Mitch Baker lie, asleep. He dreamed of a time when Tommy Vercetti was but an alcoholic grasshopper, and Vice City was not a city but a great nation which had 5 dictators in its time before it was struck by the New Wave of Freedom which turned it into an America.
The founder of Vice, Sonictits, was the great great great great great great grandmother of Candy Suxxx. Her boobies were so massive, they were hollowed out to fit cathedrals in which the people of this young desert nation worshiped Vercetti, the god of shitstorms. Unfortunately, this dynasty was short-lived before Goobertroob, a man born with a boob in place of a penis, revolutionized the land, turning it into an expansive oasis where sharks claimed dominion. Sharks used to have legs in place of fins, but the sharks did not believe in Vercetti, so the people of Vice crusaded against the toothy people, forcing them to live in the water where they became shark mermaids.
With the fall of the atheist sharks, Vercettism became the universal religion of Vice's people. The god himself descended upon Vice and granted unto his people a great miracle: the miracle of crack. The citizens got so fucked up on Vercetti's divine creation, they thought there were 3 more dictators after Goobertroob, who was assassinated by Vercetti. But Vercetti had his body stolen by a drunk bug named Tommy, becoming Tommy Vercetti.
Mitch Baker awoke from his nap. He was in a cold sweat. He went in the kitchen, opened his fridge and took out a carton of cocaine. He chugged it, then shuffled back to his couch, where he drifted off to sleep once more.