Disclaimer: Twilight's not mine, but whatever… everyone has their faults.

Chapter 4

BPOV

"Is it all going to fit, we-uh-I may have gone a little overboard." I eyed the sports car skeptically as Alice and I unloaded our third and final bag drop off at the Vanquish.

Dropping her bags with and exasperated huff she smiled, "Of course it's going to fit silly. I knew how much and what we were going to buy before we hit the highway. However, we have reached maximum capacity," she giggled at our purchases, "anymore I might have had to run home."

I rolled my eyes, "It would have never come to that and you know it. I would have went in there and returned some of these things before I made you run home. In fact, I should probably…" I trailed off bending over to gather a couple of bags from the ground to return them when that devil of a pixie grabbed me by the waist, placing me on the ground nearly twenty feet away from the car.

"You will do no such thing. You earned these. You earned every last shoe, sock and panty being married to that depressed mass of a man! From now on Bella "return" isn't in your vocabulary, along with "shouldn't", "too much" and "no Alice" got me?" I nodded, fairly afraid of the repercussions if I didn't.

Instantly Alice's dark mood brightened as she dashed to the car and began forcing the remaining bags into whatever crevice she could find, "Good, now that we got that handled, let's go home and model our goodies."

I rolled my eyes as I walked toward the car. I reached for the door handle, sending a worried look in Alice's direction, but she quickly reassured me of my safety with a smile and a nod as she forced the last bag behind our seats with her pristine, Jimmy Choo clad foot.

I slithered in behind the wheel, thanking genetics for my smaller build, otherwise the three hour drive home would be unbearable, as it was, I was running the chance of brushing the girls up against the steering wheel every time I made a turn. The car came to life as I searched for the right words to get out of Alice's "modeling" session. I went shopping without complaint; I think I had progressed enough for one day.

"Not on your life Bella." I shot a questioning eyebrow in Alice's direction and attempted not to laugh. There she was practically hunched over the dashboard, surrounded by bags in all directions, her seat fully erect and as far forward as the engineering would allow. She was sitting on my Barnes and Noble bag like a small child at the dining room table, with her feet propped up on numerous shoe boxes, but the best part was her scowl.

Swallowing down my giggles, I managed to force out, "Hey, I have kids to get home to. I don't get the joy of doing what I want anymore, which is disappointing, I know, but its life so… Hey maybe next time we'll plan for it." I smiled at my iron curtain argument, I was going to get to go home and edit the rest of that book while sipping on a nice glass of merlot in a nice quiet house. 'Not to bad Bella. Maybe you should pick up Politics.'

However, my mental celebration was cut short when that devil's minion chirped in, "I already got you a sitter, and actually," she looked down at her comically large diamond watch, "Em and Rose should have picked them up almost an hour ago."

"And why pray tell are they doing that?"

"So you can come over and model our goodies. Jesus Bella where were you like thirty seconds ago when we discussed this?" She was looking at me as though I had grown a second head.

I was pulling out of the parking deck, cautious of the families as they crossed the road and meandered amongst the parked vehicles, cooling my voice to a serious tone and punctuating my words I said, "Alice, no."

Feverishly she began to wag her right index finger in my face, "What the F, Ali? Get your hand out of my grill, I'm driving incase you didn't notice."

She froze momentarily in disbelief, "Did you just say 'grill?'" I nodded, keeping my eyes on the road, which apparently equated to vampire for 'speak loudly and use over exaggerated hands motions,' because that's exactly how the undead pixie continued. "Oh whatever… that's beside the point, didn't I just say that you were no longer permitted to say my name and no together?"

Smugly I explained myself. "Oh on the contrary, you said that I was no longer allowed the term "no Alice," but what I said was "Alice, no." What you implied suggests that I am not allowed refuse; however I was reprimanding, stating that you had not right to decide my actions for me. When you imposed your rules you failed to take into consideration contextual identifiers, therefore giving me a linguistic loophole."

She huffed crossing her arms over her chest and pouting dramatically, "English majors."

I rolled my eyes at her, "I don't know why you're huffing and puffing over there, you know that I'm going to cave."

Smiling, she shifted proudly in her seat, "I know, but sometimes you just make such a good argument I feel that you deserve to feel like you have a chance."

"Thanks, I think." She nodded at me then turned her gaze out window as we merged onto the highway towards home.

* * * * *

We had been on the road for nearly three hours, not really saying much. I was tired and secretly guilty for spending that much of Edward's money, not the spending the part, that fucker's loaded and left me with his kids; he deserved the dip in his finances. It was the fact that I was spoiling myself and my children, like a material bandage for the pain he caused, I was filling his void with commercial goods and that just made my stomach twist. Not that I would tell Alice.

"STOP!"

I whipped my head over at a bouncing Alice, she looked eager, her fidgeting extremities making the bags that cocooned her shiver.

"Bella, you need to pull off at the next exit!"

"Why?"

I a flow of nearly incomprehensible excuses Alice spewed words in my direction. "I have to go the bathroom, you need coffee: you looking a little puckish, I promised Emmett that I would buy him one of those clever shot glasses shaped like a gun that says 'Strait shootin' in Seattle': you know how he likes those things, Oh and a muffin, you definitely need a muffin: your blood sugar needs a boostin."

Skeptically cautious I asked "You have to go to the bathroom?"

Looking stunned she turned to me and crossed her arms. "What? No. Well that's just preposterous Bella; I don't think that's funny. Are you making fun of me for being a Vampire, because I can't help it? I can't be in this car right now, you hurt my feelings. Pull over at the next exit."

Nodding slowly at the clinically insane woman beside me I agreed, signaling as I merged into the other lane then onto the exit ramp. Thinking that a little coffee probably wouldn't hurt, I pulled into a Starbucks' parking lot, taking a spot. Before I could cut the engine, Alice was out of the car and halfway to the door. 'Maybe she did have to use the bathroom.'

I kept my sunglasses on my face as I slid out my car, noticing the group of college aged boys taking in my appearance as they waited in the drive thru lane. Enjoying the ego boost, I smirked in their direction as I set the alarm system while I approached the coffee shop door. I have always a pretty girl, beautiful according to my ex-husband, but with each of my pregnancies my features became sharper, my skin paler, and my figure thinner, more vampire than human, and frankly I was looking pretty good, not that I'm one to toot my own horn.

A bell chimed signaling my entrance, gaining me more attention. Sweeping my sights over the people I noticed the absence of a certain pixie.

I moved to the line where I patiently waited for my turn to order a five dollar cup of overpriced heaven and caffeine, all the while keeping my eyes peeled for the five foot ball of fury.

"Grande, skinny, upside-down caramel macchiato" the coffee genius that made my delicacy called out my order which I happily received smiling my gratitude in her direction.

"OH MY GOD BELLA!" Alice's excited musical voice rang through the establishment as she skipped in my direction pulling with her a discombobulated blonde man. Stopping well within my personal space she chimed out, "Look who I ran into as I left the bathroom? You remember Mike Newton from high school don't you Bella? What a coincidence that we would stop at the same Starbucks at the same time? What has it been like five years since we saw you last?"

Looking at me Mike smiled sheepishly, "Yup haven't seen you two since your wedding Bella; how's Edward doing?"

I audibly gulped as I took my non-cup-holding hand and pushed Alice a reasonable space away from me by means of her face, "Bubble Alice, we've talked about this." I grumbled out in her direction before shifting my attention to what Newton had said. "Yeah, uh it's been a while. Edward and I aren't even married anymore."

His eyes widened in surprise, "No fucking way, you guys were like soul mates. I mean the way he looked at you, you hung the moon the stairs and the fucking sun for Cullen. How's he dealing with it? Shit, when did it happen?"

I smiled at him and shook my head as I moved toward a cluster of comfortable looking chairs, figuring this was going to take longer than the time available in the pick-up line of Starbucks. I began to answer his questions after I settled into an overstuffed brown leather seat.

"Well let's see, um Edward left me about seven months ago give or take. Really never gave a reason, just one day got out of bed and left me in New Hampshire with our two kids. Other than him paying my credit card bills I haven't heard from him." I tried to shrug it off as I took a sip of my happiness feebly attempting to suppress the feeling of loss that was crushing down on me.

Mike looked down at his own cup. "That's just fucked up. Don't get me wrong, leaving your wife is one thing, a shitty thing, but bailing on your kids," he paused shaking his head, "that's a pussy's way out, no fucking man would do that." He grew quiet again before speaking in a softer voice, "I'm sorry that you had to go through that Bella, I don't know what else to say. Don't get me wrong, Cullen and I never got along back then, but I always expected him to take care of you, I think everybody did."

I gave him a half-hearted smile that didn't reach my eyes as I noticed an attractive black man walk in our direction.

"What the fuck Newton? You say you're just popping in for a piss and a latte and ten minutes later I find you sitting here with two beautiful ladies and you just leave me in the car?" His accent was thick and of the British persuasion and it made my heart flutter, but it was his confidence as he smiled and winked at me that caused my face to heat as a pink blush settled on my cheeks.

"Sorry dude," Newton began explaining to his companion, "but after twenty hours travel time next to your sour Scottish ass, there was no fucking way I was going to pass up the opportunity to reminisce with these fine Forks females."

"Fine Forks females, that's quiet the alliteration Newt, how long did it take you to think that one up?" Mike snorted into his coffee, but didn't retaliate opting instead to take a long slug from his latte. "Well my friend, are you going to introduce me or what?"

Mike nodded as he swallowed his sip, "I was just waiting for you shut the fuck up long enough for me to get a word in." The black man once again winked at me, but remained silent as Mike made our introductions. "Ladies this is Lieutenant Darien McGraff of Her Majesty's Army Special Forces." Mike's friend winked again, shoving his hands in his pockets giving me a better view of what he was working with. His head was clean shaven, along with his face. He had sharp features that were accented handsomely by his strong jaw line. His shoulders were broad and strong, not as large as Emmett by any means, but the man obviously spent a good amount of time in the gym. His white t-shirt was thin enough that I could make out a crucifix tattoo on his right pectoral and the words 'I will lay down my life for my queen and country' written on his upper arm. His pants hung low on his hips, and were comfortably lose all the way to where they gathered around his bright white Air Force Ones. He was the complete opposite of Edward and I found that extremely attractive in its own right.

While I was shameless gawking at Darien, Mike had moved on to introduce me and Alice. "D this is Alice Cullen, or is it Hale yet?"

Alice's grin split her face as she jumped up to shake Darien's hand, "Nope still Cullen," she shot over her shoulder to Mike, "But I have a feeling that Jasper's going to ask any day now."

Mike chuckled at her assuredness and I rolled my eyes, but Alice remained undeterred as she made pleasantries, "It's such a pleasure to meet you Darien. Like Mike said I'm Alice Cullen, and this beautiful mama over here is my sister-in-law Isabella Cullen."

"Ex-sister-in-law," I corrected as I stood to shake the man's hand, "and everyone calls me Bella."

Damien queered and eyebrow in Mike's direction, to which Newton took a long sip of his drink to avoid responding, leaving Darien on his own.

"Well it's a pleasure to meet you Alice and Bella Cullen, now how do you two know good ol' Newt?"

"We went to Forks High together" Alice chimed, "How do you know Mike?"

"Iraq." He said with a shrug.

"Yeah," Mike elaborated, "I got shot in the ass about fourteen months back, nothing substantial enough to get sent home, but I had to spend some time in the hospital where I ended up in a bed next to this tool." Darien flicked Mike off. "Well needless to say we started talking about what got us all bedded up and when I said that I was an Army Ranger, D told me that he was a member of The Queen's special forces, giving us something to shoot the breeze about."

I nodded along with Mike and Darien.

"So you guys became instant friends?" Alice asked.

Mike shook his head, "Well when you say it like that you make us sound like we have vaginas, but in an essence, yes we became instant friends."

"So Darien what brings you to Washington?" I asked, my voice sounding rough and unlike my own.

"Well Newt and I just got done serving up a tour, and I really don't have much family back home so I thought why not take some time to see the states, find out what all the hype is about."

"And what do you think?"

"Well so far I've only seen the airport, and the inside of this Starbucks, but I have a feeling that if I keep running into lovely ladies like you, I might never go home to Scotland." Darien winked at me again, my face reacting in typical Bella style.

"Well as much as I love a good reunion," Newton said standing up and dusting off the tops of his thighs, "I need a shower and a home cooked meal, so we're going to head out."

Alice followed Mike's lead and stood up as well, "Yeah, Bella and I should hit the road too, stuff to do, people to see, you know."

Mike smiled at the Alice, "It was really good to see you two, and we should get together for a beer sometime soon, maybe when it comes time to celebrate that engagement of yours Alice."

Alice giggled, bouncing on the balls of her feet, "Sure thing Mike, we'll get together soon." Instantly Alice's demeanor changed as her eyes clouded ever so slightly. As quickly as it came her vision left, but not before relaying its message. Turning to Darien she stated, "Wednesday."

"Excuse me?"

"Bella's free on Wednesday, pick her up at eight sharp, not eight-o-five, not seven-fifty-five, eight o'clock at the Chief's house, Mike can give you directions."

I was frozen under the humiliation of her brazenness, but Darien laughed it off and winked at me again, 'God that man has a sexy wink'.

"Then I'll see you on Wednesday night Bella, dress comfortable, you never know what we military guys will come up with."

I nodded speechless as Mike and Darien exited the coffee shop.

"No fucking way. I don't believe it Ali, you just told him to pick Bella up at eight and Wednesday and he agreed?" Rose had decided to join our girl's night leaving Mason and Elizabeth under the watchful eyes of the uncles.

Nodding vigorously Alice said, "Well I got the vision, but it wasn't solid, leaving me to believe that he wasn't going to ask, so I just stepped up to the plate. I told him when and where to pick her up, I just used his language, the man's used to taking orders so I gave them to him."

Turning her attention my way Rose inquired, "So what do think of the situation Bella?"

"I think Alice threw me under the goddamn bus."

"I knew that much," she said with a dramatic eye roll, "I mean you are going to go aren't you?" Rosalie had been up my ass about 'getting back in the game' for the last two months, which I had successfully been avoiding since every guy in Forks still saw me as "Cullen's wife" which therefore translated into "Keep the fuck away." But Alice's little stunt this afternoon placed me right where Rose wanted me, with the one man that was naive enough to ask, or say yes, whatever.

"I don't know Rose," I pinched the bridge of nose under the stress of the situation, "I don't have a sitter, and I haven't said anything to the kids about me seeing other people, up until last night my kids weren't sleeping through the night because of Edward, the last thing I want is for them to think that they're losing me too."

She nodded taking in all the information and quickly countered all of my arguments. "Bella, I don't want to hear this bullshit about you not having a sitter, you live with your parents and your brother, not to mention that any of us are more than willing to take the kids for any amount of time." I nodded knowing full well she was right, "And that other stuff, you don't have to tell them you're dating. It's not like you're going to replace Edward tomorrow with this guy, but it's about time that you start getting out. You are too pretty to be acting like a widow. Bella, Edward didn't die, he left and went who the fuck knows where. You need to move on. You owe it to yourself."

"Fine" I grumbled out.

"Really you'll go?" Alice squealed.

"Yes," I said flopping onto Alice's bed, "I'll go, but I don't want the kids to know."

"Right, that makes sense," Rose moved over to Alice's vanity to peruse her sister's nail polish selection. After finding just the right shade of red she spoke to me in the reflection of the mirror, "but how are young to keep that from Birdie, she's going to know if you lie."

"Actually, I've mastered that already. She can only tell if you're lying if she asks you a direct question, so we make sure not to give her any inclination of what questions to ask."

Alice giggled, "Ah the joys of motherhood, is it true you grew eyes in the back of your head during your first pregnancy along with these Jedi mind tricks you've developed?"

"Fuck off Alice."

"You know since you and Edward broke up you've developed a bit of a potty mouth."

I responded sarcasm dripping from every word, "Thanks for that in-depth observation Alice, I don't know if I ever would have noticed had you not pointed that out."

"No need to be condescending Bella," Alice huffed crossing her arms over her chest, "I was just teasing."

Before I had the opportunity to refute her allegations, there was soft knock at the door.

"Come in," Alice called out.

Esme came in, leaving the door a jar behind her, "Girls, can I talk to Bella for a second? It won't take long."

Without a word Rose and Alice exited the room, closing the door behind them with a defining 'click'.

She practically floated as she crossed the room to take the seat next to me, looking an equal mixture of distraught and nervous, my curiosity was starting to get the better of me. "What's up Esme?"

"Well dear," she began to twist her hands in her lap, keeping her eyes locked on them as she did so, "I couldn't help but hear that you have a date this week and… well… I think that's wonderful."

My head tilted to the left hoping she would elaborate, because I sure as shit didn't see that coming.

"This is going to make me sound like a horrible mother, which who knows maybe I am, but I'm happy that your trying to move on, trying to get your life in order. I can't tell you how disappointed I am in my son for what he did to you and those babies. I know he must have a reason, but when he left, he didn't just leave you, he left all of us broken when we didn't need to be. So yes, I'm happy that you're trying to fix at least one of us." Her eyes displayed utter happiness when she finally looked at me.

I reached over, pulling one of her frigid hands into both of my warm one saying the only thing I could think of, "Thank you."

A breathtaking maternal smile full of love and affection swept over her features momentarily before she broke eye contact with me to look at our joined hands.

"Esme?"

"Yes dear?"

"Was there anything else you wanted to say to me?"

Ringing her hands with a little more force she nodded her head, still focused on her lap, "Carlisle and I were talking," she began finally shifting her sights on my obviously uncertain form, "you can relax sweetheart, it's nothing bad." I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as she continued. "We were talking about your current living situation; I know you love Charlie, but there are so many people in that little house. Darling we have the money, you have the money to be on your own, but you haven't."

I gulped concerned with the direction the conversation was headed in.

Esme smiled, squeezed my hand a little tighter, and the tucked a misbehaving lock of hair behind my left ear. "Bella, Carlisle and I know that you won't let us buy you a house, but the cottage in the woods is yours, always has been, and we would like you to consider moving back there."

My chest constricted instantly, move back into the first house I lived in with my husband, the first home we made love in, possibly the house my daughter was conceived in, no. I shook my head as the memories came flooding back, all the love, the security, the now unfulfilled empty promises, it was just too much, a sob broke against my better judgment. "I don't think that will be possible Esme, too many memories, but thank you."

She nodded knowingly, "I thought that you would say that, so Emmett and I have spent the last month or so remodeling it, adding a third bedroom and a study, manipulating the floor plan, creating a new color scheme. I even plated a new garden. It's a different home from before, not created for newlyweds, built for a family. So please, I understand if you choose to remain at your father's, but consider it, maybe even go see it tomorrow?"

"Okay," I whispered out "We'll go early in the morning to look at it, but I can't…" I trailed off, not entirely sure where my thoughts were headed.

My mother-in-law wrapped her arms around me lovingly before she told Alice and Rose they could come back in.

I expected Esme to leave when they returned, but she stayed seated. Instead she turned to Alice and lifted her right foot, wiggling her toes in her daughter's direction, "Alice, do be a dear and do something about this color, I think it washes me out."

My stomach was flipping relentlessly as I rode on Emmett's back to the cottage, it could have been the captain of the freaking US gymnastics team. I asked him not to go too fast, told him I was a little queasy, he happily obliged.

"Thanks for the heads up little mama, vomit at fifty miles an hour would fuck up any body's day."

None the less, we arrived all too soon, my eyes clamped shut, partially from the run, but mostly out of fear for the final destination. I never disengaged my hold on Emmett's body when we stopped, forcing him to pry me off. "Alright Bells, trust me there's nothing to worry about. So come on and let go, you'll be fine, I'm here, if you need to dip quick, just say the word, okay?"

I nodded into back as I slid down his gargantuan torso, using it as a shield for the house I had yet to see.

I don't know what I was afraid of, maybe the memories, maybe the pain, or maybe I was scared that he wouldn't be able to find me here if he ever came to look. Eventually I opened my eyes, stepping from behind my brother-in-law's massive form to take in the sight of a completely unfamiliar house.

"Is it even the same house?" I asked in awe.

"Yup," Emmett responded, "Esme told you I've been working for a month on it, basically made it a new house on the old foundation."

"But it looks so… I don't know… lived in"

"Yeah, well, Esme wanted to give you as much Old World charm possible with every modern convenience. Do you want to look inside?" Emmett reached out his giant hand and I distractedly placed mine within it, still dazed by the transformation.

The inside held even more of a change, no longer did you enter into the family room, instead the front entrance emptied into a large yellow eat-in kitchen with a fireplace and stainless steel appliances. To the right were a couple steps that led to a living room with overstuffed furniture in calming earth tones positioned to look out over the forest through a large picture window. There were two smaller bedrooms on the main floor, one light blue, the other tan, and a small bathroom. Near the front door of the house there was a winding stone staircase that led up to the master suite. It was a light pink color with bright white trim and fresh flowers everywhere. To the right lay an alcove lined with shelves, a large antique desk in the center. To the left, the bathroom had a stone shower with an oversized shower head, and a claw foot soaking tub, essentially the house was completely and irrevocably perfect.

"Emmett, the house is beautiful, you've outdone yourself big brother." There were tears in my eyes, but I forced myself to fight them down.

"Does that mean you'll move in?" He questioned excitedly. I don't know what it is about him and Alice, maybe they feed their prey speed before they eat, they are just so freaking excited all the time, it's losing is endearing quality.

"Yes," I said with a mixture of defeat and excitement in my voice.

"That's fucking fantastic Bells," he said as his spun me around what was soon to be my bedroom. "Let's get you home and packed, you can be in here by tomorrow morning."

I laughed at his enthusiasm, "Put me down Emmett. And yes I need to get home so I can start packing, but I also need to tell Charlie and the kids, and that's going to require some delicate negotiation."

"Have Alice do it," he suggested, "She's got your dad wrapped around her finger and the kids are a little scared of her."

"As much as I would like to push that in her direction, I need to put on my big girl panties and handle this on my own."

"Edward said you don't wear panties" the big man accused.

"Edward's an asshole." I stated bitterly.

Slinging his heavy arm over my shoulders as we exited my new home he said, "Yeah, but you love him."

Sighing in acceptance I confided, "Until the end of time."