I'm really, really sorry I didn't update…I had a lot of stuff going on, and then I was too lazy…Anyways, thanks to all the beautiful people who read my story! Especially the person who MADE the video, it made me so happy!

R & R!

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Seto Kaiba was, usually, not one to care about other people and whatever the hell they were doing, as long as it didn't affect him, his brother, or Kaiba Corp.

This, however, wasn't an exception. He heard from Mokuba, who heard from Joey, who heard from Tristan, who heard from Duke, who heard from Ryou that Bakura and Marik were getting together. Naturally, Kaiba's first instinct was to run around screaming with joy and happiness. But, being the CEO of the largest company on Earth, he didn't.

Why was he so happy that 2 complete psychos were starting to screw? He made a mental list. (Kaiba loved making lists; it was his passion. Once, a guy got him into bed with a simple list of reasons why they should get together):

1. It'll save him much stress; because, if ever there is a tournament or something, one of them will be there, torturing, and murdering, and generally being insane.

2.It'll save him money. If they'll be busy together, perhaps they'll stop asking for funding towards starting an international company, running for president or stuff like that.

3. It'll save him money.

4. No more stress.

5. He could watch it all blow up in their faces, which could be moderately amusing.

6. They were two complete psychos who want to take over the world; he wanted to know if they would become 'romantic', and 'lovey-dovey'; and, failing that, other things he could use as blackmail.

You got to admit it. It was not a bad list he was building up.

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Malik and Ryou were sitting in someone's room. Who, they had no idea. Judging by the black and pink walls, posters of Jesse McCartney and Hillary Duff, stuffed teddies and pictures of a cute boy with lipstick marks all over it, it was probably a teenage girl. Ryou was absentmindedly hugging a pillow shaped like a pair of lips, and Malik was using the girl's makeup to make himself look prettier.

He held up his hand, where glittery lilac nail polish…glittered… on his nails. "Does this bring out my eyes?"

Ryou sweatdropped. All of his best friends were insane. "Yeah, sure." He refrained from adding "Whatever," for politeness' sake.

"Anyway," Malik continued, chewing his lip as he carefully applied nail polish to his other hand. "Remember our plan?"

"Which one?" Ryou asked. He saw what he was hugging, squeaked and dropped it. "Ew, that's lips. Is it the museum one, the president of America one, the World War III one or the Bakura and Marik one?"

"The Bakura and Marik one. Although, about the museum one, I can't make it this night, me and Marik are planning a shadow duel with the Pharaoh, and he's planning to spend the night after that partying. How about Thursday?"

"Nah, no good. Bakura's planning to get drunk then, and I need to bail him out of jail. So, what about Bakura and Marik?"

"Well…" Malik shifted uncomfortably. He waved his hands a bit to dry the nail polish. "Marik doesn't seem to enthused about it. Actually, he's been bitchin' and bitchin' and bitchin' non-stop. What if he doesn't go for the dating? I don't want to force him."

Ryou sighed. In truth, it was bothering him as well. Bakura was starting to like Marik (as a fellow psycho to torture and maim innocent people), but so far, nothing more. "Urge him. Just try. And either way, at least they'll become friends."

Malik swore under his breath as he accidentally messed up the nail polish. "Uh, no. Friends is bad. Friends is putting all their half-baked insane ideas together to make fully baked insane ideas. Then the point of our plan would be-"

They froze, and stared at each other. "What WAS the point of our plan?" Ryou finally asked.

"…I have no idea." They stared at each other, then simultaneously shrugged.

"Whatever."

"Screw it."

"Let's just force them to go through one more weekend, and that's it," Ryou said, then yelped, finding himself clutching, once more, the lip shaped pillow.

"Which glitter should I use; the dark gold, or the lighter gold shade?" Malik asked, holding up the glitter. Ryou sweatdropped once more.

Fifteen minutes later, Cassie Jones came home from her homecoming dance to find the room wrecked, her posters written over (with nice phrases like "THIS BAND SUCKS" and "SCREW THEM, THEY FUCKED ME OVERTWICE!") and her favourite lip-shaped pillow GONE.
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Marik smirked sexily, and brought up a hand to 'subconsciously' play with his hair.

"Wanna come over to my place, babe?" his acquaintance drawled, while flicking his cigarette ash towards a random person's eyes, who screamed in pain and started writhing in agony on the floor.

"Can't; partying tonight. How 'bout next week?"

"A'igh," Jason leaned in and kissed Marik on the lips for a few seconds. "Kill a few innocent bystanders fo' me, will ya?"

"Like always, you bastard," Marik smirked and punched Jason playfully. He grabbed a shot of vodka, and chugging it, made for the exit. That is, until he crashed into a certain somebody with snowy white hair.

"Bitch," he spat at her, and pushed her to the floor. He continued on his way to the door, unhindered besides the countless people he stepped on, shoved, spat on, fought briefly and/or traded e-mails with; finally he stepped out of the door. Or would have, if he hadn't crashed into a certain person whose name started with 'B', ended with 'A' and had "Akur" in between.

They stared each other down, neither of them saying a word. "What thehell are you doing here?" Marik finally ventured.

"What do you think, dumbass?" Bakura scoffed. "Who was the green haired s.o.b?"

"A friend."

"Do your friends usually try to eat your lips?"

"Go fuck yourself," Marik said. "What the hell areyou doing here?"

"This is a bloody bar, you pyro," Bakura snarled, and Marik got the usual warm, fuzzy feeling he got whenever somebody called him 'pyro', 'pyromaniac', 'psycho' or 'bastard'.

"Thanks," he said, probably confusing the thief, but not caring at all. He suddenly got an idea. He stared at Bakura, and grinned, cocking his head. "Tell me something. Have you ever been to a partybefore?"

"A party? Hell yeah."

"Not a party. A party," Marik smirked. Bakura looked confused.

"Aparty?"

"Fuck yeah," Marik grinned. "All you need to have is some alcohol, chips, and some strobe lights. Meet me at the park at midnight. And lose the ring, will ya? Unless you want it to be lost."

Bakura just blinked.

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Midnight. The moon was shining, the owls were hooting and Marik was standing there waiting for Bakura.

"Asshole," he muttered under his breath. He picked up the cases of sake and cognac, and the chips, feeling oddly disappointed.

He hadn't even taken four steps when he heard the obnoxious voice he'd been waiting for.

"Hey, not leaving yet, are you, dumbass?"

Marik smirked and turned around. "So you came, did you? And here I thought you'd chicken out. Brought the stuff?"

Bakura showed him the five or so bags of chips, three cases of vodka and beer, and eight battery operated strobe lights he had on him. Marik sweatdropped. "…Whoah."

And so they got going, with Marik leading the way, Bakura demanding to know where they were going, Marik insulting him, Bakura insulting him back, and so on and so forth until they got there.

"We're here!" Marik announced. "Finally." Bakura muttered, but Marik shot him a glare and ignored him. He looked at the building in front of him with pride. Besides him, Bakura was finally figuring out where they were.

"Are we where I think we are?" Bakura asked. Marik rolled his eyes.

"No, we're in the wonderful land of Oz." He remembered Malik force-reading the book to him. It was the most horrible torture he's ever experienced.

He should tie up Bakura sometime and torture him with Dorothy and Toto and the wonderful Wizard sometime. Maybe next weekend. He'd tie Bakura up in his basement, where no one ever went, and was filled with tasty rats, in an uncomfortable chair, with his pet weasel who ate human meat, and-

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Meanwhile, Bakura was trying to get Marik's attention. "Oi!" he yelled right in Marik's ear. Nothing. He slapped him. STILL nothing!

Marik was thrown out of his trance as a rather large bucked of water was upended over his head. "Oi, what the hell? Where the fuck did you get that bucket of water?"

"I'm bloody magic," Bakura rolled his eyes. Marik rolled his eyes too. "But, seriously, why are we at the Pharoah's and midget's house?"

They were, as stated, at Yami's and Yugi's house. Or, more specifically, in his backyard, crouching along the lawn ornaments, like stupid dwarves and pink flamingos.

Wait…if they were in a backyard, weren't lawn ornaments in the back yard, technically, back yard ornaments?

Marik sat down and pondered this. Logically, they shouldbe called back yard ornaments, but, of course, their officialname is lawn ornaments, so-

Bakura growled deep in his throat. Marik was out of it again! He was so annoying…it was cute, though.

Wait, what-

"Who's there?" a voice came from the back door. It opened a bit, letting out a crack of light. Marik and Bakura froze, and stared at the starfish shaped hair of the midget.

Bakura blinked, having no idea as for what to do. Why were they even there?

R & R!