Yo! Thanks for your reviews! I have heard you just been having issues with
my parents where they like that I like to write but I can't do it in the
house! Go figure!!!
And just to prove to ya'll I'm an S/V Shipper the new name is .Total Vaughn Lover and that basically means I want Vaughn to be happy cause I love him so much and if it cant be with me then of course it has to be with Syd!!!!!!!
Any who! Finally, I've gotten a new episode for ya!
When She Was Bad Total Vaughn Lover
Reuniting with An Old Friend
Sydney woke up with a start, and this time things looked familiar. She was lying on the same bed, only hostile Vaughn wasn't there and to her dismay, neither was Will, the only friend she had left in the world.
She pulled herself up and put a palm to her sweat-drenched forehead and concluded that it was because of the impact of the nightmare, not an illness.
She found a bag set at the foot of her bed and reached for it. Inside she found a few belongings that could have easily belonged to her.
She reached for her walled, a girly one with a rabbit holding a huge pocket watch embroderied on it, to prove her obsession with "Alice in the Wonderland." She place two of her fingers onto the fuzziness and was soothed.
She would find out what happened with Michael, but it would have to stay on the back burner for now. First she would have to get better and being able to touch things that had once had value for her seemed to be working very well.
She gingerly pulled it open, as though afraid that in two years, the leather could have worn so much that it would crumble in her hands.
But what crumbled wasn't the leather, it was her.
She found the wallet contained not money but pictures. Pictures of when things were all right.
The first one was of when she'd played in a hockey game with Vaughn, and then another picture was of her and Vaughn, in casual clothes, his arms around her, their cheeks nuzzled against each other.
She let out a hard cough, from trying to keep her tears back as the memory attached to the photograph crystallized in her mind.
She'd always been the immature one and her handler Vaughn had first disapproved of her and had made it his business to mold the college girl who worked for a government job as a part time to become a class A double agent for the CIA.
But things had flipped once they'd become open with their feelings and kissed for the first time on what remained after they'd taken down SD- 6. She'd had to force him out of bed and go to work, she'd had to fight him from putting his arms around her during work, or give her an impulsive kiss the moment she returned to the Joint Task Force and his bruteness was worse the more dangerous the mission had been.
They'd almost been conjoined.
Now he couldn't wait to get away from her and when he was around, he only provided crude comments, nasty looks and holds of restraints when he didn't order his staf to do it.
She flipped through a few more couple photos and then came to one that made her pain even worse.
It was a photo of Weiss and Vaughn. Eric with his cheery expression , his arm around Vaughn's neck in a headlock, giving him a noogie.
And Vaughn wore an expression complimentary of the pain from the headlock and the grinding of his best friend's knuckles into his head.
But despite that, they were happy, indeniably happy.
And it hit her hard when she remembered what Vaughn had said.
She'd shot Weiss, Vaughn, Vaughn's wife and Will, yet Weiss hadn't made it up and bounced back like the other two.
She'd put her best agent friend in a coma.
And she couldn't blame Vaughn for holding her responsible. After he'd witnessed her murder his wife in cold blood.
"Agent Bristow, are you awake?"
"Y~yeah," Sydney replied.
"Have you received your dinner yet?" the nurse inquired and Sydney began mumbling, "no, I don't think so," when her eyes fell on the tray of food sitting on her bedside table.
"I guess I was asleep when they brought it in," she shrugged just as a bout of nausea overswept her and forced her down against the pillow.
"That's all right," she told her sweetly as she laid a hand against her forehead. "Would you like me to bring some more in?"
Sydney stared dumbfounded at the nurse, flattered and shocked at the same time by her unexpected kindness. No one had treated her like a normal being since they'd heard about what a monster she had become. She assumed this wasn't going to be her regular nurse and therefore wasn't informed of her so-called behavior during her missing years. She was a bit saddened by that. She wanted despereately to believe that at least one person who heard her story would give her the benefit of the doubt and wait for memories to resurface. I mean, she was agreeing to the surgery, how could they even think she was going against them.
She glanced at the food and gagged. Her thoughts made her stomach turn. She lied back down, trying to quell her sick stomach. "No, I don't think I'll be able to hold anything down."
"Okay," the nurse nodded then she went out the room. When she returned she was dragging an I.V stand with her. "We'll put this in you to keep you hydrated. It'll help with the nausea," she crooned, then went out plugging the needed into the plug already attached to Sydney's body.
She watched the medicine start dripping and in a matter of moment she found herself feeling better.
"Well the glow is certainly returning to your skin. I think you'll be fine. And this is normal, it's probably because the way everything has changed in what feels like a day. You've obviously had the wind knocked out of you and it's going to take a few days to be yourself again. Plus your memory gap is driving you out of your mind."
Sydney winced. She hadn't expected the nurse to know all that, and she certainly hadn't expected her to be so blunt yet understanding. 'Yeah, you're right about that."
"Just take it easy, Agent Bristow, everything will slowly start to make sense," she cooed, and Sydney really had to fight herself not to brush away the nurse's gentle touch or scream that missing five years of her life was something she was never going to understand. But then she was proud of herself that she had controlled herself because that made asking her next question a lot easier.
"Um~~~Nurse?"
She paused in her tracks and turned her head. "Yes, Sydney?"
"H~How long have you been here?"
"At the Naval Hospital? A good five years. I think, why do you ask?" she asked with a smile.
"Can you do me a favor/" she asked the nurse, trying to sound like it was natural of Sydney Bristow to ask things of people she'd just met.
"Um~~~sure. I'll do my best."
Sydney took a deep breath then explained the nightmare she'd just had to the nurse without doing it in one breath.
The nurse studied her mildly with apologetic eyes. "I'm sorry to hear that. You must have been pretty shaken up. I know how hostile Agent Vaughn has been to you. He's usually such a nice man, I remember him coming in for the virus he contracted about five years ago. And now he's a changed man."
"Thank you. And what I would like you to do for me is find out if the dream was real. I think it's a flashback and that could be a key to unlocking my other memories. I need to know if I had a baby with Vaughn," she begged in an exasperated voice.
The nurse stared hard at her patient and Sydney was sure she could feel her pain. But then she bit her lip and Sydney was overcome with a feeling of dread. "I cannot believe this Sydney," she lamented, her expression becoming hard. "The first thing you ask me to help you with and I can't do it."
"W~what do you mean?"
"I~I am not allowed to give you any information this hospital has during the time of our disappearance. And besides, the CIA has taken custody of your records. There probably isn't a shred of information on you out there that hasn't been either protected or dissected," she informed her, but her tone suggested she didn't believe this treatment was fair.
"U~under who's orders?" Sydney stammered, her voice trembling. She was 100% sure she already knew the answer to that question.
"It was not in effect till Vaughn became the Director the Joint Task Force two Mays ago.
"In 2005," Sydney stated and the nurse nodded her head.
"I would help you out, you know I would," the nurse protested and grabbed Sydney's hand. "I've see how cerebretolosis works and I know they're threatening you with it. I don't want that to happen to you."
Sydney was awashed with warmth. She squeezed the nurses's hand and forced a smile onto her otherwise gaunt expression. "I know you would and I really appreciate it, but I wouldn't put you in that position, I don't know what Mich~~~ I mean Director Vaughn would do if he found out. His wrath is because of me. I don't' want you going through what I'm going through."
She smiled at Sydney's effort to placate her feelings when it was she who should be doing it for her. "Ms. Bristow, I've heard the terrible things the CIA thinks you have done, but anybody who sits down with you and gets to know you can't possibly believe these stories. Agent Vaughn is going to really kick himself when he realizes that you have done nothing and he destroyed your life for nothing."
"I don't' think so," she cut in, looking very uncomfortable. She stared down at her hands that were shaking as though she'd gone to play in the snow without gloves~~~for hours. "Michael is over me. He proposed to me but I said no. so then he moved on and gave himself to somebody else. He's not about to give me any sympathy, not when he's so sure I heedlessly threw away his heart."
"But you didn't, did you?" the nurse inquired cautiously, after waiting a beat, as though she wasn't sure of Sydney's innocence and afraid of what her answer would be.
"N~No, I mean, I'm still hurt by him and I can't believe I would have ever done that. If I could change it now, I would," Sydney added quietly.
And all sound died in the room.
The nurse stretched a tissue towards her and Sydney took it and dabbed her eyes with it.
"Sorry, I~~~I don't understand any of this. It hurts. Instead of getting compassion from my old friend I'm taken in custody by my boyfriend, and I find out I have no friend," she huffed, trying to control herself.
"Don't' talk like that, Sydney," she scolded her soothingly. "Things are, excuse my unprofessionalim, "wacked." You are undoubtedly the victim of this whole mess but so are your friends. They thought you were dead. I know you don't like to hear this but it's going to take time for everybody to return to normal again."
Sydney was so happy that she could feel her tears burning behind her eyes. She had to fight herself not to hug the gentle nurse and bawl into her shoulder. Miraculously, she restrained herself to just saying, "I know you're right."
The nurse watched her for another moment, wondering if it was safe for her to leave.
Fortunately all of Sydney's smiles looked genuine.
"Well enough of this tonight. You should get some rest," she told her as she gently tucked her patient back in her covers.
"I'm not sure I want to do that," she griped, looking straight up at the ceiling. "Knowing my luck, I'll have another nightmare."
The nurse gave her an understanding expression. "It's probably your mind seeing flashbacks with some things that feel almost tangible. I'm sure you'll be able to see some kind of psychiatrist for dream therapy. But until then, would you like me to go get you something to help you sleep?"
"I don't think that will help," Sydney groaned, keeping her gaze low. But then she raised her head and looked up at her with hopeful eyes. "But there is one other thing you can do for me."
The nurse paused in her tracks and flipped around to study Sydney who was looking at her as though she was her last hope.
She didn't feel she could deny her anything else.
"I'll see what I can do."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm good from here," Sydney told the nurse who was pushing her in a wheelchair. They'd reached the entrance the Intensive Care Unit.
"Are you sure?" she asked worriedly, daring her head in all direction as though she were expecting to find someone lurking about at 1:00 in the morning.
"Yeah, I mean, you can stay if you have to. Will you get in trouble if you leave me here by myself?" she inquired, trying not to sound like she was trying to get her in trouble.
"Oh, that's not the problem, it's just~~~well, do you know what to expect? Has anybody briefed you on what happened?"
"Vaughn put that in the meanest words possible, though I suppose I can't say mcuh, considering I'm the one who~~~shot him," she put in coldly, trying to her voice from wavering. If the nurse thought she wasn't emotionally coherent, she might make her go back to bed. "I heard that the doctors got the bullet out but that he never woke up from the surgery."
"Exactly," she agreed then bit her lip. "I guess I can't stop you. You sure you want to do this?"
Sydney nodded her head before she had a chance to hesitate.
"Okay," the nurse sighed with reluctance and opened the door and wheeled her in. she went to grab a chart that hanging on the nearest door, checked the monitors that pertained to door 2 then jotted down on the clipboard. "There's a window right there, just pull the curtain back."
Sydney did as she was told, not looking into the window until she'd pulled it as far as it would go. But when she did, she wished she didn't.
"Oh my god," she gasped, her hand flew to her mouth, her chest hurt from the effort of suppressing her scream. Tears instantly sprang to her eyes when she laid her eyes on Weiss.
He was lying down, confined to his bed. A tube was shoved down his throat and other wires and tubes were attached to other aspects of his body. His eyes were closed and there was a bruise on his eye and jawline that hadn't healed yet. And the rest of him was pale. The funny man was gone from him now, his chest moving up and down was the only way to tell Eric Weiss was still alive.
"He's been in a coma for two years," she informed Sydney as she raised herself out of the seat and pressed her palms against the glass. "His brain is still functioning correctly which is a miracle, but a miracle is going to hold out for only so long."
"So the longer he stays this way, the more likely it is that he'll never wake up," Sydney cut in, not taking her eyes off her friend.
"I'm afraid that's true."
Sydney laid her forehead against the glass and took a few deep breaths, trying to prevent the hyperventilation she felt coming on.
"Sydney, would you like to return to your room?" the nurse asked quietly, taking hold of the handles of the wheelchair, positioning it so she could take a seat.
Sydney stayed quiet for another second, trying to gather her thoughts but her head hurt, but not as nearly as her heart. She knew this was what she'd expected to see but seeing it first hand was not something she'd been as emotionally prepared for as she thought she was.
"Ms. Bristow?"
"No," she shot out, more harshly than she'd intended. She didn't want to go back, not just yet, she still has unfinished business and she was going to go through with it, no matter how much pain it caused her. "I want to go inside."
"What!" she asked alarmed. "Sydney, you sure you want to do that? Haven't you seen enough? Why in the world would you want to go in there?" she hissed.
"I shot that man and I put him in that bed. I have no right to be scared of him. Besides, there's something I have to say~~~while he's still alive," Sydney informed her, a look on her face that she was on mission.
"Agent Bristow, Agent Weiss is in isolation for a reason. His body is out of his control. We don't even know if his immune system is working, and your going in there can introduce foreign bacteria that could kill him and he's been giving off something in that room, and you might contract something deadly from the air. I'm not going to take that chance, not on my watch," she commanded angrily. And for a moment Sydney thought the nurse was going to try and wrestle her into her chair.
"Nurse, I need to talk to him okay? I don't' know what good it's going to do but I'm not going to know until I give it a try~~~he's my friend, the best friend of the man I love. I just need five minutes. Please, I'll take all the precautionary measures to protect myself from him and protect him from my varmints. I promise, just~~~please, let me see him."
Sydney was begging now and the nurse couldn't say no.
"There's a gown in the closet, grab that, a mask, and some gloves and take this," she added, and handed the clipboard to her. "I don't know if that's going to do anything just uh~~~read through it. It might trigger a memory. Just don't' tell anyone. I don't care if I get in trouble, the CIA won't come after me, but they already have a yearing to torture you, and things are bad enough between you and Agent Vaughn. I'm not here to make things worse."
"I don't' care if I get in trouble. I need to be alone with Weiss and this might be my only chance," she shrugged as she pulled the uniform on. She then headed to the door.
"I've got rounds, I'll be back in fifteen minutes. I expect youll be done by then. It'll give me time to get you settled back into bed and back to what I'm supposed to be doing by the time the night shift comes in," she hinted.
"Thanks," she murmured before she went through the door and the nurse nodded, changed the sign to "attending," before she left the room to do her nightly visits.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hey Weiss. I don't know if you can hear me but I just had to come see you," she greeted as she inched toward his bed. "I'm just going to take this seat here, okay? Don't be made, I'm not here to shoot you again."
"Now I know why Vaughn was so mad. Look at what I did to you! I presume I would have done the same thing if someone had killed Vaughn before my eyes."
"I don't know what I was thinking when I did this to you and you're probably going to think I'm cold and uncaring when I say this but I don't remember this! I don't' remember anything! I don't know how to apologize to you because I'm not sure what to say, especially since I don't know why I did it.'
"No, don't' think that! I do feel for you! It couldn't' have been me. I would never have done this. You know how life was. My father was not only an old friend of Sloane's, an agent of SD-6, but the reason why my life is such a nightmare. And then my mother was one of the biggest terrorists of all. I was surprised she hadn't lied about being biologically related to me."
"And it wasn't until I met you, Vaughn, Carried, Marshall and heaven forbid, Kendall, that I had a smidgen of hope that things would be okay again."
"Yeah, you do know how much I loved Vaughn, with his handsome face, lopsided grin, his brilliant light eyes, his absolutely kissable lips. And then there was his sweetness, his instinct to protect, his gift of comforting and his ability to give me a love that I didn't think I could find on this earth~~~"
"No, don't be sorry, Weiss. I'm okay, I really am. It's just going to take a little getting used to. After all, Vaughn was my right hand, my partner~~~my soulmate."
"So why did it change, Eric? Why am I here, forced to accept things I have no recollection of ever-happening? Vaughn told me he proposed to me and that I rejected him, but that can't be true~~~you know how in love with him I was."
"Okay, forget it. I'll save that story for when you're awake and you can give mea actual feedback. Just tell me that you're still my friend. I need to know. You would be one of the precious few I still have left, well two to be exact. The only other one I know of is Will. Yeah~~~right. The other guy I shot at. And my parents don't' count, though I'd like to see them, they wouldn't be much of a friend to anyone, unless you had something they wanted, then they'll be perfect angels until they pull the biggest betrayal of all. Hmm~~~maybe Marshall would be number three, since I did nothing to him, assuming he's still at the Agency."
"You want to know why I'm so bitter?! It's because everybody is accusing me of doing things that I don't' know about and then they accuse me of lying to them when I'm really telling them the truth!"
"I'm sorry, I just don't' know what to do. It's hard to believe you're alive under all that. But I'm so thankful you are. Though I know I say I don't know what I did, in no way excuses what I've done to you~~~to all of you."
"And I'm sorry. Next time we meet, I hope I'll be able to figure out everything , all that I've forgotten about the last five years."
"Then maybe we can all find some peace."
"You deserve it." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So what did ya think? Yeah, that was Syd talking to a incapacitated Weiss. And of course since he can't talk, it was a one-sided conversation! You will not believe what is going to happen next..Will is still trying to save Syd's life while Vaughn~~~well, he's going to do something like never before!!!
And you thought the Asian Dentist was bad!!!!!
Oh another note, I'll be updating "The Other Side of the Story," "For better or worse till the NSC do us part (which is going to go into it's first episode of S/V! YAY Maybe I'll get more reviews that way!) and for your Vartan fans, I will update my fic "Never Been Pregnant," good o'l Sam being not only a husband but soon-to-be father, with its' own little twist!!!
So look for those, normal disclaimers apply and please continue to review!!!!!!!
Total Vaughn Lover
And just to prove to ya'll I'm an S/V Shipper the new name is .Total Vaughn Lover and that basically means I want Vaughn to be happy cause I love him so much and if it cant be with me then of course it has to be with Syd!!!!!!!
Any who! Finally, I've gotten a new episode for ya!
When She Was Bad Total Vaughn Lover
Reuniting with An Old Friend
Sydney woke up with a start, and this time things looked familiar. She was lying on the same bed, only hostile Vaughn wasn't there and to her dismay, neither was Will, the only friend she had left in the world.
She pulled herself up and put a palm to her sweat-drenched forehead and concluded that it was because of the impact of the nightmare, not an illness.
She found a bag set at the foot of her bed and reached for it. Inside she found a few belongings that could have easily belonged to her.
She reached for her walled, a girly one with a rabbit holding a huge pocket watch embroderied on it, to prove her obsession with "Alice in the Wonderland." She place two of her fingers onto the fuzziness and was soothed.
She would find out what happened with Michael, but it would have to stay on the back burner for now. First she would have to get better and being able to touch things that had once had value for her seemed to be working very well.
She gingerly pulled it open, as though afraid that in two years, the leather could have worn so much that it would crumble in her hands.
But what crumbled wasn't the leather, it was her.
She found the wallet contained not money but pictures. Pictures of when things were all right.
The first one was of when she'd played in a hockey game with Vaughn, and then another picture was of her and Vaughn, in casual clothes, his arms around her, their cheeks nuzzled against each other.
She let out a hard cough, from trying to keep her tears back as the memory attached to the photograph crystallized in her mind.
She'd always been the immature one and her handler Vaughn had first disapproved of her and had made it his business to mold the college girl who worked for a government job as a part time to become a class A double agent for the CIA.
But things had flipped once they'd become open with their feelings and kissed for the first time on what remained after they'd taken down SD- 6. She'd had to force him out of bed and go to work, she'd had to fight him from putting his arms around her during work, or give her an impulsive kiss the moment she returned to the Joint Task Force and his bruteness was worse the more dangerous the mission had been.
They'd almost been conjoined.
Now he couldn't wait to get away from her and when he was around, he only provided crude comments, nasty looks and holds of restraints when he didn't order his staf to do it.
She flipped through a few more couple photos and then came to one that made her pain even worse.
It was a photo of Weiss and Vaughn. Eric with his cheery expression , his arm around Vaughn's neck in a headlock, giving him a noogie.
And Vaughn wore an expression complimentary of the pain from the headlock and the grinding of his best friend's knuckles into his head.
But despite that, they were happy, indeniably happy.
And it hit her hard when she remembered what Vaughn had said.
She'd shot Weiss, Vaughn, Vaughn's wife and Will, yet Weiss hadn't made it up and bounced back like the other two.
She'd put her best agent friend in a coma.
And she couldn't blame Vaughn for holding her responsible. After he'd witnessed her murder his wife in cold blood.
"Agent Bristow, are you awake?"
"Y~yeah," Sydney replied.
"Have you received your dinner yet?" the nurse inquired and Sydney began mumbling, "no, I don't think so," when her eyes fell on the tray of food sitting on her bedside table.
"I guess I was asleep when they brought it in," she shrugged just as a bout of nausea overswept her and forced her down against the pillow.
"That's all right," she told her sweetly as she laid a hand against her forehead. "Would you like me to bring some more in?"
Sydney stared dumbfounded at the nurse, flattered and shocked at the same time by her unexpected kindness. No one had treated her like a normal being since they'd heard about what a monster she had become. She assumed this wasn't going to be her regular nurse and therefore wasn't informed of her so-called behavior during her missing years. She was a bit saddened by that. She wanted despereately to believe that at least one person who heard her story would give her the benefit of the doubt and wait for memories to resurface. I mean, she was agreeing to the surgery, how could they even think she was going against them.
She glanced at the food and gagged. Her thoughts made her stomach turn. She lied back down, trying to quell her sick stomach. "No, I don't think I'll be able to hold anything down."
"Okay," the nurse nodded then she went out the room. When she returned she was dragging an I.V stand with her. "We'll put this in you to keep you hydrated. It'll help with the nausea," she crooned, then went out plugging the needed into the plug already attached to Sydney's body.
She watched the medicine start dripping and in a matter of moment she found herself feeling better.
"Well the glow is certainly returning to your skin. I think you'll be fine. And this is normal, it's probably because the way everything has changed in what feels like a day. You've obviously had the wind knocked out of you and it's going to take a few days to be yourself again. Plus your memory gap is driving you out of your mind."
Sydney winced. She hadn't expected the nurse to know all that, and she certainly hadn't expected her to be so blunt yet understanding. 'Yeah, you're right about that."
"Just take it easy, Agent Bristow, everything will slowly start to make sense," she cooed, and Sydney really had to fight herself not to brush away the nurse's gentle touch or scream that missing five years of her life was something she was never going to understand. But then she was proud of herself that she had controlled herself because that made asking her next question a lot easier.
"Um~~~Nurse?"
She paused in her tracks and turned her head. "Yes, Sydney?"
"H~How long have you been here?"
"At the Naval Hospital? A good five years. I think, why do you ask?" she asked with a smile.
"Can you do me a favor/" she asked the nurse, trying to sound like it was natural of Sydney Bristow to ask things of people she'd just met.
"Um~~~sure. I'll do my best."
Sydney took a deep breath then explained the nightmare she'd just had to the nurse without doing it in one breath.
The nurse studied her mildly with apologetic eyes. "I'm sorry to hear that. You must have been pretty shaken up. I know how hostile Agent Vaughn has been to you. He's usually such a nice man, I remember him coming in for the virus he contracted about five years ago. And now he's a changed man."
"Thank you. And what I would like you to do for me is find out if the dream was real. I think it's a flashback and that could be a key to unlocking my other memories. I need to know if I had a baby with Vaughn," she begged in an exasperated voice.
The nurse stared hard at her patient and Sydney was sure she could feel her pain. But then she bit her lip and Sydney was overcome with a feeling of dread. "I cannot believe this Sydney," she lamented, her expression becoming hard. "The first thing you ask me to help you with and I can't do it."
"W~what do you mean?"
"I~I am not allowed to give you any information this hospital has during the time of our disappearance. And besides, the CIA has taken custody of your records. There probably isn't a shred of information on you out there that hasn't been either protected or dissected," she informed her, but her tone suggested she didn't believe this treatment was fair.
"U~under who's orders?" Sydney stammered, her voice trembling. She was 100% sure she already knew the answer to that question.
"It was not in effect till Vaughn became the Director the Joint Task Force two Mays ago.
"In 2005," Sydney stated and the nurse nodded her head.
"I would help you out, you know I would," the nurse protested and grabbed Sydney's hand. "I've see how cerebretolosis works and I know they're threatening you with it. I don't want that to happen to you."
Sydney was awashed with warmth. She squeezed the nurses's hand and forced a smile onto her otherwise gaunt expression. "I know you would and I really appreciate it, but I wouldn't put you in that position, I don't know what Mich~~~ I mean Director Vaughn would do if he found out. His wrath is because of me. I don't' want you going through what I'm going through."
She smiled at Sydney's effort to placate her feelings when it was she who should be doing it for her. "Ms. Bristow, I've heard the terrible things the CIA thinks you have done, but anybody who sits down with you and gets to know you can't possibly believe these stories. Agent Vaughn is going to really kick himself when he realizes that you have done nothing and he destroyed your life for nothing."
"I don't' think so," she cut in, looking very uncomfortable. She stared down at her hands that were shaking as though she'd gone to play in the snow without gloves~~~for hours. "Michael is over me. He proposed to me but I said no. so then he moved on and gave himself to somebody else. He's not about to give me any sympathy, not when he's so sure I heedlessly threw away his heart."
"But you didn't, did you?" the nurse inquired cautiously, after waiting a beat, as though she wasn't sure of Sydney's innocence and afraid of what her answer would be.
"N~No, I mean, I'm still hurt by him and I can't believe I would have ever done that. If I could change it now, I would," Sydney added quietly.
And all sound died in the room.
The nurse stretched a tissue towards her and Sydney took it and dabbed her eyes with it.
"Sorry, I~~~I don't understand any of this. It hurts. Instead of getting compassion from my old friend I'm taken in custody by my boyfriend, and I find out I have no friend," she huffed, trying to control herself.
"Don't' talk like that, Sydney," she scolded her soothingly. "Things are, excuse my unprofessionalim, "wacked." You are undoubtedly the victim of this whole mess but so are your friends. They thought you were dead. I know you don't like to hear this but it's going to take time for everybody to return to normal again."
Sydney was so happy that she could feel her tears burning behind her eyes. She had to fight herself not to hug the gentle nurse and bawl into her shoulder. Miraculously, she restrained herself to just saying, "I know you're right."
The nurse watched her for another moment, wondering if it was safe for her to leave.
Fortunately all of Sydney's smiles looked genuine.
"Well enough of this tonight. You should get some rest," she told her as she gently tucked her patient back in her covers.
"I'm not sure I want to do that," she griped, looking straight up at the ceiling. "Knowing my luck, I'll have another nightmare."
The nurse gave her an understanding expression. "It's probably your mind seeing flashbacks with some things that feel almost tangible. I'm sure you'll be able to see some kind of psychiatrist for dream therapy. But until then, would you like me to go get you something to help you sleep?"
"I don't think that will help," Sydney groaned, keeping her gaze low. But then she raised her head and looked up at her with hopeful eyes. "But there is one other thing you can do for me."
The nurse paused in her tracks and flipped around to study Sydney who was looking at her as though she was her last hope.
She didn't feel she could deny her anything else.
"I'll see what I can do."
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"I'm good from here," Sydney told the nurse who was pushing her in a wheelchair. They'd reached the entrance the Intensive Care Unit.
"Are you sure?" she asked worriedly, daring her head in all direction as though she were expecting to find someone lurking about at 1:00 in the morning.
"Yeah, I mean, you can stay if you have to. Will you get in trouble if you leave me here by myself?" she inquired, trying not to sound like she was trying to get her in trouble.
"Oh, that's not the problem, it's just~~~well, do you know what to expect? Has anybody briefed you on what happened?"
"Vaughn put that in the meanest words possible, though I suppose I can't say mcuh, considering I'm the one who~~~shot him," she put in coldly, trying to her voice from wavering. If the nurse thought she wasn't emotionally coherent, she might make her go back to bed. "I heard that the doctors got the bullet out but that he never woke up from the surgery."
"Exactly," she agreed then bit her lip. "I guess I can't stop you. You sure you want to do this?"
Sydney nodded her head before she had a chance to hesitate.
"Okay," the nurse sighed with reluctance and opened the door and wheeled her in. she went to grab a chart that hanging on the nearest door, checked the monitors that pertained to door 2 then jotted down on the clipboard. "There's a window right there, just pull the curtain back."
Sydney did as she was told, not looking into the window until she'd pulled it as far as it would go. But when she did, she wished she didn't.
"Oh my god," she gasped, her hand flew to her mouth, her chest hurt from the effort of suppressing her scream. Tears instantly sprang to her eyes when she laid her eyes on Weiss.
He was lying down, confined to his bed. A tube was shoved down his throat and other wires and tubes were attached to other aspects of his body. His eyes were closed and there was a bruise on his eye and jawline that hadn't healed yet. And the rest of him was pale. The funny man was gone from him now, his chest moving up and down was the only way to tell Eric Weiss was still alive.
"He's been in a coma for two years," she informed Sydney as she raised herself out of the seat and pressed her palms against the glass. "His brain is still functioning correctly which is a miracle, but a miracle is going to hold out for only so long."
"So the longer he stays this way, the more likely it is that he'll never wake up," Sydney cut in, not taking her eyes off her friend.
"I'm afraid that's true."
Sydney laid her forehead against the glass and took a few deep breaths, trying to prevent the hyperventilation she felt coming on.
"Sydney, would you like to return to your room?" the nurse asked quietly, taking hold of the handles of the wheelchair, positioning it so she could take a seat.
Sydney stayed quiet for another second, trying to gather her thoughts but her head hurt, but not as nearly as her heart. She knew this was what she'd expected to see but seeing it first hand was not something she'd been as emotionally prepared for as she thought she was.
"Ms. Bristow?"
"No," she shot out, more harshly than she'd intended. She didn't want to go back, not just yet, she still has unfinished business and she was going to go through with it, no matter how much pain it caused her. "I want to go inside."
"What!" she asked alarmed. "Sydney, you sure you want to do that? Haven't you seen enough? Why in the world would you want to go in there?" she hissed.
"I shot that man and I put him in that bed. I have no right to be scared of him. Besides, there's something I have to say~~~while he's still alive," Sydney informed her, a look on her face that she was on mission.
"Agent Bristow, Agent Weiss is in isolation for a reason. His body is out of his control. We don't even know if his immune system is working, and your going in there can introduce foreign bacteria that could kill him and he's been giving off something in that room, and you might contract something deadly from the air. I'm not going to take that chance, not on my watch," she commanded angrily. And for a moment Sydney thought the nurse was going to try and wrestle her into her chair.
"Nurse, I need to talk to him okay? I don't' know what good it's going to do but I'm not going to know until I give it a try~~~he's my friend, the best friend of the man I love. I just need five minutes. Please, I'll take all the precautionary measures to protect myself from him and protect him from my varmints. I promise, just~~~please, let me see him."
Sydney was begging now and the nurse couldn't say no.
"There's a gown in the closet, grab that, a mask, and some gloves and take this," she added, and handed the clipboard to her. "I don't know if that's going to do anything just uh~~~read through it. It might trigger a memory. Just don't' tell anyone. I don't care if I get in trouble, the CIA won't come after me, but they already have a yearing to torture you, and things are bad enough between you and Agent Vaughn. I'm not here to make things worse."
"I don't' care if I get in trouble. I need to be alone with Weiss and this might be my only chance," she shrugged as she pulled the uniform on. She then headed to the door.
"I've got rounds, I'll be back in fifteen minutes. I expect youll be done by then. It'll give me time to get you settled back into bed and back to what I'm supposed to be doing by the time the night shift comes in," she hinted.
"Thanks," she murmured before she went through the door and the nurse nodded, changed the sign to "attending," before she left the room to do her nightly visits.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hey Weiss. I don't know if you can hear me but I just had to come see you," she greeted as she inched toward his bed. "I'm just going to take this seat here, okay? Don't be made, I'm not here to shoot you again."
"Now I know why Vaughn was so mad. Look at what I did to you! I presume I would have done the same thing if someone had killed Vaughn before my eyes."
"I don't know what I was thinking when I did this to you and you're probably going to think I'm cold and uncaring when I say this but I don't remember this! I don't' remember anything! I don't know how to apologize to you because I'm not sure what to say, especially since I don't know why I did it.'
"No, don't' think that! I do feel for you! It couldn't' have been me. I would never have done this. You know how life was. My father was not only an old friend of Sloane's, an agent of SD-6, but the reason why my life is such a nightmare. And then my mother was one of the biggest terrorists of all. I was surprised she hadn't lied about being biologically related to me."
"And it wasn't until I met you, Vaughn, Carried, Marshall and heaven forbid, Kendall, that I had a smidgen of hope that things would be okay again."
"Yeah, you do know how much I loved Vaughn, with his handsome face, lopsided grin, his brilliant light eyes, his absolutely kissable lips. And then there was his sweetness, his instinct to protect, his gift of comforting and his ability to give me a love that I didn't think I could find on this earth~~~"
"No, don't be sorry, Weiss. I'm okay, I really am. It's just going to take a little getting used to. After all, Vaughn was my right hand, my partner~~~my soulmate."
"So why did it change, Eric? Why am I here, forced to accept things I have no recollection of ever-happening? Vaughn told me he proposed to me and that I rejected him, but that can't be true~~~you know how in love with him I was."
"Okay, forget it. I'll save that story for when you're awake and you can give mea actual feedback. Just tell me that you're still my friend. I need to know. You would be one of the precious few I still have left, well two to be exact. The only other one I know of is Will. Yeah~~~right. The other guy I shot at. And my parents don't' count, though I'd like to see them, they wouldn't be much of a friend to anyone, unless you had something they wanted, then they'll be perfect angels until they pull the biggest betrayal of all. Hmm~~~maybe Marshall would be number three, since I did nothing to him, assuming he's still at the Agency."
"You want to know why I'm so bitter?! It's because everybody is accusing me of doing things that I don't' know about and then they accuse me of lying to them when I'm really telling them the truth!"
"I'm sorry, I just don't' know what to do. It's hard to believe you're alive under all that. But I'm so thankful you are. Though I know I say I don't know what I did, in no way excuses what I've done to you~~~to all of you."
"And I'm sorry. Next time we meet, I hope I'll be able to figure out everything , all that I've forgotten about the last five years."
"Then maybe we can all find some peace."
"You deserve it." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So what did ya think? Yeah, that was Syd talking to a incapacitated Weiss. And of course since he can't talk, it was a one-sided conversation! You will not believe what is going to happen next..Will is still trying to save Syd's life while Vaughn~~~well, he's going to do something like never before!!!
And you thought the Asian Dentist was bad!!!!!
Oh another note, I'll be updating "The Other Side of the Story," "For better or worse till the NSC do us part (which is going to go into it's first episode of S/V! YAY Maybe I'll get more reviews that way!) and for your Vartan fans, I will update my fic "Never Been Pregnant," good o'l Sam being not only a husband but soon-to-be father, with its' own little twist!!!
So look for those, normal disclaimers apply and please continue to review!!!!!!!
Total Vaughn Lover