She had to have been a dream. I had fallen asleep. Yes, I had fallen asleep by the stone, as it should be, and spoke to someone from Starclan. There is nothing to worry about; she's gone now. No, she was never here. It was just my imagination…
But I then remembered that I can't sleep. I'm dead.
Her appearance still haunted me. I could feel her icy eyes boring into my brain. Or maybe that was just my imagination too.
I rested in the cave for a few days, trying to piece out this predicament. If I found another spirit, someone not insane, they could help me. If that female could speak to me, what keeps me from speaking to others?
As stayed in the cave, my frigged body tucked beneath the glassy stone, I could feel myself loosing hope. The aura around me seemed to seep with anguish, and the air chilled even more every day. I resolved to leave this cave, for I would never find any help here. Or worse: that she-cat might find me again.
The moonlight shone over the dew-laden grass. I was glad for the dark. I had been in there for so long that I had become accustomed to it.
A black figure caught my eye. I called out to it, but there was no response. It was a cat, no doubt. I followed it.
Its paw steps were abrupt, it's breath labored. It was afraid, but for what. As my sprinting steps slowed next to her, I realized that she held a small, dark bundle between her jaws. A kit.
I reached to her, my paw falling straight through her muzzle. The kitten mewed once, but the female tightened her grip on its head, muffling the call. The kitten writhed in pain.
With one swift movement of her head, the kitten fell to the rocks. Its head bled profusely. The female snorted once as the kitten attempted to squirm away. I could see that its back legs were mutilated with some sort of strange birth defect.
As I reached out to it, the mother unsheathed her claws. With a quick swipe, she ripped the kitten's stomach open. It shrieked in pain. "No!" I called, my voice in a horrible harmony with the kitten's.
The she-cat froze. Did she hear me? She turned her head towards me, but her eyes looked straight through my as if I was invisible. Which I was.
She turned back to the kitten, which had quickly bled out. Its lifeless body seemed darker in the pool of its own blood. The moon continued to bear witness, reaching out with rays of light to touch the kitten, though it only made the scene more gruesome.
The female snorted. "May Starclan have mercy," she mumbled and spat in the kitten's direction. Before she left, she took a pawful of the blood, smearing it on her face and began to mumble something about "dogs, dogs everywhere, I tried to save her." And with a quick glance around, she disappeared into the brush.
I prodded the kitten. Though my paw slit through her fur like the wind, I could feel something inside her, desperate to get out.
And so I stayed by the kitten all night. I did not sleep, mostly because I could not, partially because I felt responsible for her. How could I, though? I could not have stopped the female. But she heard me. She heard my call. I could have yelled again, but I was too afraid.
Afraid of what? That she would see me? I craved for someone to see me again. Maybe I was too embarrassed. I don't want to be known as the cat who was not good enough for Starclan.
I watched the kitten until the break of dawn. As the sun rose, flies began to swarm around her little body. I tried to shoo them, but I only managed to smack the kitten again. Why could I feel her but nothing else? I then heard the demonic voice of the tortoiseshell female again:
Attached to it…
I stayed by the kitten through the day. A few animals came by to sniff the carcass, but none took a bite. I was started by the few dogs that passed, teeth desperate to extirpate her tiny body, but the sharp tugs from their twolegs lead them away.
At sunhigh, though, a lone bird with a large wingspan and a pink head landed not far away. I looked away as its ravenous beak plunged into the carrion. When I looked back, I only found black fur and a few moist bones.
Her soul was nowhere in sight.
I hulled myself from the ground. I was amazed at how much I had aged in those few days following my death. I shivered when I thought of my body decomposing.
So I chose to walk. I walked through the forest, occasionally spotting a mouse or two. I walked through the rocky areas. I even ventured into twoleg territory, for there was now nothing to fear from them. I don't know how many days I walked, but I finally realized that I was bored.
I was bored in death. Lonely. But not scared. Why wasn't I scared?
I periodically called for the tortoiseshell she-cat. Since she had no name, I found myself calling her the "tortoiseshell she-cat".
But in all of my roaming, I never had the heart to go back to my camp. I did not want to see how they had all moved on…
It was maybe the eighth or ninth day of my venturing when I came across a small band of rouges. Or maybe they were only loners. Prancing between the paws of the adults were two little dark kittens, not even a moon old. Their mother was just as dark-furred, while their father held a brown tabby hue.
Their mother glanced at them and sighed as her mate padded up to her. "I heard more barking last night," she mewed.
"Not to worry, Nyx. I have not scented a dog for quite some time." He pressed his flank to her.
"I just wish I could have protected all of my kits." She sniffed and looked into his eyes dramatically.
He stared at his paws. "I'm still glad that you got away." There was real emotion in his voice. "I... I would rather lose one kit than to have lost you…"
Nyx purred, but the male continued. "We didn't even get to name her."
"Let's not linger on the past, now, Ignis. We still have these two. And each other." She shook her head. "Besides, with her deformities, she would not have lasted long anyways."
I did not hear the rest of their conversation; something distracted me. On the edge of the camp stood a lone, black she-cat. The fur around her stomach seemed to hang looser that it should, almost as if the skin had been pulled from bone. Her eyes held a look of intense sadness.
I recognized her immediately. My, had she grown fast.
"Hello? Black kitten?" I whispered before I could stop myself. I could have been mistaken, but I was sure I was not.
My voice shocked her into awareness. She looked completely horrified.
"You…" she mewed timidly. "You can see me?"
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