69 Ways #4 - By Coming Back From the "Dead" to Play Hide and Seek
A lot of things happen when you are resurrected by fanfiction writers. Like being put in ridiculous situations where literally anything could go wrong.
(Just out of curiousity, does anyone here read/watch Attack on Titan?)
._.
Cross was beginning to wonder if Allen had given up.
Actually, no.
He was wondering if Allen was even aware that he had left in the first place.
He had started the game after their last meeting in order to cheer up his student, but predictably he cheated and went for a head start. Timcanpy should have passed along the message that the they were all going to be playing Hide and Seek: But Oops I'm Actually (Probably) Dead Edition, and that Allen was "it."
Unfortunately Timcanpy wasn't very reliable lately. Cross suspected- after months and months of hiding out- that the golem had not done as he was told and flew off somewhere randomly. There was no way Allen was this bad at hide and seek. If so, what had all that training been for? The only reason he had created so much debt (and ran away from it) was so his apprentice would one day become so good at finding him that he became the King of Hide and Seek!
Err, wait, that wasn't quite right.
He was pretty sure that statement was entirely wrong. Was that even a title that someone could claim?
His thoughts were cut off short by the opening of a door. Cross peeked out from under his hiding spot to watch as his apprentice and another person entered the room. They were discussing a recent event from the sound of it, but the voice conversing with Allen was one he didn't recognize, and this person was saying something about how the situation was becoming "ridiculous." But this voice was entirely different from the other two people who had been here earlier. One of them sat down on the edge of the bed across was hiding under, while the other person- who he recognized as the junior bookman- sat on the bed across from them.
And just further down a third person appeared. A young girl with spiky hair was looking out from underneath the bed, camera in hand as she adjusted the viewing angle.
It took him a while to react to this.
It took him even longer to recognize who this was, but when he finally did he wasn't as alarmed as he should have been.
Considering, of course, that he was supposed to be (momentarily?) removed from the story too.
He couldn't really get angry at her for trying to make an appearance.
"What are you doing here?" Cross whispered as the other room's occupants delved into a deep conversation. "Is this really an appropriate spot for a young girl to be? In the hotel room of your crush? Everyone is totally going to get the wrong idea if you get caught camping out in a shady place like this."
Road Camelot frowned as she lowered her camera.
"Um, sorry, but could you be quiet?" she whispered back. "I'm playing Hide and Seek: Stalker and Unknowing Victim Edition."
"You hurry up and get arrested," he told her bluntly.
"Oh trust me, that doesn't work. So, why are you here?" Road switched the topic and adjusted her camera once more so she could get the right angle. "I thought you were permanently removed from the story when Apocryphos killed you back in chapter 168."
The fourth wall was such a doormat these days. Even casual remarks by side characters seemed to shatter it.
We need to reinforce the damn thing with steel, he thought angrily. Side characters shouldn't be able to have that kind of ability.
This matter aside...
Cross was offended that she would suggest such a thing. "I'm not dead, I'm playing hide and go seek!" He raised his voice in irritation.
There was a sudden halt in conversation above them, the sound of something- or someone- being hit, and a muffled "ow."
"Did you hear something?" Allen asked. "I could have sworn I just heard something stupid that made me want to punch someone."
"Is that why you just punched me?!"
"Oh, sorry Lavi," Allen apologized earnestly. "I didn't mean to. I'm sure things are hard enough without having any screen time..."
There was a sigh. From his position, Cross could see the bookman junior shift his position so that he was leaning back, legs now swinging back and forth off of the edge of the bed. Road moved backwards to avoid getting hit, scowling as she was forced to find a new angle to shoot photos from.
"Well, just think about the offer," Lavi said as he rubbed the back of his head. "The two of us fighting the bad guys would make a much better story than you continuing the story with Johnny. Not that I have anything against him, aside from the fact that he was previously a minor character and was given a role that one of the main character's closest friends should have taken."
Cross had a feeling that he had just listened to something he wasn't supposed to hear.
"What is this, an editor's meeting?" he muttered to himself.
"Lavi, I don't know about this," Allen objected. "Hoshino can't just make everyone a side character..."
Side characters?
What exactly had the bookman junior proposed they do?
Cross frowned, and exchanged glances with the stalker Noah. She seemed just as confused as he was about this.
"Allen, you're the main character," he stressed. "You have more influence on Hoshino than any of us here. If it's you, then she might just consider changing things a bit." Lavi folded his arms and nodded confidently as he thought this over. "She'll definitely do something about the current situation if you just ask. I mean, she's also put your character through a lot of grief lately, hasn't she? If worst comes to worst you can pull a guilt trip..."
Cross was seriously lost here. That guy never really made sense, but that may be because Cross just drank a couple bottles of alcohol. For the fourth time that evening. Plus eight more alcoholic beverages.
It was really hard to get drunk these days.
"Allen, let's face it," Lavi said when the other didn't respond. "This is really about me and you getting all of the screen time. The rest are simply there to help us move the plot along."
...
"What."
Hide and seek be damned.
He didn't care if this meant the game was over.
He didn't care!
This- this plotting- was an outrage!
Cross scrambled out from underneath the bed, ignoring his apprentice for the moment as he confronted the bookman junior.
"WHAT?" he shouted. He grabbed the bookman junior by his shoulders and shook him violently. "So you're the reason why the rest of us have been ignored for the past few months? What the hell made you think you had any right to do that!"
"Master, why were you hiding under my bed?" Allen was surprised by the sudden appearance, but then shook his head and stood, realizing that wasn't the right question to ask. Being in a shocked state, he managed to mess up his demand for explanations. "I mean- didn't you die? How are you suddenly alive?!"
Road emerged from her hiding place to join in the conversation. She raised her camera to Allen's face, snapped a couple photos (the flashes momentarily blinded him in the process) and then stood beside Cross to confront Lavi. "Is this guy the reason why everyone has been losing screen time?" she demanded. "Is this why my character disappeared? Because this guy wanted some attention?"
"Um, more importantly, how are you two still living?!" Allen tried to interject, still recovering from the sudden bright lights. "And why were you both hiding beneath the beds?"
He was ignored.
"Explain yourself!" Cross ordered. He pushed Lavi away, sending him stumbling backwards. Cross threateningly cracked his knuckles, giving the bookman junior a death glare as he prepared to beat the answers out of the other if necessary. "You don't want to end up with a bloody face, do you?"
Lavi raised his hands in defense, quickly standing and moving away to avoid being cornered by two very dangerous individuals. "Hey, I didn't mean you guys! You're both very important to the story- right Allen?"
Allen was still recovering from the flash photography. To keep him from joining the conversation, Road flashed ten more pictures in Allen's face to prevent him from doing anything to help.
"Oi, Allen!" Lavi dodged Cross's fist as it came flying in his direction while side stepping a kick from Road. "Aren't you going to help me?"
"My eyes hurt," he complained, "I'm just going to sit down for a bit..."
Cross and Road continued to gang up on the bookman junior, nearly destroying the room in the process. In place of his previous weapon Judgement, the former general ripped off the sink from the bathroom wall while Road had broken the mirror and was using the shards to fight. Meanwhile, Allen sat back down on the rented bed and rubbed his eyes as he waited for the camera's effects to calm down.
The door opened and two more people entered the already crowded room. Kanda and Johnny paid no attention to the fight and approached Allen, tapping the runaway exorcist on the shoulder to catch his attention.
"Is something the matter?" He asked, peeking out through his fingers with squinted eyes.
"Yeah, the story is currently outside in some alleyway with you and the Earl having a showdown," Kanda told him. "Didn't you get the memo?"
Allen put his head back into his hands and hung his head tiredly. "I thought we got past that chapter already."
"No, we're still stuck on that chapter because there haven't been any updates," Johnny explained. He casually avoided being hit by the sink Cross was trying to hit Lavi with, adjusted the glasses on his face and smiled. "We don't have to go back to the scene now, but we thought we should be on standby in case Hoshino is able to publish the next chapter."
"I don't want to be on standby for that long," Allen objected. "Anyways, I'm not in the mood to fight right now. My head hurts."
"Are you sure that's not just your stomach?" Kanda responded coldly.
"For the last time, I don't think with my stomach!" Allen shouted.
"You don't?"
Kanda was genuinely shocked by this.
"No, I don't," he confirmed while trying not to explode out of frustration. Then, turning his attention back to the three other visitors, he commented, "But even if I did think with my stomach, it would still be better than being brainless like those three over there."
As he said this, Lavi successfully dodged a flying sink, which broke through the wall and went flying out into the streets. He laughed triumphantly as Cross went to find something else to fight the bookman junior with, while still avoiding Road's vicious jabs.
"Haha, you missed! And aren't you supposed to be a skilled marksman?" he taunted the former general.
"Shut up, I only have one eye," Cross defended his poor aiming by blaming everything on his vision. "Plus I have glasses! And I'm DRUNK! Do you really expect me to aim well like this?"
"So?" Lavi managed to knock the piece of glass out of Road's hands, proceeding to shatter it into tiny pieces with his foot once it landed on the floor. "I can only use one eye, too."
Cross came out of the bathroom, took a closer look, and then nodded. "Oh, you do. I guess we have something in common other than our red hair and love of women. Should we form a clique or something?"
"Probably," Lavi answered. "I think that's what people do when they have mutual interests or similarities. To avoid being labeled as a reject by the rest of society, I think."
"Well, I don't want to be rejected by society, so I'm going to go ahead and do that," Cross said.
"Master, society has already rejected you," Allen informed his teacher. "It's a little too late to try to improve your image."
This came as news to Cross.
"Cheeky brat," he muttered with a scowl on his face. "I should have trained you to be a King of Sass instead of the King of Hide and Seek. It looks like I've wasted all those years on such a worthless purpose."
"Yes, striving to make your student the King of Hide and Seek is definitely a completely worthless thing to do," Kanda agreed. "You have every right to lament over everything you've done up until now. Everything. This includes being born."
Mistakenly thinking that he was being sympathized with, Cross didn't say anything on this as Kanda continued.
"In fact, if I were you, I would consider trying to make amends for all the terrible, pointless, stupid and irresponsible things that you have done up until this day..." he went on.
"Hm, I don't know how to do that," Cross admitted. "What do I do?"
"Start by washing your neck," Kanda instructed as he removed Mugen from its casing. "I'll take care of the rest." *
Cross did as he was suggested and came back into the main room, using a towel to dry his neck. "Like this?" he asked, not commenting when he saw everyone restraining the swordsman who had begun to shout profanities at them.
Being intoxicated, Cross lost interest in the conversation and began to wander away. As he walked out the door, he could be heard saying something about how this time someone else other than Allen would be "it."
The group struggled to removed Mugen from its bloodthirsty owner. When they had, Kanda sat down on the floor with his arms crossed, refusing to say anything as he tried to "calm himself" as everyone suggested. They felt a sense of camaraderie after they succeeded in banding together to save a person's life, but then Road remembered why she had come out in the first place.
"Hey, wait a minute!" she shouted at Lavi. "You didn't answer our question!"
"Now you realize this?" Allen sighed.
"I can explain!" Lavi quickly said, but then made a run for it when he saw how angry she was. "Uh, later, that is!"
He ran out the door and went in the opposite direction as Cross just in case. Road made sure to take her camera with her as she chased after, and left without closing the door.
"..."
Allen, not knowing what to make of this situation, looked at the damage done to the rented room and then at his current traveling companions. Johnny was attempting to fix up the place, whereas Kanda was scowling at the world before him.
Then he looked at the open hole in the wall.
He was honestly tempted to make a break for it when he estimated how high the cost would be for repairs.
"I suppose this is where you would say old habits die hard..." he began.
But, he shook his head and forced the thought to go away.
"Kanda, you can get rid of that old drunk later," Allen promised. "For now, let's just bail. There's no way we're going to pay for the damages."
Neither Kanda nor Johnny protested against this.
Not wanting to be associated with any of their visitors, they left the rented room in their own way:
By going out the giant hole Cross created with the sink.
._.
*It was a common practice to wash a person's neck before decapitation.
A/N: It's great to be back, everyone! I've missed posting for you guys like crazy. Now I know I said I wouldn't post until I had every chapter ready, but you can find more information about that on my profile.
Next chapter: Cross cross cross, everything is getting crossed and no one is safe. Also, we get to see the Noahs. They didn't get much attention in the last story I wrote. Also, clones.
Clones.