THIS IS OUR BEST CHAPTER YET! IT'S HEAVILY BASED ON THAT ONE EPISODE OF FAMILY GUY!

THAT MEANS YOU BETTER REVIEW!

:Hakudoushi knows how to get his...okay I shouldn't have said that.:

:S. Devilin:

Why get married if you're just going to have a boat-load of issues? This was a question Hakudoushi, also known as the famed superhero Albino Lad, which had popped up inside his head when Naraku was talking on the phone with his mistress Kikyo shamelessly the other day IN FRONT OF HIS WIFE, Shirabe. Now everyone and the authoress means EVERYONE knows that Naraku is cheating on her, except for her father of course. I mean, even strangers, servants, and slaves in Shirabe's dungeon know. Has Shirabe done anything about it? No…or at least not yet anyway.

So why should Hakudoushi care? Now that our once cold-hearted, yet totally hot demon boy is a super-heroic, totally hot demon boy, and he hasn't heard any of those "wild animal noises" from their room in one whole day, he decides to rekindle his parent's relationship…even though Naraku was leaving on Mother's Day anyway (A/N: WATCH OUT FOR THE MOTHER'S DAY SPECIAL!)

Thanks to Miss Maru, also known as his unnaturally happy sidekick, Miss Gold Star, Hakudoushi acquired a relationship video for his mother and father from Best Buy. On Saturday, Hakudoushi presented this to them at breakfast…and it kind of ruined their breakfast too…

"YOU GOT US A WHAT NOW, BOY?" Naraku and Shirabe said in unison, both of them were mad. Shirabe crushed a Caucasian baby's heart in her hand and cereal spilled out of Naraku mouth.

"I got you this video, to help you be happy at the fact that you married each other!" Hakudoushi explained. He held up a video that with the title "A Way With Words in Marriage" on the box. However, none of them noticed the "XXX" that was crossed out almost completely on the sides of the box.

"'A Way With Words in Marriage'?" Shirabe read when she snatched the box away from her child. "Puddin', you know yo' daddy don't love me! He just staying her 'cause I got the bigger BOOBIES!" She wave her finger at Hakudoushi.

"Yes, I do!" Naraku stated. Shirabe and Hakudoushi just stared at him, plus maybe a few passing servants in her kitchen laughed hard while they worked, appreciating the joke that came from his lips. Beelzebub, the family Steward for thousands of generations, stopped to shake his head then exited the kitchen. Naraku was a great liar, but this was one of his moments where his Perfect Lie Meter was off.

"But mooooooooooooooooooom!" Hakudoushi whined in a whine that matched perfectly to Cartman's. "I can't sleep without you two grinding for twelve hours! Don't you want what's best for me! Think about my schooling! Think about Dictator College!"

Shirabe looked into her son's pleading eyes, then she looked at Naraku who resumed eating his cereal like a hog. It was pretty cute. She thought about it. She loved him very much, but knew that there was no way in the universe that he would love her like that back…I'm not being pessimistic…just stating the true facts.

And then she mumbled, "Ugh, this is what happens when you have HOT children…" "Alright, Hakudoushi…we'll HUMOR you and watch the damn tape…c'mon, HUSBAND…"

"Wait! I just received a text message!" Naraku said, looking down at a cell phone (that I KNOW THAT HE DIDN'T HAVE BEFORE! WORK WITH ME!)

"Yeah, a text message from Kikyo." A random servant added, grabbing the dishes from the table.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Naraku cried, knowing well that he was right.

"COME ON, SLA-HUSBAND!" Shirabe yelled, whipping him out of his chair and upstairs to their room.

----

"This is some bull…" Naraku said, lying on the bed as Shirabe put the tape in the T.V.

"You think I don't know that?" Shirabe remarked, sitting down right next to him, with her head resting on her hand. "Well, here goes nothing. Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as the Paint-Drying Tournament we had to go to in Level Three."

On the screen a sort-of familiar looking woman sat down on a couch. She looked like a professional-looking woman with her red business suit jacket and skirt, her hair in an up-do, and stylish glasses.

"Hello, I'm Doctor Vivian," She began, "and let me first congratulate you for taking this first step to a better relationship by purchasing this video."

"Hmph…" went Naraku and Shirabe.

"I'd like to start of by asking your lovely wife to LEAVE the room. This part is for men only for the time being. We'll see you in a little while."

Shirabe blinked a few times, then shrugged her shoulders. "Whatever…I was hungry anyway…" With that she left the room and went back to the kitchen. Naraku was left alone with the tape. He was tempted to turn it off and burn it until…

"Make sure your wife is out of the room…" Doctor Vivian continued in a sexy voice. Naraku sat back down immediately in wonder. Doctor Vivian removed her glasses and let her hair fall down. Naraku came to the suprising realization that Doctor Vivian was actually YURA OF THE HAIR!

"Now, do you want me to talk or do you want me take my top off?" She asked, removing her jacket. Naraku was speechless and wide-eyed.

Yura giggled devilishly. "Of course, darling…" She removed her white shirt, revealing her black bra. "You men make me soooo HOT! I hope you like big breast because mine are so big this itty-bitty bra can barely take them." (A/N: Yura's aren't that big, really…) "Do you want to see more?"

"Yes…please…" Naraku stammered in shock.

In 0.5 seconds, Yura put her clothes and glasses back on and put her hair up again, becoming Doctor Vivian again. "Well then you have to buy my next tape…" Naraku's eye were still wide, and with the same expression he went downstairs to fetch his wife.

----

"Hey, mom…shouldn't you be upstairs watching the video I got you?" Hakudoushi asked as he watched his mother eat a large submarine sandwich.

"Meh…the lady on the tape said that the wives had to get out for some special one-on-one time with the men. I think she's scolding him. After all, it IS his fault." She finished the sandwich in one big chomp. Just then Naraku came downstairs with his wide-eyes.

"You can come back up now…" He said like a dead-man. Shirabe glanced at Hakudoushi then went back upstairs to finish the video.

Even though Shirabe has no clue that the relationship tape was really porno in masquerade, her relationship With Naraku was getting better. Since they were married, she fed Naraku year-old dog food remnants and undercooked lima beans. Now she's serving him fresh bread crusts and fully cooked lima beans! Sometimes she would wash his hair for him. But, this was a difficult task, because his hair was alive and devoured every hair-care product that came near it. Once it almost ate her. Naraku was enjoying it too, but that was just to make his wife happy. He was really happy to see Yura strip for him in the comfort of his own home. He immediately asked Hakudoushi, his son, to buy the next tape, just to see Yura.

(The Next Day)

"Here dad, this is the next relationship tape in the series." Hakudoushi said, handing it over to Naraku. But Shirabe swiped it before it got to his hands.

"What, another one?" She mumbled. She looked at the price tag. "$49.99? What kind of shit—"

"Now, now, honey," Naraku said softly, taking it away from her hands gently. "Our relationship cannot be measured in nipples and dimes. I-I mean nickels and boobs. Money."

Shirabe raised a brow.

"I'll be upstairs!" He finished, dashing off to their room.

"Weird." Hakudoushi and Shirabe said together. Shirabe went upstairs shortly after him.

As she opened their bedroom door she said "Naraku, why are you so—" She saw Naraku sitting on the foot of the bed naked with the remote in his hand. He saw her and quickly grabbed a pillow from behind him.

"GAH! THISPARTISFORTHEMEN!" He screamed. Shirabe quickly shut the door, looking surprised.

Later that night, when Naraku was fast asleep (Dreaming about Kikyo and Yura of course.), Shirabe took the tape and watched it in a room down the hall. She watched the two tapes she had so far (Naraku requested for the next copy) in it's entirety, including the so-called "Men's Part"…

The next afternoon, Shirabe sat on the table in the kitchen, next to the new tape Hakudoushi bought for him. Hakudoushi himself was at the table, too, counting money his momma refurbished him with. When Naraku came in he only saw the tape on the table. He grabbed it quickly and hugged it. And then ran back upstairs. Shirabe didn't make a move…

…Yet.

----

"How 'bout some whipped cream…" Yura said. This time she was on a bed with random aphrodisiacs and seasonings spread out on the sheets. She sprayed some whip cream all over herself.

"Oh… that's always good…" Naraku said to the screen.

"And some cinnamon…"

"That's good too…"

"And guess what? I'm going to now add…"

"OH! If she's says Mrs. Dash I'm going to lose it!"

"NARAKU I'M ASHAMED OF YOU!" The screen went from a totally naked Yura to Shirabe in a bathrobe.

"AHHHHHH!" Naraku shrieked.

"I know what you've been doing and I'm very disappointed in you! I had to dish out over 150 bucks to Hakudoushi!"

"Oh…usually porn stars usually don't turn back into you until AFTER they finish." He said to himself.

"These tapes are about rekindling our relationship, not male fantasies! If you wanted to see a woman acting nasty," Shirabe started to take off her robe and her tone of voice became very sexy. "You should have told me…" She revealed to him the very skimpy " Gothic Lolita-esque" black and white lingerie she wore. You know…stuff you see in THOSE kinds of magazines.

"This is hot!" Naraku exclaimed. His interest was now peaked when she struck a sexy pose.

"Look over there…" She pointed to the left. He turned left to see her standing right there in the same pose. Naraku freaked out and tried to cover the screen. Shirabe just smiled lustfully at him.

"SHIRABE! THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! I DON'T KNOW THAT WOMAN! SHE MEANS NOTHING TO ME!" He stammered.

"Naraku it's okay!" She said, going up to him.

"Yeah?"

'"I was only trying to be sexy for ya!"

"Aww, c'mere, darlin'!" He swept her off her feet and gave her a long kiss. While they were kissing Naraku grabbed the remote and tried to rewind back to the "You should have told me part" about three times.

I will fast forward this to around midnight. Naraku and Shirabe were getting into it for five hours so far. Hakudoushi was satisfied and slept blissfully through all the moaning and screaming and panting. Albino Lad has once again saved the day…um, marriage rather.

But no…this isn't really a happy ending.

To Be Continued.