Mimic chap 4

So uh, hi.

I'm here to deliver a chapter, as well as other stuff. I'm leaving for two weeks this weekend and I'll come back in the hols. I have a new laptop that is my own, you know what this means? TWO WEEKS WORTH OF WRITING 'COS I'LL BE BORED! Enjoy the temporary silence of me not being here, then wait for the mass of chapters, mwahahaha!

On another note. Several beautiful people reviewed this lame ass story, hugs and kisses for you guys! I've had people ask will Alice actually be a ninja? Have fun waiting suckers, mwahahaha!

On with the story!

Disclaimer: Wish I could, but I can't

Warning: Language, sassy Alice and strange Kakashi

Alice P.O.V.

I came into consciousness with a tired yawn. I rubbed away the bleariness in my eyes and sat up with a groan.

I fucking hate mornings.

I stumbled out of my bed and went to go into the bathroom that was straight ahead…..Only to smack into a wall. I blinked again and turned around to go to the kitchen. Except there were no stairs to get there.

A bit more awake, I realised that this definitely wasn't my house.

"Where the fuck am I?" I muttered as I glanced around the creepy, still dark living room I was in. The couch I had slept on had a blanket lying on it, a black in the poor light. Creeping closer I noticed a stitching in the corner. A red and white table tennis paddle. Not wait, sorry, that was the Uchiha clan symbol. Which was a fan…..I just insulted the most prestigious clan's symbol. Oops.

I snorted as I remembered yesterday's events, good memories.

I shuffled into the open doorway and glanced back and forth along the equally dark hallway. The floorboards were cold on my feet as I crossed into what was obviously the kitchen. It was a brighter colour due to the white and the glimmer of the rising sun.

"Fucking almost-insomnia," I cursed lightly. Normally I got up a few minutes before my six fifty alarm in the morning, but I usually woke up at bloody dawn and before. Joy time for me, it was seemed like summer here and that usually meant earlier sunrises. I estimated it was about four thirty to five in the morning.

Yay.

I continued my self-depressed shuffle to Sasuke's cupboards, when I opened them I groaned. What the hell was some of this food? I just stared at the packets of food that had katakana and bloody kanji written all over them. I stared at the packets for a while before picking one up and sniffing it. Before sneezing at the strong smell of Jasmine coming from it, I stared at the packet and slowly deciphered the barely remembered katakana it held. Jasmine tea huh? I shrugged and tossed it onto the wooden panel counter, why you would have something so flammable in the kitchen, I did not know.

I continued my merry search for food and hit the jackpot when I found an extremely ancient and forgotten tub of instant udon. Nearly its due-by-date, but it seemed okay. I was just a bit sad it wasn't ramen and it didn't have BBQ pork.

I looked around before I found, surprisingly, an electric kettle. Well I had seen Naruto use it before in the episodes and Sasuke was an orphan, he probably couldn't cook too well for himself. I poured water in it from the sink and settled myself down with a barely used cup filled with the Jasmine leaves. I always wanted Jasmine tea or Green tea!

When I heard the kettle begin to whistle, because it just had to be old-fashioned, I took it off its power source and poured it into the tea. Opening the top of udon and throwing the flavouring packets in, I prepared to pour the water in when a hand stopped mine.

Shrieking slightly I threw my whole body back in a spastic flailing movement. The persons hand let go when the water splashed slightly on it. Of course without the support from the persons grip, I jerked back even more and flung the boiling as fuck water up at myself.

The water splattered against my arm and up on my right cheek, I hissed slightly and fumbled the kettle before deciding to drop that god awful bitch.

"Son of a gun," I cursed as I studied the red that was slowly coming out against my whole arm and I could feel it coming out on my face. I shook the arm to distract myself and began to hum slightly hysterically as I tried to distract myself.

"What the hell where you doing?!" Asked Sasuke angrily as he spun me to face him. He grabbed my arm none too gently and began to inspect it. "It's your fault for scaring me dickwad," I said grumpily, "who actually grabs someone's hand! One that is holding fucking boiling water!"

He scowled at me, "I didn't want the stink from that crap," he pointed at the innocent cup of Udon, "floating everywhere through my house!" I stuck out my bottom lip, "poor baby Uchiha is now a house wife? Wifey is scared of getting shim's beautiful house all dirty from the commoner filth?"

He flicked my ear, "if I'm the wife you're the husband since you keep screwing around and doing nothing!" He then looked thoughtful for a moment, "did you just call me a shim?"

"Yep," I chirped. "you're a she and a him at the same time!" He rolled his eyes, "aren't you in pain from being burnt by boiling water right now?" I whimpered, "I was keeping my mind of that duckass!"

I could feel the pain that was at the back of my mind come rushing straight to the foreground. It was practically screaming, 'Alice! Alice! You're in severe pain right now! Suffer bitch, suffer! Feel thy boiling water wrath!'

I admit that I'm a bit of a baby sometimes, but luckily I had been burnt several times at home and at work. I knew what to do. I bent my elbow up to my face and began licking it lightly, saliva was just as good as cold water and I always felt better when I was the one healing myself.

"Stop doing that!" Scolded Sasuke as he yanked my arm from my face, "yes mother," I said dully. He glared at me before poking strangely gently at the wound. "Don't put your disgusting germs all over it," he began to press his cold fingers against the wound. I relaxed slightly at the cold that radiated from his fingers, Sasuke's hands were nice and cold. "Your hands are as cold as your heart Icy," I joked as he continued to inspect the burn. He hummed slightly before dropping my hand and going over to the timber cupboards to rummage through them.

"If you're going to get painkillers don't bother," I called as I began to lick the burn again. I could feel the pain ebbing away slightly, I would be fine in about an hour, that's usually when the healing process really took hold. I laughed at my wimpiness, "this is nothing compared to what I got last year," I commented aloud. "I flipped a motorbike while it was in second gear. I skidded along the ground at around thirty kilometres per hour with the bike on top of me, I broke the clutch off while I was at it! I was a dumbass and didn't wear a jacket, I got the most insane grass burn up my left forearm! It took two months to heal to this scar." I was rambling at this point and waved my other forearm at the busy Sasuke to show him the nearly invisible scar there.

Sasuke didn't bother to answer my rambles as he got tablets out of a large wooden box with other medicines, what was with Uchiha's and their bloody wood? He advanced towards me with a very suspicious looking white tablet, I told him so as he tried to make me eat it. He scoffed that I was an idiot and continued to try and open my unyielding mouth, as if he could move my super powered jaw!

"I'm not eating it!" I said stubbornly as I turned my head away from the obviously suspicious tablet. He growled slightly, "you will take these damn tablets or kami help me…" I narrowed my eyes at him as I discreetly crept my hand towards the pocket in my ninja (oh yeah!) shorts. I played with the box before sliding it open slightly, "I will set you on fire if you don't stop," I declared. He scoffed again, "you and what katon jutsu?"

I smirked at him before flicking the match I held against the matchbox in my pocket, I brushed the tiny flame against Sasuke's really flammable pyjama shirt. Which by the way, was grey…boring little boy isn't he?
He yelped and dropped the tablet before slamming his hands against the flame that was creeping up his sleeve. When he successfully put out the flame he turned back to me, "what the hell was that for you psycho bitch! Where did you get the matches from?!" I grinned knowingly before tapping the innocent looking box in my hands, "my friend's pyro habits have rubbed off on me. Kami bless that psychotic, pyro!"

I could see that Sasuke was looking a bit freaked out about my friend, but hey, he was totally awesome! He could make heaps of explosives and he showed me a video of the actually legal fireworks they had set off. It was beautiful. He was pretty cool, except for when he nearly blew his fingers off. Fail.

"What's your friend like?" Asked Sasuke curiously, I smirked at him, "what's with all the questions princess?" "What's with all the stupid names?" He shot back, "touché," I quirked my eyebrow at him, "but why would I tell you what my friends are like?" I walked calmly out the door sipping the tea I grabbed, "you're a ninja are you not?" I turned slightly back to glance at Sasuke, "killing unknown targets is what you're bred for no?"

I continued to sip my tea as I walked to the couch I had woke up in.

The tea I had was really good and normally I don't like tea all that much. I ignored the cloud of happiness next to me in favour of glancing around the streets we were walking through. Konoha was a very large village, what was equivalent to a village back home was some huts in the middle of nowhere in some random rainforest. Not bloody Los Angeles with its low rise buildings, but large acre coverage and dense population!

Several merchants were crying out their early morning wares as sleepy looking civilians began to make their way to work. Everyone seemed to walk here, not like they had a choice, there didn't seem to be any mode of transport except for the occasional horse-drawn cart. It was a nice change from the long walk to school from the train station that I did in the morning, with its disgustingly polluted streets and cars everywhere! I hated human beings sometimes.

Sasuke and I continued our silent (and slightly awkward) walk to Team Seven's training ground. Why we were leaving at six thirty in the morning, I did not know. I knew that Sasuke was a fucking moron though. I stifled a yawn as we crossed the boundary of trees that surrounded the grounds, honestly there was a path here! Why would we walk through the trees! Sasuke was definitely insane.

"Why are we here so early girlie?" I asked a still brooding Sasuke as he leaned against the tree I was now sitting under. I fiddled with the still dewy grass as I crossed my legs, waiting for Sasuke's answer, but it never came. I huffed, irritated before deciding to do my stretches. I usually did stretches for flexibility after I did some sort of training, but since it was morning and no training, I'd have to find something to do.

I stood up and began to shake my limbs to get the blood running, I slapped up my legs to warm them up as well. I did a few simple leg stretches before some arm stretches, I could feel Sasuke's curious gaze on me but I didn't turn around. I huffed out a breath before cracking my neck, I began to run around the outside of the grounds. I kept my usual long distance running pace and sang songs in my head so I could focus on something either than my burning legs and lungs.

'Disappointment haunted all my dreams-

And then I saw her face, now I'm a believer! Not a trace, of doubt in my mind. I'm in love!

Ooohhhh

I'm a believer, I couldn't leave her if I tried.'

I snorted slightly at my apparent song choice, smash mouth was awesome. Good old songs from my childhood!

I slowly began to finish my tenth lap after about fifteen minutes, at the last hundred meters, I sprinted. I was an awful sprinter unless my life and dignity depended on it, so I felt like a retard as I tried to pick up the pace on my tired limbs. I slid to a stop and instantly began to do breathing exercises to get my breath under control. Thank god for swimmer lungs, if I didn't do so much swimming, I would easily suck even harder at running than I did now.

"Damn mum and her awesome running skills," I grumbled as I walked briskly to the centre of the sort of oval. I stood in front of the three posts that I knew Team Seven first met at. I believe the posts were for practising punches and kicks on it, to strengthen the skin around the appendages or something.

Pshhh, like I'm gonna do that!

I hoisted myself onto the top of the middle log, I then flipped myself around and lay on my back across the middle one and the right one. I shifted myself back until the upper half of my body was perpendicular to the ground. I hooked m feet around the far left log and began to do sit ups. Normally I did special ones against my wardrobe at home (my room was tiny! Shut up!), but this would have to do. The distance to get to my feet was bigger than usual, the fact my legs were straight meant I could stretch the tendons at the back of my knee. The posterior cruciate ligament if I recalled from mum's nurse talk, it connected to the hamstrings which meant they could tighten and tear if not stretched well enough.

I did my rep of fifty before getting up and lying on my front, I pushed my arms up and began to do my rep of fifty push ups. I was panting and sweating by the time I finished them, I gracefully fell off the logs and lay there on my back. I stared up at the drifting clouds for a moment, I was already tired. Tch weak!

I grunted as I pushed myself up, I quickly did twenty jump ups, which consisted of jumping up, then instantly dropping into a push up and then jumping up again. I could only handle twenty if I didn't want to be tired for the training that was sure to come later on.

I finished the rep and let myself drop back down to the ground, sitting on my bum with my legs outstretched, I curled my hands around them as I leant forward. This was the start of my twenty to thirty minute stretching session, and normally it was a lot better if I had my music to listen to.

'So now I'll ask, do you like that, do you like that?

NNNOOOOO!

Something's getting in the way.
Something's just about to break.
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.
So tell me how it should be.'

I bobbed my head along to the song inside my head, some good, hard core rock was what I really needed right now. I wish I had my iPod, but I never brought it into my bag for work. Damn! I had left my bag back at Sasuke's, oh well.

I slowly began to wind down my stretches before preparing for the acrobatic part. Normally I would only do splits, but I had plenty of room and soft grass to break my fall. I slowly began to drop down into the side splits, it hurt a lot, but I manages to get the entire way down again. I grinned and whooped, point for head bitch in charge!

I rolled out of the splits since I couldn't get up out of them yet. I did some more stretches on my arms and hands before standing up. I rolled my shoulders before tilting back, I leant back until I finally let myself drop into a bridge. I grunted as I landed but remained stable, I swung myself back and forth slightly until I popped up into a handstand. I held myself there for five seconds until I felt myself collapse, I rolled with it easily since I couldn't get out of a handstand any other way.

I jingled my arms slightly before going for a run up, I hoisted myself into a handstand before going straight into a bridge from it. I felt my arms groan, but they held well. Today was a good day for me! I rolled out of it again and panted slightly, I could feel my arms shake as I tried to get up. I wobbled as I pushed myself up, I stopped though when a hand was thrust into my face. I looked up at the stoic face of Sasuke, I grinned at him before letting myself be hoisted up. I hissed slightly when I felt the still healing arm twinge in pain, I looked up to see Sasuke staring at me superiorly. I hit him in the arm before looking him up and down.

"You look like a relatively good weight," I commented as I continued to study him. He shifted slightly, "where are you going with this weirdo?" I punched him again in the arm, "I just wanted to do some strength stuff and it can only be done with a partner!" He glared at me suspiciously, "where are you going with this?" I grinned at him, "you'll see!"

Third person P.O.V.

"C'mon Sakura-chan! One date after this training session!" Naruto yelled out to an already grumpy Sakura as they walked along the dirt road that led to their training grounds. "NO NARUTO YOU BAKA!" She shrieked as she ploughed a fist into his face, he made a funny yelp as the weirdly strong fist smashed into his face. He bounced along the road once or twice before lying with his head in the ground as he twitched. Sakura growled at his comatose form before stomping down the path, Naruto was recovered and instantly at her side in less than a second.

For her credit, Sakura simply ignored Naruto as they entered the training ground from the east side. They began to look for their brooding teammate as they walked towards the tree they normally sat under. Naruto was the first to spot him.

He began to snicker, "look at Sasuke-teme go!" Sakura instantly spun around at the mention of her crush, only to gasp in horror.

Sasuke was standing in the middle of the training grounds with his arms up, a little strange, but that could be overlooked. What Sakura couldn't overlook was that girl Alice doing a handstand on top of his upturned palms. They were both shaking with effort, but Sasuke actually looked…..pleased.

He had a smirk playing around his mouth as he looked up at the upside down girl's face, he had his mouth moving as he talked. Sakura definitely felt horrified, and pissed.

"Sasuke-kun!" she called out across the grass. Both Sasuke and Alice turned their heads to see who was yelling out to Sasuke, unfortunately that overbalanced them. Sakura winced and Naruto laughed as the two fell to the ground. Sasuke was lucky enough to only fall back, Alice was unlucky enough to smash her head into the ground. She seemed to do a headstand for a moment, until the rest of her body finally caught up. Her legs flew over and she did a face plant forward. Lucky for her, Alice's landing was softened, unlucky for him, Sasuke's gut got a duel kick to it.

Sakura could almost hear and feel the grunt of air that was pushed out through Sasuke's lips. She hurried over to her teammate to help him in any way she could. After pushing off the girl's legs, Sakura tried to help Sasuke get up. By leaning over him and continuously asking if he was okay.

"Fucking hell," groaned Alice as she sat up, she rubbed her head and glanced around for Sasuke. Seeing he was in the clutches of a rabid fangirl she shrugged, "he'll be fine!" She then looked around for the source of the hysterical and choked sounding laughter. Her eyes settled on the orange form of one Uzumaki Naruto as he rolled around the floor laughing, "brings the meaning of ROFL to life," grinned Alice as she stood up. She walked over and none too gently kicked the blond, "shut up shorty, I'll bet you've done heaps of fails like that!"

Naruto stopped laughing and glared at her slightly before puffing up his chest, "the great Uzumaki Naruto would never do something so stupid dattebayo!" Alice snickered before speaking in a goofy sounding version of Naruto, "I am the great Uzumaki Naruto and I like ramen dattebayo!" Naruto frowned at her, "hey! That was mean!" Alice laughed nervously, "yeah sorry 'bout that. I can be a real bitch sometimes!"

The two sat and stood in an awkward silence, suddenly Alice clapped her hand, "well this is awkward and every time there is an awkward silence a gay baby is born. By the way we're going, we could populate the planet with gay people!" Naruto stared at her suspiciously, "where's your proof?" Alice simply waved her hand dismissively, "how did you expect Sasuke was born?"

There absolute silence for a moment, "you think I'm gay?" Asked Sasuke incredulously as he blinked at the grinning brunette from where he was still in a sort-of-but-not-really-and-not-wanting-it-embrace. She simply shrugged and bounced over to Sakura and Sasuke, "up, up, up! Let's face the day and get started!" She began to hop from foot to foot in her excitement, Sasuke gladly popped that bubble. "You do realise that Kakashi will be another hour since he doesn't care about this training?"

Sakura agreed with her crush (not like there's any surprise), "Kakashi-sensei is always late!" Naruto decided to throw in his two cents worth by nodding vigorously in agreement with his teammates.

"Aawww it hurts to realise you guys don't trust me," drawled out a voice from the tress behind them. The three kids and one pretty-much-teenager (although not in behaviour), turned around to see Kakashi casually slung along the branches of one of the trees. He didn't have his usual book in his hand, instead they were fiddling with a small scroll in his hand.

"WOAH KAKA-SENSEI EARLY FOR TWO DAYS IN A ROW!" Screamed out Naruto as he waved at the lazy jounin. He eye smiled at Naruto before sliding down, "if you check the time," he said slyly, "you'll see I'm late by two minutes." Alice laughed at Naruto's annoyed expression, "new record ero-sensei!" Kakashi sighed, "you didn't forget that last night?" She merely shook her head.

"What are we doing today Kakashi-sensei?" chirped Sakura as she smiled sweetly at her sensei, too sweetly.

'CHA YOU BETTER NOT FLICK US OFF AGAIN ERO-BAKA!'

Sakura internally agreed with her inner, Kakashi-sensei would pay if he flicked them off again!

"Hmmm well you guys will be doing laps as I take Alice-chan here to see Hokage-sama again!" Said Kakashi cheerily as he walked towards Alice. "Eww it's now Alice-chan you sick little pervert!" Cried Alice as she struggled under Kakashi's grip, he had grabbed her shoulders so she couldn't get away!

"Dammit Kakashi train me!" Snarled Sasuke as he glared at the aloof jounin. He got a shrug in answer, "I've got to take Alice-chan here to see Hokage-sama!" Sasuke switched his glare to the brunette, "great ero-fucking-baka!" Cursed Alice, "now you've got emo boy mad at me!" She shifted to look at him quizzically "if you're such a great jounin, why don't you just use kage bushin?"

Honestly Kakashi could've slapped himself in stupidity, but that wasn't cool. So he made a quick ram seal, and grabbed Alice again before she could escape, as a copy of him appeared. He eye smiled at his students, "I'll see you all soon!" Alice gnawed at his hands, "let me go! I can feel that something bad is gonna happen! You better not fucking rape me! I swear to Jashin I will set you on fir-"

The rest was cut off as the duo disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Well that was interesting," muttered Naruto as they snapped out of the stupor caused by seeing their sensei kidnap a girl. The other two nodded in agreement before turning back to the Kakashi-clone…..only to see it holding a rather large whip. He cracked it at them, "run my mutts run!"

Strange controversial Kakashi with his strange habits and his strange way of kidnapping young girls. Anyway this will be the last chapter in three weeks unless I can find wifi somewhere in the heart of hell.

Have fun chickadees!