Little Miss Disaster

History bores me. During these first five minutes, in the two hours of living hell I have to endure I've tried to eat my knee, committed mass murder against the ant community, and mentally made a map of Oklahoma on the back of some guy's head.

"Gaara? I said partner up with Haruno." the old history teacher softly said, afraid to look me in the eye.

Instead of answering I stare at him and had a long, mental talk with Inner Gaara, about what it'd be like to fuck a dead person. Not something I recommend you do. After several suicidal attempts to kill myself with a Strawberry Shortcake folder that had been lying on the floor (Hey, after wondering what'd be like to fuck a dead person and staring at a person who is almost dead you'd want to kill yourself too) I got up and walked toward the pink haired girl. She stared at me with her wild green eyes.

"Well?" she asked her hands on her hips.

I stared at her, uninterested, paying attention to Inner Gaara and the subject matter in my head.

So if you fucked a dead person would you get arrested? Is that even legal?

"Um? Hello? Hi! Still here waiting to be answered." She said, looking irritated.

Wait, how would you even screw them? They're dead! Whoa.

"Never mind. I don't need an answer."

It would suck if you were gay and you tried to like screw another guy...

"Just sit down already!" The small girl demanded.

I glared at her and made no effort to listen to her constant whining.

That'd be really hard. I'm glad I'm straight. But that's off the subject, why would you to screw dead people?

"Gaara? Hello?"

I mean think about it, usually dead people are old or fat or a mixture of both.

"GAARA!"

Oh God. Thank God, I don't wanna fuck dead people.

"GAARA?"

What a pain in the ass that'd be. Speaking of which, if I were gay I think I'd get tired of anal pretty quickly.

"GAARA!"

Then again nobody likes anal...

"GAARA! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!" A very angry Sakura screamed, looking very, well, Sakura-like.

I looked down at her,

Sea foam green eyes glinting in anger.

Gay people only do anal because that's all they can do, right?

"FINE, DON'T SIT DOWN! SEE IF I GIVE A DAMN!"

I glared and made my eyes in to the littlest, meanest slits as possible.

"I'm thinking. Don't interrupt me."

She snorted, "And I'm talking; so can I please have your attention?" she said the last sentence as if it were more of a demand than a request.

"Yeah, sure you can have it I'm not using it."

She rolled her eyes, "I hope that was an affect of your meds wearing off and not a lame attempt at a joke."

"Actually, I didn't take them this morning" I said, truthfully, pulling out a package of skittles from my pocket and opening it.

I poured a generous amount in my hand. I picked out the orange ones and threw them against the wall. The orange suck. She stared at me. Hmm. Pink Hair. Green eyes. Not something every girl can pull off, but somehow she did it without looking like a hooker, or like she was trying too hard, or just flat out looking like an idiot.

"Shall we get started?" She finally asked, staring right in to my eyes and at the same time, grabbing a skittle from my hand.

"Those are mine" I growled.

She rolled her eyes, and stuck her tongue out at me, a faded green skittle on the end of her cherry red tongue. I lunged myself at her, trying to pick up the skittle that sat on her tongue with my fingers. It was no use; she had hidden it somewhere inside her mouth.

"Haruno don't make me do this" I spat.

"Do what?" she asked innocently.

Her eyes gleaming with a competitive glow, a smirk planted firmly on her lips. I smiled at that; I'm going to love breaking that grin off her face.

"Do what?" she repeated, her smirk getting a bit wider. I gripped her head with both hands and mashed her lips against mine, instantly plunging my tongue in her mouth. Probing her mouth with my tongue, I searched for the missing skittle. I found it hidden under her tongue; I gave it a lick, coaxing it to dance with mine. As soon as it began to move I wrapped my tongue around the small treat and pulled back, her face flushed, her arms trembling, her lips swollen. I opened my mouth at her, a once green but now white skittle on the end of my tongue. She turned away from me in disgust. Hey, I just wanted my skittle back. I'm really not as crazy as I seem.