Chapter 4: What Hurts the Most

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As Lucas stood quietly and looked around Brooke's one bedroom apartment, Brooke was planning the way she wanted words to come out when she talked to him. She didn't want to mention Peyton's name and how Lucas messed up two times with Brooke because of her. She just wanted to talk about the three of them going to NYU together. She didn't want to avoid the situation all summer, and then have to deal with it in New York. Brooke decided today would be the perfect day for it, so she could live her summer without regrets and worries. Brooke motioned for Lucas to have a seat on the couch. As Lucas took a seat, Brooke could not help but notice how shaky he was.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

For a minute Lucas and Brooke both sat in silence, their eyes wandering around the room, not knowing who was going to say something first, or when too.

"You made it pretty clear today that you didn't want to talk to me, or see me for that matter." Lucas said breaking the silence. "Good way to start a talk with your ex-girlfriend, idiot." He thought to himself regretting the words that had just came out of his mouth.

As the words came out of Lucas's mouth, her stomach turned into a bunch of knots, and she began to feel uncomfortable. This was not going to be simple and easy as she thought.

"I know, I don't want to talk about us, relationship wise, I want to talk about us, going to NYU together. I'm not going to lie to you Lucas, since you told me that, it's been pretty hard on me."

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me

"I know, Brooke and I am sorry for just springing that on you like that, but please listen to me." Lucas told her as he was beginning to start explaining to her why he chose NYU, but Brooke cut him off before he could finish.

"Just hear me out first please. Luke, you hurt me so much. God, I said I wasn't going to talk about us relationship wise, but I think this is the only time I can get out what I want to say. Yeah, I'm upset about, how you didn't tell me about the kiss between you and Peyton, Peyton still having feelings for you, and you not letting me all the way in. But Lucas, what hurts the most was being so close to a perfect relationship. I'm not angry that you are going to NYU, I just don't know how to handle it. I was planning to leave the past here in Tree Hill. I want to just escape from it all. And I can't do that if both you and Peyton are going to be attending NYU next year. I'm sure I can work things out with Peyton before summer ends, but with you, I'm not sure. I'm sorry Lucas, but it's going to take some time."

It took Lucas a minute to respond because he was taken back with all that Brooke had just said to him.

"Brooke, I am truly sorry that I hurt you. And I'm sorry that I said it felt like you kept pushing me away. I really don't know what to say except I love you and that you mean the world to me. I chose NYU because I didn't want our friendship to end this way. I didn't want things to be left unsaid. I know that this being our first real conversation since we ended things, nothing will be left unsaid, but Brooke, I just thought maybe if I gave you space and time to figure stuff about, we could try again. I want another chance with you more than anything in the world."

By the time Lucas finished talking, a single tear fell from Brooke's eyes.

There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

"Lucas, I gave you another chance. I believed you when you said you kept the 'Peyton' box to remind you of how much you screwed up. But obviously that was a lie because you screwed up, again."

"Brooke, the kiss between me and Peyton meant nothing."

"Don't kid yourself, a kiss always means something, and don't lie to me, and say you didn't feel anything. Because if you did, Lucas, you would have told me, right after it happened, you wouldn't have kept it buried."

"Brooke –"

"Lucas, please. I don't want to make matters worse. Nathan and Haley are waiting. I'll talk to you later." Brooke told him with tears in her eyes as she sat up and walked to the door. She held the door wide open, hoping that Lucas would get the hint that she wanted him to leave. Getting the hint, Lucas walked up and left.

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

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Obviously the weather was relating to Brooke's mood today, for it was pouring in the middle of June.

"Perfect." Brooke muttered to herself as she walked up to Nathan and Haley's car, "Hey sorry I kept you guys waiting."

"Oh, Brooke don't worry about it, nobody is suppose to arrive until 7:30 or 8 anyway. How did things go with Lucas?" Haley asked as Nathan began to drive to TRIC.

"Well, not exactly how I wanted it to go, but I didn't have to slap him, yet, so I guess all was good." Brooke laughed.

Haley joined Brooke in laughter. "That's good. Do you think that you two, um, will get back together?"

"Oh god, that question has been running through my mind all day. Honestly Hales, I still love him even if he did hurt me. I guess I will always love him, I mean we had a past together. And, about getting back together, I don't know at this point, but sometime once told me, that people that are meant to be together, always find their way in the end."

Nathan looked up into the rare view mirror and looked at Brooke. She smiled at him and mouthed 'Thank You' to him. Returning the same smile to her, he nodded.

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Karen was helping the DJ set up as Peyton walked up the stairs to TRIC.

"Peyton Sawyer. The first to arrive, and not fashionably late." Karen said as she walked up to Peyton and gave her a hug.

"Well you know I always have to be different." Peyton laughed as she returned the hug.

Karen laughed. "How've you been kiddo?"

"Uh, good I guess, but I'm missing my best friend."

"Yeah I guess you are, when was the last time you talked to her?"

"Probably about a week ago."

-Flashback-

"Hello B. Davis." Peyton said as she walked into Brooke's apartment.

Brooke returned the hello with a nod, not even glancing at Peyton.

"Are you still mad at me?"

"I don't know, are you still being a bitch who likes to steal her best friend's boyfriend?" Brooke asked brushing past Peyton and into the living room.

-End Flashback-

"She'll come around." Karen reassured Peyton.

"I hope so." She muttered as Karen walked away.

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Nathan, Haley and Brooke arrived at TRIC a few moments later.

"So were here, you ready to face Peyton and Lucas together?" Haley asked stepping out of the car.

"After the way I ended things with Peyton last week, not really." Brooke responded looking at her shoes.

"Why, what did you do Brooke Davis?"

"Well, I kind of called her a bitch that steals her best friend's boyfriend." Brooke shrugged.

"Nice." Nathan laughed as he walked by Brooke and Haley.

"Don't encourage her." Haley laughed linking arms with Brooke leading her into TRIC.

"Maybe if I'm lucky, Peyton isn't here yet."

"We can only dream, Brooke." Haley said, thinking of what Brooke will do if she sees that Peyton is here.

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Read&Comment Please! Thanks so much everyone for the reviews! They really mean a lot to me! Lyrics from Rascal Flatts's "What Hurts the Most" was used in this chapter.