Chapter 4
The New President, Mr. Bon-bon!
(With Cloud, Tifa and Aeris)
Aeris: I hope that that little girl will be all right.
Cloud: I hope that I can kill all those germs with mouthwash!
Tifa: That's not nice.
Cloud: So?
(A woman appears)
Woman: I's hear you helped our little Priscilla today.
Cloud: Yeah....
Woman: Well your welcome to use my house to sleep in for tonight.
Cloud: Yes!
Tifa: Hey, wait a minute! Are you sure?
Woman: Yes it's the least we could do for you.
(The woman leaves)
Cloud: I say that they could've given us 1 million-bajillion gil would be
the very least!
Aeris: That, too, is not nice!
(They go in and rest)
(Now with Yuffie, Mai, and Red XIII)
Red XIII: Do you guys enjoy bothering me?
Mai & Yuffie: Yep!!
Yuffie: Damn! This place has no Materia!
Mai: How do you use Materia?
Yuffie: Like this...(she explains)... got it?
Mai: Maybe...
Red XIII: It's going to get dark soon.
Yuffie: How can you tell? It's dark 24-7 here.
Red XIII: Maybe because there's a clock behind your head.
(Yuffie turns around)
Yuffie: Oh...
Mai: So how do you crash for the night here?
Yuffie: We find a hotel and sleep or use a tent.
Mai: oh no! A tent would ruin my hair!
Yuffie: Well, where's an inn?
Red XIII: I don't think there is one.
(Yugi and Tea come by)
Tea: Hey guys!
Yugi:....
Mai: Ah! You guys are still so Cu~te!
Tea: IF YOU SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME I'M GONNA DROWN YOU IN CITRIC ACID!!
Mai:?
Yugi: Don't Tea, we don't want to see her skin boil.
Mai & Tea:?....
Yuffie: Citric acid doesn't burn your skin; it's in soft drinks for crying
out loud!
Mai: Yugi, hon... don't talk anymore.
Tea: Don't talk to Yugi like that!
Yuffie: You DO like him!
Tea: ...so?
Yugi: Really?
Mai: Wow I was just kidding.
(Red XIII is gone now that the girls are distracted)
Yuffie: I'm going to go and sleep!
Mai: I guess I will too... I hate tents!
Yugi: We're sleeping in tents?
Mai: Oh, and Yugi... We'll be sure to give you your own!
Yugi: What's that supposed to mean?
Tea: Whatever you think it means.
Yugi: What I think is-
Mai: Remember Yugi, don't talk.... you have no opinion of your own!
(Well rest of dialogue will be boring, they go sleep in tents, Yugi by
himself, they wake up the next morning and find Barret's outside of a house
with a bag...and a bottle in it)
Yuffie: Are you okay?
Barret: Ooh, my head hurts!
Yugi: I would say sleeping on a wall would hurt!
Yuffie: He's having a hangover!
Yugi:?
Mai: It's what happens after you get drunk...
(Cloud, Tifa and Aeris come by)
Tifa: I slept great!
Aeris: Me too!
Cloud: next to 2 beautiful women who wouldn't?
Tifa: What?
Aeris: Did you say something?
Cloud: Ummm, no!
Tea: Is that little girl okay?
Priscilla: Of course I am you bimbo!
Tea: Bimbo?!
Priscilla to cloud: What's your name?
Cloud: Cloud.
Priscilla: Ooh! I love you!
(Gives cloud a hug around the waist (remember she's small))
Cloud: Get off me!
Priscilla: Sorry, thanks for saving me! Here have this! It's the Shiva
materia!
Yuffie: MATERIA!!!
Mai: What happened yesterday?
Aeris: umm well it's a long story!
(Red XIII comes by)
Red XIII: ALL RIGHT!!! WHO DID THIS?!!
(Everyone starts looking around)
Mai: But you smell so good now!
(Go figure)
Red XIII: when did you?
Mai: Aww, I snuck out of the tent early this morning and found you!
Red XIII: *growl*
Aeris: But she's right, you do smell better now!
Mai: Please don't rub yourself in the dirt!
Red XIII: I'm not a dog!
Tifa: Do you hear the music?
Barret: Yeah, and it's giving me a bloody headache!
Priscilla: It's for the new President
Barret: Yeah that's right! I've gotta bash his head in!
Cloud: How do we get up there?
Priscilla:... there's an elevator! If you wanna die before we get married!
Cloud: Good option.
Priscilla:?... well anyway then you could get up using Mr. Dolphin!
Cloud:?
Priscilla: Use him to jump onto the upper plate!
Barret: Cloud. Do it. You wouldn't want the girls doing this and I have a
freaking headache and that guy (points to Yugi) would probably fall off and
drown.
Yugi: Hey!
Cloud: You don't care if I drown though right?
Barret: Damn Straight!
Cloud: Alright let's do it!
Priscilla: Alright! Let's go!
(Priscilla talked and talked along the way while Cloud just walked)
Priscilla: Alright when you are in position, blow this whistle!
Barret: (running) Hey fool! Give me the PHS! It'll break if wet!
(Cloud gives Barret the PHS then the bird)
Barret: Yeah your a tough guy, wait till you get the S*** knocked out of
you for stuff like this!
Cloud: Ready. (Goes in water and blows whistle and the dolphin comes with
and jumps with cloud on although they miss) HEY!!! I have just been
violated!!! (The dolphin didn't come up in the right spot)
Priscilla: What did he do?
Barret: Ummm, he probably just mad cause he missed!
Cloud: Don't do that again! (Blows whistle and they get up on the beam) I'm
gonna fall, I'm gonna fall!
Barret: Are you gonna fall?!
Cloud: No!
(Cloud climbs up and sees the huge ships at the top, and then walks towards
the entrance to the building and walks in and...)
Shinra Major (SM): MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!! Hey soldier! You aren't even dressed!
Cloud: uhhh, me?
SM: Yeah you! Get your skinny ass in here!
Cloud:...okay.
(They go in)
SM: Get changed immediately!
(2 Shinra guards come in)
Guard 1: I'll help!
Cloud: Oh no you don't!
Guard 2: I'll sing too!
Cloud: That's just wrong!
SM: Get changed now!
Cloud: okay! (Finds an extra Shinra uniform and is in the middle of
changing)... and your going to watch me too?
Guard 1: Of course
Guard 2: why?
SM: Hurry up!
Cloud: great... surrounded by Shinra fairies....
SM: what was that!?
Cloud: Nothing! (Gets fully changed)
SM: Now you do remember the march formation, and the commands?
Cloud: ughnnn...
SM: You forgot didn't you?
Guard 1: He's a blonde sir
Cloud: please don't say it!
Guard 2: A cute blonde!
Cloud: crap... a-hem! Please refrain from saying such disgusting things....
did that sound right?
SM: Show him what to do!
(They start showing cloud the commands)
SM: Square!
(Cloud does it)
Guard 2: no! Your legs need to be~
Cloud: Touch me and you die!
Guard 2: *gulp* umm...more together.
(They go through it while the stupid Shinra guard sings obnoxiously)
SM: All right let's go!
(They go and find out they are too late)
SM: We're too late!
(They run for a while more)
SM: This is all your fault!
Guard 1: Hey we could take a shortcut through here!
SM: Good idea!
(They take the shortcut and make it into the parade and after the parade go
to the ship and waited for Rufus to come and watch. when he did come Cloud
saw Mai dressed up like a servant)
Mai: Would you like something sir?
Rufus: I want some Bon-bons!
Mai: Ummm, here! Here you go sir (begins to bend down to grab some bon-bons
and noticed everyone looking at her wearing the short skirt and decides to
bend her knees instead and gives it to him)
Rufus: NO! I want you to spoon feed it to me!
Mai: Ughnn, okay (grabs a spoon)
Rufus: All right if you guys do a good job I'll give you one too!
Cloud: Why would I want one?
SM: Alright! Now!...(gives the orders)
Rufus: Alright I guess I'm forced to give you one...darn, I thought you
guys would suck! New gal, give them a bon-bon!
Mai: Ughrrr... All right Mr. president! (Mr. Bon-bons!!!)
Cloud: Psst! Mai!
Mai: Cloud? So you did make it.
Cloud: Where are the oth~
(Mai shoves the bon bon in his mouth)
Mai: Shut-up and eat the stupid candy, here's one for you and for you
Guard 2: man if I were straight, I'd easily have her!
Guard 1: Sure!
Mai: ? I heard that! And no you wouldn't.
Rufus: Alright I'm heading on, don't get left behind Miss Gardner!
Mai to Cloud: Heh-heh, I used Tea's last name!
(Everybody leaves to go on the ship or just to leave)
Cloud: What are you doing?
Mai: Everyone was trying to find a way on... I just saw that I could be a
new part-time servant girl for Mr. Bon bons!
Cloud: Mr. Bon bons?
Mai: He's been driving me crazy with Bon bons! *starts making a voice to
imitate Rufus* " The way to a man's heart is not through food, but bon
bons!", " I want more bon-bons, give me more, no I want it spoon fed to
me!", "Where's my complimentary chocolate Bon-bon on my pillow?", " My bath
water isn't right! It needs to be soaked in bon-bon essences!"
Cloud: Bon bons in bath water?
Mai: Heh-heh! Actually I made that one up! But he asked me if I could fix a
Bon-bon soufflé! Oh hey Cloud check it out! (Grabs whip and cracks it and
leaves a mark) Next time you go to battle take me! I have a materia that I
found in the hotel that Rufus hasn't figured out I took!
Cloud: A level 2 ice materia, not bad.
Mai: I gotta go...
(Cloud gets on after Mai)
Mai: And don't look at my butt!
Cloud: ...okay.
(On the boat someone's making hurling noises)
Cloud: Are you going to be okay?
Yuffie: Cloud? It's me you moron! Urrk!
Cloud: Yuck!
Yuffie: Sorry, got any tranquilizers?
Cloud: Here just don't throw up on me!
Yuffie: Thanks *gulp, gulp * Ugh! This is bitter!
Aeris: Hey cloud look at me! I'm in a 'Shinra uniform' don't I look
professional?
Cloud: Sure...
Aeris: Hey did you see that big ship?
Cloud: I think so...
Aeris: I wanna ride it!
Cloud: Don't get to excited about it.
Aeris: I guess so...
(Cloud walks up the stairs and sees Tea in a sailors uniform and some guys
talking to her)
Sailor: You know what they say about us sea men
Tea: they have bad breath?
Sailor: That we have a whole lot o-
Cloud: That's enough!
Tea: Thank you! God now I think I'll have grotesque images.
Sailor: I hope to see you around, Laterz!
Cloud: Having a hard time?
Tea: Thanks...whoever you are
Cloud: It's me, Cloud.
Tea: oh hi! Well hey! See what Tifa got me? A bow and Arrow! (She grabs out
a bow and pivots the arrow on the holder and pulls) I always did great in
archery! My coach, Ms. Dany, who is a ms. because she's everyone's fav.
Lesbian teacher, said so!
Cloud: How good can that be?
Tea: throw up something
Cloud: Here's a bon-bon (he throws it up and Tea shoots it in half)
Cloud: that's...good.
Tea: Hey got any materia? I wanna learn so bad how to use it! Can you teach
me? After all we have a long trip ahead so we have time right?
Cloud: Here have this Shiva materia...I don't wanna hold a love token from
a prepubescent girl.
Tea: Cool!
Cloud: Alright in order to use materia you just...(explains it) got it?
Barret: Isn't his explanations, make no sense?
Tea: uhhm It made perfect sense and I had a hard time understanding what
you said.
Barret: dammit! Why's everyone criticizing me?! (runs off)
Cloud: Let's see I haven't seen Red XIII, Tifa and that weird person
Tea: Yugi
Cloud: Yugi
(Yugi runs by)
Yugi: I snuck on at the last minute!
Tea: umm you're going to get caught
Yugi: O-o
Red XIII: Hey I look like a human don't I?
Tifa: I hate these suits...
Tea: Perfect timing! Cloud? What do we do in the meantime?
Cloud: I'm going to see the President now...
(Walks up to see the president in the main room with Heideggar and Mai.
Rufus keeps talking about Sephiroth with a random request for a bon bon
while Heideggar is laughing and Mai's adjusting her skirt while some of the
sailors are watching)
Mai: Don't you guys have some Playboys to look at? God have you never seen
a woman before?
Sailor's: No
Mai: *sigh* get a girlfriend!
Rufus: Another bon bon Ms. Gardner!
Tea: Gardner?
Mai: Here...on-a-spoon!
Rufus: Thank you!
Heideggar: G'ya ha ha I loved destroying the 7th sector pillar and blaming
it on Avalanche! Now they'll think they did it!
Rufus: I already knew that!
(A red light comes off and an announcer came on the intercom)
Announcer: Suspicious character found, repeat, suspicious character found.
Cloud: Are they talking about everybody else?
Tea: uh-oh...
Tifa: Let's go find out!
(Of coarse they go and find everybody except Yugi in the center of the
ship)
Red XIII: So it wasn't us
Mai: I hate this outfit! It rides up on my butt!
Tea: And what about your original attire? It's almost like that.
Mai: No, I'm more fashionable!
Tifa: Do you think it could be?...
Cloud: Yes...it's Sephiroth.
Tifa: How do you know I was going to say that? I was gonna say a false
alarm.
Cloud: Oh...well so-
Tifa: You're not psychic! You don't know what I was going to say so stop
thinking you do!
Barret: What time of the month is it?
Tifa: Shut up!
Red XIII: So who's going to see what's going on?
Tea: I want to!
Mai: Me too!
Yuffie: I don't...feel...good... so... ...UURRKK!!
All: EEE~WW!!
Red XIII: I'll go, I want to get out of this outfit.
Cloud: I will to...if it is Sephiroth...
Mai: Then we bash his face in!!
Cloud: ...no.
Mai: Why?
(The reason you ask? Cause I don't want to end this so early!)
Cloud: The rest of you make sure to stay undercover and ...please don't be
mad at me.
Tifa: What makes you think I am?!
Cloud: You're yelling at me!
Mai: Let's go!!
(They go down into the ship and see all the dead bodies except the one
that was standing at the end)
Tea: Eew!
Cloud: Sephiroth! (Touches the person who actually ends up dead and
Sephiroth comes up)
Tea: Ooh! What a hunk!
Cloud: (stares at Tea for a brief second) What are you doing Sephiroth?
Sephiroth: Do I know you?
Cloud: You don't remember?
Sephiroth: I don't have to, do I?
Mai: Cool sword! Can I touch it?!
Sephiroth: Do you know who I am?
Mai: Ummm not really.
Sephiroth: Blondes may be cute... but stupid!
Mai: Hey! I'm smarter than you honey! My I.Q. is 209!
Sephiroth: I don't have time to deal with you, now, The time is near.
Tea: Yes! I can hear the wedding bells now!
Sephiroth:(stares at Tea and Mai as in " what the hell?)...okay. I leave
you now (he flies over them and Jenova comes out)
Tea & Mai : HOLY CRAP!!
(Red XIII and Cloud get ready to attack)
Mai: huh? oh yeah! (grabs out whip and cracks it on Jenova)
Tea: Let's see...straddle the line, raise, pivot, drawback and...FOLLOW
TROUGH!!(shoots an arrow) Yay!
Cloud: Try to use the materia!
Tea: All right... umm *click* Diamond Dust!! (her magic casting sequence
starts off with her twirling around on her toes in a 360 degree rotation
then holding arms out straight in front of her as if she was holding a
ball)
(Shiva comes and does her work)
Mai: My turn, Ice 2!! (her magic casting sequence starts off with the whip
in a spiraling ring around her while her hand is in the air and her right
leg pulled up to her then brings her hand down in a swiping motion)
Jenova: *squoosh squirm*(think old alien noises) ( She uses tail laser on
Tea, Mai, and Red XIII)
Tea: Wow I feel strange...
Cloud: You guys don't know about limit breaks?
Tea: Limit breaks?
Cloud: I'll give the tutorial later, just use what you've got!!
Tea: umm, okay?...
(Jenova uses tail laser again and this time Mai Feels strange too)
Cloud: Cure! (casts cure (is this repetitive typing necessary?) on Tea)
Red XIII: Cure! (cast's in on Mai)
Mai: Wow I'm totally clueless!
Tea: FIRE SHOT!! (finally uses her limit break in which she shoots a
flaming arrow at high speed that exploded on contact) cool!
Mai: Wow! Let me try!
Red XIII: Fire! (casts fire)
(Jenova casts stop on Red XIII and it was succesful)
Mai: *Blink, blink*
Cloud: I'll tell you about Status effects later!
Mai: Shockline!! (her limit break, she cracks and attaches the tip of the
whip on Jenova and sends an electrical surge through the whip and stuns
Jenova) WOW!!! I am, like, so cool!
Jenova: (makes alien noises again then uses W-laser on Red XIII and Cloud)
Cloud: Okay, Cross-slash!! (his limit and if you don't know this one then
it's your own damn fault!)
Jenova: (alien noises then turns red and dies)
Tea: Cool!
Mai: Yeah!! More Materia! (picks up Ifrit materia)
Red XIII: Would you like to give an explanation?
Cloud: Well, no.
Mai: Fine, FI~NE! We don't need to know!
Tea: Materia and limit breaks are the coolest!
Announcer: We will be docking in Costa del Sol in a short while, please
whoever's throwing up all over the place do it overboard!
Mai: Yay!! I tan!!
Author notes: I hope this one was long enough for the one who said the
others were too short... I really had a fun time writing this one! oh and
for limit break charts as for now
Tea= Lv.1/ Element shot= shoots elemental arrows to hurt one enemy
possible attacks-- Fire shot-
fire elemental
Ice
shot-ice elemental
Bolt shot- lightning elemental
Mai= Lv.1/ Shockline= lightning damage and Paralysis to one enemy
And if you review this fanfic and ask for it I will send some of my artwork
for this fic (some in progress) to you such as Mai with a whip and/or other
things not relevant to this like my picture of Red XIII with wings or
Yuffie. but please note that if you do want to see them it may take a while
to send them to those who asked
The New President, Mr. Bon-bon!
(With Cloud, Tifa and Aeris)
Aeris: I hope that that little girl will be all right.
Cloud: I hope that I can kill all those germs with mouthwash!
Tifa: That's not nice.
Cloud: So?
(A woman appears)
Woman: I's hear you helped our little Priscilla today.
Cloud: Yeah....
Woman: Well your welcome to use my house to sleep in for tonight.
Cloud: Yes!
Tifa: Hey, wait a minute! Are you sure?
Woman: Yes it's the least we could do for you.
(The woman leaves)
Cloud: I say that they could've given us 1 million-bajillion gil would be
the very least!
Aeris: That, too, is not nice!
(They go in and rest)
(Now with Yuffie, Mai, and Red XIII)
Red XIII: Do you guys enjoy bothering me?
Mai & Yuffie: Yep!!
Yuffie: Damn! This place has no Materia!
Mai: How do you use Materia?
Yuffie: Like this...(she explains)... got it?
Mai: Maybe...
Red XIII: It's going to get dark soon.
Yuffie: How can you tell? It's dark 24-7 here.
Red XIII: Maybe because there's a clock behind your head.
(Yuffie turns around)
Yuffie: Oh...
Mai: So how do you crash for the night here?
Yuffie: We find a hotel and sleep or use a tent.
Mai: oh no! A tent would ruin my hair!
Yuffie: Well, where's an inn?
Red XIII: I don't think there is one.
(Yugi and Tea come by)
Tea: Hey guys!
Yugi:....
Mai: Ah! You guys are still so Cu~te!
Tea: IF YOU SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME I'M GONNA DROWN YOU IN CITRIC ACID!!
Mai:?
Yugi: Don't Tea, we don't want to see her skin boil.
Mai & Tea:?....
Yuffie: Citric acid doesn't burn your skin; it's in soft drinks for crying
out loud!
Mai: Yugi, hon... don't talk anymore.
Tea: Don't talk to Yugi like that!
Yuffie: You DO like him!
Tea: ...so?
Yugi: Really?
Mai: Wow I was just kidding.
(Red XIII is gone now that the girls are distracted)
Yuffie: I'm going to go and sleep!
Mai: I guess I will too... I hate tents!
Yugi: We're sleeping in tents?
Mai: Oh, and Yugi... We'll be sure to give you your own!
Yugi: What's that supposed to mean?
Tea: Whatever you think it means.
Yugi: What I think is-
Mai: Remember Yugi, don't talk.... you have no opinion of your own!
(Well rest of dialogue will be boring, they go sleep in tents, Yugi by
himself, they wake up the next morning and find Barret's outside of a house
with a bag...and a bottle in it)
Yuffie: Are you okay?
Barret: Ooh, my head hurts!
Yugi: I would say sleeping on a wall would hurt!
Yuffie: He's having a hangover!
Yugi:?
Mai: It's what happens after you get drunk...
(Cloud, Tifa and Aeris come by)
Tifa: I slept great!
Aeris: Me too!
Cloud: next to 2 beautiful women who wouldn't?
Tifa: What?
Aeris: Did you say something?
Cloud: Ummm, no!
Tea: Is that little girl okay?
Priscilla: Of course I am you bimbo!
Tea: Bimbo?!
Priscilla to cloud: What's your name?
Cloud: Cloud.
Priscilla: Ooh! I love you!
(Gives cloud a hug around the waist (remember she's small))
Cloud: Get off me!
Priscilla: Sorry, thanks for saving me! Here have this! It's the Shiva
materia!
Yuffie: MATERIA!!!
Mai: What happened yesterday?
Aeris: umm well it's a long story!
(Red XIII comes by)
Red XIII: ALL RIGHT!!! WHO DID THIS?!!
(Everyone starts looking around)
Mai: But you smell so good now!
(Go figure)
Red XIII: when did you?
Mai: Aww, I snuck out of the tent early this morning and found you!
Red XIII: *growl*
Aeris: But she's right, you do smell better now!
Mai: Please don't rub yourself in the dirt!
Red XIII: I'm not a dog!
Tifa: Do you hear the music?
Barret: Yeah, and it's giving me a bloody headache!
Priscilla: It's for the new President
Barret: Yeah that's right! I've gotta bash his head in!
Cloud: How do we get up there?
Priscilla:... there's an elevator! If you wanna die before we get married!
Cloud: Good option.
Priscilla:?... well anyway then you could get up using Mr. Dolphin!
Cloud:?
Priscilla: Use him to jump onto the upper plate!
Barret: Cloud. Do it. You wouldn't want the girls doing this and I have a
freaking headache and that guy (points to Yugi) would probably fall off and
drown.
Yugi: Hey!
Cloud: You don't care if I drown though right?
Barret: Damn Straight!
Cloud: Alright let's do it!
Priscilla: Alright! Let's go!
(Priscilla talked and talked along the way while Cloud just walked)
Priscilla: Alright when you are in position, blow this whistle!
Barret: (running) Hey fool! Give me the PHS! It'll break if wet!
(Cloud gives Barret the PHS then the bird)
Barret: Yeah your a tough guy, wait till you get the S*** knocked out of
you for stuff like this!
Cloud: Ready. (Goes in water and blows whistle and the dolphin comes with
and jumps with cloud on although they miss) HEY!!! I have just been
violated!!! (The dolphin didn't come up in the right spot)
Priscilla: What did he do?
Barret: Ummm, he probably just mad cause he missed!
Cloud: Don't do that again! (Blows whistle and they get up on the beam) I'm
gonna fall, I'm gonna fall!
Barret: Are you gonna fall?!
Cloud: No!
(Cloud climbs up and sees the huge ships at the top, and then walks towards
the entrance to the building and walks in and...)
Shinra Major (SM): MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!! Hey soldier! You aren't even dressed!
Cloud: uhhh, me?
SM: Yeah you! Get your skinny ass in here!
Cloud:...okay.
(They go in)
SM: Get changed immediately!
(2 Shinra guards come in)
Guard 1: I'll help!
Cloud: Oh no you don't!
Guard 2: I'll sing too!
Cloud: That's just wrong!
SM: Get changed now!
Cloud: okay! (Finds an extra Shinra uniform and is in the middle of
changing)... and your going to watch me too?
Guard 1: Of course
Guard 2: why?
SM: Hurry up!
Cloud: great... surrounded by Shinra fairies....
SM: what was that!?
Cloud: Nothing! (Gets fully changed)
SM: Now you do remember the march formation, and the commands?
Cloud: ughnnn...
SM: You forgot didn't you?
Guard 1: He's a blonde sir
Cloud: please don't say it!
Guard 2: A cute blonde!
Cloud: crap... a-hem! Please refrain from saying such disgusting things....
did that sound right?
SM: Show him what to do!
(They start showing cloud the commands)
SM: Square!
(Cloud does it)
Guard 2: no! Your legs need to be~
Cloud: Touch me and you die!
Guard 2: *gulp* umm...more together.
(They go through it while the stupid Shinra guard sings obnoxiously)
SM: All right let's go!
(They go and find out they are too late)
SM: We're too late!
(They run for a while more)
SM: This is all your fault!
Guard 1: Hey we could take a shortcut through here!
SM: Good idea!
(They take the shortcut and make it into the parade and after the parade go
to the ship and waited for Rufus to come and watch. when he did come Cloud
saw Mai dressed up like a servant)
Mai: Would you like something sir?
Rufus: I want some Bon-bons!
Mai: Ummm, here! Here you go sir (begins to bend down to grab some bon-bons
and noticed everyone looking at her wearing the short skirt and decides to
bend her knees instead and gives it to him)
Rufus: NO! I want you to spoon feed it to me!
Mai: Ughnn, okay (grabs a spoon)
Rufus: All right if you guys do a good job I'll give you one too!
Cloud: Why would I want one?
SM: Alright! Now!...(gives the orders)
Rufus: Alright I guess I'm forced to give you one...darn, I thought you
guys would suck! New gal, give them a bon-bon!
Mai: Ughrrr... All right Mr. president! (Mr. Bon-bons!!!)
Cloud: Psst! Mai!
Mai: Cloud? So you did make it.
Cloud: Where are the oth~
(Mai shoves the bon bon in his mouth)
Mai: Shut-up and eat the stupid candy, here's one for you and for you
Guard 2: man if I were straight, I'd easily have her!
Guard 1: Sure!
Mai: ? I heard that! And no you wouldn't.
Rufus: Alright I'm heading on, don't get left behind Miss Gardner!
Mai to Cloud: Heh-heh, I used Tea's last name!
(Everybody leaves to go on the ship or just to leave)
Cloud: What are you doing?
Mai: Everyone was trying to find a way on... I just saw that I could be a
new part-time servant girl for Mr. Bon bons!
Cloud: Mr. Bon bons?
Mai: He's been driving me crazy with Bon bons! *starts making a voice to
imitate Rufus* " The way to a man's heart is not through food, but bon
bons!", " I want more bon-bons, give me more, no I want it spoon fed to
me!", "Where's my complimentary chocolate Bon-bon on my pillow?", " My bath
water isn't right! It needs to be soaked in bon-bon essences!"
Cloud: Bon bons in bath water?
Mai: Heh-heh! Actually I made that one up! But he asked me if I could fix a
Bon-bon soufflé! Oh hey Cloud check it out! (Grabs whip and cracks it and
leaves a mark) Next time you go to battle take me! I have a materia that I
found in the hotel that Rufus hasn't figured out I took!
Cloud: A level 2 ice materia, not bad.
Mai: I gotta go...
(Cloud gets on after Mai)
Mai: And don't look at my butt!
Cloud: ...okay.
(On the boat someone's making hurling noises)
Cloud: Are you going to be okay?
Yuffie: Cloud? It's me you moron! Urrk!
Cloud: Yuck!
Yuffie: Sorry, got any tranquilizers?
Cloud: Here just don't throw up on me!
Yuffie: Thanks *gulp, gulp * Ugh! This is bitter!
Aeris: Hey cloud look at me! I'm in a 'Shinra uniform' don't I look
professional?
Cloud: Sure...
Aeris: Hey did you see that big ship?
Cloud: I think so...
Aeris: I wanna ride it!
Cloud: Don't get to excited about it.
Aeris: I guess so...
(Cloud walks up the stairs and sees Tea in a sailors uniform and some guys
talking to her)
Sailor: You know what they say about us sea men
Tea: they have bad breath?
Sailor: That we have a whole lot o-
Cloud: That's enough!
Tea: Thank you! God now I think I'll have grotesque images.
Sailor: I hope to see you around, Laterz!
Cloud: Having a hard time?
Tea: Thanks...whoever you are
Cloud: It's me, Cloud.
Tea: oh hi! Well hey! See what Tifa got me? A bow and Arrow! (She grabs out
a bow and pivots the arrow on the holder and pulls) I always did great in
archery! My coach, Ms. Dany, who is a ms. because she's everyone's fav.
Lesbian teacher, said so!
Cloud: How good can that be?
Tea: throw up something
Cloud: Here's a bon-bon (he throws it up and Tea shoots it in half)
Cloud: that's...good.
Tea: Hey got any materia? I wanna learn so bad how to use it! Can you teach
me? After all we have a long trip ahead so we have time right?
Cloud: Here have this Shiva materia...I don't wanna hold a love token from
a prepubescent girl.
Tea: Cool!
Cloud: Alright in order to use materia you just...(explains it) got it?
Barret: Isn't his explanations, make no sense?
Tea: uhhm It made perfect sense and I had a hard time understanding what
you said.
Barret: dammit! Why's everyone criticizing me?! (runs off)
Cloud: Let's see I haven't seen Red XIII, Tifa and that weird person
Tea: Yugi
Cloud: Yugi
(Yugi runs by)
Yugi: I snuck on at the last minute!
Tea: umm you're going to get caught
Yugi: O-o
Red XIII: Hey I look like a human don't I?
Tifa: I hate these suits...
Tea: Perfect timing! Cloud? What do we do in the meantime?
Cloud: I'm going to see the President now...
(Walks up to see the president in the main room with Heideggar and Mai.
Rufus keeps talking about Sephiroth with a random request for a bon bon
while Heideggar is laughing and Mai's adjusting her skirt while some of the
sailors are watching)
Mai: Don't you guys have some Playboys to look at? God have you never seen
a woman before?
Sailor's: No
Mai: *sigh* get a girlfriend!
Rufus: Another bon bon Ms. Gardner!
Tea: Gardner?
Mai: Here...on-a-spoon!
Rufus: Thank you!
Heideggar: G'ya ha ha I loved destroying the 7th sector pillar and blaming
it on Avalanche! Now they'll think they did it!
Rufus: I already knew that!
(A red light comes off and an announcer came on the intercom)
Announcer: Suspicious character found, repeat, suspicious character found.
Cloud: Are they talking about everybody else?
Tea: uh-oh...
Tifa: Let's go find out!
(Of coarse they go and find everybody except Yugi in the center of the
ship)
Red XIII: So it wasn't us
Mai: I hate this outfit! It rides up on my butt!
Tea: And what about your original attire? It's almost like that.
Mai: No, I'm more fashionable!
Tifa: Do you think it could be?...
Cloud: Yes...it's Sephiroth.
Tifa: How do you know I was going to say that? I was gonna say a false
alarm.
Cloud: Oh...well so-
Tifa: You're not psychic! You don't know what I was going to say so stop
thinking you do!
Barret: What time of the month is it?
Tifa: Shut up!
Red XIII: So who's going to see what's going on?
Tea: I want to!
Mai: Me too!
Yuffie: I don't...feel...good... so... ...UURRKK!!
All: EEE~WW!!
Red XIII: I'll go, I want to get out of this outfit.
Cloud: I will to...if it is Sephiroth...
Mai: Then we bash his face in!!
Cloud: ...no.
Mai: Why?
(The reason you ask? Cause I don't want to end this so early!)
Cloud: The rest of you make sure to stay undercover and ...please don't be
mad at me.
Tifa: What makes you think I am?!
Cloud: You're yelling at me!
Mai: Let's go!!
(They go down into the ship and see all the dead bodies except the one
that was standing at the end)
Tea: Eew!
Cloud: Sephiroth! (Touches the person who actually ends up dead and
Sephiroth comes up)
Tea: Ooh! What a hunk!
Cloud: (stares at Tea for a brief second) What are you doing Sephiroth?
Sephiroth: Do I know you?
Cloud: You don't remember?
Sephiroth: I don't have to, do I?
Mai: Cool sword! Can I touch it?!
Sephiroth: Do you know who I am?
Mai: Ummm not really.
Sephiroth: Blondes may be cute... but stupid!
Mai: Hey! I'm smarter than you honey! My I.Q. is 209!
Sephiroth: I don't have time to deal with you, now, The time is near.
Tea: Yes! I can hear the wedding bells now!
Sephiroth:(stares at Tea and Mai as in " what the hell?)...okay. I leave
you now (he flies over them and Jenova comes out)
Tea & Mai : HOLY CRAP!!
(Red XIII and Cloud get ready to attack)
Mai: huh? oh yeah! (grabs out whip and cracks it on Jenova)
Tea: Let's see...straddle the line, raise, pivot, drawback and...FOLLOW
TROUGH!!(shoots an arrow) Yay!
Cloud: Try to use the materia!
Tea: All right... umm *click* Diamond Dust!! (her magic casting sequence
starts off with her twirling around on her toes in a 360 degree rotation
then holding arms out straight in front of her as if she was holding a
ball)
(Shiva comes and does her work)
Mai: My turn, Ice 2!! (her magic casting sequence starts off with the whip
in a spiraling ring around her while her hand is in the air and her right
leg pulled up to her then brings her hand down in a swiping motion)
Jenova: *squoosh squirm*(think old alien noises) ( She uses tail laser on
Tea, Mai, and Red XIII)
Tea: Wow I feel strange...
Cloud: You guys don't know about limit breaks?
Tea: Limit breaks?
Cloud: I'll give the tutorial later, just use what you've got!!
Tea: umm, okay?...
(Jenova uses tail laser again and this time Mai Feels strange too)
Cloud: Cure! (casts cure (is this repetitive typing necessary?) on Tea)
Red XIII: Cure! (cast's in on Mai)
Mai: Wow I'm totally clueless!
Tea: FIRE SHOT!! (finally uses her limit break in which she shoots a
flaming arrow at high speed that exploded on contact) cool!
Mai: Wow! Let me try!
Red XIII: Fire! (casts fire)
(Jenova casts stop on Red XIII and it was succesful)
Mai: *Blink, blink*
Cloud: I'll tell you about Status effects later!
Mai: Shockline!! (her limit break, she cracks and attaches the tip of the
whip on Jenova and sends an electrical surge through the whip and stuns
Jenova) WOW!!! I am, like, so cool!
Jenova: (makes alien noises again then uses W-laser on Red XIII and Cloud)
Cloud: Okay, Cross-slash!! (his limit and if you don't know this one then
it's your own damn fault!)
Jenova: (alien noises then turns red and dies)
Tea: Cool!
Mai: Yeah!! More Materia! (picks up Ifrit materia)
Red XIII: Would you like to give an explanation?
Cloud: Well, no.
Mai: Fine, FI~NE! We don't need to know!
Tea: Materia and limit breaks are the coolest!
Announcer: We will be docking in Costa del Sol in a short while, please
whoever's throwing up all over the place do it overboard!
Mai: Yay!! I tan!!
Author notes: I hope this one was long enough for the one who said the
others were too short... I really had a fun time writing this one! oh and
for limit break charts as for now
Tea= Lv.1/ Element shot= shoots elemental arrows to hurt one enemy
possible attacks-- Fire shot-
fire elemental
Ice
shot-ice elemental
Bolt shot- lightning elemental
Mai= Lv.1/ Shockline= lightning damage and Paralysis to one enemy
And if you review this fanfic and ask for it I will send some of my artwork
for this fic (some in progress) to you such as Mai with a whip and/or other
things not relevant to this like my picture of Red XIII with wings or
Yuffie. but please note that if you do want to see them it may take a while
to send them to those who asked