I walked into my house rubbing my face as I walked into the living room plopping down onto the couch. My doorbell rang and I groaned looking over at the door. Do I really want to get up?
"If you don't answer your door I'm coming in." I rolled my eyes. Damn vampires. I stood up from my couch walking towards the door. I opened the door and sighed looking back at a wet and very distraught Edward.
"I'm fine. You can go home really." I muttered shutting the door again. He stuck out his arm propping it open. I sighed shaking my head. "You're not going to leave are you?" I asked looking over my shoulder. He smirked and shook his head. I nodded. "If you make my house smell I will be most unsatisfied." He chuckled and nodded. It seemed, however, that Edward was slightly less sweet. He had a much more subtle, but present scent. He walked in standing at the door step freezing as I put up a finger. I walked into the hallway and grabbed a towel out of the closet tossing it to Edward. He wiped himself down before walking into the house. I sat down on the couch and waited for him to join me because I knew he wasn't just going to leave. He came walking in and sat down on the couch next to me as I stared out the window.
"Why and how did you save her?" I sighed glancing to Edward uninterested. He lifted an eyebrow looking at me curiously. Curiosity, always such an interesting feeling. I shrugged my shoulders.
"Seeing as I know your friends are outside right now listening, I suppose I'll just tell you if I want to avoid more vampires or dogs in my house. Her death was going to be an accident. I do not take the lives of those who are going to die by any means other than old age or disease. A car accident doesn't constitute death." He looked at me shocked.
"So what? No act of God?" I chuckled hard once shaking my head.
"It's the naïve mindset that arouses some sort of amusement in me. People preach their God and their heaven as well as their Satan and their hell. There is no such thing. Believe what you will no matter how strong your faith is; any being that can kill a child or young mother cannot be great. I kept her alive because I knew she had a family. Little did I know Jacob was going to be involved in that equation. Not to lack the fact of his irrational behavior." I could hear snarling outside. Definitely Jacob. Edward laughed.
"He really is very thankful, even though he won't say anything." I nodded.
"I believe you. You all need to not worry about me. I'm just sore not dead." Edward frowned shaking his head.
"I'm sorry I didn't stop them." I rolled my eyes.
"It was not your fight to stop. Besides you would've just gotten yourself killed. I'm fine." I said again. They thought I was so breakable. I looked over at Edward and he shook his head staring back at me.
"May I ask you something?" Here comes his curiosity again. I nodded.
"Sure." He hummed.
"Can you really not feel?" I sighed and shook my head.
"It's not that I can't feel, I don't feel. I shut off my emotions a long time ago. I don't know sadness, guilt, pain, fear, curiosity, hate, or love." I paused as Edward frowned nodding. "I used to feel. I used to hurt and feel guilt and pain when I took a human's soul. That's all gone now though. I suppose if I tried to I could relearn how to feel again, I just haven't taken the time." He smirked and nodded.
"So if I tried telling you a joke," He drifted off. I shook my head.
"I wouldn't laugh." He grumbled.
"So a brunette, blonde, and redhead walk into a bar," He chuckled looking at me. I shook my head.
"Most don't laugh at those jokes as it is." I stated. He rolled his eyes.
"You really don't laugh. What about love? Can you love?" I shrugged my shoulders.
"I've never tried to. I suppose I loved my family when I was a human but loving another, which I'm sure you're asking, I have not." He smirked and nodded cocking his head to the side. I lifted my eyebrow.
"So if I were to kiss you, you wouldn't feel anything romantic." I furrowed my eyebrows shaking my head.
"What the hell?" Emmett yelled from outside. I sighed shaking my head looking at Edward.
"No I wouldn't. And no offense, but you're a vampire." He chuckled and nodded pulling back.
"What do you have against vampires? You don't know me. You might learn to really love me." I hummed and nodded.
"Maybe. But I've been fortunate enough to meet a few vampires in my lifetime. I don't trust anyone but myself. However, your clan is different. Your eyes and your skin are, different." I mused. He nodded leaning forward again.
"We don't feed off of humans. That's how we're in good acquaintance with the wolves. It's an agreement we made with their ancestors a long time ago." I nodded. Well that question was squashed. Edward kept staring at my face looking at my lips. "I would really love to see you smile." I huffed curving my lips into a smirk.
"I can smile, I just don't feel. You understand now?" He looked at me shocked and nodded.
"I do understand, now. I hope you know I'm going to make it my personal mission to make you feel again." I nodded.
"Sure. Solaria tried for 200 years and just now gave up. He's supposed to be the strongest being on this planet." Edward hummed. Another knock was at the door. I sighed looking at the door.
"My house is already going to smell after today you might as well come in." I muttered looking at the door. Emmett, Carlisle, and the woman from before came walking into the room looking at me with sad faces. I huffed. "Stop feeling like that. I'm fine. Like I said it was bound to happen." I sighed. Carlisle stepped forward shaking his head.
"I'm sorry for what happened to you. I want you to know that it won't happen again." I shook my head.
"Yes it will. But that's okay. I naturally upset people." Emmett huffed stepping forward bowing his head.
"I'm impressed that you took the beating without fighting back or saying something. I apologize. What you did, I can't even express to you how indebted I am to you." I shook my head.
"Seriously stop saying thank you. I'm alright. I wanted to." They furrowed their eyebrows.
"For someone who doesn't feel, saving another's person's life without reason or cause seems odd to me." I growled softly turning around looking at Jacob leaning in the doorway looking back at me. Alice, Rosalie, and Jasper were standing behind him with Sam, in human form, great now they were starting to trust me.
"Great, now my house is going to smell like dog. At least Edward didn't smell horrible, but damn," Everyone laughed. Edward grinned. I did not find this funny at all.
"I smell good?" He asked lifting an eyebrow. I nodded slightly.
"You don't smell as sweet as the others. You're tolerable." He cocked back his head shocked.
"Did you just call me tolerable? You must really like Jane Austen." I sighed and shrugged my shoulders.
"Forgive me. You're pleasurable." He smirked looking at me happily. I looked back to Jacob as he slit his eyes.
"Why did you save my mother? What reason other than stopping an accident did you have? You don't save someone's life without feeling." He accused. I sighed and looked down at my hands furrowing my eyebrows.
"I wasn't lying when I said I don't feel and I don't allow accidents to take another person's life. I supposed you could say it's a suppressed human memory of mine that's causing me to feel these subconscious feelings which I'm not truly feeling but enacting upon. It's difficult to comprehend, you wouldn't understand." I muttered shaking my head. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up at the hand following down to arm to see Edward looking back at me sadly.
"I do. I went through my dark period I guess you could call it. Feeling nothing but knowing it was moral immoral, right or wrong. Trust me I understand." I hummed and nodded.
"Maybe I won't completely hate you then." I sighed. He chuckled.
"And me?" I looked to Jacob and shook my head.
"Ironically enough you and I have more in common than you would think. But I suppose that's for a closer bondage between us before I begin to tell you my secrets and childhood memories." They all groaned. My lips twitched upwards again the happiness reaching my eyes for a split second. Feeling made me exhausted.
"There you go." Edward whispered stroking my face. I huffed.
"Don't get your hopes up pretty boy." He rolled his eyes. I looked around and sighed.
"We'll let you rest or sleep or whatever it is you do but Bella I want you to know that I would wish to speak with you again. Hopefully on more civil terms." I looked to Carlisle and nodded.
"Thank you Bella." I turned around to Jacob and nodded sighing.
"Don't mention it, ever. Seriously. Never. Again." He smirked and nodded walking outside with Sam following behind him loyally. I looked around to everyone else and they all smiled and tipped their heads leaving the house all but Edward who continued to stare at me from across the couch. "Aren't you going to leave with your family?" He chuckled softly and nodded standing up.
"I like you Bella." I hummed and nodded.
"That's nice." I said passively as he smirked.
"I'm going to get to you." He said simply leaning back turning around.
"You can try, but like I said it won't be easy." He laughed.
"I have forever." I nodded slightly. Not necessarily I mentally added. I wouldn't say that to him though. He walked through the door shutting it behind him leaving me alone in the quiet house all by myself. I haven't been around so many people who laugh freely and feel fully since I was a human. I was getting done with the feelings already. But yet again, it seemed they really were being sincere, of course after they tried killing me. But now they're coming to talk to me and coming to sit in my house to converse with me. These actions are so foreign to me. I've only seen other humans interact in this manner, but super naturals acting like this towards a death, me, was just unheard of. And Edward. What was happening with Edward? Why was he so hell bent on getting to me? He's trying to break down my walls and get to my heart. Why would you ever want to interact with death? No one would, that's why. I don't know. All I can do is do what I came here to do and get out before those vampires and wolves try breaking me down.