Thanks for follows etc, much appreciated, as always. :) I hope this chapter isn't too confusing, it isn't to me, but my head's a complicated library so...
As always, no beta so all mistakes my own and I sadly don't own the characters or anything.
Thor could not help but think of everything that had been said, by him, by Loki, by Odin, the range of emotions was enough to cause his heart to hurt and his head to pulsate. Before he knew how long he had been sat in silence, a knock at his chamber door brought him out of his thoughts. A young servant handed him a vial of light orange liquid, telling him that only a few drops were needed in order to complete the task at hand. No-one other than Thor, Frigga, Odin and a few very highly positioned guards and healers knew of the plan, mainly because they did not want Loki to hear word of it, or rumours to be spread around the realm. When Thor first thought of administering the liquid, he worried about how he would do so, Loki rarely ate, so drugging his meals was out of the question, he also only had a fresh jug of water in the morning, so he could not bring him drugged water, as giving it straight to him was...well far too obvious. Now he had learnt of the small dosage needed however, he quickly figured out that Loki only had to eat a few apple slices, or a small bread bun, to get it into his system.
"Did they say how quickly it would work?" He had asked the servant.
"I was told that as soon as the recipient had it in their system, the drugs would be affective within the hour." It was clear she had no idea who was getting the medicine, but it was obvious to many within Asgard that it was some form of sleeping draught, as many had received some at somepoint in their lives.
"Thank you, here, take some silver for yourself, and a little for the healers who worked on this." He nodded to the vial then handed her a small handful of coins, she curtseyed and left.
He would wait a short while before taking it down to Loki, he only hoped it would do as he planned, or Odin would dismiss Loki like the scraps of food left after a hearty banquet- nothing more than waste for dogs and rats to feast on.
XX
"What do you want?" Loki's words still somehow managed to drip venom even though it was obvious how low he felt. Even Thor could see the way he slumped, how his face was growing whiter, yet more grey, everyday, and how he no longer had any sparkle left in his eyes. It was like talking to the ghost of his brother, the way he had in dreams after Loki's fall from the Bifrost, nothing more than a delapidated shell of the man he once was.
"I came to see how you were. You really worried Mother earlier." He had learnt to shrug off Loki's vicious words, they no longer got to him, mainly because the more he spoke, the more pain he could hear in his words.
There was no response. Thor liked to think that Loki still held something towards their mother, and so did not wish to speak against her; they always had had a special bond.
"So how are you feeling? Up for a bit of bread, or a slice of apple?" Thor had decided to prepare both a bread bun and an apple with the draught, not knowing which Loki would go for.
"I am not hungry."
"Now please do not do this Loki. You have not eaten for days, you are wasting away..."
"THEN LET ME WASTE AWAY!" The outburst came so fast and out of nowhere that Thor visibly stepped back a little. A guard appeared with spear in hand but Thor waved him off, making sure he knew there was no present danger.
"You do not mean that."
"No, you are right, I am lying again." His voice reminded Thor so much of the wit that came with his friend Man of Iron.
"Loki..."
"What? You hate when I lie yet you seem to also run from the truth. Which do you want? Because I would like to know so I do not upset you further." The sarcasm in his voice actually brought a smile to Thor's face, it had been a long time since he had heard anything remotely resembling Loki's old self.
"The truth."
"I have nothing left. There is nothing left for me. No trust, no loyalty, no friendship- not that there ever was any- nothing. I can never return to the way things were before. And when I run, there are others who know my value or potential, they find me and use it in any way they see how. So I am left here, locked up, until someone may have use of me, or until the AllFather realises his mistake and finally sends me back to my true home. Do you see? My only relief would be death and you won't even allow me that."
"No Loki." Thor's voice was merely a whisper, full of hurt.
"You asked for the truth, oh brother of mine." And just like that, the honest and open Loki was gone again, and the creature that stood before him now was nothing more than the vile, twisted animal that attacked Midgard, with no care, even for his own life. Thor's time on Midgard had not taught him much, although he had heard Tony speaking of Bruce's bipolar/schizophrenic like tendancies. Natasha had told him off for joking about serious mental health issues, but it was Tony Stark, he wasn't completely sympathetic when a good joke was on the agenda. When Thor had asked of the named issues, he had been told that they were problems where a person could go from one personality to another in the snap of the finger, or even change into a completely different person alltogether- metaphorically of course. Now Thor knew Loki was above such mental issues- a God did not suffer like Midgardians- but the same symptoms seemed to be plaguing the man. It was the only logical explanation of his sudden change in state.
"Please eat." He pushed the plate in front of the man he no longer knew how he felt towards. There was still loyalty and love towards him, the need to protect him, yet he could feel it slipping with every breath. Now there was also hatred towards him, a small part of him could not help but see him as the monstrous Jotun offspring who poisoned their dear realm, who had tried to kill those he loved, and who he had witnessed turn into a monster so full of rage. "If you would like something else bringing instead, I can see to have it arranged."
"Monsters should not get the courtesy you are giving me."
"You are not a monster." Yes he is. That voice in the back of his head was slowly pushing itself into the forefront of his mind, and that was really not what he wanted to happen, because then he knew he would no longer sympathise with the devil. "Friend Banner told me he also used to think the same about himself, he still does. But that monster helped save thousands, if not millions, of lives, including mine. He is one of the truest and most trustworthy men I have ever had the pleasure to know, and completely changed my perspective of mortals. What is inside you does not make you who you are, you do that on your own. And if you are willing to fight your demons, then you can be the person you want to be...when you are too scared to fight it, when you run and hide, that is when you fall and become the monster, because that is when you no longer care."
Loki seemed moved by the words, he sat in stunned silence with a slight wobble of the bottom lip and one hint of tears in his eyes. He seemed to think it through before the true emotions broke through and burst forth. "How sweet, poor little Thor, trying to become a King, trying to be a protective brother. It's too late, you cannot have the Loki you once knew back, he has gone, he is mine."
"And who are you?" Thor was shocked at the sudden information, but did not allow it to show on his face, that would casue 'Loki' to close up.
"The new God of Michief." That smile was back.
He knew it sounded ridiculous but he repeated the question, and would until he got a response he was happy with, "Who are you?"
"Oh come now boy, do not be so stupid. This is me."
"I have spoken to many forms of Loki in this cell, ones where he resembled the same brother I once knew, where he seemed to be coming through, wanting my help. And then there is you, this monster I fought on Midgard."
Loki sucked in a breath, screwing up his face, "oooh, Thor, I would chose your words carefully, I don't take well to being called a monster."
"What have you done to my brother!" His voice deepened and he stepped forward, if Mjolnir had been in his hand, it would have been raised high, threatening this supposed traitor.
"I improved him, eheheheheheh." The laugh made Thor grit his teeth, it was a tortured laugh of the one he used to love. But all of a sudden, the person in front of him changed, yet again. The smile faded, the laugh stopped, and pain became etched on his face.
"Thor...make it stop." He bent forward and pulled at his hair with both hands. "Make it stop, make it stop, make it STOP!"
Thor ran forward, holding onto his once brother. "Please, tell me...what is going on inside you, who is doing this?"
"Make it go away." The Loki of aged 10 years was back, the one Thor remembered comforting on many occasions.
"I will, but I need to know how."
Silence, except for an occasional muffled sniff from Loki. Thor did not know what to do, he just sat there, fighting back the desire to hug the black haired man once again. Eventually, a rumble came from Loki's stomach which told Thor he secretly was hungry. "Eat."
"I cannot stomach anything."
"Not even your favourite apple?"
"No."
"How about another fruit, one that is more water or something?"
"Possibly..." Loki was shaking, the kind of shake that occurs when the body is low on food and sugar, yet another sign he was trying to fight back.
"Melon. I shall get you melon." Without even waiting for a reply, he ran off. The kitchen was a long run, but his determination made it seem like a small jog. He quickly found a fresh slice of watermelon and diced it into small pieces, knowing Loki probably wouldn't be able to chew large amounts. Before returning to the cell, he ran to his chamber to retrieve the medicine- he thought it best not to take it down to the cell in case Loki saw it. When a few drops were added to the food, he raced back to the dungeons to find his brother sat staring off into nothing.
"I am back." For Thor, he spoke softly, not wanting to frighten the young man.
"Where did you go?" Loki's confusion puzzled Thor; did he not remember?
"We decided you could eat some melon, so I went to get it."
"I am not hungry."
"Loki!"
No response came.
"Just eat. That is an order." He decided to try a different attempt.
"Or what!? Will you throw me in jail for not following orders? Oh...wait..." He gestured to his cell as if to emphasize his point. Oh, so they were back to that. The sarcasm was also back.
"Eat it!"
Whether it was him giving up, or another side of him coming through, but Loki took the melon from Thor and slowly began to put small pieces into his mouth, chewing nervously, as if waiting for the mouthful to come back up. After around 5 small squares, he pushed the plate away, and Thor couldn't help but notice the sheen of sweat that now covered his face from the exertion of forcing food down.
"Thank you, now would you please leave, I am feeling a little ill and would prefer some peace."
"Thank you, for at least trying. I hope you feel well again...brother." Thor decided to leave all the food he had brought, just in case Loki decided to eat more, and it wouldn't harm him to have a little more of the medication in his system. Smiling towards the figure now hunched on the bed, he turned and left, hoping beyond anything that the next time he saw the man, he would be at peace, or at least a little more than he currently was.
I know characters are often OOC in this, and I myself don't like it, but it just happened, so sorry. :/