Author: Can't even play Kancolle because of stupidly busy schedule. At least I'll be getting my break next week. The travel time back and forth is enough to kill me. Damn I still need to hard cap my resources with the upcoming large scale event...and finish all extra operations.
I'm sinking again... to the bottom...huh...
It feels so cold...and lonely...
As long...as she's alright...then this is fine...
...I'm going on ahead...first...
I'll be waiting...on the other side...
Suveran could never forget the feeling of vanishing to the depths of the ocean. The light was fading away and it filled with her with unexplainable pain. Her body kept sinking as she tried to reach for the fading light.
"Forgive me...I won't be able...to fulfill our promise together..."
As she closed her eyes, the cold watery grave embraced her and her body went completely numb.
I want to go back...back to the surface...
Give it back...Give...it all back to me...
They left me here...she left me here to die...
I'll melt everything...on the surface...
Life and death was lonely and this fed malice. A monster was born. A monster that wreck havoc on the cold North. It was disturbed from it's sleep...never truly sank...
They left me here...to sink...in these cold loneliness...
The hatred was too overwhelming. It was uncontrollable. She remembered facing them...she remembered sinking some of them. She couldn't stop herself...she couldn't control herself. Rage, hatred, blood thirst, and malice controlled her. The monster that was her kept fighting against them. She couldn't stop herself from sinking them...
"No!"
Admiral Schwarze woke up in cold sweat. It's not even sunrise yet, but she couldn't go back to sleep. The horrible memory that slipped into her sleep...she can still freshly remember it.
"Admiral? You're up early"
Other than her, Yamato is already awake before the reveille could even be sounded.
"I couldn't sleep. I had another horrible nightmare which is my past"
"What is it about?"
"The day I met my demise...in both ways..."
"It continues to haunt you even to the present" Yamato symphatized
"I don't know how long I will last if this keeps going"
While enjoying the cold breeze and the time of dawn ending with the upcoming sunrise, Yamato stared at how worried her admiral is.
"Today's the day. How are you going to handle your old comrades?"
"I'm an admiral. I should act like one. I won't personal feelings hinder my duty"
"I see..."
She already made up her mind on what will she do once she faces Bismarck. This fact saddens Yamato.
Office...
She ate breakfast a bit late so she went to her office past nine o clock. Of course, her secretary ship isn't pleased with the admiral's lack of discipline.
"Where have you been, admiral?"
"Feeding a bunch of hungry ducks and dogs. It's hard to say no to those girls"
This is admiral Schwarze's way of saying she had to feed certain hungry ship girls before she could start her work.
"You're lucky the German ship girls will be arriving after lunch"
"..." The admiral is silent
"Admiral?"
"Huh? Hmm yeah"
This increased Nagato's suspicion to her connection with Bismarck. Other than that, she still wonders about the mysterious information given to her. The Abyssal battleship and the 'Drop'. She doesn't know why such information is given to her, but she knows it's not good.
"I have to review these documents. Nagato, I'm leaving the assignment of expedition fleets to you"
"Uhm...what about the U-boat?"
Nagato referred to U-511 who curled up comfortably on top of her desk like she owns the place. It's like she turned it into her bed
"Yuu deserves some rest after patrolling all night. Not on my workplace though"
"Roger"
With that, Nagato left to assign expedition fleets while the admiral buries herself in the documents. On her desk is a folder containing the background information of the ship girls arriving later. Before she sat down, she relocated the heavy sleeping submarine somewhere else.
"I wonder how will you react once you see me..."
She pulled away Bismarck's file and viewed the information on what she has been doing for the past five years. She's been tracking the German battleship's status ever since becoming an admiral.
"Knowing you, I doubt you'll say anything. After all...you'd be looking at a dead person"
The four fairies on her desk each read a different file of the Kriegsmarines.
"You guys remember them, right?"
Amused, she sat on her chair and sweetly asked them after bringing out a picture.
"They're going to be a part of the fleet once they arrive. That means they'll be here to stay"
"..." They made flag signals
"Of course I'm going to face them. It's only natural for the commander to greet her new recruits"
One fairy wearing a military uniform and cap jumped up and down waving her hands.
"No. I am not going to tell them the truth. Even if...even if..."
"..."
"How about the others? Well, I expect the Count to find out the truth faster than anyone else. I know her very well"
"..." The rest made signals
"I know at some point I have to tell the truth...but this isn't the time"
They worried for the admiral, but her smile reassured them she can handle herself just fine.
Later...
It's already past lunch time and the Kriegsmarines had reached the coastal waters and the shore. Their riggings were towed away by fairy crews who came minutes after they landed. Bismarck stretched her back and looked around her new base.
"Hmph! Not bad for a base!" Bismarck nodded
"Bismarck...we just arrived" Graf Zeppelin shook her head
"Bismarck-neesan is just excited" Prinz Eugen giggled
"We should go meet our admiral now" Max stretched her arms
The five German ship girls head to the Naval base, catching the gazes of the ship girls wandering about. Bismarck stood proudly while Graf Zeppelin menacingly glares at them.
"Those must be the German ships, poi" Yuudachi swallowed her breath
"T-they look a bit serious...and scary" Mutsuki described them
"Maybe they're friendly?" Fubuki hoped
Graf Zeppelin turned her eyes to them as if she heard the trio's conversation. This intimidated the three destroyers into fleeing away.
"Why don't try smiling a little bit, Graf? You're scaring the destroyers here" Bismarck jokingly suggested
"This is my default expression" Graf doesn't really care
"The only thing that makes Graf-san smile is coffee"
"That's right. It's like a sweet heaven she doesn't want to leave"
Lebe and Max also joked, but this only resulted in Graf scaring them with an actual unamused glare. While most ship girls are in awe after seeing German ship girls for the firs time, there are certain ship girls who are aware of them so they have little to no reaction.
"German battleship Bismarck..." Yamato sighed
"Are you worried?" Beside her is Richelieu
"For the admiral? Yes. It's been a long time after all"
"She can handle an unexpected reunion. Hopefully"
The first two battleships watched from a corner, neither happy nor upset seeing the Kriegsmarines, especially Bismarck.
"Admiral wants to handle this herself so the best thing we can do is watch from the sidelines...for now"
When Yamato left the scene, Richelieu followed after her.
Office...
The Kriegsmarines have arrived and admiral Schwarze has to admit, it brings a sense of dread inside her. Her thoughts and feelings wouldn't stop from conflicting.
"What would you do if you were here?"
Her eyes longingly stared at a picture of two unknown girls. One is brightly smiling while the others is just casually looking at the camera with little emotion.
"The past. Sometimes you just wish you can turn back and undo your mistakes, no"
"Yeah"
Occupying a vacant chair is the battleship Warspite. Recently, admiral Schwarze wonders why Warspite prefers to have tea inside her office. While she sat on her desk, the fairies went to comfort her, but...
"...!"
A lookout signalled the other fairies and they frantically ran in random directions and jumped to anywhere they can hide.
"Guten tag!"
Bismarck opened the office door with unnecessary force while greeting with a really excited tone. Among the five, she is the one excited to meet the admiral the most.
"Hmm?"
When the admiral turned her head around to face the Germans, they are all rendered speechless and in a state of shock.
"Oh? The Kriegsmarines. You girls are a bit early"
Admiral Schwarze stood up and face them with a somewhat callous look on her face, Bismarck could barely find the strength to speak properly...as she's facing someone she thought was dead.
"It...It can't be..." Her voice quivered
"You five are the Kriegsmarine ship girls, huh. Well let me introduce myself. I am admiral Suveran Schwarze, the admiral in charge of the Maizuru Naval district"
Her introduction is not supposed to be unusual, but it is in the current situation. Warspite, who is merely observing the situation, knows very well the admiral mustn't let personal feelings hinder her duty.
"You girls look like the type that excel in your roles. I guess your records aren't kidding. Ahahaha"
It's like she's paying no attention to their state of shock as she even joked. Graf Zeppelin sneak a glance at Warspite and she doesn't understand why the Grand old lady is acting so normally as though nothing is wrong. In fact, she suspects Warspite knows something they don't.
"They seem a bit...uhm...shocked" Admiral Schwarze felt awkward now
"Even I find it unusual" Warspite commented
Bismarck couldn't say a thing with her being affected the most. The admiral in front of her looked and sounded exactly the same as a person she once dearly knew. Knowing the others wouldn't say a thing, Graf gathered up her thoughts to speak.
"A-aircraft carrier Graf Zeppelin..."
Graf knew something is amiss and Warspite has something to do with it, but she's a ship girl who is reporting for duty to her new admiral. The others snapped back to reality and followed.
"Admiral Hipper class heavy cruiser Purin - I mean, Prinz Eugen!"
"Type 1934 class destroyer Z1, Leberecht Maass"
"Type 1934 class destroyer Z3, Max Schultz"
After the four of them had introduced themselves and saluted, only Bismarck remains. Still in shock, the others looked at her.
"Bismarck-neesan" Eugen whispered to her
"F-first...of the Bismarck class battleships...Bismarck"
There's an obvious hint of reluctance in the way Bismarck spoke with little energy, but the admiral ignored it.
"They may be difficult to handle, but they're capable girls" Warspite described the five before taking a sup from her tea
"I expect the five of you to perform your outmost effectivity. Especially you...Bismarck"
It is like admiral Schwarze teased Bismarck a bit by mentioning her. Too bad Bismarck is still to shocked to even react to the situation.
"Your rooms have been settled. Warspite here will accompany you"
"Hmm?"
"It's only compensation for using my office as your personal tea time room"
Warspite looked away, completely guilty of that. She only does that to entertain herself by annoying the admiral.
"Alright"
Before the Kriegsmarines leave the room, Graf saw a fairy peaking out from the desk for a brief moment before hiding back.
(That fairy. Isn't that...No - that's impossible...unless)
She shook her head, conflicted on whether what she should believe. As Warspite accompany her to the carrier dorms, Graf decided to speak out what's on her mind.
"Just what's going on here?"
Her question had Warspite stopped in one spot. She knows Graf is already suspicious since she knows the Germans as she fought with them a long time ago.
"Whatever are you talking about?"
"W-wha?! Warspite, the admiral looked and sound exactly like her! It's not a coincidence!"
"Aren't you just over thinking of things?"
Warspite smiled naturally and brushed off Graf Zeppelin's concerns.
"No I'm not. I know what I saw and heard. The admiral...is she really her?"
"Certainly not. That I can assure you"
"You're lying!"
"I'm not lying. You just happen to jump to conclusions"
She's always like this and Graf knows that. What the aircraft carrier hates is the way Warspite act with little care.
"I'm not imagining things. Even they noticed it. Why do you think Bismarck couldn't say a thing back there?!"
"Believe what you want to believe, but you're just wasting your time"
Graf is not typically short tempered and violent, like a provoked Bismarck...but the way Warspite responds gets on her nerves.
"I know something's not right here and you know about it"
"..."
"There's something you're not telling me and the others so I'll find out what's going on here"
Sighing, Warspite momentarily lowers her head before finding the energy to smile casually at Graf Zeppelin. As walks past her, she warned the suspecting aircraft carrier.
"Don't delve into matters you don't know. You might not like what you find"
All Graf did is look towards the old lady who walked away after giving her a strange warning...or threat. She knows for sure there's something Warspite is keeping from her and the others.
Later...
Watching the sunset with Yamato while holding a glass of beer, admiral Schwarze looked up while not saying a word.
"So how did it go?"
"Very stressing..." A fairy climbed up on her glass, but she put the little fellow down
"It's been ten years since that day"
"Yeah. It's been ten years...since I sunk"
It's like admiral Schwarze couldn't say the work "sunk" without her voice shaking a bit.
"I know I can't just pretend like it's nothing, but when I saw Bismarck looked so happy back then...I know she moved on"
"And you don't want to ruin her happiness?"
"Yeah. Life goes on. You can't just be strangled by sorrow forever. You have to do something to set yourself free of those pains"
Seeing Yamato smiled in an odd way, it puzzled the admiral. Right before she knows it, the battleship pulled her towards her chest.
"...?!"
"You haven't changed even after all these years"
"..."
Admiral Schwarze didn't say a thing. What else can she say? There's nothing to say, except...
"What's with you girls smothering me with your chests?!"
"Fu fu fu. I'm just lessening the admiral's fatigue"
"That's not how you make me feel relax!"
Since she lost focus on her drink, her usual fairy companions have finished it in a couple of minutes. Admiral Schwarze couldn't say anything and just unbelievably stare at the drunken fairies asleep in the glass.
"This 'you', admiral, it reminds me of your early days. You hate being treated like a child"
"Yeah. That was back when Richelieu was an aggressive and bold version of Nagato..."
"...And Commandant Teste-san?"
Upon the mention of that name, admiral Schwarze fell silent whilst staring at the empty glass.
"Someone who I still see as very important to me"
Without saying anything else, the admiral walked away.
"I have no plan on giving up on her...because she taught me before you don't give up on the people you love"
It's a bittersweet part of her past, but it made her smile...oddly. The memory felt warmth, but the fact a tragedy occurred to her pained the admiral.
"I know it must be hard to sacrifice your own happiness to do what must be done" Yamato gave a comment
Admiral Schwarze briefly stopped before proceeding in walking away. She knows what Yamato wants to say, but the topic is personal for her so she didn't respond.
Extra
It was a tragedy on both sides, but it already happened. It cannot be undone...nor changed. No matter how much one wants to.
"HMS Hood, Scharnhorst, and Tirpitz has been struck off the navy list so their certain information has been wiped out" Warspite enters a room bringing news
"..."
At an unknown point of time, before Suveran Schwarze became an admiral, there was great despair on her eyes. She hasn't said a word.
"You're still upset about that. I can understand that. You can never go back to the way you used to be"
"It makes me feel useless. I can't fulfill my duty...nor even let my comrades know my existence"
"I respect your reason why you want to stay dead, but I'm sure you miss them"
"Of course I do. They're very important to me...but I can't just go back...like nothing"
Warspite sat at the side of her bed, while Suveran looked outside the window, feeling the scars permanently marked on her body.
"...But I still want to do something in this war. I want to keep fighting to the very end"
Before she looked at the Grand old lady, she looked at her own hair...seeing how the color turned to a pure white color. Much like and Abyssal. Sometimes her left eye tend to change too.
"Then have you thought about my offer?"
"Yeah. I made a choice...and that is to become an admiral"
"Wise decision"
Warspite gave her a folder with a label saying it's classified information. Confused, Suveran accepted it either way.
"What's this?"
"It's your new civil registry. I had it arranged so you may live another life as a different person just like wished to do so"
"Suveran Schawarze. Wouldn't anyone be suspicious how I got in the Navy so suddenly"
"I had that arranged too so you worry not, but you do have to undergo basic training and study the Navy rules and protocols"
Just hearing it drained Suveran Schwarze of anything to look forward to. It sounds too boring for her.
"Reading books, training, and attending sessions? Fine. Whatever"
"You'll get used to it. Before I forget, the second half of your training will be in Japan...because you're going to be assigned there"
"Japan? Why Japan?"
"Yes. It's best if you are assigned to a navy far away from certain Kreigsmarine ship girls"
"I see..."
Suddenly, her voice trailed off in a saddened manner. To break off the depression, Warspite handed her the other 'package' she was carrying. Warspite prepares to leave the room so she brought it with her.
"I still have matters to attend to so I might as well give you this now"
"What's this?"
"It's your old uniform. Even if you're not going to use it anymore, it still belongs to you"
Warspite slyly winked before closing the door and waving goodbye.
"That old lady sure have a lot of surprises in her sleeves" All she could do is put off a smirk
Suveran took a look at her old uniform and smiled as she pulled out the hat that still look the same as ever. Even her clothes looked like it was recently washed.