BACK TO THE FUNNY! Yay!

Worst…night…ever!

I first had to go and catch some random ghost. Then I had to sign papers, a lot of papers. All these legal things are seriously getting on my nerves. How did Vlad do it? Then a club-attack, man those girls can run. Don't they get that I'm taken? Don't believe me; check my girlfriend's left hand! Or should I say fiancé? I could learn to love that word. Anyway, the wedding's tomorrow. And I'm a nervous wreck.

Sam, Sam Manson (soon to be Fenton) said yes. TO ME! Why, I don't know. I mean look at me! A half-ghost freak with little to no free time because of random events that led me to be savior of the world and owner of various companies around said world. Thanks for that, Vlad. No really, I wanted to be your soul beneficiary…NOT! Thank goodness Sam's dad helps me with that. Jeremy's awesome with this stuff. And Pamela has decided that I'm worthy of her family now. I guess that Vlad did help, a little.

So here I am, chained to a desk, signing papers and writing my vows. Better late than never, right? There is so much I want to say to her but I don't think the rabbi and pastor would be too happy with that. Oh, did I forget to mention that because Sam's Jewish and I'm not we have to have this double wedding thing? I guess I didn't. That's why I'm glad Pam did the coordinating. I'm even gladder to see that she actually listened to Sam's opinion for once.

It's going to be perfect. Expensive, but perfect. The only deviation from tradition we're going to do is instead of a limo (like Pam wanted) we're going to fly off into the sunset. Corny, I know, but what better way to start a life then that? Not to mention that I can actually fly.

And don't tell Sam, but Vlad's will helped in more ways than one. He had property all over the world, including a private island somewhere in the Caribbean. And I say 'hello honeymoon'. I even got the ghost thing covered. I somehow got them to call a temporary truce for the wedding. I still don't know why they all reacted like good friends when I said 'wedding'. Offering congratulations and pats on my back so on and so forth. I've fought agent these ghosts for…has it really been five years? Wow, time flies.

One…more…DONE! I hope I don't get carpal tunnel from all this paperwork. Homework was easy compared to this. Now for my vows…what should I say? I only have so much time to say everything. I could say the obvious. That I love her, that I need her, blah, blah, blah. Or I could go deeper. I'm usually not good with the putting words together and making it come out intelligent thing. I usually crack jokes and make puns. I love puns. It's how I deal with things. But my mom said that if I do that for my vows…let's just say I won't be half-ghost anymore. Maybe I should sleep on it? That sounds so good right now. Does that clock say 12:59? The truce has been active for a whole hour, no wonder I got all those papers signed. Geez, I'm going to bed. If all else fails, I'll take my dad's advice. 'Speak from the heart and focus only on her.' Yup, my dad can be deep if he wants to.

*line break to next day…9:30*

I AM SO LATE! If it wasn't for Tuck, I wouldn't even be up! Stupid alarm! Stupid clock! Stupid tie! How do I even tie this thing? Where's mom when you need her? Oh…trying to get my attention, nice timing mom. Is she crying? She's talking like she's gonna lose me. Oh, mom. You will never lose me, I'm just growing up. No matter where this takes us, no matter what happens, I'm still your son, your little boy. Did I say that out loud? She's smiling now. I must have. Oh, geez! My vows! Looks like I'm winging it, but what else is new? Can't fly, I'd mess up the suit. Darn it, I have to take the limo. Most people like limos, but I'm not most people. I prefer flying to any form of overly-expensive and hassling road vehicle. Well, whatever. It gets me there and doesn't involve any concentration on my part.

There it is, the place where I lose the single status and add a 'and Mrs.' to my name. No, it's not a building or a backyard. It's the park. The place where we first met, where we had our first 'fake-out make-out', where I kick ghost butt on a regular basis, where I asked Sam to be my girlfriend, and where I asked her to marry me. It's only fitting this is where I make her my wife.

I see all our family, and that includes friends too. Oh…goodie…the media. Why do they feel they have the right to come and film my life? Is it because I'm famous? Or maybe that I'm richer than Vlad was? Whatever it is, I don't want them here, but I'll be nice today. I don't want anything messing up today. Is that Mr. Lancer? It is! He's lost some weight, good for him! Dad's already front row center, probably holding a seat for mom. Where is mom? Did I leave her back at the hotel? Oh man! I could go get her or send the chauffeur…or just wait for her to get out of the limo, that works too.

Ok, mom and dad, Jeremy and Pamela, Dash and Paulina…Dash and Paulina? About time! I was sure they'd get together before Star and Kwan. There's Tuck and Jazz. Yes it was weird for my best friend to admit he had a crush on my sister, thanks for asking. Looks like Val got herself a date too. Who is that guy? He looks a little like Nathan without the glasses and combed hair. Might as well ask.

It was Nathan! And by the little ring on Val's hand, she really likes him. Good for them. We need more of that in this world. I should know I've been around it enough in the past few years. Looks like everyone's here. No empty chairs, the wedding procession in the back (including Jazz and Tuck), I'm standing on the…what's the word…dais. It's just a raised platform with some steps, why does it have to have a fancy name? I can hear the music now and my heart is thumping wildly. In just a few minutes, I'll see her. I haven't seen her in a couple of days. That's one of the stupidest traditions I've ever heard, and all the paperwork I've had to do didn't help in the least. The orchestra pauses in three…two…one…and the gigantic useless door opens (why there's a big freakin' door in the middle of freakin' nowhere is beyond freakin' me) and there she is. Oh, she's so beautiful. More beautiful than anything I've ever seen, more wondrous than any work of art, more…I think you get it. Why is she going so slow? Did time stop around us? No, everyone is still moving. All I want is her right here beside me, from now on. Everything is going so slow but really fast at the same time. Before I know it, she's right here. When did Jazz take the flowers? When did Tuck hand me the ring? Everyone's looking at me. Is it time for my vows already? Time to use my dad's advice.

Sam, what can I say? We've been friends for a really long time. We've laughed together, cried together, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, together. Sam's smiling and mom's crying. Why? Did I say that out loud? Must have because Sam's kissing me and I notice the little bag at my feet. I stomp on it with a satisfying sound of shattering glass.

We're married. We're Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Fenton. I was so nervous that I didn't notice how hungry I was. Now that it's over, I'm starving! It all looked so good. As much as I loved…whatever we were eating…I couldn't help but notice my ghost sense going off or the large group of ghosts hovering above the tables. What gives? I thought we had a truce! I heard someone yelling out 'we do'. Did I say that out loud? Must have, Dani came from behind some ghosts. Man that kid's grown up! She was holding a present behind her back and she floated down to hover in front of mine and Sam's table.

"We wanted to give you your gifts!"

Gifts? As in plural? As in more than one? She was smiling at me as she handed me the box she was holding. I looked at Sam as she stood to see what we were given.

What in this world gave her the idea that we needed blue and pink baby hats with matching blankets?

"It's from Clockwork." Dani said. Of course it's from Clockwork. I heard my clone/cousin giggle. I don't know if it was from me saying stuff again or from my face. Either way, I put away the gift before Tucker could get any ideas. I could also see that there were other ghosts that wanted to come and give gifts. This will take awhile.

Ghosts are too obsessive. Even the gifts they give reflect their own interests. Lunch Lady gave us a set of kitchen knives, very big kitchen knives. Only after she threatened to take over the buffet and made the caterer cry. Technus gave us a toaster, microwave, TV, computer, phone, and a non-ghost-catching thermos that said '#1 pain' on it. He certainly came with the most. Ember gave both of us personalized guitars and an offer of lessons. She was surprisingly nice about it too. Desiree's gift was unexpected but very welcomed. One rule free, no strings attached, instant results, satisfaction guaranteed, with no expiration date wish. Like I said, it was unexpected. Now Skulker's gift was not only large but awkward, loud and funny. It was the Box Ghost wrapped up with a bright red bow on top of his head. Yup, you heard me. Skulker gave Sam and me the Box Ghost as a gift. And here I was hoping for him to give up on hunting me, no such luck there. I let the poor blue idiot go, much to Lunch Lady's happiness.

I knew that they wouldn't cause trouble, so I let them stay till the end of lunch. And it was fun. They all behaved themselves. Except for Dani though, I think she might have gotten that from me. Other than the Dani-'diving'-in-the-punch incident it all went smooth. And just before we left they had one more gift. At first I thought it was weird rice. But apparently it's ghost tradition to shower the new couple in tiny sparkles of ectoplasm. The ghosts were throwing it out like it was rice though. All in all, it was a nice display and it announced our exit. It was a nice beginning to a new life.

*Line break, remote island in the Caribbean, 9:15 PM*

We're finally here! If I didn't know exactly where this island was, I would have been lost hours ago. Oh, look, Vlad was nice enough to build a house here. I'm still thinking of this as Vlad's stuff, not mine. Well, whatever. We're here now and I'm with Sam and we have the rest of our lives to decide which charities we're giving the obscene amounts of money to.

All our stuff that we'd need for the next three weeks was already here.

"Maybe we should get working on using Clockwork's gift." I turned to a bright red Sam.

"Did I say that out loud?"

If you can't tell, that was Sam at the end. Danny had 'Did I say that' moments all day. It was Sam's turn.