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Chapter 4
"Paige, we have to tell you something."
Paige nervously looked up from her coffee to find Emily and Spencer standing in front of her, wearing equally concerned expressions. "Is there something wrong? Are you finally throwing me out?" she was aiming for a light tone but she must have failed, for Spencer frowned in response to the question.
"Why would you think that?"
"Oh, I was just…never mind." Paige shook her head slightly. "What did you want to talk about?"
Emily moved to take a seat next to Paige. "Hanna and Aria are coming over today, Aria called us to give us some warning this morning. We were wondering if you're okay with that."
Paige shrugged. "Why wouldn't I be? They're your friends."
"Well that's the thing." Spencer said, casting a quick glance at Emily. "They're your friends too now and we know that Hanna can be a bit full on sometimes."
"And they've been dying to see you since you got out of the hospital so we were wondering if you were up for it." Emily concluded, watching Paige's reaction carefully. She seemed to be taking the information in her stride but that could all change in an instant. "If you aren't you could always go out with one of us today."
"Um…" Paige glanced unsurely between Emily and Spencer.
"You really don't have to see them if you're not ready." Spencer said reassuringly. "We don't want to force you into doing anything you don't want to do."
"I think I'll be fine." Paige said warily. "I can stay here."
"Are you sure?" Emily asked carefully.
"I'm sure." Paige nodded in confirmation. The last thing she wanted was to seem like she was running from her 'old life', or at least what people claimed was her old life. "I have to remember eventually, don't I?"
Emily walked around the table and took a seat next to Paige. "You don't have to rush yourself. The doctor said it's not good for you. Some things will take time to come back and that's perfectly normal."
Paige nodded slowly, though she didn't quite meet Emily's eyes. "I actually have something I need to talk to you about. Something I need to ask you both."
Spencer and Emily shared a worried look before they turned their attention back to Paige.
"We're listening." Spencer said quietly, sliding into the seat across from Paige.
Paige swallowed heavily, her gaze shifting skittishly around the kitchen for a moment before she turned her attention back to Emily and Spencer. "You said that we've been friends for a while, right?"
Spencer and Emily both nodded.
"Well, I was wondering." Paige paused for a moment, trying to figure out how to word what she was about to ask, "There's a lot I don't remember from before the accident and…there's some things…" she trailed off and bit her bottom lip, a soft sigh escaping her as she looked down.
"What?" Spencer asked, reaching across the table to grip Paige's hand. "What is it?"
Paige nervously licked her lips, her gaze shifting back to Spencer. "You know, it's not even important. It doesn't matter."
"Paige, if you have something to ask us you can." Emily said quickly, recognizing that Paige was about to back away from them, both physical and emotionally. "No matter how unimportant it seems."
"It's just…I have scars that aren't from the crash." Paige spoke awkwardly. "And I-I was just wondering if you know what they're from."
"We do." Spencer gave Paige's hand a soft squeeze. "We weren't with…" she faltered briefly when Emily gave a sharp cough. "I mean we weren't friends with you when you did this but you told us that you had problems with yourself, that Ali made you do this."
"Oh." Paige nodded slowly as if that made sense and tried her utmost to hold back the tears that threatened. The idea that they'd been self-inflicted had been what had instantly come to mind but she'd tried her utmost to ignore it. "I don't remember doing this."
Emily automatically leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Paige, hugging her tightly. "It was a long time ago. When Ali was…still around."
Paige nodded and briefly closed her eyes, allowing herself to take comfort from the combined sensations of Spencer holding her hand and Emily hugging her. "I thought about it sometimes, I just didn't think I would do it."
"Paige, none of us got out of Rosewood without scars." Emily said quietly as she drew back. "So don't think that you're weak because you have them."
Paige stared at Emily for a moment, surprised that she knew what she was thinking, but something else caught her attention. "What do you mean?"
"She means that Rosewood left its mark on all of us." Spencer stood up from her seat across the table and lifted her top to reveal a faint horizontal scar that stretched from the top of her ribs to the bottom, "Car crash." She moved her hand to her collar and pushed the hem of her shirt aside, exposing a long pink scar on her shoulder, "Lunatic number one." She moved her hand to hair and brushed it back to reveal another faint scar, "Lunatic number two. I have others but I don't want to overload you with information and Emily…"
"I have enough physical and emotional scars to last a lifetime." Emily interrupted with a sad smile. "We all do."
"I don't understand." Paige said, her brow furrowing slightly in confusion. "You got these from Rosewood? And lunatics? What do you mean by that?"
Emily opened her mouth to explain but she was cut off by a brisk knock at the door. "That can't be Hanna and Aria already…can it?" she asked, getting up to walk over to the door.
As cautious as ever, Spencer followed Emily to the door and waited impatiently until she opened it. Sure enough Hanna and Aria stood there, laden with bags. Upon seeing them Hanna dropped her bags and stepped forward, embracing Emily with an excited squeal.
Emily laughed at the exuberant greeting but she returned the hug nonetheless. "Hanna, it's only been three months since you last saw us."
"Only?" Hanna echoed in disbelief as she pulled back and moved to embrace Spencer who was just pulling away from Aria. "Three months is forever!"
"I agree with Hanna, it's been too long." Aria said, giving Emily a quick hug. "We should have come before now."
Hanna pulled away from Spencer and stepped past her without another word, causing her to roll her eyes. "Of course I'll get your bags Hanna, don't wo…wait, why do you even have bags?"
"Shopping…obviously." Hanna waved her hand dismissively as she walked over to Paige who had stood up to hover nervously next to the table. She hugged her wordlessly and Paige tensed for a moment before she unsurely returned the hug. She couldn't recall being close to Hanna but according to Emily and Spencer, she was friends with her. The hug lasted longer than she'd expected but just when she was starting to get uncomfortable Hanna pulled back to look at her.
"Are you doing okay?" Hanna spoke quietly and Paige was surprised to find that she actually sounded like she genuinely cared about the answer. "Really, I mean?"
Paige nodded in response. "You look…" she trailed off hesitantly, her eyes flicking up and down. She didn't notice Spencer and Emily's expressions darken slightly. "You look great."
Hanna laughed loudly at the statement. "I never get tired of hearing that."
Not a second later Aria stepped in, nudging Hanna slightly to the side. "Can I…?" she took a hesitant step forward towards Paige, awaiting permission to hug her. Paige nodded and Aria stepped forward, hugging Paige tightly.
Slightly confused but not exactly against the so called reunion Paige returned the hug, casting a quick glance at Spencer and Emily. They were muttering between themselves near the now closed front door and didn't seem to notice the look.
XXX
"Pink drinks?"
"Oh, it's like my code for drinks in gay bars…it's a long story." Hanna said nonchalantly. "Yeah, you used to buy me them all the time back then. We used to get into a heap of trouble after drinking them though."
"What kind of trouble?" Paige asked curiously, bracing her elbows on her knees as she leaned forward. "Legal trouble?"
"Not exactly," Hanna shook her head with a grin as she recalled the details of her run ins with people she'd met in the gay bars she used to frequent with Paige. "Everyone seemed to think that I was hitting on their girlfriends…"
"You did do that." Spencer piped up from the kitchen.
"That's beside the point." Hanna raised her voice slightly to respond to Spencer before she quietened again, focusing on Paige. "Anyway that got me into a few scrapes."
"Scrapes as in bar fights?" Paige asked in surprise.
"I didn't mean to get into them and you were pretty good at getting me out of them." Hanna chuckled softly at the memory of Paige all but dragging her out of fights. "You and Em used to patch me up if I got hurt."
"So we were friends back then?"
"Are you kidding?" Hanna asked with a shake of her head. "Of course we were friends, you even helped me with the whole coming out thing."
"I helped you come out?" not for the first time Paige looked unbelievably surprised, "Really?"
"Well…you helped me realize that I was bisexual." Hanna answered casually. "I was confused for a while until you stepped in."
"Hanna, stop bugging her." Emily said as she walked in from the kitchen and placed a protective hand on Paige's shoulder, "You're going to give her a headache if you heap much more information on her."
Paige shook her head, a soft smile tugging at her lips. "I'm fine Em, really."
"Well if she starts to annoy you, you can just tell her to shut up." Emily teased, glancing at Hanna. "That's what we do."
"Hey!" Hanna exclaimed, trying to sound more affronted than she felt. It didn't work and Emily merely shook her head as she walked back to Spencer and Aria, apparently to continue whatever they were discussing in hushed tones.
"Can I ask you something?" Paige asked softly as she shuffled close to Hanna on the couch. "About Spencer and Emily?"
"Will they yell at me if I answer?" Hanna asked, intrigued by the sudden need for secrecy, "Because if they will I definitely want you to ask me."
Paige cracked a small smile at that. "It's just…did I save their lives or something back in Rosewood?"
"Uh…" Hanna shook her head in confusion. "Why do you ask?"
Paige glanced over her shoulder and Spencer and Emily before she turned back to Hanna, lowering her voice. "I just mean…they're so nice to me and I don't really understand why so I figured I must have done something for them back then to make them want to be my friends."
"Paige, they're your friends because they like you, there's no other reason." Hanna answered carefully. "But there was that one time you pulled Emily out of the pool…and the time you saved Spencer from the psycho on the train. You were already friends back then though."
"Pulled Emily out of the pool?" Paige echoed in confusion. "Why would Emily need anyone to pull her out of a pool? She's a better swimmer than me. And why does everyone keep talking about psychos?"
"Um…" Hanna's gaze flicked nervously to Spencer and Emily. "Maybe you should ask them, I don't think it's my place to tell you about any of that stuff. They'll definitely yell at me."
Paige nodded, feeling bad for putting Hanna in that position. "Sorry."
"Don't worry about it." Hanna said, placing her hand on Paige's knee. "Is there anything else you want to know?"
"You said that I helped you realize that you were bisexual." Paige said bashfully, "So does that mean you…um…"
"Liked you in that way?" Hanna finished while Paige blushed profusely. "No, no, no. Spencer and Emily would have killed me if I'd tried anything."
"What? Why?"
"Oh, um…" Hanna momentarily faltered. "I just mean because they're protective of you and they know I wasn't in a good enough place to be in a serious relationship and they didn't want me to hurt you."
Paige opened her mouth to reply but she was cut off by Spencer's voice.
"What are you two talking about?"
"Just catching up," Hanna smiled brightly as Spencer sank down onto the couch next to Paige. "I was telling Paige about when we were back in Rosewood?"
"What about Rosewood?" Spencer asked sharply.
"Nothing important, don't worry."
Hanna and Spencer shared a look that Paige didn't understand and she shifted uncomfortably between them.
"I'm just going to…" Paige stood up and gestured in the vicinity of the front door. "I'll be right back." Without waiting for a response she moved briskly towards the door and stepped outside. Closing it behind her she leaned against the wall next to it and closed her eyes. She could feel the onset of a headache but she couldn't stop the thoughts that whirled around her head. There was obviously something she didn't know, something Spencer and Emily weren't telling her, she just couldn't figure out what it was.
XXX
"Paige?"
Paige startled slightly at the whisper and looked up from the textbook she'd found under the coffee table. She hadn't been able to sleep so she'd wandered into the living room like she always did. Not wanting to wake Emily and Spencer up she'd decided not to switch the TV on and instead started to read through Spencer's law textbook.
"Emily." Paige looked up at Emily and quickly closed the textbook. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?"
Emily shook her head. "I was already awake. You can't sleep again?"
"Not really." Paige answered, leaning forward to put the textbook back on the coffee table. "I thought I would just stay up for a while."
"Come to bed." Emily offered quietly. "Spencer's still asleep because she has class tomorrow morning but you know she won't mind."
"Do I?"
"What?"
"Nothing, never mind. I'm fine here, I don't want to disturb Spencer or anything." Paige answered, wrapping her arms around herself. It really was chilly at night in the apartment.
"You won't, come on." Emily stepped forward, holding out her hand. "Please? You need to get some sleep. I know you haven't been sleeping very well for the past few days and I'm worried about you."
Paige didn't even bother to ask how Emily knew that, it seemed that she was just able to read her like a book, something that unnerved Paige to some extent. She wavered for a moment before grasping Emily's hand, allowing her to tug her up from the couch. The force of the tug pulled Paige into Emily's body and she grasped her shoulder to make sure she didn't stumble back. Emily held form however, a small smile tugging at her lips. Paige's gaze was instantly drawn to Emily's lips but upon realizing what she was doing she looked back up. "Sorry."
"It's okay." Emily responded, obviously assuming that Paige was apologizing for bumping into her. "Come on. Let's get to bed, it's freezing in here."
Paige allowed Emily to tug her to the bedroom, putting the urge to kiss her down to what Hanna had been saying earlier affecting her somehow.
TBC.