I don't own anything.
Detective Ikari: The Price of Blood
-Chapter Four: Opportunities
Mana watched as the target of their investigation helped his friend move into his new house. "People are stupid."
"Astute observation," Spades commented.
"If you say you've got a thrown back, why not lie around and just collect your paycheck?"
"People are stupid," Spades replied as he checked the camera. "Job done and a rather large paycheck in the bank." He started the Charger and pulled out into traffic.
"Is spying all that private detectives do?" Mana asked.
"Pretty much," Spades replied. Mana stared out the window and considered her next series of questions.
"Hey Spades?"
"Yeah?"
"I heard somebody say that you're a doctor, is that true?"
"Of course it is," Spades replied. "I told you I was." A muscle in the corner of Mana's eye spasmed.
"So, where did you go to school?" Mana asked, deciding to push on with her attempts at friendship.
"University of Southern California," Spades replied.
"The Trojans?" Spades nodded. "Did you do any sports?" Mana pressed on.
"I was a boxer," Spades replied.
"Were you any good?" Mana asked.
"A little." They lapsed back into silence. Spades pulled into the parking garage of the building holding the Young Private Security Company offices. He pulled into a parking spot and climbed out. "Let's go."
"Right." Mana climbed out. This job was starting to become a pain in her ass. She frowned as she noticed that Spades had popped the trunk.
"You know how to use a shotgun?"
"Yeah."
"Good." Spades pulled out a stocky weapon that she recognized instantly. "This is a SPAS-12. We only use it in pump-action because we use low-powered beanbag rounds." Mana took the offered weapon and looked it over. It was an ancient and heavy design, but still felt and looked ridiculously intimidating. Spades took the weapon and pulled out something else. "Ever use one of these?"
"No," Mana replied. "Is that a rifle?"
"Yes." Spades unfolded the weapon. "This is a Kel-Tec. Most of us have at least two in our cars. There's a short barreled one under your seat for as long as Mark forgets its there. This is the safety, this is magazine release." He pulled the charging handle back and stuck his finger into the magazine well, locking the bolt back. "When you shoot the last round, reload it and smack this to let the bolt go home." Mana put the shotgun back in the trunk and took the offered weapon.
"You're really good with guns, aren't you?"
"My livelihood rests on my proficiency with guns and my fists," Spades stated. Mana handed the weapon back and he stuck it back in the trunk.
"You really like this job, don't you?"
"It's all I have really," Spades replied. He hesitated. "That sounds pathetic, doesn't it?"
"No," Mana replied truthfully. "Actually, it explains a lot."
"If we don't have anything else to do today I'll take you back out to the Stumps and we'll get some trigger time."
"Sounds good to me."
(:ii:)
Mark glanced up as the door opened and Spades walked in. "Catch the insurance fraud guy?"
"Naturally," Spades replied as he closed the door behind man.
"He was doing something stupid, wasn't he?" Mark asked.
"Would he be doing anything else?" Mana asked.
"We're jading her already," Mark commented. "Or at least you are."
"I have that effect," Spades replied. "We're just checking in to see if we have any other jobs."
"No," Helen stated. "You're good for the rest of the day."
"Alright," Spades stated. "We're heading for the Stumps. Coming?" Mark glanced at his partner. Misato just shrugged. They didn't have anything to do either.
"Sounds good," Mark stated. "We're just waiting for a pizza. We were about to leave."
"I'll get it," Spades replied. He must have seen Mark's eyebrow rise. "The streets are choked right now. You don't drive and Misato doesn't know her way around yet. I'll be faster."
"I'll go with him," Misato volunteered. They both walked out and Mark continued to hen peck the keyboard of Amber's computer. She was out looking pretty as the head of the company.
"Mark?" Mark glanced up.
"Yes?"
"Well, first, I'm Mana Kirishima," Spades new partner stated.
"Mark Anderson," Mark returned as he took the offered hand. They really hadn't formally introduced each other.
"You were Spades' partner, right?" Mana asked as she sat on Amber's desk.
"For a while," Mark replied. "We joined at about the same time. Spades worked with Tim and I worked with a man named Frank who retired. Somehow we ended up working together."
"You knew each other pretty well, right?" Mana pressed.
"As good as we could," Mark returned. "Neither of us were really touchy feely."
"You're guys," Mana pointed out dryly. "Anyway, how did you get to know each other?"
"Pardon?" Mark pulled off his reading glasses and stared at the woman.
"I'm trying to be a good partner," Mana stated. "The problem is, he doesn't seem to want to be my partner. Every time I try to strike up a conversation, he barely responds."
"He isn't a talker," Mark replied. "And he doesn't open up to many people."
"How can we work together if we don't talk and trust each other?" Mana asked.
"Wait till you two have to really work together," Mark stated. "Once you've fought side by side you'll have his trust. He'll never talk to you like you want, but he will trust you if you prove trustworthy."
"Wonderful."
(:ii:)
Misato watched as the city of Los Angels blew by the Charger. Her amusement at Spades' driving was that of a teacher watching their student. "How have you been?" Spades asked.
"Good," Misato replied. "It's a little tricky to be speaking English all the time, but I'm coping."
"Good," Spades stated. "How do you like the job?"
"Except for that little test," Misato began, "it's been good. Despite the fact that I went from a Lieutenant Colonel to being the new guy again, I really like it. It's been too long since I got to really do something. Once you make field grade, there are always underlings to do everything."
"There is a certain part of all of us that enjoys the toil and hassle of hard work," Spades stated, "at least in those of us that don't toil and hassle enough."
"Is that some way of saying that you don't think I worked hard enough?" Misato asked.
"Because of the company I keep, I have an enlisted man's attitude towards non-combatant officers," Spades replied. "Nothing personal."
"I thought you'd have more trust in the person who told you what to do in a war," Misato commented, "especially since you're still around."
"Good point," Spades replied as the car pulled over. "You aren't having it too hard are you?"
"Is that worry in your voice?" Misato teased as they climbed out.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night," Spades replied.
"Couldn't you have just said yes?" Misato asked as she led the way into the pizza shop.
"No," Spades replied truthfully.
"I guess you overcompensated for being a doormat for the first part of your life," Misato stated. She turned to the man behind the counter. "Anderson."
"Right." He walked towards the ovens to find their order.
"So, no regrets?" Misato turned and grinned at Spades.
"Nah. This is kind of fun."
"You still have to go through long gun qual," Spades commented. "If you thought pistol qual was bad, wait for this."
"You don't always have to be so cheerfully," Misato pointed out sarcastically.
(:ii:)
Amber pushed the door to her office open and frowned as she took in the scenery. "Having fun?"
"Yup!" Amber watched as Misato slammed back one of those double-sized cans of beer.
"You'd better not get drunk," Mark stated. "We're going for range qualification after this. I swear to some god, I will not let you have one round if you can't pass a sobriety test."
"Leave her be," Spades ordered as he sipped his own beer between slices of pizza. "She's been drinking like that for as long as I've known her."
"Didn't you say that you learned to drive because she used to pass out in bars?" Amber asked as she closed the door.
"Also had to chase away assholes trying to take advantage of her," Spades replied. "That's where I found out that I have a talent for beating people senseless." Misato snorted as she drank and began coughing. Mana quickly smacked her on the back in an attempt to clear Misato's airway.
"You never told me that!"
"You never asked," Spades returned. "And you always attributed the new black eye or fat lip to Asuka." Amber watched with interest as Misato eyed the beer in her hand and set it down.
"You had a drunk for a guardian, eh?" Mark asked. "Its no wonder you drink like you do."
"My guardian being a drunk makes it no wonder that I can drink like I do," Spades retorted. "I do drink like I do for my own reasons."
"I wish you'd cut back," Amber stated as she grabbed a slice of pizza for herself.
"Hypocrite," Spades retorted.
"I've cut back!" Amber protested. "Though, it's mainly because my favorite drinking buddy isn't available too often."
"Busy," Spades returned. Amber felt like someone had punched her in the stomach, but she refused to show the pain. Beings Spades' friend for so many years, she was no stranger to offhand comments like that. "How about Saturday?"
"What?" Amber asked, drawn out of her own thoughts by Spades' question.
"You, me, drinking Saturday," Spades stated. "We could head over to Mike's place just like old times."
"I don't think he'd be to understanding if a pair of adults passed out drunk at his bar," Amber pointed out. Spades just shrugged and ate another slice. "See you at six."
"Deal." Amber leaned back in her seat. Spades stood and brushed the crumbs from his vest. "Time to go."
"It's getting late," Amber pointed out.
"I know," Spades stated. "We won't have to use an indoor range for the low light portion." Leave it to Spades to have everything planned out. The rest of the group stood and followed the man to the door.
"Good luck!" Amber called. "And don't shoot each other. You don't have health insurance!" The door closed.
"Planning on getting drunk and fooling around?" Helen asked innocently. Amber's eyebrow twitched.
"Docked paycheck!"
"Calm down," Helen ordered peacefully. "Don't forget condoms. I'd hate to see the byproduct of a night of drunken humping between you and Spades."
"He had a vasectomy," Amber replied matter-of-factly. "Said something about how he was sure that he'd never be able to raise a child as well as he hoped."
"He really is the perfect man," Helen commented.
"Oh, go hump Tim." Helen's jaw dropped open and her cheeks burned red. Amber turned in her chair to hide her smirk. Spades wasn't the only one who could strike the petite Canadian speechless, even if he could do it with a little more class and less vulgarity.
(:ii:)
"Load your weapons," Spades watched critically as Mana and Misato loaded their Kel-Tec rifles.
"You still have my rifle in your car," Mark commented.
"Hmm," Spades grunted. "On your own time, fire one hammer pair and one controlled shot. Fire!" Twin beams of light slashed through the range's darkness and six shots echoed out. "Eject your magazines and hold 'em up for chamber inspection." He nodded to Mark and looked at Mana's rifle while the other detective checked Misato's. The bolt was locked back showing the empty chamber and Spades sent the bolt home. "Sling them and let's go check them."
"This is the last test, right?" Mana asked as she turned off the light clamped to the barrel's fore grip and slung the weapon over her shoulder. Spades glanced at his watch. It was well after one in the morning.
"If you passed it," Spades replied as they walked across the range to the targets. Spades turned his flashlight on Mana's target and stared at the holes in the torch's crimson light. "Here's the hammer pair." Spades stared at the two holes in the torso area. They were centimeters apart. He turned the light on the third hole in the head. "You passed."
"Same here," Mark called from Misato's target. "We're done. Can we go home now?" Spades stared at the target.
"Okay."
"Thank God!" Mana exclaimed as the adjusted the Kel-Tec's sling. "That sucked!"
"I did everything you did," Spades stated.
"That's not fair," Mana replied. "You're not human. Tim said so."
"She has a point," Mark commented.
"Mister Ikari?" Spades turned and brought his light to bear on the intruder's face, more out of habit than ill will.
"Who's asking?"
"I'm William Payne," the man stated. Spades stared at the man's face. The man must have noticed. "Yeah, I'm Bill's son." Spades nodded, his suspicion that the man before him was Spades' gunsmith's son.
"You look like your father," Spades replied. "I saw your picture, but it was pretty old."
"I was distraught from my father for several years," William stated. "We only just reconciled when we found out what was wrong with him."
"The cancer?" Spades asked as he dug out a pack of Gold and Milds. William nodded. "He died, didn't he?"
"Yes," William stated, his voice hitching slightly. "He asked me to find you before he died and tell you when the will reading is."
"Why?" Spades asked, taking one of the filter-tipped cigars between his lips and lighting it.
"You were one of his best customers and possibly the only man who could put up with him enough to be called a friend," William stated. He handed Spades a card. "I'll see you there." Spades watched as he walked away and shoved the card in his pocket.
"Are you okay?" Mana asked.
"I'm fine," Spades stated, taking a drag on his cigar. "Mark, can you. . ."
"We'll take Mana home," Mark stated. Spades nodded his thanks and walked towards his car.
(:ii:)
"Men," Misato grumbled in disgust. "Would it kill you to show your emotion?"
"Yeah," Mana agreed from the backseat.
"That's not fair," Mark shot back. "You're comparing all men to Spades."
"How do you think he's going to handle this?" Mana asked.
"Not too well," Mark replied. "Billy Payne was a good friend. You know how Spades is with guns? Well, this was the guy Spades trusted to make those guns."
"So, they were really close?" Misato guessed.
"I wouldn't say friends," Mark replied, "but that's only because Spades is who he is. I'd say more like master and apprentice. Billy taught Spades how to shoot."
"What's he going to do?" Mana pressed.
"Go home and get really drunk," Mark stated. Mana leaned back in her seat and frowned. This was a good opportunity.
"Do you know where he lives?" she asked. Mark turned in his seat and stared at her. "I'm his partner. I should go talk to him."
"No, you shouldn't," Mark stated.
"Just drop me off," Mana ordered.
"Alright." Misato took a few wild turns and pulled to a stop.
"It's that building," Mark stated. "Room four-oh-fifteen."
"Thanks." Mana climbed out of the car and watched it pull away. She glanced around the street and spotted a liquor store. "Perfect."
(:ii:)
Spades frowned as someone knocked at his door. He grabbed his snubbie out of the shoulder holster hanging by the door and glanced through the peephole. He took a deep breath, undid all the locks, and opened the door. "What's wrong?"
"Just thought you might want company," Mana stated.
"I don't," Spades stated. He waved her inside, more out of a desire to get his door locked up again, and closed the door. He set about locking all the deadbolts again.
"Paranoid?" Mana asked. She stepped into the cloud of smoke that had begun to form from Spades' smoking and began hacking.
"So soon shall you be," Spades returned. He frowned as Mana picked up the bottle he had been working on and sniffed at it.
"Whoa! What the hell is this stuff?"
"About five bucks a gallon," Spades replied evenly as he sat down in his easy chair. "My friend makes it."
"You know," Mana began, "some say drinking alone makes you an alcoholic."
"They'd probably be right," Spades stated.
"I happened to believe that drinking this kind of rotgut makes you an alcoholic," Mana stated.
"You'd be right on either count," Spades stated.
"Well, if you're drinking with a friend and drinking something better, you wouldn't be an alcoholic, would you?" Mana asked as she produced a bottle.
"Nothing really has too much of a kick compared to this," Spades stated as he raised his bottle.
"This is Jack Daniels Single Barrel," Mana stated. "It's ninety-four proof. It'll taste a lot better than that stuff and still does the same amount of damage to your liver." Spades considered this and climbed to his feet to retrieve a pair of glasses. He set them of the floor, lacking any real furniture other than his chair. He took the bottle and sat as well, pouring a glass for himself and half a glass for Mana. "I'm not a little girl," Mana stated.
"So be it." Spades topped off her glass and gestured for her to sit. She did and picked up his glass.
"To your friend."
"To Billy," Spades agreed.
-End
(:ii:)
-Author's notes. There. Enough Misato for you? Nah, I'm kidding. Pretty much everyone knows that I'll do my thing no matter what everyone says.
And here's your amusing story for the week.
In my state we got a thing called Newark Nights. It's kind of a big block party where they close the main street and you have to dodge protesters of one kind or another. Didn't used to be like that, but it is now. Anyway, I'm hanging out at my old recruiting station and we've got a pull up bar out there. Once everyone realized we were there for fun and not to recruit, it was pretty fun.
So this old guy comes up and asked how many people we had over fifty do pull ups. I told him we had one, this old skinny Asian guy who did double digits. The guy gets up on the bar and I see a woman walk through the spectators out of the corner of my eye. I turn to look at her because I've got this paranoid feeling that I'm being ambushed. The woman busts out a sign that says and I quote 'The war is illegal!'
So, as the guy starts doing pull ups he starts spouting shit. It was pretty much, 'Bush is a criminal!' and 'The war is illegal!' and of course 'Support our troops!' He ends up doing twelve pulls and everyone is getting nervous. Something to do with him pulling that in front of the Marines at their recruiting station. Anyway, he does twelve pulls, we shake his hand, give him a water bottle and he walks away.
The End
What? You were expected us to beat him up? He did twelve fucking pull ups the right way! All you guys out there who do fifty pulls, do them right and watch that number shrink. Up to the chin and all the way down with your elbows locked out.