So i'm a year older and getting drunker today! Decided to release this chapter as the first original bit that ISN'T Harry just hopping into Canon.
Once again I tell you I do not own Harry Potter and if I owned Saints Row, i'm pretty sure Aisha and Carlos would still be alive god dammit!
so drop me a review because I did so love the ones I got for my last chapter, seriously, you guys are awesomesauce. Love y'all~
"Unf, come back to bed, Harry!" Shaundi mumbled sleepily as she buried her face in the warm pillow where her partner for the night used to be. Harry, however was busy getting his clothes back on because his phone had just beeped out another anonymous text. He sighed and ignored the new message as he slid the phone into his pants pocket and quietly left the dark room. Shaundi would be pissed Harry had ditched her but he would have to deal with that later, his current issue was getting outside. The penthouse was a space exclusive to the Boss and his generals, including Harry, but it also painted a target on the exit for the Morningstar should they enter the Saints' turf.
:GARAGE IS CLEAR. GET TO THIS ADDRESS. MONITORING SECURITY CAMERAS.: Another text, Harry was quick to give the nearest camera a dopey grin as he politely flipped off whoever decided to annoy him at 3 in the morning. When he got out of the elevator that took him down to the garage, Harry dug through his pocket and found the keys to his baby. Harry's ride was like all of the Boss's cars, totally customized for him. The sleek Raycaster was built like a tank but with more elegant curves, able to take turns like a dream, and the iridescent paint job made it shine in a shifting blue-silver shimmer. He had followed up the paint job with a series of geometric decals and custom rims that produced kneecapper spikes when Harry wanted to deal some damage (thank the lord for Rim Jobs!). Harry had named his car Vector, and she was the only woman Harry would ever be monogamous with, at least according to Pierce.
"The greatest of the old school, Radio Gen-x!" Harry tuned out the radio as he drifted around a tight corner, one hand on the wheel, the other tossing a grenade casually out the window to deal with his police tail. So he was pissy about being woken up, wouldn't you be? It only took him a few minutes to get near his destination, but just to piss off his mystery host, he was content to keep egging on the police in the area, drifting around the streets with his radio now on full blast. Harry sang at the top of his lungs as he tossed more grenades out of his window, throwing one into a mailbox just to piss off the postal workers. His harmless fun was cut short however when the police decided to all turn on the spot and head away from the area, making the young man pout.
:I SCRAMBLED THEIR DISPATCH, STOP PLAYING AROUND!: Another text and Harry swore he would flog the person determined to wreck his fun! The raven haired wizard sighed as he finally pulled in to his destination, an old warehouse with a garage around back and a view of the waterfront. He hopped out of the Vector and made sure she was parked in a well-hidden spot before kicking at the garage door yelling, "I'm here! What the fuck do you want?"
"Would you quit yelling? I just need to speak with you for a moment", a mousy voice said from the other side of the door before the metal garage gate opened and Harry met a pair of blue eyes.
Before Harry stood a mousey woman about his age, with long dull red hair, pinned back in a tight bun but with a few stray locks hanging around her freckled face. She was short and thin, wearing torn blue jeans and a jacket that quite clearly showed her as an FBI agent. Harry looked at her carefully for a moment before deciding he would listen to her, if only to flirt with a cute nerdy looking girl.
"My name is Kinzie Kensington, FBI intelligence agent. I have need of someone like you Harry."
"In bed?" Harry asked with a gin which made Kinzie wish to smack him.
"No you idiot, I need someone unrelated to the bureau to help me in taking down the Deckers and outing the Morningstar Syndicate as a criminal corporation!" She said so quickly Harry had to take a moment to comprehend just what words she had spewed all over him.
"Okay, so let me get this straight." He started, "you want me, specifically, to help a fed with taking out a group of nerds with guns because you want to cripple the Syndicate? You want me to help you despite knowing you would just as soon turn me in and have my ass locked up as well as the rest of the Saints, so I would just have to go on faith that you would not betray me. Do you think I'm an idiot?"
"Yes, everyone is an idiot to me though," Kinzie shrugged, "I think you would be crazy enough to do it though, otherwise I wouldn't have bothered texting."
"Damn, and I thought you just liked my shining personality and beautiful smile. Alright, I'm in, lets get to work." And that is how Harry and Kinzie's odd relationship began, Harry teaching Kinzie how to defend herself without a laptop in hand. Kinzie showed Harry a few hacking tricks and tried to introduce him more thoroughly to technology.
The Saints didn't question Harry on his comings or goings as he helped Kinzie out and they didn't bother asking who the redhead they saw him with every once in a while was. That is, until Harry was spotted walking out of Kinzie's warehouse shirtless while she stood behind him with a small smirk and wearing her FBI jacket to cover her naked torso. It was rather unfortunate that this was seen by two Saints grunts, which caused a rumor to quickly jump through the grapevine that Harry was an FBI plant. Before the raven had even made it back to the penthouse the Boss and his other generals had already been glaring at their phones, each other, and anyone passing by at how they had been played.
"what's up gu-?" Harry's sentence was interrupted by every molecule of oxygen in his lungs being knocked out of his body from one punch courtesy of Shaundi. The others leapt up and everything swam before Harry's eyes as they kicked and punched at him for quite a while with no words being exchanged. Harry would ask what the fuck was happening but the only thoughts that were running through his brain were, -FUCK!-, and, -THIS HURTS! PAIN! PAIN!-, and of course the odd observation that Shaundi's legs were as sexy as they were dangerous. The world went black as Harry began to cough up his own teeth and blood, except for the one molar that had now lodged itself in his throat when he tried to gasp in pain. Before he could even cough on the stuck tooth the Boss finished the beating with a kick to Harry's throat, and the world went silent.
"So far my count for you in this world is 32 shots to vital areas, 3 stabbings, 47 internal bleed-outs from car wrecks, 4 poisoning attempts, 8 beatings, and oh yeah, one death by Genki. I love that crazy lil kitty", Death ticked off casually as Harry woke up once more in the purgatory he vacationed at, but this time he wasn't alone with Death. Sitting in a lawn chair next to a sunbathing Death was Kinzie in a skeleton motif bikini sipping a martini with horn rimmed sunglasses on. Harry would ask where the extra stuff came from, but with Kinzie and Death it was easier to just accept it, plus they both looked damn good in swim-wear.
"They shot me walking out of the diner next to my warehouse of solitude, guessing you got a warm welcome home?" Kinzie asked as Death snapped his fingers, putting Harry in a black speedo with little skulls all over it and letting another lounger rise from the sand. Harry sighed as he laid on the comfy lounger and sipped at a glass of cognac, "yup, tooth lodged in my throat before the Boss kicked it into my jugular. Death, how long will it take to go back this time? Also, how has Kinzie not moved on yet, are you slacking on the job?"
"No my dear master, Ms. Kensington was not fated to die as she did, therefore she goes back with you, but by sending two of you back I need to wait a little longer so your bodies can repair themselves." Death explained and Harry took it at face value, clinking glasses with Kinzie.
"So then, what to so until then...?"Harry quirked an eyebrow with a charming grin that never worked on Kinzie's socially inept self, but that Death understood immediately.
(I omit the sex for now because I would go way too graphic and probably get this fic flagged, there will be later sex scenes I promise)
Two rounds and many moans of passion later and a sweaty Harry smirked in satisfaction as he untangled himself from his two partners in the sand. Death simply sighed in lazy acceptance as he smacked Kinzie on hr pale freckled bum playfully, making the girl squeak.
"See ya soon Death, probably real soon." Harry bid the force of nature farewell before both he and Kinzie were blinded by a flash and Steelport regained it's residents. The two of them woke up and found they had to tear their way out of trash-bags before digging themselves out of the nasty mountain of refuse that was the Steelport waste management facility.
"Okay, I have good news and bad news for you Kinzie, which one comes first?" Harry asked as he helped tug her foot free of a clingy rusted bicycle.
"Bad, I'm a pragmatic realist." Kinzie shrugged as they started making their way to the gate that led out to the street, neither caring that they were covered in trash. (Well, Harry was pissed, but he wouldn't take it out on Kinzie.)
"The bad news is that the Boss knows that I can come back, so they will eventually come looking for me again. The good news is that they don't know about you coming back with me, so you are free to nab a new identity, hit up the image as designed, and walk back into the FBI to request witness protection" Harry explained with a shrug as he pulled a younger man out of a passing Attrazione, flipped him over his shoulder, then get in the driver's seat. Kinzie slid in next to him and the glare she was giving Harry would haunt him more then Voldemort's eyes ever would it was so scary.
"The fuck I am! Not only have I not taken out the Deckers and exposed the Syndicate, I just got killed by the people I was hoping I could eventually trust. If you're on the run from the Saints then I'm sticking with you, besides, you're too stupid to leave on your own." She explained simply making Harry pout, which of course was met with indifference as always.
First things first, Harry decided, they needed new clothes, guns, and some more help that could be trusted besides the Saints, in that order. After robbing Leather and Lace (Kinzie knew where the store was on instinct), the two of them were dressed in the very latest of sexually appealing clothing. Kinzie was wearing a leather corset, tight leather pants and black skull-crusher boots (Harry had learned her safe word was teacup when he saw her new outfit). Harry himself was in black leather pants that were sinfully tight in all the right areas, a long-sleeved black mesh shirt, and several chains on his belt loops.
"Ok, we are once more sexy as all fuck, time to get guns."Harry said and remedied their armament situation by running over a group of police officers on his way to crashing their car through the front of a Friendly Fire. Kinzie groaned, wondering how bad the insurance premiums would look before remembering it wasn't actually their car, and started grabbing as much ammo as she could carry.
Dressed, armed, and ready to recruit, the two sociopaths were off of the main streets before any of the Saints could catch sight of them. They stuck to underpasses and alleyways to get as close as they could to Kinzie's Warehouse, knowing that they would need her computer if they were going to find anyone willing to help them. The duo was driving as inconspicuous as possible, pulling a U-turn or backing the car into an alley and shutting off the lights if they saw any purple cars in sight. The radio was turned off and Harry was twitching in aggravation as another Saints patrol passed through, this was starting to piss him off more then a little.
The trip to the warehouse took three hours longer then any other time Harry had made it and to make matters worse the two of them would need to park further out to hide the car. With pistols in hand and determination set on their faces, Harry and Kinzie did their best to stick to the shadows, ducking from spot to spot as they kept their eyes open for approaching vehicles. When they finally had their backs to the garage door of the Warehouse they found it padlocked and Kinzie without her keys, so Harry boosted her up on his shoulders until she could scramble onto the roof.
"I'll get the door, stay out of sight", Harry just gave her a look that said "obviously" before hiding behind a nearby dumpster. It wasn't long before a crashing sound was heard from in front of the door and Harry saw it open to reveal Kinzie, holding the biggest dildo Harry had ever seen!
"That is going nowhere near me." Harry said plainly, edging away from the pink monstrosity that could double as the most humiliating weapon ever. Kinzie simply shrugged and tossed it back behind her, the laptop she so treasured securely tucked under her other arm. With the computer in hand and no Saints in sight the duo made a mad dash for the car, and were off the lot right before two bright purple Gravediggers burst onto the scene. This was the night the Saints would wish they had caught the two on time. The night where they intended to capture, not to kill, in hopes of apologizing to the young man they killed and the FBI intelligence agent that was only trying to help. This was the night where Harry started to build his own gang, with the brilliant Kinzie Kensington as his second in command.