After a long night filledwith laughterand deep conversations in good company, which went far too long after the closing hours, they finally decided to get back to the motel room. They got up, all of them more than a little bit tipsy, but warmed from the alcohol and very happy.
Ivy had been pretty fast convinced that Sammy, with all his charm and puppy eyes, was really worth it and she couldn't keep her hands for herself - after she had discovered that Sam had indeed a very, very nice body - for the rest of the evening. They acted like horny teenagers, including very audible making-out and very 'discreet' groping and touching at delicate places – but Dean didn't mind, he was happy with the probability of his little brother getting laid that night.
Dean had not moved a single bit fromCastiel the entire evening; he had stayed right there at his place with his thigh pressed against his. He had gotten used to the heat radiating from where their bodies were connected, and enjoyed it far more than he actually should. At one point he really had to go to the bathroom, but after he had returned very quickly, he had sat exactly as close as they were before – the loss of the heat and the sudden coolness at his thigh had nearly made him whimper during the short trip to the bathroom.
As they all got up, Dean's face fell at the thought of leaving Cas' thigh, breaking the contact for getting home, and that he might not be able to have some of his heat near around him anytime soon. He sighed heavily and threw his leather jacket on. But as soon as he looked over to Cas, who stood swaying happily at the doorframe, his trench coat a little bit lopsided on his shoulders, shooting him a crooked grin, he couldn't help but smile widely.
"Whoa. Take it easy, man, the last round of Tequila was pretty strong, wasn't it, huh?" Dean laughed, walking over to Cas and, after hesitating in a short consideration, slid his arm around Cas' waist – to steady him, of course. Dean was very proud of himself that he found such a good excuse to be near Cas. He grinned at Cas, tipsy himself, even though his tolerance limit was incredibly high.
"I really think you shouldn't fly anymore tonight, Cas" Dean joked, and was a little bit more than surprised when he heard a low chuckle from his side. Encouraged by Cas' laughing, he added, "How about you come back to our room with us, and stay there 'til you're sobered up? We could watch TV or somethin' …"
"Or something…" Cas chuckled, and Dean nearly didn't hear it, so low was Cas' voice, raspy and warm by the alcohol and the late evening, but he didn't really think much about it, he was happy with one arm around Castiel, pressing him into his side, hip on hip (for balance, of course), enjoying his body heat. He had given up on thinking hours ago. He guided the drunken angel out of the door, catching him as he tripped over his own feet, laughing a little bit, and waited patiently for Sam and Ivy to lock up the place so they could finally get to go back to the motel.
Dean held Cas all the way back to the motel with a firm grip around his waist. Cas had put his arm around Dean's waist, too, at some point, and he did not really mind that Cas leaned into him, putting most of his weight on Dean. They shared their body heat to keep warm and laughed quietly about Cas' philosophical theories about the Beauty of his Father's Creation, recited slightly slurred, while clinging to each other with great force. For the balance, of course. Now and then, Cas stopped abruptly and looked up into Dean's face, trying to figure out whether he was still there or not, like he was the one being able to disappear into thin air. Only after a long, squint-eyed look into those green eyes, he was convinced, that yes, Dean still had his arm firmly around his waist, where it belonged, and Dean had to smile a big, happy, tipsy smile, as soon as Cas stumbled forward, after he had sighed contently, pulling Dean with him.
Sammy caught up with them, and Dean made Cas sit down on the sidewalk, so he wouldn't fall over while he stood alone. Sam told him that he will probably not come back to the motel room with them. Unfortunately, Ivy's flat was nearer. Sammy tried to keep his voice as neutral as possible, but Dean could hear the excitement and satisfaction in between his words and shot a wide, toothy grin at Sam. The younger Winchesterburied his hands deep in his pockets and blushed slightly, rocking forth and back on the balls of his feet.
"Well then, have fun, tiger! Make your big brother proud!" he said loudly, laughed and clapped Sammy's back. Sam just rolled his eyes but had to smile too. He hurried back to Ivy and Dean called out, "Use protection!" which earned him another annoyed look, and then Sam was gone around the corner, Ivy in his arms, laughing and giggling, leaving Dean alone with Cas.
Dean shook his head and smiled a small smile, watching the corner Sam had just disappeared to. He was happy for his little baby-brother, getting lucky, with such a nice and hot girl. He knew Sammy would never, could never forget Jessica. And he would never find someone like her, but still, he was happy for his little brother-for this one night of forgetting and fun.
He turned around to help Cas up, but he found the angel laying on his back down on the pavement, watching the dark blue sky, hands folded neatly above his stomach, legs angled up, the trench coat spread underneath him, like a blanket, with a content smile on his lips.
Damn it. He looked so beautiful. And so peaceful. And so vulnerable. Even though Dean knew the angel was much, much stronger than himself, he felt the sudden urge to protect this angel from all the hurt this world had to offer. He looked so vulnerable, laying there, counting the stars, and probably knowing each and every single one by their name and their story. Cas turned his head and looked at him, standing a few feet apart.
"It is difficult to see the stars if your vision is ambiguous." He murmured into the quiet night.
Dean sat down besides Castiel, looking up into the sky. The air had cooled down; it was early in the morning, rather still night. The street light above their heads was broken so they were able to see all the stars this night had to offer.
Dean sat crossed-legged next to Cas' head, his fingers playing with the hem of one of the sleeves of the trench coat.
"Has Sam left with the blonde woman?" Cas asked.
Dean had to chuckle at the thought, that Cas apparently talked like a four-year-old when he was drunk.
"Yep … and I guess they won't get any sleep tonight." Dean laughed softly.
"But I really don't want to talk about that right now, or even think about it…" he added and stretched out beside Castiel, one arm cushioning his head, the other arm resting on his stomach.
He turned his head to get a better view on his best friend. Cas' profile was beautiful, simply beautiful. The lips, a little bit dry and chapped, which made Cas' tongue dart out to wet them every so often, the fine nose, the small dimple in his chin, which Dean definitely did not find cute, and, of course, those incredibly blue eyes. Everything fit together perfectly. He didn't want to stop staring.
"Dean…" Cas moved a little bit to get more comfortable, his hand fell between their bodies.
"Hmm…?" Dean hummed, not averting his glance.
"Dean, there are so, so many stars. And they are all so beautiful, all so unique, and so impressive. I have seen them all." He stilled for a moment, and Dean did not really know how to respond to this information.
"Dean, I have done horrible, horrible things-"
Dean wanted to interrupt him, but Cas made him stop with a firm glance.
"I killed my own brothers. I broke every rule I know. I rebelled. I ignored my orders. I brought chaos to Heaven. And then I turned my back to those who still believed in me, even after all I had done. I lost my mind; and I gained sanity again. Dean. The only thing that has been there from the beginning until to this very moment, has been you. You made me question my orders. You showed me my way to my own free will. In spite of everything I have done so far, in spite of everything I have done and I have said, you always still believed in me, gave me the strength I needed to go on, to get through, and to survive. Always, Dean…"
Dean looked at him, really looked at him. With his last words, Cas' had turned towards him, looking into his eyes with a stern look. Dean had expected anything but this heavy speech. He didn't know what to say. He opened his mouth, looking into those very blue eyes, but his throat was too tight to get anything out.
"I wanted to thank you for that. Thank you, Dean Winchester. I am deeply in your debt."
Dean still didn't know what to say. He just stared into Cas' wide blue eyes and saw everything-saw how sincere Cas was about everything he had said. He saw the pain, the guilt, he saw pure affection towards him, Dean, he saw the gratefulness, and the promise to do anything to protect him.
"Thanks, Cas…" Dean murmured, his voice raspy from emotions racing through him. He lowered his gaze to his hands, which now lay next to Cas', and the sudden urge to touch and comfort overwhelmed him. He swallowed hard, the look fixed sternly onto their hands. He reached out, slowly and carefully, as not to scare him away, and touched Cas' hand with his index finger. He stroked slowly over Cas' knuckles and glanced to Castiel's face to search for the reaction, holding his breath, not daring to move anymore.
The fond and tender expression he found there released his chest, which had been drawn together by his much too quickly beating heart. Cas smiled a little bit, his typical smile, which you could only see if you looked very hard, and Dean stroked over his knuckles again, tentatively. His heart beat loud in his ears, he felt dizzy from holding his breath. His heart skipped a beat when Cas moved his hand, but Cas only turned his hand around and stroked ever so lightly over Dean's palm. They stared at each other and tried to read each other's mind.
Cas liked this. He was not that drunk anymore and his little speech had sobered him up even more, but he was still warm and fuzzy on the inside and his heart pumped faster than normal. He looked into those deep, dark green eyes, and saw a silent question, like Dean was asking for permission for something. He had intuitively responded to the stroking, and had noticed Dean's eyes widening with his response. He smiled at him contently, and Dean had smiled back, relieved. The tension between them had lessened, and Cas grasped Dean's hand and held it lightly. Dean responded immediately with a small squeeze. Cas intertwined their fingers slowly and shot another small reassuring smile to Dean, who returned it even bigger. He decided he liked this holding-each-other's-hand-in-your-own and stroke lightly with his thumb over Dean's hand as he turned his head back to stare into the night sky. The stars swirled around in his sight, just like all the thoughts in his head, but Dean's strong, rough hand kept him safe from getting lost in the whirling, and he enjoyed the heat they shared between their bodies. He liked that. Lying on the ground, watching the stars, holding Dean's warm hand. It could stay that way.
Dean had observed Cas' face as they had intertwined their fingers, but all he could see was contentment. It was nearly too much when Cas smiled a last small smile and turned back to watch the sky, and continued to stroke the back of his hand. It felt so good, so warm, so right; he felt as if he was directly connected to Cas through their hands, and it just felt right. He didn't really think about this as "holding hands with his best friend while watching the stars", and how it would sound spoken aloud. He didn't think much at all at this moment. It was too good to think about it right now. He looked back at the sky, but couldn't keep himself from grinning widely. He enjoyed holding Cas' hand more than he should. It was a very intimate gesture, but it didn't say anything other than 'affection' and 'fondness', and Dean was more than happy with that.
It should always be like that. It could stay like that.