~What Baby?~
A/N: Hello to all you gorgeous/handsome people out there. Did I mention that I love you? In case I didn't I'll tell you now…I LOVE YOU ALL! Each and every one of you! To prove it, I'm giving all those who reviewed/favourited/followed special shout outs!
Im The Sweet – Wow, I'm incredibly thankful for your support and how you took time out of you day/night to talk to me and run through some ideas I had bottled up in my crazy head! I'm really happy that you suggested some ideas and reviewed! :) Thanks for following.
Nightcat Mau – My long lost twin! How I love you dearly! Your continuous support during SP: The After Years and Collection of Songfics makes me want to give you a big hug! Having a fellow author like you available and ready to talk to makes my experience of being on all the more greater! Thank you so much for constantly filling my stories with reviews and amazing compliments. You're like my big fanfiction sister! :) Thanks for favouriting and following too!
NarahSelson – So glad you loved Chapter 2! Your review made me grin wildly and you telling me to keep up the good work boosted my determination to get writing again. Thank you! :)
EJ26 – Hey there EJ! Can I call you EJ? Probably not but I'm going to anyway ;) Thanks for reviewing EJ. Glad my work made you laugh and smile – always nice to hear that from a reader. Thanks heaps for telling me to keep up the good work, it makes me feel like I've set a standard for my readers and I have to keep that standard up to scratch which is great! Keeps me keen to write more. :)
Guest – Hey there Guest. Thanks a bunch for reviewing – well appreciated and I'll take your suggestion on in a later chapter! Thanks :)
PhobbyWriter – HEY PHOBBY – THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING AND DO NOT WORRY, IN SP: THE AFTER YEARS SUMMARY IT SAYS I HAVE GHANITH SO I WILL HAVE GHANITH. DO NOT STRESS PHOBBY, THERE WILL BE GHANITH AND THAT IS A REMINDER FOR EVERYONE WANTING GHANITH IN THIS STORY. SERIOUSLY GUYS, I LIKE GHANITH IF I SAY ITS GOING TO BE IN HERE, ITS GOING TO BE! :D
Naenae00 – Hey there, really glad you loved Chapter 3! Thanks for reviewing and stick around for more! :)
Lidz12345 – Thanks for your reviews. They were short and simple – loved 'em! Keep connected so you can stay tuned for more :). Thanks for following.
– Thanks so much for favouriting and following – I love getting those notifications :).
Harrison-Potter-Malfoy – Cheers! You've favourited and followed SP: The After Years, so thankful you did that! :D
Laura 394 – Thank you for PMing me your lovely compliments and your suggestions (even though they were for Collection Of Songifcs) and for following SP: The After Years! :)
Valkyrie: Excuse my language, but holy crap that was a lot of writing. Geeze FlawD, next time just dedicate a whole story to thanking your readers! FlawDiamonds doesn't own anything and she doesn't say she does! Besides Harvey and Audrey, she owns them!
Audrey: Enjoy! Send suggestions if you want too, FlawD takes them on board! WARNING: This is rated T for a reason – mild cusses here ladies and gents!
What Baby?
Ghastly stared down at his phone in shock, he couldn't believe what Valkyrie's message had entitled! He found himself grinning like a mad man at the thought of him being an uncle or – or a godparent.
'How exciting!' He thought to himself as he got off his couch, threw on his grey suit jacket, snatched his keys off the bench and headed out the door before anyone could even call his name.
The reverberating sound of Tanith's vibrating phone on her bedside table awoke her from her afternoon nap with such a shock that she flailed her body about and hit her head on her bedside table.
"You flippin' idiot Tanith!" She scolded herself while nursing her sore forehead. For a whole minute while Tanith pressed her palm to her head, she glared at her phone before grudgingly picking it up. Once her blurred vision made out Valkyrie's name she immediately sat up.
"Flippin' flamin' flamingos! Audrey! Fletch! Wha-Ho-Whe-Holy crap!" Tanith scrambled out of her bed and quickly changed into something clean. A simple white t-shirt and a brown leather jacket. Her motorbike keys resting in her pocket she gave herself a quick spritz of her favourite perfume that smelt like lilies. She knew Ghastly would be there, knew he'd be in the waiting room with her and Val and Skulduggery. The least she could do was smell good when she had to be in close quarters with him.
"You're getting distracted Tanith! Hurry up and get your sexy lil' British ass out the door!" She already found herself walking towards the door hurriedly and jogging down the many stairs of her apartment building. She grinned once she was outside and caught the sight of her wonderful, gleaming motorcycle.
"Just got a text from Ghastly, says he'll be here soon. Tanith shouldn't be too long either," Valkyrie told Skulduggery while watching him activate his façade before stepping through the hospital doors. She smiled as Harvey wiggled around in his arms before asking to be put down. Skulduggery complied grudgingly with a frown on his handsome face. Valkyrie had to admit, the full body façade was extremely useful for certain things, but it was annoying that the faces still kept changing. Valkyrie would have to get Skulduggery to talk to Doctor Nye about it. See if he could tweak it and make a few changes.
The glass sliding doors opened automatically for the three strolling into the hospital and they went straight to the reception desk where a lady in what seemed to be her mid-thirties sat there popping gum. Valkyrie felt Skulduggery shake his head disapprovingly and she quickly have him a nude in the ribs to make him stop. The lady had heavy blue eye shadow and bright pink lipstick that were stuck in the deep creases of her mouth. Valkyrie wanted to cringe when she opened her mouth to ask them what they needed and saw that her teeth were stained yellow from nicotine. She didn't smell very appealing either, it was like they lady wore "cigarette" as her fragrance.
"Uh, yes, hi," Valkyrie began, "We're here for our friends. Fletcher Renn and Audrey Tenacious, Audrey's pregnant and last time we checked up Fletcher said that she was still dilating," Valkyrie gave the woman a quick smile.
The woman just sat there for about a minute or so just annoyingly chewing her gum loudly. Valkyrie glanced down and read her name tag, 'Joy?…puh-lease, this woman is anything but,' Valkyrie smiled at her amused thoughts.
"Woman, you don't think I don't know that Auburn-"
"Audrey," Skulduggery corrected, which awarded him a glare from Joy.
"Whatever her name is, is pregnant and is still dilating. Girl, I saw them come in here,"
Valkyrie's mouth hung open in shock. She couldn't believe how rude this woman was being. "Okay, look, sorry. We're just in a rush to see them, they need our support – we're their best friends," Valkyrie tried to give talking politely to Joy one more time.
"Woman, do I look stupid? You don't think I didn't realise you were their friends? Are you saying I'm stupid!?" Joy growled out in a wheezy smokers cough.
"Oh for heaven's sake! We're not saying anything like that, can you please just let us know what ward and room they're in?" Skulduggery rushed. Joy stared at him for a moment or two before shrugging.
"I don't get why y'all are yellin' but, just go up this hallway, turn right, make another right and then turn left. They're in room 15."
Valkyrie and Skulduggery stared at her incredulously before answering. "What ward are they in?" Skulduggery questioned.
"Does it matter? I gave you directions to their room, so it doesn't matter. Now move along, you've taken up enough of my time." Joy sneered at them as they walked off and followed her directions.
Once they were out of ear shot, Val turned to Skulduggery with an angered expression on her face. "What a rude and intolerable woman!" She exclaimed. Skulduggery nodded along with her, agreeing completely. He took her hand in his and rubbed his thumb over her hand, comforting her and calming her down slightly.
"Don't worry Val, I couldn't believe her either. Amazing how people like that can get jobs," Skulduggery wondered. He watched Valkyrie nodding before he felt someone tug on his right hand. He smiled down at Harvey.
"What's up Harv?"
Harvey Pleasant grinned up at him and jumped up and down. "Are we seeing Auntie Audrey and Uncle Fletcher!?" He squealed delightfully before having to be "shushed" by Valkyrie and Skulduggery.
"Yes we are little man, they're having something called a baby. Do you know what a baby is Harvey?" He asked sweetly.
Harvey looked up at his dad like he was stupid. "Yes I know what a baby is dad, it's a small person that lives in everyone's stomachs." Valkyrie wanted to roll on the floor laughing but somehow managed to keep it to a small giggle. Skulduggery chuckled along with her before looking down at his son again.
"A baby doesn't live in everyone's stomachs, Harvey. A baby can only live in a girl's stomach, it can't live in daddy's stomach," Valkyrie told him with a smile, "do you know where babies come from Harvey?"
"Harvey grinned up at his mum before nodding. "Yeah! Our teacher told us that once the babies have grown enough inside someone's stomach, they get put into the ground where they grow inside cabbages."
Skulduggery laughed at his son's response while Valkyrie just looked slightly confused. "Babies growing out of cabbages sounds a lot like the Cabbage Patch Kids," Valkyrie mused. What was Harvey's kinder teacher teaching them?
Harvey looked up at Valkyrie, confused. "What's a Cabbage Patch Kid – " Harvey asked while they rounded the corner. Valkyrie didn't have time to answer him though because he took off running towards a man slumped over on couch in the waiting room. Harvey latched onto his leg excitedly and the man with the ridiculous hair looked up with a look of horror before realising who it was.
"Harvey!" Fletcher exclaimed while scooping the kid up in a big hug. "Oh and look! You brought along your mum and dad too! Well done kiddo," he said to Harvey while giving him a hi-5. When Harvey wasn't looking, Fletcher glanced up at Val and Skul with a distressed expression. "I need to talk to you!" Fletcher mouthed over the top of Harvey's head. Skulduggery nodded while Valkyrie gave him the thumbs up. Valkyrie walked over to Fletcher with Skulduggery in tow before leaning down to talk to Harvey.
"Hey Harvey, do want to come see the candy bar and some of the stuffed toys they have here, so daddy and Uncle Fletch can have some time to talk?" Valkyrie asked her son. Harvey nodded and already had started pulling Valkyrie towards the candy bar. She swung her head over her shoulder to find Fletcher and Skulduggery watching after her. She saw Fletcher's worried face and she smiled inwardly when she saw Skulduggery's shoulders sag.
'That's right Val, let him deal with everyone's crap once in a while,' She thought happily to herself.
"Skulduggery, I am freaking out!"
"I know Fletcher, Valkyrie told me all about it. I don't get why you're flippin' out so badly though," Skulduggery told him.
Fletcher looked at him as if he grew a second head. "You don't understand where I'm coming from!? Surely you must have felt like this the first time your first wife went into labour!?"
Skulduggery thought about it for a moment with a thoughtful hand on his chin. "Not really, it was a simpler time back then, you didn't the medication and facilities like hospitals do now. You just kind of got there, relaxed and hoped for the best. It was a lot better relaxing and not stressing about being a dad or about the birth or your wife. The experience for me was almost enjoyable," Skulduggery slightly grinned at Fletcher.
Fletcher's mouth hung open like Skulduggery had just slapped him across the face. "Why is it only until now that I realise I am totally speaking to the wrong person about this?" Fletcher asked more himself than Skulduggery in disbelief.
Skulduggery just have him a pat on the shoulder and looked at him seriously. "Now that you've come to your senses, is there anything else you'd like to talk about? What are you really worried about Fletcher? Is it Audrey? The birth itself? The baby?"
Fletcher snapped his head up to look at Skulduggery so fast, it looked like he got whip-lash. "What baby!?" Fletcher almost yelled, that old panic rising up in him again. Skulduggery wasn't sure whether to laugh or be seriously concerned. Either Fletcher was playing a joke on him or this pregnancy/birth business had gone to his head and now he was insane.
"What do you mean, "what baby"!?" Skulduggery slowly said to him. "What other baby could I mean Fletch? Yours and Audrey's baby, your baby!" Fletcher looked crestfallen at Skulduggery's words – it was like he was being brought down back to Earth.
"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you," Fletcher said so weakly, his voice was at a tiny squeak. "There is no baby."
Skulduggery felt like doing a double-take. "No baby!? WHA- HO- WHAT do you mean there is no baby!?"
"I mean, there is NO baby, Skulduggery! More like babies!?"
Skulduggery stood there stiffly, just blinking while the information set in.
"When we were told that Audrey had babies in her stomach rather than just the singular baby, I kept my cool, didn't think it was that much of a big deal. I thought two babies was going to be a bit difficult but nothing myself or Audrey couldn't handle. I honestly thought that maybe having just one would be a bit breezy, that I would panic now but when it came to it, it'd be fine. Then two came into the picture and the panic rose another level but then here comes the clincher, we actually aren't having two babies, we're having triplets!? Triplets!? Can – can – yo – you, believe it, it!?" Skulduggery watched Fletcher the entire time he was spinning out of control. Skulduggery had to admit, hearing the news that you were having triplets was enough to make any man's knees shake but if you are truly dedicated to being a father, no, a dad, you would take on ten kids or a hundred.
"Wow Fletch, I'm not going to lie, it does sound like it's going to be a handful with triplets but c'mon, we all know you'll make an excellent dad no matter how many kids you have. Audrey is always going to be there for you too, don't forget her. Or us in a matter of fact, myself, Valkyrie even Ghastly and Tanith, we're your best friends – we're here to babysit and help out when we can too. Just calm down a tad Fletch, things might not turn out as bad as you're thinking they will –"
"Ah! Sorry we're late! We met at the doors and talked for a bit but then we had to deal with that bitch at the reception desk," Tanith exclaimed with her arms opened wide with Ghastly smiling next to her. Tanith wrapped her arms around Fletcher then continued to Skulduggery and waited while Ghastly followed suit until she started talking again.
"So," she started off, rubbing her hands together, "what baby are we going to be having soon?" Tanith meant it light-heartedly, just as a way to see and find out if Fletcher and Audrey knew the sex of the baby but she hadn't been here for the whole "what baby!?" thing.
Skulduggery face-palmed while Fletcher paled instantly and started to stammer again. "Ba-baby? Wha-what…baby!?"
"Oh I'm so glad you came," Skulduggery drawled out sarcastically, "Fletcher and I were just talking about the fact that he's not having a baby that he's actually having babies. Three, exactly, triplets, actually."
Tanith's face broke out into a huge smile before wrapping her muscly arms around Fletcher again. She jumped up and down a few times which didn't make Fletcher's pale appearance seem any better.
"Triplets!? Fletcher that's great! Audrey must be so happy! Oh, and congratulations on your sperm and whatever genetics you must have runnin' through you because triplets on your first try? Talk about AMAZING!" Tanith grinned like a girly teenager while Fletcher's face fell when Tanith mentioned his sperm. He literally just wanted to crawl up into a ball of panic and die there. Ghastly approached him and slung a burly arm around his shoulders.
"Don't worry about Tanith – she's just really excited to be an Auntie or a godparent. But seriously man, great news about the babies!"
"No! It's not great news!" Fletchers eyed Ghastly absurdly. "I'm panicking over here! I won't be able to keep up with triplets, n-no way-way Ghast!"
"Sure you will! You've got us, your friends, to call and you've also got a loving and dedicated girlfriend who is soon going to be having your triplets. You're not alone in this Fletch, don't ever think that you are." Ghastly told him softly. The poor lad literally seemed terrified of what was to come. Fletcher cast his eyes downward.
"Maybe you're right guys, but what if –"
"No buts Fletch! Or what ifs." Tanith told him sternly.
"If thinking about it is what sets you off then we won't mention anything about what baby again, does that sound good to you?" Skulduggery asked him.
"Yeah, that would actually be a lot more helpful, thanks guys. You really know how to put me back into place." Fletcher's voice was barely above a whisper, but they all heard it.
It was those kinds of moments that Fletcher realised just how great his best mates really were – even though they were more dysfunctional than Jesus in Hell. A British woman who could run up walls, a scarred tailor, a façade-wearing skeleton, a pregnant adept, a fallen world-destroyer and himself, the last teleporter who was extremely paranoid and had awesome hair – what a crew though. He didn't even want to think where he would be without any of them.
And with Valkyrie walking over with Harvey to greet them all and chat, it just seemed to complete the picture. Harvey ran straight for Tanith and Ghastly and after Valkyrie had given her hugs to them and said hello, she took up her position beside Skulduggery.
"Everything alright on your little trip to the candy bar?" Skulduggery asked. She smiled up at him with a loving gleam in her eyes.
"Yeah, it was fine. He had a little spat but once he set his sights on Ghastly and Tanith, he got over it," she told him. He chuckled and nodded at her.
"But enough about my riveting and compelling adventure, I've missed out on some stuff. So tell me Fletch, girl or boy? Which one is it, what baby?"
They all groaned.
~THE END~
Harvey: Hey there! It's Harvey and I just wanted to tell you that I'm insanely cute and adorable but also funny so you may want to review so you can see more of me! Hehe, FlawDiamonds hopes you enjoyed this chapter of SP: The After Years!
Fletcher: If you want to see more of my hilarious antics and panic-attacks – REVIEW!
FlawD: You know what would be really great? If ya'll REVIEWED! :D xx
Tanith: Myself, FlawD and the rest of the gang will be seeing you all next chapter, but only if you REVIEW! You know what you have to do ;) See you next time, :)