Flashback
"MEREDITH!!!"
Meredith turns in the direction which she had just hears what sounded like her name, only to see one of her best friends arguing with the house bandmates. Oh god, she thinks, not again Lauren…
"What is it Lauren?" She yells back, over the bustling crowd, from her comfortable seat at the table of the crowded bar.
"This guy, he won't let me sing! I can totally sing Sublime right now!!! But this ass won't let me!"
Rolling her eyes, Meredith gets up, sorrowfully walks over to where Lauren is standing, obviously plastered. She looks at the band, who is clearly irritated wanting to simply get back to their set. She pushes Lauren into a crowd of her friends, and mumbles and apology, hoping to make as little of a scene as possible, Which is, of course, highly unlikely, seeing as they're in a not-so-crowded, but not empty, bar on a Thursday night, at the front of the room.
"Meredith!" Lauren exclaims.
"Yes, Lauren?" She says, slightly exasperated by her friend.
"Miller Lite drafts are a doller here, ONE DOLLER! Can you believe that? In the city? In faunal hall?! That's insane! Want me to buy you one? I'LL BUY A ROUND!"
At this declaration everyone at the table is excited, and gets up to follow Lauren to the bar, excited to receive their free beers. Meredith stays behind to reserve the table. As she was sitting there listening to the band play, someone casually slid into the chair across the table from her. She looked over at him and smiled questioningly.
"So," he began, "how are you doing tonight?"
She smiled at him, "I'm doing well, and yourself?"
"Not too bad, not too bad."
Just then her friends returned with a ridiculous number of beers and Meredith sighed to herself. Damn, he was cute, now he's going to chat up all my hot, drunk, and horny friends. Especially Lauren.
"So," he started again, "What might your name be?"
She smiled, "Guess."
"Hmm…you look like a Sara" She shook her head, "okay….Meredith?"
She looked at him incredulous, "Seriously?!"
He smiled at her, "Am I right?"
"How on earth did you guess Meredith?"
He smiled again, "I'll tell you, but it's a secret, so you're gonna have to come a little closer…" She leaned in, he whispered into her ear, his hot breath stimulating the tiny hairs on the back of her neck, "I heard your friend over there yell it a few minutes ago, and I simply had to meet you." He leaned back and looked her in the eyes, intensely.
"Cheater!" She yelped.
"What can I say?" He grinned.
"Okay then, you know my name. It's only fair that I get to know yours."
He flashed her his smile again, "That, darling, is what I was hoping you would ask. Derek's the name, Shepherd's the fame."
She looked at him skeptically, "Fame? Never heard of you."
"You have now. And I'm guaranteeing you will again."
"Alright Casanova…" she started, he however, interrupted her.
"I'm going to be a famous surgeon you see. Give it, oh, I don't know. Five years? Then pick up any medical journal, my face will be plastered all over them."
"Oh, I don't think so."
"No? Why not?"
"Cause in five years, my face is going to be plastered all over famous medical journals as a world famous surgeon."
"Seriously?"
She giggled, "Seriously."
"We'll just have to see about that, Meredith."
"Yes, yes we will, darling." She said, repeating his earlier sentiment.
The rest of the night they continued to banter back and forth, almost never breaking eye-contact. When last call came and went, and the house lights went on in the bar, they exchanged numbers and hung around in the back of the bar as everyone was filing out.
"So. You've been undressing me with your eyes all night." He stated, playfully.
"I have not! And besides, you have too!"
"Oh I don't deny that"
"So we agree." She said, trying to sound casual.
"Yep we agree."
"Well, consensual undressing with the eyes can mean only one thing?"
He caught the look in her eyes, and decided to play along, "Oh, really, what is that?" he asked, placing his two index fingers under his chin attempting to look intrigued.
She shrugged, "Eye sex."
"Ohh, of course. Eye sex….You know, I have a think for eye sex" He looked her directly in the eyes.
"Really, you do.?" She swallowed hard.
He leaned so that his lips just barely touched her ear, "It's intense, this thing I have…for eye sex I mean." He smiled to himself as he heard her breathing become mildly erratic. He stood there, just like that, waiting, anticipating, not moving, for almost thirty seconds. Just breathing. Until he just about couldn't take it anymore, then it happened.
Meredith was dying, his hot breath was on her ear, her neck, her shoulder, her instinct took over. She grabbed his head and pulled his lips to hers and kissed him. After a few seconds he pulled back, she gasped, embarrassed and exasperated, "what?"
He looked down at her, his face mere centimeters from hers, "took you long enough!" With that, he pulled her face to his, for another scotching kiss.
End Flashback
Meredith woke up from her dream gasping and felt the tears streaming down her face. Sobs began to rock her body. She ran to the bathroom and felt the familiar gag reflex in her throat. Several minutes later she sat at the side of the toilet with a wet cloth against her forehead as she began to cry again.
She forced herself to stand up, walk to the bedroom and pick up the phone on her nightstand. She dialed the familiar number and waited for him to pick up.
"Hello?"
"Finn? It's me. Mer. I need your help."
"Meredith, what is it?"
"I…" she sobbed, "I'm pregnant, Finn."
Closing the trunk with a loud thud, Finn turned to Meredith. "Well, that's it, that's the last of it." He gave her a sad smile.
"I just can't believe this is it." She turned and looked back at the place she had called home for the past seven years. "It's bittersweet, ya know?"
"You don't have to sell it Mer…" He looked at her intently.
"It won't sell immediately," she said this with a tone Finn didn't quite understand, he was about to push when she said, "well, time to go, now or never, insert a cliché about leaving the past behind you here, right?" She turned to him, looking for reassurance.
He gave her a caring smile. "Mer, you know it will all work out, I promise." He pulled her into a hug, kissed her on the forehead, whispered a brief "Love ya" in her ear, walked down the steps, got into his car, and drove home.
As she watched him drive off, she placed a hand protectively over her stomach, "I hope so, Finn, I really hope so…" With that she climbed into her car, which was packed to the brim, turned it on, and headed for the highway.
At about 45 minutes into her drive, after having stopped to pee and get food, on different occasions, Meredith's mind began to wonder as one of her favorite songs came on the radio.
Flasback
Close your eyes, close the door
You don't have to worry any more
Cause I'll be your baby tonight
Meredith and Derek were snuggled together on the couch in their house, watching "Big Fish." It's a cool mid-November evening. She is leaning against his chest and his arms are wrapped around her. Although she is reveling in the feeling of warmth and comfort she is receiving from her husband, there is something unmistakable different about this embrace that both are trying desperately to ignore.
"Mmm," she says, looking at the dying fire, "you need to put more wood on the fire"
Shut the lights and shut the shade
You don't have to be afraid
'Cause I'll be your baby tonight
"Nah," he gives her a dashing smile, turning her to face him, "that fire over there? That one's going out. But this one?" He kisses her and runs his hands underneath her shirt, "this one, my dear, is just heating up."
She smiles at him, liking where his mind is headed. They kiss feverishly, lovingly, desperately. Meredith is moaning as Derek sucks and bites her neck, behind her ear, exactly where she likes it. Between moans of pleasure and removal of clothing, she thinks that perhaps things haven't really changed all that much.
Well, that mockingbird's gonna sail away
We're gonna forget it
That big fat moon
Is gonna shine like a spoon
But we're gonna let it
You won't regret it
"Meredith," he breaks a part, "lets go upstairs, we need to get a condom." Then of course, her husband says something like that.
She kisses him again, "Mmm, but that's all the way upstairs," she kisses him again, "and besides I'm so turned on," again, "lets," kiss, "just," kiss, "chance," kiss, "it." Shit. Or worse. She says something like that to her husband.
He pulls back, hard. "What? What is that suppose to mean?!"
"What? No, Derek, nothing, I just--"
He cuts her off, "Meredith are you trying to pull something here?" He begins redressing.
She looks at him, surprised, "I'm not trying to pull anything, you know I wouldn't do that."
"So if I were to go upstairs, I would still find that condoms in the nightstand?" He asks her pointedly.
Kick your shoes off
And don't you fear
Bring that bottle over here
Cause I'll be your baby tonight
"Yes! God what do you think I am?!" She throws back at him.
"I don't know, but that statement there wasn't something I would--"
Now it's her turn to cut him off, "Statement? So it's a statement? Dammit Derek, why do you have to do this now? Tonight? This is the first fucking time that we've been home together for more than an hour in god knows how long and you're jumping on me."
"Oh so now this is my fault?" He yells back at her.
"You're the one who decided you needed a reputation." She states in an even tone.
"Don't you dare do that to me. Don't you dare. You know and well as I do that this has been my dream for as long as I can fucking remember! If you weren't so selfish you'd realize that it's actually a good thing, I'm saving lives, not just in one city, but across the country, around the world!" He was fuming.
"I'm selfish? You're not a superhero Derek. You know how happy I am that you can help people, and find interesting cases, and get published almost monthly--"
"This is not about getting published--"
"I'M NOT FINISHED! But Derek, listen to me, I'm your wife okay? I love you. I had dreams too, some of them I've accomplished, others I've amended, because of you. I'm not saying that to hurt you, quite the contrary. But for the love of god, look around you, please? We're successful surgeons. We have good friends. And our life is crumbling."
"What do you want from me, Meredith?"
"All I want, I'll I've ever wanted, is you. You've always been enough for me, why am I not enough for you? Is it so wrong that I want to have a baby with you, Derek? Look at your sisters, they all have kids, think of all of them, how happy they are."
His tone softened as he moved closer to her, "They have different lives than us." He rubbed her cheek, caressing a falling tear.
She looked into his eyes, "We can have a different life than us."
"You're asking me to choose? Choose between you and my career?"
She looked at him, deadly serious, "Yes, I am. Pick ME, chose ME. Love ME."
Kick your shoes off
And don't you fear
Bring that bottle over here
Cause I'll be your baby tonight
Cause I'll be your baby tonight
Cause I'll be your baby tonight, tonight
End Flashback