleep, and woken up in the moonlight. He had still felt Yumichika nearby so he went to find him.

He walked forward, almost stepping on a pile of clothes neatly folded on a rock, next to several feathers. Renji stared at them for a moment, and heard a splash. He took silent steps towards the edge of the lake, peering out over the water. Yumichika was floating on his back unabashedly naked. Renji could feel a slight ringing in his ears. In the moonlight, in the distance, with his hair dipped into the water, with his glowing pale body and dark hair, he looked so much like…

Renji grabbed a tree to prevent himself from moving forward, his eyes hungrily devouring the naked body in front of him. He's my friend, Renji told himself very sternly. It doesn't matter who he reminds me of right now, I need to not…Renji continued to watch anyways.

Ikkaku had finally left to get himself some more sake. Yumichika leaned over to whisper into Renji's ear, one hand on Renji's thigh under the table. "Tell me Renji, exactly how long has it been since you've had sex?" he asked.

Renji's heart began to pound as he felt Yumichika's closeness, his warm breath in his ear, and of course his hand on his leg, which moved forward about an inch when Yumichika whispered to him.

"Renji, I know that you had a crush on me when you were in Squad 11. Being in love is hard when you don't even know if the man you're in love with would ever consider you, and I was close, always there. Surely you had to have at least considered being with me," Yumichika purred the word 'being' so seductively that Renji gasped slightly. Yumichika knew he was going to have to be a little quicker; their friends were glancing over curiously at them.

"Renji, I will give you anything you want to tonight. I will do anything for you," Yumichika promised. He looked at Renji's flushed face and figured he had short circuited Renji's brain sufficiently and that it was time for the next phase. He moved himself up onto one of Renji's legs, sitting in towards him, kissing at Renji's neck.

Yes, Renji thought to himself, closing his eyes, feeling the light body on his lap and the warm lips on his throat. Please, I want…things started to crash into place and his restrained desire went out the window. Renji used one hand to pull Yumichika's face up to his, kissing him passionately. He used his other to firmly grab at the ass that was pressing into his leg, pulling Yumichika into him. Renji had more or less forgotten that there were people around at all, so he was caught off guard when he felt hands pulling him away from Yumichika.

"What the hell!" he yelled to Shuuhei and Kira, who were behind him, strongly gripping his shoulders.

"Are you insane?" asked Kira.

"Let me go!" Renji demanded, struggling to get free.

"No," Shuuhei said, holding him firmly.

Ikkaku had come back around the same time and had a good hold on Yumichika, who he had pulled across the room immediately.

"What the fuck, Yumichika? Are you trying to get a friend killed?" Ikkaku said angrily.

"Kenpachi wouldn't kill Renji," Yumichika said.

"You don't know that, and it's not worth gambling over," Ikkaku said. "What the hell did you hope that this was going to accomplish anyways? It's not like…"

They both froze. They could feel their captain's spiritual pressure.

"Run?" Yumichika offered. It seemed like the best bet for Renji was if there was as much distance between them as possible.

"Yeah, let's run," Ikkaku said.

They took off.

"Damn it," Renji moaned, watching the two retreat.

"Kenny, why aren't you mad at Renji?" Yachiru said.

"A couple of reasons," Kenpachi answered. "Yumichika is a man who knows how to get what he wants so someone like Renji is going to be like putty in his hands." Kenpachi didn't say anything but he was secretly still wondering if he should at least go have a conversation with Renji about keeping his damn hands to himself. Renji got a one time free pass, but that was it.

"You said a couple of reasons," Yachiru said.

"Renji likes his captain," Kenpachi said.

"Renji likes Byabya? Wow!" Yachiru said happily.

"Um, you should probably not pass that around."

"I don't see how him liking his captain has anything to do with Yumi though," Yachiru said.

Kenpachi was thinking about what he told Yumichika before, about his nobleman's hands. Sorry Renji, close isn't good enough, and you really need to get your own guy. "I'm betting that under all of that clothing and feathers and head pieces, the two of them look fairly similar, especially in the dark," Kenpachi said. "The most important reason I'm not mad though, is that Yumichika wouldn't usually do anything like this. It means that I'm close to defeating him!"

"Kenny, you know that love isn't like a fight, right?" Yachiru asked seriously.

"Sometimes, the two are closer than you might think," Kenpachi answered. "For instance, Renji is the type that will fight long past any hope of winning. He fights until he can't move and his blood is seeping into the ground. He's the same in his love life. Yumichika is a little different. If he absolutely knows that he can't win anymore, he won't fight. He'll give up a lot sooner than someone than Renji would, even if the end result is that same. That's why I'm confident that I'm really close to winning."

"If you say so, Kenny," Yachiru said.

"Damn it," Yumichika said, as he and Ikkaku gasped from their exertion.

"Well, we wouldn't have had to run at all if you had kept your hands off of Renji. What, you were going to use him? I thought you were his friend," Ikkaku said accusingly.

"We would have been using each other, it would have been a fair trade," Yumichika said. "A terrible idea obviously but…but that wasn't why I was cursing. Kenpachi's beaten me. I really don't know what I'm supposed to do at this point."

"What do you mean 'beaten'? It's not like a fight," Ikkaku said.

"Sometimes it is, and I'm being outplayed," Yumichika admitted.

Yumichika walked into Captain Zaraki's office the next morning.

"I…I think that I…want to give in…but too many people know," Yumichika said.

To his surprise Kenpachi looked like he knew what he was talking about. "I understand Yumichika. I'll take care of it."

"You probably think it's low of me to care what others think so much," Yumichika confessed.

"I don't care, the more people that know how I feel about the better. If I have to make a spectacle of winning you, it's no skin off my back," Kenpachi said.

He did understand, Yumichika thought. I can't let people think that I just…lost. I have to let them think that he won me. Well, won me in the way that people usually are won in romantic matters, not whatever the hell messed up way it is he might have won me in reality. Why is it that I feel at least slightly fond of him now? Why the hell do I even want to give him a chance?

If nothing else, it would be interesting to see what happened next. At least it wouldn't be boring. Kenpachi wasn't romantic at all though, and as Yumichika walked away he wondered exactly what it was that Kenpachi was going to do.

"Yachiru," Kenpachi called.

"Yeah, Kenny?"

"Did you hear?"

"Sure did. I have a plan!" Yachiru said with a smile. "He'll love it!"