Disclaimer: The characters of Inuyasha are owned by Rumiko Takahashi, but this story belongs to me.
Chapter Three: #4 Monody
Assignment #4
Write a monody poem, a poem where one person laments someone's death. It can be a real person, a fictional person, someone you knew or didn't know. You can be serious or whimsical. It is up to you.
"Kagome has been depressed all day," whispered Sango.
Miroku nodded. "I agree. Perhaps she and Inuyasha have had another disagreement."
"Suppose he hurt her feelings again?"
"If so, I am surprised she has not yet returned to her time."
"Maybe it has something to do with Kikyo," whispered Shippo as he joined in the conversation. "She only gets this depressed when he goes to see Kikyo."
Inuyasha's eye began to twitch. Did they really think that he couldn't hear them? Or were they doing it on purpose just to irritate him? Instead of yelling at them he concentrated on the girl walking quietly behind him. She really was being unusually quiet. Shippo hit too close to home when he said that she was acting the way she would when he had been to check up on Kikyo. He frowned. Had the other priestess had contact with Kagome that he didn't know about? Had she dared to threaten her again?
Surely she wasn't doubting his heart again. She must know how he felt. After all, if he had been in love with Kikyo he would have been traveling with her. Yeah, if Kikyo happened to be around he would go see if she had any news about Naraku and see how she was doing. He felt a responsibility towards her. He cared for her. Though he didn't trust her, especially not with Kagome. For as long as Kikyo walks the earth, he had to keep an eye out for her when she was near.
However, it was Kagome that he was unable to be parted with for more than three days in a row without going stark raving mad. Didn't that tell her SOMETHING? Inuyasha snorted, but Kagome was never very logical when it came to Kikyo.
But the dead priestess hadn't been seen in weeks. And no one had spoken her name or anything since that day they ran across her. It didn't make sense that she would be sulking over it now. Surely the girl wouldn't be making herself miserable on purpose by thinking of stuff from the past.
Inwardly Inuyasha cringed. Yeah, she would.
There really was only one way to find out for sure. And that was to ask. But no one wanted to ask for fear of opening up an emotional maelstrom.
Two seconds later, Inuyasha exploded. "WHAT is WRONG with you, wench?"
Instead of blowing up at him like he expected, Kagome shrugged one shoulder and looked off to the side as she plodded along, keeping her face hidden. "Nothing is wrong, Inuyasha." She would have kept walking if he hadn't been blocking her path.
"Don't lie to me!" It infuriated him when she did this to him! He wasn't a mind reader! How was he supposed to fix the problem if he doesn't know what the problem is?
"Tell me!" he insisted.
He almost wished that he hadn't insisted when she raised her eyes. They were filled with pain. He watched as she looked at him. Then she looked at Shippo. Then Sango. Then Miroku. Finally she looked back at him. Worse than the pain, he saw shame in her eyes before she ducked her head back down.
"It's no big deal, okay."
He wanted to shake her until she confessed, but she looked so miserable that he couldn't bring himself to do anything other than grunt and allow her to keep moving.
They didn't run across any monsters or any rumors about jewel shards or Naraku. All in all, the day was pretty much a bust. But they kept moving until dark, just in case there might be some word. Strangely enough, Kagome didn't complain once about the long trek. That had Inuyasha worried.
Dinner was a quiet affair, even Shippo wasn't full of questions or tricks or demands. Instead they all tried to figure out what Inuyasha had done to cause such a melancholy mood. Even Inuyasha.
"What is your assignment this time?" asked Shippo when Kagome pulled out her journal.
Her eyes shimmered, and Inuyasha was petrified that the tears would start falling. She looked away, blinked a few times, then turned back to Shippo. No tear tracks, but her eyes were still too shiny. Her bottom lip trembled just a bit before she answered.
"I have to write another poem."
"What about?"
Inuyasha's claws dug into the tree bark as he realized that it was the assignment that was making Kagome so miserable. He wanted to pound Shippo for not dropping the subject.
"I have to write a monody."
"What's a monody?"
She cleared her throat. "Um… it's a poem that you write about someone who has died. Lamenting their death."
"Lamenting?"
"Mourning."
"Ohhh…"
The group quietly watched the fire, thinking about the ones they lost in their lives. Usually they spent all their time trying to forget. What a horrible assignment! They watched as Kagome began writing in her journal. She seemed hesitant to look anyone in the eyes. Inuyasha wondered why.
He was about to ask her when he noticed that the others were glaring at him again. Oh for… what have I done NOW?
Then he realized what they were telling him. It must be Kikyo that she is writing about. That's why she looks as depressed as she usually is when Kikyo is around or is mentioned. Now because of this stupid assignment, everyone is blaming me for Kagome being all weepy and emotional. He wanted to chew them out for such an unfair accusation, whether or not they actually voiced it didn't matter, when he noticed how intently Kagome was concentrating on her paper.
He would chew them out later when Kagome wasn't around.
Kagome wrote and erased even as the others fell asleep. Once again, it was only Kagome and Inuyasha who remained awake. Relief filled him as she finally closed her book gently. He watched as she set her hand on the front of the journal, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. When she opened them again she had a watery sort of smile.
"Feeling better?"
Kagome looked up and smiled a real smile. "Yeah."
"Finished with the poem?"
"Yeah."
He wanted to ask if he could read it. He was literally aching to read it! It was taking all of his control to not snatch the book out of her hands. When his fingers twitched in anticipation of grabbing the book he stuffed his hands in the arms of his fire rat robe. He wasn't going to get 'sat' for being curious.
The laugh caught him off guard. It was a small, sad laugh, but it was still a laugh.
"You want to read it?" she asked.
He shrugged. "Not like I care or anything."
She shrugged in return and turned to put the book back in her bag. Inuyasha ignored the giggle as he ripped it out of her hands.
"Just so you don't nag me to read it later when I'm too busy," he explained.
He waited until she turned the page to the right place. She bit her lip, leaving her hand over the page. Her eyes were serious as she looked at him.
"Don't laugh… I know it's not too good… just please don't laugh."
His stomach felt sick. "I promise."
She moved her hand and let him read her poem.
ooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOoo
There was never anyone alive
Who could have filled your shoes
No matter how much they strive
They are doomed to lose.
You were the light of love
You chased the dark away
You held the stars above
You held demons at bay.
All who ever knew you
Had no choice but to say
Nothing you could do
Could ever go astray.
Always the image of perfection
The one others hope to be
The object of so much affection
You were kindess and tranquility.
You left behind a hole
That no one can ever fill
So many hearts you stole
Death is such a bitter pill.
No other can your sweetheart love
Because nothing can compare
One day in those stars above
You love will meet you there.
ooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOoo
Emotions threatened to choke the hanyou. His heart ached. She can't believe this. She can't! When he turned towards her, she was already crying. Before he could say anything she launched herself into his arms and sobbed.
"Kagome…" he whispered into her hair.
His stomach felt even sicker. He glared at the others when they peeked at the scene near the campfire. For a little privacy, he scooped her up and took off with her into the trees. Once they were well out of earshot he set her down. She continued to rest her head on his chest as she tried to get herself under control.
He had to explain to her. For once and for all he had to lay her fears to rest. She can't go around thinking that he was pining after Kikyo! He couldn't let her hurt like this!
"I miss him," she whispered.
Huh?
"Kagome…"
"I miss my father." The words were broken as she began to cry again.
Inuyasha held her head to his shoulder and let her cry. She never talked about her father. The others, all of them, even him, all talked about the ones they loved who had passed on so tragically. He remembered the look of shame in her eyes. Did she think that by allowing herself to mourn the loss of her father that she was trying to diminish the pain of the others? Did she not think that just because she still had one parent who was alive that it made her pain any less important? What in the world is in that girl's head?
He could have asked what she was thinking, but he didn't. He could have talked to her about Kikyo, but he didn't do that either.
For the moment he was just going to hold her and let her cry.