A/N: 'Peabody's Guide to Censorship' or 'Censorship for Dummies.'

Plot: Peabody films a detailed guide on how to censor your life for your children. *Guest appearance by the neighbor downstairs.

*One floor above and one floor below - Peabody lives on the eigth and final floor and Source lives on the sixth floor. The neighbor is one floor above her and one floor below him.

In New York, there is a penthouse apartment. In that apartment, there is a dog with a video camera and a script out in front of him. Sitting in his arm chair, positioned in front of the camera, he uses a remote control to hit the 'Record' button, and the video begins. It begins with the dog sitting with his legs folded, a dictionary in one paw, and an exacto-knife in the other.

"Hello everyone, Peabody here." He greets as he opens the dictionary and sets the knife inside. "Todays discussion is going to be about censorship and how to apply it into your daily lives."

With that being said, he set the dictionary aside and switched his legs so that one was folded over the other again. He then reaches off camera and lifts a baby boy up so that the camera can see him and then places him on his lap. The baby is seemingly mesmerized by the red light coming from the camera and he stops to watch it.

"This is Sherman. Say hello, Sherman." Peabody says but upon remembering that the baby is to little to talk, instead has him wave and then places him down onto the floor again. "Well, he can't say hello just yet, but when he can speak, there is a list of things I wish for him not to be able to say yet as well as a list of things I would not want him to see."

With that, he stood up and went to the center of the room while letting his words sink in.

"For example. Now, we all have that one neighbor whose lack of intelligence is an annoyance to us all." He says as he walks over to the counter and places the camera on it so it is pointed at the door. "What you are about to see is censorship at its best. With limited commentary from yours truly. So please sit back and enjoy the show."

He gets up carefully and removes the camera from its stand, and at that moment, there is a knock at the door. Straightening his bowtie with one hand, he proceeds with the video as casually as possible. He opened the door and there was a very uptight looking business man standing in front of him. The man was dressed in a sharp blue suit and his hair was combed back against his skull. He looked as though he had just been sucking on a lemon by the way his tried to look disproving.

"Why, hello Mr-" The dog was suddenly cut off by a hand being put in front of his face.

"Don't 'hello' me, I am here with a complaint." The man said, inspecting his nails idly.

"About?" The dog asked, folding his arms over his chest.

"Some of the other attendants, mainly me, think that they may be allergic to that ginger thing. Yeah, He'll have to be removed from the apartment or I'll sue."

Peabody slowly turned towards the direction of the 'ginger-thing' as the man had put it and frowned. He then walked over to where Sherman was and picked him up. He then left the room and putting the baby back into his crib before returning to the neighbor.

"Had to remove the baby from the room. He should not be exposed to such negativity and stupidity at such a young age." Peabody says, folding his hands together and pointed to the man. "Now, it there something else you needed that I could logically help you with. Because I doubt you are allergic to my child, as you are both human and your case would, in no way hold up in court even if you did try to sue me."

"Wah." The man blinked, not able to process what the dog had said but then realizes bits and pieces of it. "Oh, and I also came by to ask if I could borrow your weed-wacker."

"You do realize that this is an-" Peabody paused and then promptly shut the door and returned the living room. "Never mind... I have more important things to censor, such as- The TV."

The dog then walked casually over to the TV. It was currently set on the 'Parental Control' channel. The dog promptly picked up the remote, then set it down and went over and pulled the plug out of the TV as the entire screen when blank.

"This is New York city and as a city that never sleeps, what on Earth do you need to TV for? Or magazines for that matter. You've got the outside world!" He questioned bluntly, shaking his head and going over to the nearby phone. "Now, do we all remember that idiot neighbor? Well often, we all have that one neighbor, who is smart enough to talk to as well as a good ear when it comes to relating the story back."

Sitting down, he began to dial a number and then put the phone up to his ear and waited for it to go through. During this time, he looked back up and then, putting the phone on speaker and holding it out, he began to speak again. What he didn't notice was that the call had gone through.

"The person I am calling is my downstairs neighbor, Miss. Source. Lovely woman she is, and always a pleasure to talk to. But what does this have to do with censorship you may ask? Well, often when adults talk about other adults, a few foul words may be tossed about. Be sure to censor these words in case little ears are hearing."

"Um? Peabody, is that you?" A young woman's voice suddenly sounds through the phone, causing the dog to jump.

"Oh, Source! Um- How much did you hear of that?" He asked in an embarrassed tone.

"Enough. But that's okay, whats up?" She asked, the crinkle of fabric heard next indicating that she had shifted the phone to her shoulder.

"Oh nothing, I thought I'd just call to complain about that new neighbor of ours. From one floor above and one floor below*" The dog explained. "He came up with this ridiculous story on how he was allergic to Sherman and would sue me if I did not get rid of him."

"Well that bastard. I had the same problem with him earlier, its like he just hates kids in general." Peabody held up one finger while she spoke, indicating that a non-censor word had been used and turning the phone away, he began the commentary.

"Source has just used the word, Bastard. There are common alternatives to avoid this word, such as-" He was cut off by the good neighbor's voice again.

"Are you still there?" She asked simply.

"Yes, and I do agree with you, Ma'am. That man is quite a ninny-hammer." He replied, only to get cut off yet again by a round of laughs from Source.

"Did you- haha- seriously just say- *giggle* Ninny-Hammer? What is this, Tolkien's Lord of the Rings?" She managed before bursting into another fit of laughter.

"It wasn't that funny." Peabody muttered as he face palmed.

"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't laugh -hehe- Wooh... Anyway- I just made some sugar cookies with my baby. Mind if I bring some up?"

"Not at all, that would be lovely. I'll go open the door for you." He said, getting up and was about to walk to the door when he banged his foot on the edge of the chair.

He shut his mouth quickly and began to swear with his mouth closed as he hopped about in pain. Source was still on the other end of the phone and was now very confused. Not wanting to open his mouth to explain what happened, Peabody instead sent a simple text message to explain things: F*** D m^ it! That F***ing hurt!

The video suddenly cuts back to Peabody, who has cut out the words 'Hate, Bitch, Butt, and Chocolate' from the dictionary.

"In conclusion. The cookies were delicious, and Sherman did not learn any bad or insolent words. Well, except for one, which he learned after the scene had been film."

Just then, Sherman crawled over to his adoptive father and put both of his tiny hands onto the other's foot and began to giggle happily before he spoke.

"Dadda!"