When school was over and we were back home, I took a nap. I don't know why but I was really tired. I didn't asked for Jacob. I was sure he was back already. I was dreaming of winter. I loved winter. I loved the snow, especially when the snow falls down onto my nose and tickles me.

I fell asleep around 4 pm and woke up at 9pm. I was thirsty, I wanted to go hunting. I went upstairs and asked my Dad "Where's Jacob?"

"He isn't here, did you forget?" he asked.

He isn't back already? I thought.

"No he isn't" Dad answered my thoughts.

"I thought you were looking for him?"

"Yes, we were, but we didn't find him. You know, Alice can't see his future." he said.

I still didn't worry about him, but Jacob did never something like that.

I thought about it, until I noticed Dad was starring at me.

"Huh?" I looked at him confused.

"He is your best friend." he said.

Actually Dad is always saying things which make sense, but this time I didn't understand.

"I know." I just said.

"You don't understand?" he asked, but it sounded more like a fact.

"No."

"He is your best friend, he's gone and you don't know where he is." he said

"Um, yes." I said, still not understanding what he did mean.

"And you are not anxious about him?" he asked.

Oh, now I understood what he meant.

"No.., I mean I am, I think." I didn't know what I should say, because I wasn't, but if I would say it out loud it would sound like I don't care about him.

"Even in your mind, sounds it like you don't care about him." he said.

"You don't understand. I care about him, I truly do, but I'm totally sure that he's okay. I know it won't happen something bad to him." I told him.

"You never know." he said.

"Jacob is strong, trust me." I said.

"I know that he's strong, but you and me and your mother and other people, too. Do you think something bad could happen to you?" he asked.

"Yes." I said. I knew what he meant, but I still wasn't anxious about him.

"Think about it." Dad said.

I went upstairs back to my room. I sat down onto my bed and thought about the words Dad had said. I care about him, or? He is my best friend and if something bad would happen to him then I would be sad, or? Would I?

I asked myself all these questions, almost the whole night.

When I woke up, I quickly ran into Jacobs room, but he wasn't there and I still wasn't worried. I told myself a dozen of times that he's gone, but it didn't work. After a week, Jacob still didn't come back and it was driving me crazy, because I didn't care. Mum was totally anxious about him and I couldn't understand her. I always told her that he's okay, but she still worried. It was hard for mum, especially for her, to think about other things. I lived like nothing had happen and the bad thing was, it was easier in school and at home, without him. I could talk to people who never were brave enough to talk to me, because a huge Jacob was always standing next to me. It's not like I had no friends when Jacob was there, but I had just girls as friends, never boys, because they thought Jacob was my boyfriend and he would be jealous. I always told them that we were just friends, but of course they didn't believe me. Everytime when I had fun with some friends, I started to think about Jacob and then I felt bad, because I knew I should miss him, but I didn't. Everytime when I was mad at Jacob, because the imprint and love thing, I thought about, like it would be when he would be gone and then I ran to him and apologized, because I knew, if he would be gone then I would miss him and I would be sad and all the stuff, but I never could think of having fun without him and living a life without him, but now I could, even though he was gone just one month. I felt bad for thinking something like that, but I did and I couldn't stop it. Now without him I noticed that almost everyone in my school thought I would be arrogant and I would just care about myself and no one else, because I had never really the chance to talk to someone, but now I had and I did. After one week everyone knew that I was different. It felt good to have new friends, but it was getting difficult when I noticed, that some of the boys didn't want just friendship. Some of them asked me out, but I wasn't sure what to say. I just said I think about it, everytime when someone asked. After a few days they came back and asked me if I thought about it and I told everyone the same.

"I'm sorry, but I think I shouldn't"

Someday I thought about my answer. Why did I always say something like that. Why shouldn't I go out with them, it's not like I have a boyfriend.

In the evening when I was sitting in my room, Dad came in and talked to me about my thoughts.

"Perhaps you said that, because of Jacob." he said.

I looked at him and I knew he was right. "I think the same Dad. I think it's a bad conscience, because he loves me and I just go out with other boys." I said.

"No, that wasn't what I meant." he began "I mean, perhaps, you can't go out with them, 'cause you-"

"No." I cut him off. "It's not that. I would feel different, if it would be this."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

I looked at him very serious and I also sounded very serious "Dad, I feel a bit bad for for thinking it, but I enjoy the time without Jacob. Yes, I don't know where he is and I don't know if something bad had happen to him, but I.. I care, I do, but I don't know. It feels like eveything is easier without him. I feel like I could finally live my life." I told him and smiled slightly. I quickly looked serious again, I hated me for every happy thought I had, when Jacob wasn't here.

"You are serious?" he asked.

"Unfortunately yes." I answered.

He looked at me a last time and went out of my room. If views could kill then I would be dead, now.

Every other person, who liked Jacob, would hate me for the words I said and the thoughts I thought, but not Dad. The love of my Dad is unbreakable. The love of my whole family seemed to be unbreakable. I knew they loved me and they would accept what I was thinking, but anyway I could never tell my mum, what I was thinking at the moment. She loved Jacob as a brother and she loved me. She knew how strong the love of Jacob was and if anyone could kill him mentally, then it would be me. I could do it with only three words, I, hate, you.

A very, very short Chapter, but I wanted to write a new one, because it was time for it. I am very busy today because my brother turned 18 and I am said, because my cat died and I am mad at someone so it's a confusing day. I will continue writing this story, but it's not that easy to write two stories. Well, please review :D