We are back with another chapter! This one turned out a lot longer than the others, which I suppose is better for you all. It was a bit hard to have everyone react to Simon's darker thoughts- especially his wanting to get away from them all, but I did my best. Hopefully you guys enjoy it! Reviews and advice are much appreciated!

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In the book Clary read from, Simon had just arrived at the institute and walked along the snaking path that led into the garden.

"Sitting on the stone bench in the middle of the garden were Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood, a Shadowhunter who was tall and dark and fairly strong and silent, at least around Simon."

"Oh, we finally get to see what you think about us," Isabelle said teasingly. Her eyes burned with curiosity and a bit of trepidation and Simon's heart began thumping faster as he realized that's exactly what they were all about to hear.

"Magnus was chatty, though, had the aforementioned cat eyes and and magic powers, and was currently wearing a clinging T-shirt in a zebra-stripe pattern with pink accents. Magnus and Alec had been dating for some time; Simon guessed Magnus could talk for the both of them. Behind Magnus and Alec, leaning against a stone wall, were Isabelle and Clary. Isabelle was leaning against the garden wall, looking over it and into the distance. She looked as if she were in the middle of posing for an unbelievably glamorous photo shoot."

"As I always do," Stated Isabelle as she flipped her hair over her shoulder.

"Then again, she always did."

Alec snorted and Clary had to pause in her reading to giggle.

"It was her talent. Clary, however, was staring stubbornly up into Isabelle's face and talking to her. Simon thought Clary would get her way and get Isabelle to pay attention to her eventually. That was her talent."

Jace laughed fondly and Alec nodded in agreement.

"Looking at either of them caused a pang in his chest. Looking at both of them started a dull, steady ache. So instead Simon looked for his friend Jace, who was kneeling by himself in the overgrown grass and sharpening a short blade against a stone. Simon assumed Jace had his reasons for this; or possibly he just knew he looked cool doing it. Possibly he and Isabelle could do a joint photo shoot for Badass Monthly."

"Now that's an idea," Jace said with a grin.

"I can see it now. We can start our own magazine. I could write a special article on how to kill demons and still look drop dead gorgeous doing it," Isabelle added.

Clary's emerald green eyes sparkled as she rolled them in fake exasperation and continued reading.

"Everyone was assembled. Just for him. Simon would have felt both honored and loved, except mostly he felt weird, because he had only a few broken fragments of memory that said he knew these people at all, and a whole lifetime of memories that said they were armed, overly intense strangers. The kind you might avoid on public transportation."

Simon cringed as all humourous mood in the group vanished instantly, replaced with sadness and hurt. Here we go, he thought with dread. Clary's voice explained that Isabelle and Alec's parents and the leaders of the clave were the ones that suggested Simon go to the Academy in the first place

"Clary hadn't liked the idea. Isabelle had said absolutely nothing on the subject, but Simon knew she hadn't liked it either. Jace had argued that he was perfectly capable of training SImon in New York, had even offered to do it all himself and catch SImon up with Clary's training. SImon had thought that was touching, and he and Jace must be closer than he actually remembered them being, but the awful truth was that he didn't want to stay in New York. He didn't want to stay around them. He didn't think he could bear the constant expression on their faces- on Isabelle's and Clary's, most of all- of disappointed expectation. Every time they saw him, they recognized him and knew him and expected things of him. And every time he came up blank."

Clary's voice faltered and Simon was horrified when he realized her eyes were shimmering with tears. Jace wrapped his arm around her in an attempt at comfort. Isabelle had completely turned around on the chair, hiding her face from everyone and it made Simon wonder if she was trying to hide tears too. Magnus's face was grim and filled with what Simon thought might have been guilt, and Jace and Alec were somber. Simon longed to say something, to fill the heavy silence with something comforting that would make it all better. He opened his mouth- and stopped. What could he possibly say? He thought back to his father's death. This was almost the same thing. These people had lost someone so important and precious to them, almost like a death, except it was worse. They couldn't tell themselves it was better this way and that the person they loved was in a better place, because he was right there. He was right there and couldn't remember them. Simon thought that in a way, it was almost worse than his death; for them at least. There was nothing he could say to fix that or ease that pain, nothing would fix it unless he magically got all his memories back and went back to being the old Simon they knew and loved, and that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. So with a heavy heart, Simon stayed silent as Clary quietly blew her nose into a tissue that Magnus had summoned, before she wiped her eyes, sniffled, and continued reading.

"It was like watching someone digging where they knew they'd buried something precious, digging and digging and realizing that whatever it was- was gone. But they kept digging just the same, because the idea of losing was so terrible and because maybe. Maybe. He was that lost treasure. HE was that maybe. And he hated it. That was the secret he was trying to keep from them, the one he was always fearing he would betray."

Too late now, Simon thought grimly. He had betrayed that secret without even realizing it was going to happen, the minute he decided to read that book.

"He just had to get through this one last good-bye, and then he would be away from them until he was better, until he was closer to the person they all actually wanted to see. They they would not be disappointed in him, and he would not be strange to them. He would belong."

Clary paused in her reading and regarded him with her sad doe eyes. "We're not disappointed in you, Simon. You definitely aren't strange to us, and you already belong. You might not have all of your memories back yet, but you don't have to do anything to prove yourself to us. We know you and we care about you. That's not really the problem. The problem is- you don't know us."

"Correction," Said Jace. "You don't know us, yet. So maybe most of your memories are gone about us- that doesn't mean you can't make more. You don't know who we are, but we are all willing to let you get to know us. This isn't some hopeless situation where you will never be able to be around us until you have all your memories back; we are right here, waiting for you to get to know us. Everyone has to start somewhere. It isn't as if we became friends instantly. You had to get to know us back then too, without any memories."

Simons throat felt tight again, and suddenly his eyes started watering. Damn allergies. Something must be blooming. "Thank's guys. That- that means a lot to me. I would love to get to know you again. Too bad you don't all have a book about your innermost desires and secrets, considering you're getting to know mine pretty fast through this darned book," He said with a lopsided grin, trying to lighten the mood. Clary chuckled and wiped at her eyes, but Isabelle still didn't turn around.

"Who knows. The letter said we would hear from them again. Maybe we will get some kind of book all about Magnus's past or something," Alec said jokingly.

"I can see it now. The Bane Chronicles," Simon said dramatically as he gestured for emphasis.

Magnus looked absolutely horrified at the idea and Clary laughed and started reading again. She read a conversation between Simon and Jace, and Alec, who was beginning to zone out, straightened up as he heard his name mentioned.

"Okay, whatever. The thing is. . . Alec's always really quiet around me," Simon said. "Is he just shy, or did I tick him off and I don't remember it? I wouldn't like to go away without trying to make things right."

Alec frowned and gave a small sigh. Why did he always come across rude or mad to people? He liked Simon; he was just never any good at expressing his emotions and it frustrated him to no end. He would have to try and talk to Simon later when they were alone and let him know that he wasn't angry at him.

"Jace's expression took on that peculiar stillness again."

"Oh, no," Clary groaned. "That's how you know he's messing with you. His face always goes blank when he's trying to hide something. He's probably going to give you some crazy story."

"I would never!" Jace exclaimed, pretending to be offended. Clary rolled her and found her place in the book again.

"I'm glad you asked me that," he said finally. "There is something going on. The girls didn't want me to tell you, but the truth is-"

"Jace, stop monopolizing Simon," said Clary."

The group chuckled and Clary read another paragraph.

"Memories came, sometimes in an overwhelming and terrifying rush, but mostly in tiny shards, jigsaw pieces Simon could hardly make sense of. One piece was a flash of walking to school with Clary, her hand so little and his barely bigger. He'd felt big then, though, big and proud and responsible for her. He had been determined not to let her down."

"And you never did," Stated Clary with a small smile. Simon smiled back.

"Hey, Simon," she said now. Her eyes were bright with tears, and Simon knew they were all his fault."

"It's not your fault," said Isabelle. Simon jumped in surprise. It was the first time she had spoken since he had upset her. She was now turned slightly in the chair, enough for him to see the blank mask she held. "It isn't your fault you lost your memories. And it isn't your fault that we get upset when you can't remember things. It's no one's fault." Simon blinked. He opened his mouth to speak. Simon wasn't quite sure what he had intended to say, something eloquent, or words that perfectly described his feelings towards her. Something that would finally close the space between them. What came out was a slightly stammered, "Thanks," instead. Magnus rolled his eyes in fond exasperation.

"Hey, Clary. You take care of yourself," he said. I know you can." He paused. "And take care of Jace, that poor helpless blond." Jace made an obscene gesture, which actually did feel familiar to SImon, so he knew that was their thing."

Jace laughed. Clary read as Catarina Loss walked around the side of the institute and asked if Simon was ready to go. Book Simon hugged Clary and a startled Jace, which made the group in Magnus's living room laugh, and his slightly embarrassing goodbye to Isabelle. The present Isabelle was back to staring out the window, and just like the book Simon, he thought she was probably taking everything a lot harder than she let on.

"Okay," SImon said again, and retreated to Catarina Loss's side as she made the portal to go through to Idris, the country of the Shadowhunters. This parting was so painful and awkward and welcome that he could not quite appreciate how awesome it was to have magic done right in front of him. He waved good-bye to all these people he barely knew and somehow loved anyway, and he hoped they could not tell how relieved he was to be going."

Clary finished the chapter and silence filled the room once again. It was only the beginning of the book but Simon already felt completely bare and vulnerable, as if everyone could see through him to all of his secrets no matter how hard he tried to hide them. He rubbed at his eyes. It was only noon but Simon felt drained and exhausted. With a snap of his fingers Magnus made another cup of coffee appear in front of him and Simon jumped before giving him a grateful smile.

"Well, It's my turn to read now, unless anyone needs a break?" Jace questioned. Simon desperately needed a break, but he did not believe he would have the willpower to sit back down and hand his soul over to the next person to be laid out bare if he did, so he mutely shook his head. Jace picked up the book and started the next chapter