Thank you all for your continual support on this story. This chapter maybe a little testing for some individuals but just bear with me pleeeeeeeeease; it sort of twisted its way out of my mind. Kagome's character is that of a sharp-tongued, broken-hearted, confused stress the confused part, angered, dejected twenty-one year old, with all the love in her heart that anyone could imagine.
NOTE: She is not her normal Happy kagome take all the bull-crap self and hang her feelings to dry in order to please others.
I have also watched the series from the beginning to the final act and trust me there were some episodes, I just wanted to reach in the television and slap some sense in her for allowing Inuyasha to treat her the way he did; yet she loved him just the same. In this story however, she still loves him even though he left her for Kikyou who died, (yea me clears throat) he still ignores her obvious feelings for him and runs around with other women; it would be sad if she wasn't angry or hurt that the only person, she loved and wanted, no needed in her life didn't feel the same way she did.
So Kaycee I am sorry if she is a bit harsh but given the situations, I am going to put her through she couldn't be anything less. I hope this helps a bit, don't worry it will all get better soon. (Laughs evilly). Thank you for your thoughts on the matter it means a lot, seeing that you went through all the trouble to post it. ^.^
Nuff love, out for now.
Disclaimer: All Rights reserved to the lovely Rumiko Takahashi.
^.^All I own are my crazy ideas ^.^
Confusion of the Heart
"Kagome!" A voice screamed high-pitched forcing her to cover her ears tightly with her hands. She turned trying to find the direction the voice came from. Only to be shoved into a ball of purple light that glowed in the growing darkness.
"Kagome!" The high-pitched voice now seemed to surround her as the darkness closed in killing the purple light. Kagome slowly removed her hands from her ears and stood up, she tired to speak but her voice refused to come out. She stared wide eye into the darkness trying to make out something, anything that would tell her where she was but it was no use. She couldn't even see her hands that she held up to her face.
"Kagome" The voice whispered into her ear, its hot breath fanned against her earlobe. "You hold on to the past let it go child or the pain will remain forever."
Images flashed before her of the past, images of Inuyasha and Kikyou long before she was born. She saw it all. The love they held for each other, the plans they made together and the promises that were broken. The betrayal of their love due to Naraku's deceptions and his greed for power. The death of Kikyou, Kagome felt her pain and the need within her soul to be loved, to be normal and to just be a woman. Images began to flash before her this time it was Inuyasha as a pup alone in the woods hiding from the villagers that wanted his life. Kagome saw a child that was scared, lost and needed the warmth and comfort of its mothers love. The images of Inuyasha disappeared leaving an image of Sesshoumaru and his quest for power.
"Look closer little one, look." The voice whispered in her ear. Kagome tried to speak but her voice was lost within her. "What should I look for, I see….. Hurt if that's even possible with that bastard." She thought to herself, her eyes were now fixed on the image of Sesshoumaru as a child.
"Don't be so quick to judge on out ward appearances, what matters the most lies beneath skin and bones; it is the spirit that dwells with us that makes us who we are." An image of a young Sesshoumaru, struggling to be what was required of him as he was the only hire to the thrown. There were no exceptions he had to be perfect in all aspects of the word. It left no room for childhood joys, for happiness, laughter or love. To train a child as a emotionless being to care for nothing but power and dominance over all that had breath.
"People and Demons alike are not what we perceive them to be, the past holds our true selves that we discarded long ago, but our youthful days, still dwells within us, despite the cold exterior we show to others."
The voice echoed from around her as a glowing ball of light shot out of the darkness to be absorbed into Kagome's chest. Kagome fell to her knees instantly upon the impact of the ball of light. Her breaths were labored, a stabbing pain shot through her body forcing her completely to the ground the feeling of something piercing her skin pulled her voice from deep within her; as her screams echoed though the empty darkness.
"What is this." She whispered in pain as her body began to bend unnaturally.
"Don't fight it; it will make the transition worst."
"Transit-"
"Shhh don't try to speak just listen and rest. It wasn't by chance you came into this time or was it chance you have these powers locked inside of you. Nor was it coincident that you came in contact with the sons of the dog general. You have long served your purpose here, yet you cannot return to your own time. For there is something more that you must learn, to truly know what you are and that which seeks to be freed from inside of you."
Kagome fought to keep her eyes closed as she was told, the voice was now close to her ear and she felt the pressure of a body on top of her.
"Don't fight me, I mean you no harm." The voice whispered in a soothing manner.
"I am simply here to set you free." It laughed lightly. "The hardest part is for you to forget the pain of the past and accept the gift the kamis has given you."
Images of Inuyasha flooded her mind the hurt, pain, betrayal, neglect; every time that he broke her heart came back with the emptiness of the pain she knew too well. Oh how she just wanted to be loved, to be needed by him once more, yet she was the shard finder, now there were no jewels to be completed, so he had no use for her in his life. What she could give for Inuyasha to tell her how much she meant to him, how much he wanted her in his life now and forever but reality was cruel; her heart sank lower into the shadows of pain feeding nutrients to her broken heart.
"Why Inuyasha!" Kagome screamed at the clawed hand that lodged itself within her abdomen.
"Why!" Tears rolled down her check as her body went numb. "I love you, didn't that mean a thing Inuyasha. I forgave you even though you broke my-" Her body glowed bright purple with shades of pink as a bright white light shot from within her. Kagome was no more, forever lost to the world that would never stop for her, that continued upon her absence, upon her death.
"Don't forget the journeys that you've faced for they are the tools that will help you grow. Never forget the people who you've met; those who are worth remembering and those lost within the depths of the mind, for despite their intentions the experience gained is worth remembering. Never harbor hate within your heart, it is too easy to hate than to give the gift of love. Remember the good things in life and see the good in people before you judge them because of their appearances. Open your heart my child." The gentle whispers faded into the dead silence of the darkness. Kagome tossed and turned in her bed her mind being pulled from the land of dreams to a reality she wanted absolutely no part of and would rather live with knowing.
"Inuyasha" She whispered as her hands slid across her abdomen that was still intact; the feel of fine silk on her skin that seemed to be wrapped around her body. The hard stone littered ground was soft as feathers. The musky air of the cave was crisp and fresh the growing brightness of the cave wasn't possible as she was far from the entrance to receive such warm light; something was wrong with this picture. Her eyes snapped open instead of a semi dark cave, it was a large enough room which had a written desk with a few earth tone cushions arranged neatly around it. A large mural of a place and its surrounding lands with a giant dog took up much of the space to the right wall. Kagome slowly inched herself up on her elbows and was in awe at the beauty of the room. Huge bay windows that went from ceiling to floor which over looked what seemed to be a garden from her position on the floor; the rays of the sun danced across the room tinting it a warm golden hue. Kagome unwrapped her long legs from their silky confines and made her way to the window to peer outside. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight before her. It was nothing she had ever seen before, not even the modern day replication of a place garden came close to it. "It's beautiful, I must be in heaven." She exclaimed as she traced her hand across the sun kissed window.
"That it is" A deep husky voice rang out from behind her. Kagome was in shock for she knew the owner of that voice; she was now face to face with none other than Lord Sesshoumaru.
"Sesshoumaru!" She gasped at his form as if he didn't already know his own name.
"Miko you will ready yourself for the mornings meal." All Kagome could do was nod. This was not the Sesshoumaru she was use to. As soon as Sesshoumaru left a cat demoness entered the room with bathing supplies.
"My lady." She bowed "I am Aneko and I will be your servant." Anger boiled within her green orbs but Kagome was still in a state of shock to notice.
"No….no, no you don't need to address me as such kagome is just fine, just plain old Kagome." She nodded her head in agreement at her statement.
"My lady I will do no such thing, my lord has instructed me to address you as such and I will do just that. Now if my lady would follow me, I would like to have you ready before the morning's meal.
Kagome nodded in agreement and went to the writing desk and collected her bathing supplies from her bag that she had seen earlier.
The rage in Aneko was boiling, her Lord has once again brought a nigen filth into the palace, though she loved lady Rin and would protect the girl at all cost and understood why her lord would allow her to stay. She couldn't think of the reason for the being now standing before her to even see the western lands let alone be within its walls and so close to her lord's chambers for that matter. Aneko hoped it wasn't for the reason she thought and was praying to every kami that it wasn't.
Kagome stood in front of the crimson hair demoness. Aneko was two inches shorter than Kagome with almond shaped eyes that boasted a lovely shade of green with pale skin that embodied the word and all its meaning. Her hair was cut short and framed her face. She was beautiful yet there was a strain on her face made it hard to see past it.
"Is there something wrong?" Kagome asked with concerned laced in her voice.
Aneko was fuming." Who the hell does this nigen filth think she is, to be concerned with a demon such as myself? The nerve of these lowly creatures." Aneko thought to herself as she stared in to deep ocean blues with her forest green.
"It's nothing my lady right this way." Aneko walked quickly out of the room forcing Kagome to run after her. "Can't even keep up with a single stride, she has no business being here." Aneko murmured darkly.
"Could you slow down a bit?" Kagome called after the figure that disappeared around a corridor. "What the hell is her problem, when since being nice to someone was a cruel thing ahh." Tension was building within her; the hazed memories of a dream that seemed so real filled her mind. A deep sigh passed her lips as she closed her eyes and let her aura fan out searching for cat demoness. Kagome soon found her she was three corridors down turning left. "Relax, just relax." Kagome tried to calm herself as she took off following Aneko's aura and soon enough after running down a few corridors she saw the back of the red haired woman.
"Why did you even, no forget it, I don't want to know." Kagome walked passed her and headed in the direction of the hot spring. For the love of her, her powers were sharpened and she could sense the movements of the smallest creature. She ran so fast to catch up to Aneko and yet she wasn't tired. She didn't even want to afford the demoness the pleasure of her rapid breathing because there was none to give. It was now clear to kagome that the demoness didn't like a single bone in her body and she really could careless. Kagome stood in the bath house in awe at its beauty. Aneko followed behind kagome and watched her as she looked around the room like an infant seeing something for the first time.
"Pathetic filth" Aneko murmured before roughly ripping the clothes from Kagome's form. Kagome could feel the rage building within her; first she behaves like she killed her cat or something and took offense to her kindness, throwing it back in her face. Then she ignores her and walks out on her leaving her to chase after her like a crazed animal; altering the palace that a human was running through its corridors and a miko at that. Now she has the audacity to be ripping her clothes from her form in such a manner, while degrading her humanity on top of it. She didn't asked to be born into the world but here she was, so why the hell all these shady demons and humans a like couldn't get over her existence and get a life for crying out loud.
Kagome half growled at Aneko. "Leave!" she ordered coldly. Aneko's eyes widen marginally at her orders with coldness only her lord could execute.
"No my lady, I have a task to do and I must do it. She spoke with a slight edge to her voice.
"Leave!" Kagome's voice bounced back and forth off the walls, her body now glowed a light shad of pink infused with purple. The air around her began to hum with the energy fighting to be freed. Aneko felt the pressure against her body as if she was being pushed. She quickly stepped away from her lady who was glaring daggers in her direction.
"I don't need your help; I am well suited to do it myself. My grandfather always said if you don't have anything good to say then don't say anything at all. Now leave this nigen filth wants to cleanse herself." Her riki was now flaring and liking at her skin. Aneko stepped back even further her gazed fixed on the women before her.
"Enough." A deadly voice growled. "Aneko leaves us." Sesshoumaru spoke; his voice was chilling to the bone.
'Yes my lord' she bowed before disappearing from their presence closing the door behind her. She knew that she would be punished for her actions earlier.
"She is a miko, why didn't I sense her powers earlier. How could I not have sensed it, it was suffocating just being around her for that short period, just who is she." Aneko whispered to the howling wind.
"The Lord's chosen mate" Sato smirked at the look that was painted across her face. "Tsk, tsk, tsk, the poor uninformed being. Well Aneko let me be the first since no one has told you."
Aneko looked at him rage clear in her green eyes. "It doesn't concern me." She said irritably
"Then why use that tone, clearly the Shikon no tama miko has done something to offend you, is that it? Sato leered at Aneko's trans like state.
"She is the shikon miko, then-"
"Your tongue and your head are safe where they are for the time being, but forget it not when I tell you she is more than what meets the eye, and is the future lady of the western lands, if she doesn't decide to purify us to hell and back. Ha ha ha ha ha.. Sato laughed mockingly before disappearing into thin air."
"Bastard." She spoke as she ran her hand over her arm that felt the miko's powers as slight as they were; the thought of purification chilled her to the bone.
Xx
The rage that was building within her was suffocating as it filled the room.
"Why did you bring me here?" she snapped at the being now standing before her, her yes narrowed to tiny slits.
"I wish to court you' he said plainly without a hint of emotion in his chilled voice. Kagome's mouth gave way to gravity.
"You wish to what! Why would you, your human hating Sesshoumaru Lord of the Western lands, or are you." This must be a dream. Kagome nodded to herself as she sat down. Sesshoumaru could see the confusion on her face from miles away and spoke.
"This Sesshoumaru wishes to take you as my mate, I find you worthy of me as I am of you." He stated pointed as he closed the gap between them.
Kagome's cheeks were now a warm shade of pink and for the love of her, she couldn't help but blush like a love struck school girl at his words and wondered the reason, her powers would yield to the sound of his voice. She stared into golden orbs that reminded her of her unrequited love. Would he be anything like Inuyasha, was there some demoness out there she should know about. On the flip side Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru were like day and night, could she will her heart to trust him, to accept him as hers, the most emotional deprived being in all of creation. Could she actually spend the rest of her days with a block of ice such as him or was there another side to him that was waiting to come to the surface. It was too much for her to take; she needed to get out of there and fast. Sesshoumaru the demon who tried to take her life more times than she could actually count; the demon lord who wiped out an entire race of demons for his names sake, no there was something off about the situation she was now in. Why the sudden interest in her after all these years. Kagome stared into his liquid gold orbs with confused ocean blues.
"Can I have time to process all that you have said?" Kagome spoke softly; to have felt so powerful before and feel so defenseless at the sound of his very voice was something she didn't like one bit but really didn't hate it either.
"Very well." Sesshoumaru looked over her form before leaving her to her thoughts. Kagome sighed in relief at his retreating form. She soon stripped herself of her clothes and sank in to the hot spring allowing the warmness to radiate through her body.
"I can't stay here." She whispered to herself. "I just cannot, something is just not right."
She sighed at the thought. How she wanted to believe all the sweet words that escaped his lips, he was Inuyasha's half-brother after all. Having her heart ripped out by Sesshoumaru would just kill her; to open her heart to the unknown was something she wasn't ready to do just yet. No leaving was the best idea she got so far but she couldn't exactly get up and stroll out of the palace gates without drawing attention to herself and alerting Sesshoumaru. Who was she kidding that plan would never work. It was always run from the problem or sweep them under the rug than face them head on, maybe just maybe if she wasn't so busy running from the pains of her heart she would have noticed that Inuyasha's heart was never hers in the first place. That it belonged to Kikyou, no it was far more acceptable to blame it on life and his man whore tendencies; yet the thought of being with Sesshoumaru excited her more than anything ever had. Then again Sesshoumaru was obsessed with power and expanding the boarders of his lands to actually let anyone into his life let alone his heart. Did he actually want a life time commitment with her or was this kind of thing seasonal and by autumn comes around she would be thrown out with the summer's breeze. Leaving was up for thought although running away didn't solve anything.
"Come on kagome get it together." She spoke softly to the empty room as she began to cleanse herself of all impurities. It was relaxing just being in the bath house the feeling of security, the high ceiling with large windows which gave the room a natural glow. To plants of various sizes and blooms that gave the bath house an outdoor feel.
"Ahh yes, that's the spot" kagome relaxed allowing the warm water to take control of her aching joints. "Mom would love this" She murmured to herself oblivious to the world around her.
"Hn" was all it took break her sleep induced state. Kagome snapped her eyes open to see Sesshoumaru's half naked body emerged in the water across from her. The feeling of dread rolled down her spine like beads of sweat.
"No, no, no, this is not happening!" kagome screamed in panic, trying her best to cover her naked form, like he didn't already have a good look at her back in the cave.
"Woman seize this behavior at once." Kagome's mouth snapped shout at the sound of his voice. What came next just didn't sit too will with a confused, broken-hearted woman in her position.
Hope you all liked it so far...^.^