Chapter 4

Martin felt worn out with the sadness that washed over him as he woke up to a bright morning and that split second between sleeping and waking wore off and everything came rushing back at him:

Vern was gone.

Everything about the world outside his window seemed out of place, as if this life had been meant to turn out differently, but for the crash of the Solar Four.

After he showered to feel properly awake and he had got dressed, Martin went downstairs and as he reached the bottom of the stairs he saw Scott was leaving for work.

He looked back at him and sadness reflected in his eyes.

"I'll miss him too." He said, "Vern was a friend to me and I'll never forget him either."

Then the sadness lifted from his voice a little.

"But I got to have a long conversation with Adam last night. It means a lot to me, to hear about where my father came from. I need that connection."

Martin nodded.

"I know you do, it's a good thing he can give you that."

Then he looked around and wondered where he had got to.

"Where is Adam?"

"He had breakfast with me and Mom. Then he went outside."

And then Scott remembered something else.

"He said he was waiting for you."

Martin wasn't sure why but those words gave him a jolt as he thought about Adam- it was almost as if he had expected him to say that, as if he had known on some deeper level while he slept that Adam would want to see him alone that morning...

"Thanks." He said to his nephew.

Then his sister spoke up.

"Okay, I've got everything..."

And she picked up her car keys.

"You're going out?"

Martin had surprised himself at the way he had just said that – he wondered, was he nervous at the thought of being alone with Adam?

Jenny stared at him for a moment, surprised by his question.

"Yes, I have to go to the bank and I have some shopping to do, I know things have been far from normal lately but life has to go on, Martin. Adam expressed an interest in seeing the town and the stores but I think it's best if you keep him here- keep him safe. It wouldn't do him any good to attract attention."

"I know that."Martin replied, only too aware that what his sister had just said made perfect sense- Adam looked human in every way, but he knew so little about this world that it seemed wise to keep his presence as quiet as possible.

"I'll see you later." His sister said.

Then she walked out the door and Martin watched as she got into her son's car.

Scott started the engine and they drove away and Martin closed the door again.

He thought about what Jenny had said about life having to go on - he knew she was right, but to him it just didn't feel that way; everything he had been through in life made him feel as if that statement was totally wrong because life hadn't gone on, not for him, not since the Solar Four disaster...

Then Martin turned back and walked down the hall, wondering why Adam had left the message that he was waiting for him...

Adam was standing in the middle of the lawn.

He knew Martin had come into the garden and he knew he was walking up to him, but although sensing his presence gave him a warm and welcoming sensation, he could not take his eyes from the blue sky above.

He kept his gaze fixed on all that lie above as he thought about all that stretched beyond it and how fragile this planet really was...

"Adam?"

The tall, muscular man finally turned his gaze from the heavens and his dark eyes met with Martin's eyes that reflected blue as the skies.

"I watched you sleeping."

Martin felt surprised by those words:

Adam had been in his room while he slept?

"Why did you do that?"

The tattooed man who looked so strong yet spoke so gently half smiled.

"I'm not sure. But I do know that I wanted to be close to you. I decided not to wake you; I didn't want you to wake so soon and recall deep distress at the death of your friend. I've studied your memories of your first meeting with Vern – I know and understand that he is in your heart."

"He will always be in there." Martin told him, "That will never change. That's the only place we can keep the people we've lost, it's the only way to hold on to them."

Adam took a step closer and looked deeper into Martin's eyes, feeling sure that being this close to him was the best thing to do, because it was a thought that had been on his mind for a while now - that he needed to be close to this man...

"I would like to hold on to you." He stated, "In my heart..."

And he fell silent and his gaze turned back to the flawless sky as his thoughts shifted far away.

"Adam?"

He gave no reply, still looking into the beyond.

Martin put his hands on his shoulders.

"Adam!"

As he turned his attention back to him he was aware Martin was still holding onto him, but Adam found this closeness to be quite pleasant and chose not to step back.

"Why do you speak as if something troubles you?" He wondered.

"Because of what you said." Martin replied, "You said you want to keep me in your heart? You sound as if you're leaving this planet tomorrow!"

"I only have a matter of days here." Adam stated, "That is something I can't change. I must leave when the time arrives."

There was something about the way he said that; it sent a chill down Martin's spine but he wasn't sure why.

"When what time arrives? Are your people coming to fetch you?"

"No, I have an energy cell to return me to my own time and place."

And his gaze briefly shifted to the skies again, then back to Martin.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Martin asked him, "Why do you keep looking at the sky as if you're waiting for something? Are there more like you coming to Earth?"

Adam fell silent as he thought about all the things he knew and could not share with Martin; he knew this man missed nothing...

"I will miss you and your world." He said softly, "But the only time we have is now. I can't look towards a future that I do not have on this planet."

Martin searched his eyes for a hint of what Adam was trying to convey but then Adam pull him closer sharply, pressing his lips against his own and Martin closed his eyes as the man from another world embraced him, welcoming his kiss and getting lost in it as their kiss grew deeper.

It was such a human way; two people from different places, different worlds, meeting like this, embracing, becoming locked in that embrace and sharing a kiss that made them both long for more and for the moment to never end.

In that moment their difference did not matter, it was as if their worlds had collided and become as one.

Then the moment was gone as Adam pulled back from their kiss and stared at him with his dark eyes wide.

"I'm getting an urge to mate." He stated, thinking of the previous man of his own kind who had come to earth, the father of Jenny Hayden's son.

Martin smiled as his eyes sparkled.

"I think I know what you mean!"

But Adam still felt bewildered.

"I am sorry Martin – but my biological function and the purpose of it would fail. I can not give you a baby."

Martin laughed softly as he shook his head.

"That's good to know, Adam!"

But Adam still looked utterly confused.

"So why am I responding as if you are a mate?"

Martin knew for sure now; he had been attracted to this man since the day they first met. Now he was getting to know him he was caught between wanting to run his hands over his muscular body and do all the things that came naturally to him, or to wrap his arms around him and protect this innocent stranger who knew nothing of life on this planet.

"Because you like me and I like you and that's a good thing, it means we have a bond..."

Martin reached out and put his hand to Adam's face.

"I don't know whether I should love you or protect you or both." He said softly, "But I do know I don't want to let you go."

"I think my world does not understand gay." Adam stated, "But I believe that I do. I believe that I am the same as you."

Martin gently pulled him closer.

"I believe you could be right." He said softly, and kissed him again.

He took him in from the garden and up to his room.

The man from the stars needed no instruction as he took off his clothes and wrapped his arms around Martin and shared more kisses that grew deeper as Martin ran his hands over the tattoos that covered his arms. Beneath his touch they did not move or shift and his flesh felt warm and human.

Martin held him close as they lay together and he looked into the darkness of his eyes.

"They remind me of space." He whispered, "Your eyes – it's as if I can see the whole of the cosmos in you."

"And yours remind me of Earth sky." Adam said quietly, "I shall always remember you when I recall the skies of this planet."

And then he thought about all that Martin did not know, about facts he was aware of that he had not shared - and the weight of that knowledge began to feel heavy:

He had not expected for such a bond to grow with this man.

He felt as if he were learning about himself as much as he was learning from Martin's memories.

Now he felt this way, he felt as if he wanted to hide nothing from him...

Adam opened his mouth to speak but his words were snatched away by a sharp breath as Martin's kisses shifted from his shoulder to his chest and then moved lower and lower still until he took another sudden breath and tensed, taking in new sensations that he had not expected to feel.

Martin's hands closed firmly around his tattooed arms as he pinned him down and Adam breathed out slowly, losing himself in the intimacy of his kisses as those kisses moved lower and then he knew nothing but bliss and the need to surrender...

As the sun rose higher in the mid morning sky Adam lay beside Martin with his hand resting on his chest as he felt the beat of his heart and the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed easily.

"We shared pleasure." He stated, "I'm glad."

And Martin looked into his eyes and smiled.

"That's the whole point of it. Sex doesn't have to be just for reproduction – even for males and females who decide to be together. It's about sharing mutual feelings and pleasure. And that is the same for everyone, no matter who they are with."

And Adam smiled back at him, but then his smile faded.

"I am really starting to like your world." He said, but his dark eyes seemed troubled once more.

"So maybe you can stay." Martin suggested.

That ache was back in Adam's chest that he had come to understand now, this was what Martin had explained about how love could be painful:

Martin was in his heart now and his heart was aching at the thought that in a matter of days he would have to leave this world...

"I need to be outside." He stated, "I can process your memories anywhere but I refer the garden, I like it out there."

And he got up and headed for the door.

Martin watched him walk to the door and then he called his name.

Adam looked back and Martin laughed.

"Put your clothes on first – you can't go in the garden naked."

Adam thanked him for saying that and picked up his clothes.

Martin stayed in bed as he watched him get dressed.

He was still smiling at the thought that Adam had almost walked out of the house with nothing on – but as Adamleft the room he turned hs thoughts to everything they had shared he started to wonder about what would happen when Adam had to leave:

Their friendship had deepened since his arrival and thinking about what they had shared that morning partly lifted him out of his sadness at Vern's death. When he was with Adam, this man who knew so little about his world, he felt as if everything was brand new... Adam had been so surprised when he had kissed down his body and given him such pleasure – and it hadn't taken him long to return the favor, Adam had been very excited to explore his body and run his hands over him and kiss him gently as he found out how good it could feel to share such needs and affections.

Martin wondered how Adam would feel when the time came for him to leave.

It was something he didn't want to think about because he knew he never wanted that day to come...

Adam sat alone in the garden and thought everything he had shared with Martin.

He felt as if the closeness they now enjoyed was something that had gone into this own heart and it felt right for that love to be there.

Now he was coming to understand what love meant.

But he also knew much more and again he thought about the facts he had not shared with Martin:

Perhaps he would tell him later, when the time was right...

He switched off his personal thoughts about this human who come to mean so much to him all of a sudden and he touched the spinning disk that slid from is fingertip to his smallest tattoo.

And the inner world opened up and he watched Martin's memories begin to play once more:

The crew had got used to being at the training center.

The time had passed easily for the first three months as they got used to learning all about the craft and studying for the mission.

In this time Vern had stayed close to Martin and their friendship had become strong.

Adam searched through Martin's memories and drew out the facts he needed to know:

This time had been easy on all of them – it had all been about learning on paper and via computer software.

For all of this time as Martin and Vern had become close friends as they worked together, Maritsa Ivanov had also worked hard but stayed distant from her colleagues as she devoted all her time - even when off duty - to studying for the mission.

Joey Avision had muddled his way through this part of the training, understanding the ropes but not being the best at grasping the more complicated scientific aspects. He had looked forward to the weekends when he could get home to his family.

And Nick Briggs the Commander's son had continued to aggressively carry his air of self importance as he carried on insisting he excelled at everything - even when his own father had pointed out to him that his progress was not quite satisfactory...

Adam shifted forward in time again, seeking out memories that Martin considered significant, and then he found the next one:

The crew were working together on a training simulation.

As they sat in a reproduction of the main crew compartment Martin sat beside Vern and looked down at the array of controls in front of both of them.

"We can do this." He stated.

Vern smiled.

"I know that..."

And he gave a sly glance back at the others who were seated at the back of the compartment in the places they would be on the real flight – the only difference was there was a control panel beside each seat that was a replica of the panel on the flight controls.

"I'm really enjoying this part of the training." Vern said quietly to Martin, "You know how to fly this thing, I know how to program it –and it's so satisfying to see Nick finish last every time!"

Martin smiled, thinking about how the part of this mission training that involved electronics and programming left Nick so confused. Vern was right; it was good to see Nick come last when he liked to boast about how he thought he was so much better than everyone else on the mission...

Then Commander Briggs spoke through the intercom:

"Okay, I'm still not happy with this – every one of you needs to know how to program the separation from the main craft and the co ordinates to get back to Earth. This is to ensure everyone knows how to get home in case the unthinkable happens. You're on a count down from two minutes in twenty seconds time..."

"Sir?" Vern said, "Could I sit this one out? I'd like to give someone else a chance to finish in less than sixty seconds..."

"No." Briggs stated, "I'm aware this side of the job is your speciality, but I need you all together for this, Dr Vernon."

And Vern glanced at Martin who looked down at the controls and stifled his laughter.

"I don't mind coming fourth." Joey said happily.

"And I'm sure I can do better than third place." Maritsa added.

Martin was still laughing.

He knew Nick was seething over this, but he said it anyway:

"I'm happy to come second-at least I'm not last!"

Nick said nothing as he sat in position and waited for the light to flash red, indicating the beginning of the simulation.

And the light turned on.

Martin looked down at his own controls and programmed in the code for manual separation of the craft and then the co ordinates to guide the flight back to Earth.

He hit the enter option and sat back, then he glanced at Vern, who was looking pleased with his own efforts.

"I was through with this thing twenty one seconds ago," He stated proudly, "I think I just beat my own personal best!"

Martin glanced back:

Maritsa hit the enter key and frowned, clearly unhappy at not improving her speed.

"I'm just about done." Joey said as he ended the sequence, "I never remember this stuff- but there's a way to cheat- I know there's two end of code sequences for water and for land- I try and aim for land if it's a regular emergency scenario and I'm assuming there's a runway available. But sometimes I wind up far from the target landing spot!"

"How far?" Martin wondered.

Joey smiled sheepishly.

"According to the last simulation results, yesterday I landed us in the North Pole fourteen times."

Nick gave a sigh of frustration as he finally hit the enter key and sat back.

"At least I got right." He stated, "Even if it took me a while."

The lights turned up and the test ended.

Then Briggs spoke through the intercom again:

"Okay – that was a lot better for most of us even though we've done this almost five hundred times before: Vernon – 43.2 seconds, on target. Lee - 48.1, on target. Ivanov – 55 seconds exactly, on target. Avison- 59.1, you made it back to Earth. But this time you landed in the middle of the Sahara desert."

Then he paused before adding: "Officer Briggs- one minute and thirty seconds. Target not recognized."

As Nick gave a sigh and shook his head he looked down at the floor.

Then Commander Briggs spoke up again:

"Maritsa and Joey – dismissed for the rest of the day. Martin, I want you and Vern to stay and work for a couple more hours with Nick, he needs to put some practise in."

Vern's eyes grew wider as he looked towards the intercom.

"But I don't want to work overtime with him –"

"That's all." Briggs stated, and the speaker system turned off.

Joey and Maritsa got up from their seats.

"I'm glad that's over with for the day!" The slender Russian woman said as she stretched and rubbed her stiff back, "I think those numbers will stay in my head for the rest of my life!"

Joey was smiling now.

"I made it back to Earth. That's good enough. It's not as if we'll ever have to do this for real- flying is Martin's job and programming is down to Vern. We just get to do the fun stuff, Maritsa! I love outer space; I just can't wait to get back up there!"

Maritsa smiled and glanced back at the simulated flight area.

"See you later, guys." She said.

And as she smiled Vern smiled back, but she looked away and then she was gone.

Joey checked his watch and his eyes lit up.

"Erin's just got the kids home from school - I'm going to call her!"

And as he hurried out of the room, Vern spoke again and kept his voice low.

"I don't want to work with him. He hates me." He said, gesturing towards the Commander's son who sat sulking in his seat at the back of the room.

"You have to work with him." Martin said quietly, "Because Briggs won't kick his own son off the team now, no matter how many times he fails and no matter how obnoxious he is to the rest of us."

"That's depressingly true." Vern replied.

Martin got up from his seat and looked over at Nick.

"Come and sit next to Vern and watch him work the sequence in. You can do this, it just takes practise."

Nick got up and walked over to the fake control area and sat in Martin's seat.

"Okay, I'm watching you Vern." He said reluctantly.

Martin cut in, sensing too much hostility between the two of them.

"I know this is Vern's area of expertise but you have to know this stuff too. It could save your life, Nick."

And Nick Briggs gave a shrug.

"I'm watching." He said, "Let's get on with it..."

After working with Nick for almost two hours, Martin guessed he would not get any faster than he had already managed- his speed had picked up a little even if his co ordinates were way off target, at least he was reaching Earth this time...

"I think you can call it a day now, Nick." He told him, "You've improved. But I want you to work on this tomorrow. Take the whole morning and practise just like Vern showed you to. Then you can tell the Commander you've worked on the issue."

Nick got up from his seat.

"Thanks Martin." He said, turning his back on Vern, "So, what do you have planned for the weekend?"

Martin felt mildly surprised that the ice had finally broken with Nick.

"I don't know yet- we've got tomorrow off too so I might stay on the base Friday and go and see my sister on Saturday. It will be nice to get together with family."

Nick looked a little surprised.

"Your sister? I would have thought you had a wife to go home to, Captain."

Martin smiled.

He had lost count of the times people had looked at him and assumed because of his strong build and his high command position that had to be straight and he had to have a wife...

"I'm not married."

Nick guessed again.

"But you've got a girlfriend?" And then he laughed. "Or maybe you've got more than one girlfriend, right Martin? I'll bet you play around – so do I when I get the chance, I love women!"

Martin felt mildly amused by his assumptions.

"I don't have a girlfriend. And I don't want one."

And Nick laughed again.

"You don't want one?" He exclaimed, "What are you, gay?"

As he watched the conversation unfold, Vern's eyes grew wider as he wondered if Martin would forget his professional capacity for a split second and punch Nick – but he didn't do that. Instead, Martin looked Nick in the eye and spoke plainly:

"It's common knowledge among my colleagues that I have no interest in women..." Martin replied, "And my priority right now is my work. I leave my personal life at home; I don't let anything get in the way of doing my job because I've got responsibility for other peoples lives. I'm always aware of that when I'm working."

Then he leaned a little closer and spoke again:

"You say I'm gay like it's a bad thing, Nick."

Nick's eyes got wider.

"I wasn't starting a fight with you, Captain..."

Martin glared at him.

"I'll just share something with you: Actually its not a bad thing at all - but I wouldn't expect someone as ignorant as you to understand that. And by the way, while I'm keeping my mind on the job I'm learning how to prepare for a potential emergency in space. And that's what you're supposed to be doing too. I've been concentrating on my job, so I know what to do if the worst happens. I hope it never comes down to you to save us all because if it does God help us all - the only thing you seem to have been studying on this part of the course is the ass and cleavage of Maritsa Ivanov – at least when she's not looking."

And Nick's face turned scarlet.

"I don't stare at her..."

"You can go now." Martin stated.

Nick got up from his seat. He glanced back at Vern.

"Thanks for your help." He said coldly, "But it's only fair to warn you this is where your easy life ends. You won't be top of the class any more- it's my turn now. It's crash simulation on Monday. In other words, you're gone soon, Vern."

Martin saw the startled look in Vern's eyes and he turned angrily to the Commander's son.

"He just helped you, Nick!"

Nick shrugged.

"He's still useless. He couldn't handle an emergency situation. He won't last five minutes in the crash simulator!"

"Crash simulator?" Vern said nervously, "Why? What's so bad about it?"

"It's a model of the crew cabin." Nick told him, "It's an escape practise and it will make you feel like you've just been slammed against a brick wall. And you won't know when it's coming. It will just happen all of a sudden and you'll have to pick yourself up, strap yourself into your seat and separate from the main craft and plot landing co ordinates for earth. If there's a single mistake, the simulator drops down and floods with water as fast as air would run out if we had an oxygen fail on board the craft. And then we have to get out before we drown. And here's the best part: If one of us screws up, we have to do it all over again..."

Vern looked terrified.

"I didn't think it would be that bad..."

Martin wanted to hit Nick. He wanted to hit him to shut him up but he held it back because he wasn't about to risk his place on the team over this...

"If you have a problem with me, be man enough to say so! Don't take it out on him!"

Nick avoided an answer to that remark as he looked hard at Martin.

"You've never liked me because I speak my mind!"

"I don't like you because you have an attitude problem!" Martin said sharply, "You seem to think no one else is good enough to work with you!"

"You don't like me." He stated, "And if I had a say in selecting members of this team, I wouldn't be working with any of you."

And he walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Vern got up from his seat and looked nervously at Martin.

"How bad is this crash simulator?"

Martin put his hand on his shoulder.

"It's not easy and it's not comfortable but it's just a training module. You can get through it."

Fear reflected in Vern's eyes.

"I still don't like the sound of it."

Martin thought about the weekend and guessed Vern could do with sometime away from this place.

"I'm going over to Jenny's house on Saturday. Come with me; I know Scott would love to catch up with you."

"Okay." Vern said quietly, "Sounds good..."

But he still sounded scared.

Martin thought about Nick and started to wonder if hitting him was actually a better option than staying professional in this matter:

He was protective towards Vern; he didn't want his friend to be scared by the things that Nick said...

Adam paused the memory playback and opened his eyes, drawing in a deep breath and looking at the sunlit sky.

He understood now why humans were so complex; they could feel many emotions in rapid succession, love, sadness, anger...and something else, too – Adam had smiled and felt warm inside when he had felt Martin's amusement on remarking that being second on the timing exercise had been better than being last, Martin had found it funny to infuriate Nick...

He thought about the things that made Martin laugh, and he also thought about the nature of those around him who he had been close to when training for the mission.

The sun was sinking lower in the sky now but Adam didn't care if he stayed out here until it grew dark and cold:

He wanted to be inside Martin's memories and he was going back to see more. He activated the processor again and the inner world came back to life:

It was the start of a long weekend off training...

Martin woke up early to the sound of a car pulling up nearby.

He got out of bed and looked out of the window, then he stepped back a little, noticing by the nervous look on Joey's face as he parked that something was definitely going on...

He watched as Joey got out of the car.

Then he walked around to the back of it, glanced around to make sure the coast was clear and opened up the trunk.

As he helped his wife get out of it Martin put his hand to his mouth to stifle his laughter before he woke Vern in the next room:

Joey had sneaked his wife onto the base without permission?

He watched as the two of them briefly kissed and then Joey grabbed her by the hand and led her into his room and shut the door quickly.

Martin heard a bump as the two of them fell together on the bed and it knocked against the wall.

Then Erin Avison giggled and Joey's voice could be faintly heard through the wall:

"I've missed you so much!" He said excitedly, "This is great! We can do it in my bed, then my pillow will smell of you and I'll hug it every night while you're not with me..."

Martin stepped away from the wall and left his room, heading for the shower.

He passed Vern's door and paused; the door was partly open and Vern was sleeping deeply, undisturbed by the thump that had sounded through the walls as Joey leapt onto the bed with his wife.

Martin wondered how he could sleep through that - and then he noticed the empty half bottle of vodka on the floor beside his bed.

He drew in a deep breath and crept into the room and picked up the bottle, then he left the room again and put the bottle in the bag he had packed ahead of going over to Jenny's for the weekend:

Alcohol was banned from the base.

If Briggs found out about this, Vern would be off the team...

Adam opened his eyes and drew in a deep breath of fresh air; Martin's memory had been so strong he could almost feel the concern he had sensed for his friend carried through into here and now; it stayed within him and he turned and looked back at the house, the sky had grown dark and as he looked up he noticed the curtain moved slightly in Martin's room.

He understood; it had grown late and the humans knew he had a task to perform and had left him alone to work on his memory processing, but now it had grown late and Martin was thinking of him and missing his closeness...

Adam got up and walked towards the house, remembering that time had passed since these memories had played out in life and now Vern was dead and Martin was mourning his loss, so he decided he ought to remain silent about all he had witnessed so far.

Martin was still up and dressed when Adam walked through the door.

He noticed the way his dark eyes looked deeply into his own and got the strangest feeling that the more Adam learned about his memories, it seemed as if this man could see right into his soul.

Martin sat down on his bed and took off his watch.

He started to unbutton his shirt and then stopped, catching that look in Adam's eyes as he sat down beside him; he was still looking at him intently, almost as if he understood something no one else had ever reached: the pain of his loss, the pain he had carried since the day of the crash.

"What did you learn?" He said quietly.

"I am still learning." Adam replied, putting his arm around his shoulder.

As Martin saw understanding as deep as space itself in the depths of his eyes, he gave a heavy sigh and rested his head on his shoulder.

Then the two men sat there facing the window that looked out to the blackness of night and the stars that punctured it.

"Tell me what you've come to understand." Martin said to him, "You're using my memories, I need to know."

"I understand that love can mean many things." Adam replied, "And that you had to fight hard for the one you cared about. And you..."

He thought about the vodka bottle and the thoughts he had caught running through Martin's mind as he hid the evidence of his drinking.

"You hated to do it but you did it for Vern, you bent the rules? You hid the evidence of the alcohol."

Martin's head was still on his shoulder and he smiled at the memory, recalling other memories that Adam was yet to experience from his time with the Solar Four team.

"I did a lot more than that." He stated, "I stepped way out of line for that guy. And I don't regret it either, it was after the crash simulator. I hit Nick. I really hit him for what he did to Vern."

And on hearing those words, Adam's grip on his shoulder tightened as he leaned closer to him.

"I did not intend to talk about your friend tonight. I didn't want to cause you sadness."

"No," Martin told him honestly, "Remembering the old days doesn't cause me sadness, Adam. It's just the here and now that does that, it's knowing that I can't bring any of them back."

And Adam said nothing in reply as he sat beside him with his arm around him and thought about the memories he would access tomorrow; he was learning so much about this planet from this man's past that he was surprised at all he was uncovering.

But Martin's thoughts were on the crew of the Solar Four as he sat with Adam in silence and wondered if they still existed on some other kind of level.

The two men remained together, close and silent long into the night - one thinking about a past that he could learn from while the other wondered about eternity...