FOUR
"Turbulence isn't just for airplanes anymore"
Turbulence woke Marik, who upon waking yelled, "Who's fucking with me?" He opened one eye and saw Bakura petrified next to him. He glanced around and remembered where he was. Ryou poked his head through the opening between the seats. "I'd say he had a heart attack, but most days he doesn't seem to have a heart." Marik smirks at the comment and turns his attention to Bakura. "What's wrong? Have an accident or sum-fink?" Slowly Bakura shakes his head. "What's wrong?" Malik asked, leaning underneath Ryou. "I think he shit himself." Marik announced with joy. "Thank you for sharing that with me. That's just what I wanted to hear while awaking from a peaceful slumber." Bakura whimpers and interrupts the two. "Hmm?" Malik asks with interest. "What happened to him? Looks like he's seen Kiaba's tattoo." Marik tore his attention away from Bakura. "He has a tattoo? What's it of?" "You don't want to know." "Tell me or I will come over this seat and choke it out of you!"
Fearing what his yami would do Malik said, "He got a Blue Eyes White Dragon tattoo…" His voice drifts off. "And? Where did he get it?" "He got his member tattooed to look like it." Marik looks at his lighter half, puzzled. Ryou gags and turns away. "What? I don't get it!" He says angrily. "He means his penis." Came the shaky voice of Bakura. "What?" "He got his dick tattooed to look like the head of the Blue Eyes White Dragon and his nuts are it's arms or something." It was the first time in his life that Marik could admit that he was at a loss for words. He sits back in his seat, thinking the whole thing over. "That's just fucked up." Bakura shutters and grasps the seats. "Is it the turbulence?" Ryou asked, with a concern filled voice. "Yes." Bakura's voice was unnaturally high pitched, which tickled Marik's funny bone. "What a big baby!" "Marik, switch seats with me." 'Did Ryou just command me?' Marik thought to himself, more in shock than anger. 'Hmm. I guess those assertion classes he's taking are working…but they should have told him not to fuck with a bigger and badder opponent.' "Move your ass!" Ryou spit at him. "I'm going for Ra's sake."
"Sir, you need to take your seat." A flight attendant called to Marik as he stood up. "You know what I need? I need to put my face between your breast for at least and hour and a half." The flight attendant blushed. "You really need to sit." "Oh, I will." He pushed Ryou aside and slithered into the seat next to Malik. Ryou took a seat next to Bakura. "You okay, Kura?" He slowly shook his head in reply. "I have seen some shit. I have done some shit…but this…it's more horrifying than any of those things combined." "Aw, poor Kura!" Ryou leaned over and wrapped his arms around Bakura, though he did have a little bit of difficulty, seeing as Bakura was stiff as a board. Marik chuckled and elbowed Malik. "Check it out. I didn't know they were showing a live version of The Notebook." Malik was surprised his yami even knew what that movie is, he and Bakura usually spent their time watching the most gruesome films. "It was a good movie." Marik continued. "Y-you watched it?" "Yeah. I really liked how she couldn't remember him and everything. It taught me a lesson about Roofie usage." Malik hung his head. "He didn't Roofie her! She's got fucking dementia or some shit!" "Oh, well, that just took the fun out of everything."
Bakura began to loosen up a little bit and since Marik was absorbed with his handheld, he allowed himself to scoot closer to Ryou. "Thanks." He hissed at Ryou. "Anytime…just do me one favour." Ryou whispered. "Oh hell no! I am not going to touch you like that!" Bakura whispered angrily. Even Ryou had to chuckle at that one. "No. I want you to promise you will never stick drugs up my ass again." Bakura thought it over and found it to be a pretty good bargain. "Ok, I promise to never shove anything up your ass ever again." He realised how that sounded. "That came out wrong, uh,-" The thief turned bright read and fell silent. "I know what you meant. And thank you." "Don't count your chickens boy."
When the plane lands Ryou reaches for his bag, but Marik grabs it before he can. "What's in here?" He asks, unzipping Ryou's bag. "Gimme that!" Marik smirks and hold the bag out of his reach. "What the hell is this?" Marik holds up a small violet coloured book. "My journal! Now give it back you douchebag!" "Oooh. Testy are we? Perhaps we should read a few things." "No!" "Perhaps we shouldn't-" "Quite Malik. Okay, here we go. Tuesday, the twenty third, Today Bakura was mean to me. I thought about jacking off in his oatmeal, but he decided he wanted friend eyes today." Marik looks up from the book, a mixture of disgust and admiration. Bakura leans over the seat. "What are you reading? Hey, what a faggoty book!" "Nothing!" Ryou angrily, snatching his bag and journal away from Marik. Marik winks at him. "I'll finish the rest of it later." "Finish what?" Bakura asks, puzzled. "I was reading a romance novel." "Hmm." Bakura shrugs, pushing Ryou out of the way.
Ryou falls back and watches as Bakura and Marik head off the plane, pushing people out of the way. "He really is an asshole." Ryou comments. "Tell me about it. I have to deal with him almost all the time. Your lucky you've got Bakura medicated." "I know. I still say it was one of my best ideas to crush up anti-psychotics and mix them into his applesauce." Marik smirks as he picks up his bags. "Let's go, I don't want to leave those two alone in the airport."
They find Bakura and Marik, messing with people's luggage. "What are you doing?" Malik asked, seeing his yami holding a pair of women's panties. "Lunch." Ryou gives the pair a look, but doesn't say anything. "Oh I wanted to give you something." Bakura says, sliding over to Ryou. "Oh? What is it?" "This." He produces a little box out of his pocket. "Why are you giving this to me?" "You know…for helping me out on the plane." He says quietly. Ryou takes the box and opens it, only to find a birth control wheel. "What are you trying to say to me?" "What?" "This is birth control, Bakura." "Oh, I thought it was candy." "Put it back." Bakura takes the box and sticks it into a random bag. "That wasn't the right bag, was it?" "How the fuck should I know?" "Come on ladies! Get a move on!" Marik shouts, tapping his foot.
"I'm fuckin' hungry. Let's get a corn dog." Malik looks at Marik. "How do you know what a corn dog is?" "I watch a lot of porn." Malik decides he'd rather not get into it and follows Marik to the food court. Marik shoves his way to the front of the line and begins to order. "Dear Jesus! It smells like feet!" Ryou said, trying to hold his breath. "And people are going to eat these things?" He takes in Marik chewing on one. He smiles and mustard drips from his teeth. "He's my best friend, but that's just wrong." Bakura remarked. "I'll have a pretzel." Malik takes his order and steps to the side. 'Hey Bakura catch!" Marik tosses a corn dog at Bakura, who's not paying attention. The corn dog smacks Bakura straight in the chest, and he screams like a girl on fire.
"What the bloody hell have you done to me, Marik?" "I assaulted you with a corn dog." He grins. "You hit me with a deep fired pig penis?" "Uh, yes, let's go with that." "I've got it!" Ryou says, reaching into his bag. He pulls out a t-shirt and hands it to Bakura. "You've got to be bloody kidding me." He says, with one eyebrow raised. "What?" Bakura holds up a UnderDog tee. "You want me to wear this?" "Unless you want to walk around reeking of mustard and assholes do you?" "No!" Bakura exclaimed, pulling his tee off and putting the one Ryou handed him. "Let's just go to the bloody hotel before I kill this motherfucker and throw him in the dumpster." "I hate to say this, but I wouldn't miss him if you killed him." Malik said, looking a little hopeful.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Like what you read here? I have three other books available via: , all you need to do is search "William Kana". The adventures that you're reading here will soon be available in one collection: "Dawn of the Moron" it will be available in the fall of this year. Pre-Orders are available, contact me for more information, etc. Please note, the characters in the book will not be these Yu-Gi-Oh characters since they are property of Kazuki Takahashi.